Michigan J. Frog promotes tonight's lineup!

The White Bitches Television Network (The WB) was an American television network that ran from 1995 to 2006 as a joint venture of Warner Bros. and Corporate America. During its eleven-year run, it proved popular with the African-American demographic who regularly tuned in to watch whiny white teenage girls complain about their problems on soap operas, with premises eerily similar whatever the current fad of the week was at the time.[1]

How it startedEdit

In 1995, with Fox being the fourth station, many people were wondering how to make a new TV station and have it be aimed toward everyone. They talked to Warner Brothers about this, and they made The WB.

For awhile, some stations would be neck-and-neck with UPN, a station that never made anything but shit. Maybe that was because they didn't have a black-faced Frog named Michigan J. Frog, or they weren't known as The Weird Butt Network. Maybe it's because it was owned by Viacom, yeah, that's it! That's why UPN failed!

Sunday NightsEdit

The station didn't show much until Sunday nights and later Wednesday nights, but trying to topple The Simpsons, they had TV shows such as Pinky and the Brain, The Parent 'Hood, Sister, Sister, Brother, Brother, Kirk, and Married With Alf. None of these shows toppled anything from Fox... well, at least not The Simpsons or The X-Files. This would be the Sunday Night Lineup for two years because the network was that damn lazy — hey, at least they weren't UPN.[2]

Wednesday NightsEdit

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about The WB.

Since Wednesday Nights had nothing on TV anyhow, The WB showed Sister, Sister, Brother, Brother, The Wayans Brothers, and Married With Alf. They were of such low quality, that many viewers nicknamed them "Must-Flee Wednesdays" or "OFIW" ("Oh Fuck, It's Wednesday").

Saturday MorningsEdit

Children's programming was shown on The WB's Saturday morning block Kids' WB!. Shows included, but were not limited to: reruns of classic cartoons (Looney Tunes), typically "zany" "Warner-y" cartoons laced with hidden adult jokes (Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, Freakazoid!), superhero shows with surprisingly deep storytelling and mature themes (Batman: The Animated Series, Justice League), poorly-dubbed anime (Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Shaman King), punked-out poser toons (Loonatics Unleashed, Johnny Test), faux-anime shows built around Asian stereotypes (Xiaolin Showdown, Jackie Chan Adventures), and stolen programming from other networks (Star Wars: Clone Wars, The Powerpuff Girls).


It wasn't until 1997 when The WB gave up on all those shows and made shows that would be better. There was a show called Savannah which was actually about Scarlett who came back to Tara after Rhett left her. And if this sounds familiar, then you're right because it was a TV series of Gone with the Wind.

They would play Savannah, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Dawson's Creek on Sundays. But since Savannah was too lame, The WB made another show called 7th Heaven which made people feel good... that was good, but it was on during Touched by an Uncle and The Simpsons at the time. However, 7th Heaven was the third-most watched show on Sundays.


After having some successes with Smallville, Steve Harvey Show, Jamie Foxx Show, and Gilmore Girls, The WB had many flops. It was in 2003 when Jamie Kennedy took over The WB and he hired Dave Chappelle to make a reality show called Zapped!. Zapped! was only on for one episode because there was too much controversy, but the people loved it.

The WB lost it once they lost Zapped!; even their weekday morning subsidiary Kids' WB! had previously lost viewers when the funny WB cartoons like Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, and Freakazoid! got squeezed-out for humorless ADHD anime like Pokémon, then lost even more viewers when abominations like Johnny Test, Coconut Fred, and Loonatics Unleashed came on. In 2005, The WB removed Michigan J. Frog as their mascot in an attempt to appear less "childish" and better court the teen demographic, yet lost even more viewers. But they still trudged on, until 2006 when...

The CWEdit

The WB sold their soul in 2006 when they signed a contract with blood with CBS, agreeing to merge with competitor UPN into new network The CW. Their calling cards were "The CW: What does that mean and do we really care?" and "The CW: Paint drying actually sounds more entertaining."

And what is on The CW...?


So all in all... The WB became The CW, which still has the white teen dramas that The WB provided, but also adds a bunch of superhero shows and whatnot. Good luck tuning in!


  1. The primetime slots on various days are deficated in, then wrapped up with Pretty White Kids and pointless guest stars like Christopher Reeves.
  2. On Saturdays, The WB was void of life. When you turned it to the WB channel, it leeched programming from another network.
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