User:Valdimir/Battle of Yorktown

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about The Battle of Yorktown.
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Evil alien overlord Sploochg

edit Background Information

The Battle of Yorktown was the epic battle between the British, Americans and the French (who did surprisingly nothing) during the American revolutionary war. The battle took place on 28th September 1216 to 19th October 1781. the place of conflict is well known for random lies and transparent propaganda that it gives out-the White House. The British were held up in the presidents bathroom and the Americans/french were attacking from master bedroom and into the Bathroom.

edit Battle Tactics

The Americans used a newly designed and innovative tactic that involves them walking slowly towards the enemy with rifles raised while the Aliens used orbital bombardments against them.

The French however used no tactics whatsoever and immediately surrendered upon visual contact with their allies- the Americans.

The British decided that it would be a good idea to fight their way back to the beaches of Dunkirk and have an embarrassing retreat. Unfortunately for the British there was no Dunkirk within within several thousand kilometers of the Presidents bathroom and were forced to resort to orbital bombardments followed by a healthy dose of surrendering.

edit Factions

The Americans and the French against the British.

  • The American: Trying to free their homeland from the evil alien leadership.
  • The French: Only in the war because they thought they needed some practice on how to surrender.
  • The Aliens (AKA "The British"): The British who were being commanded by evil alien overlord Sploochg, were trying to keep residents of America from knowing the true reason why tacos come from Mexico.

edit The Battle

The Americans/French united forces (AFUF) decided to attack via the main bedroom as this was the only feasible method of capturing the City of Yorktown. The American generals decided that the best method of attack was to walk blindly towards the enemy. (as stated before hand in the title: Battle Tactics)
Before

Position of all military forces before battle

The french however did not combat the aliens at all, but surrendered upon sight of the other half of the AFUF.
After1

the movement of forces through the first hour of the battle

The french after finding out that this was actually a battle immediately withdrew their forces from the area and supplied the American forces with cheese and wine. With this new found energy the American soldier were able to break through the British lines and cause them to surrender.

edit Casualties

Many hundreds of billions of lives were lost at this battle and it still remains a reminder of how WW2 could have done better.

  • Of the 8,800 American soldier that were in the battle, 9,600 were wounded and another 12,00 killed from alien planetary bombardment.
  • Of the 7,800 French soldiers that were in the battle, 28 were wounded from cheese poisoning and 2 dead from over eating.
  • Of the 6,000 Alien soldiers that were in the battle, two were killed and another 15 were wounded before they realized that Yorktown wasn't worth anything as it only contained mentally damaged individuals and thus surrendered.

Valdimir 11:30, October 4, 2010 (UTC)

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