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“Those corrupt bastards! I heard that once Fizz had a crap in the toaster.”
“I can't believe that Fizz's Mummy accused me of emptying the tub of chocolate spread into the toaster and wasting messing the toaster up when all along Fizz had done a crap! I cleaned the toaster out for her but not before saying that the chocolate spread looked like crap and it deserved to be wasted, she said to me that the chocolate spread was not crap fine to eat and I wasting time money by not wasting it but I'm right so I spread'n'slice Mummy's crap...HA!”
edit Early life
edit Rhineland Trip
Date: Thursday 2nd April- Monday 6th April 2009 Classes: Year 7- 9 Notes: This is the first trip in Broomfield School and the only trip to feature people who are not in our year, this is the only trip in Year 7 and the only trip so far to expand over a day and also the only trip to be somewhere abroad. Noticeable People: Erol, Dara, Tosin, Ty-Jhan, Sha-Kayla, Ayodele, Patrycja, Eliza, Kate, Olivia, Jaquitta, Bahvick, Roberta, Curtis, Jenika, George.
Date: Monday 19th July 2010 Classes: 8M,F&I Notes: Despite this being the first trip in Year 8 this is also the first trip in 15 months the last trip being the Rhineland Trip in Year 7 and this trip is the first to take place during Activities Week. This is the second trip to feature people Sha-Kayla. Noticeable People: Sha-Kayla, Vanessa, Kobby, Hannah, Dara, Alhajie, Ayfer, Giorgio, Stephanie Melanou, Stephanie (10I), Nicholas, Angelicka, Dilpret, Munta, Rosie.
edit Science Museum
Date: Tuesday 20th July 2010 Classes: 8M,F&I Notes: This is the second trip to take place during Activities Week. This is the third trip to feature Sha-Kayla. Noticeable People: Sha-Kayla, Vanessa, Kobby, Hannah, Dara, Alhajie, Ayfer, Giorgio, Stephanie Melanou, Stephanie (10I), Nicholas, Angelicka, Dilpret, Munta, Rosie.
edit Walton on the Naze
Date: Friday 15th October 2010 Classes: 9B,R,O,M&F Notes: This is the first trip in Year 9 and the first trip since the Rhineland Trip in the Year 7 not to take place during Activities Week, it is also the first trip to not include anyone from any form classes that involve I,E,L&D as they went on a different day. This is the second trip to feature Tosin and the fourth to feature Sha-Kayla. Noticeable People: Hana, Alhajie, Kwabena, Stephanie, Olivia, Timur, Tosin, Sha-Kayla, Shenequa.
edit Tower of London
Date: Wednesday 20th July 2011 Classes: 9R,F&L Notes: This trip foreshadows some of the people from 9L who are going to be in my classes in Year 10, this trip takes place during Activities week. Noticeable People: Halimaa, Reluka, Jiang, Alice, Karice, Mikkesh, Shiane, Pritesh, Jessica, Mehwish, Ihaab, Krishnen, Dajour, Io, Alex, Giorgio, Stephanie, Alhajie, Dominic, Balgisa, Kwabena, Kathy, Idil, Emmanuel, Abdinasir, Ali, Yasemin, Ravina, Kate, Patrycja, Eliza.
edit Bowling and Cinema
Date: Thursday 21st July 2011 Classes: 9R,F&L Notes: Along with the Tower of London trip it foreshadows the people from 9L who are going to be in my classes in Year 10 and it is another trip that takes place during Activities Week. Noticeable People: Marco, Sheniz, Yasmine, Halimaa, Reluka, Jiang, Alice, Karice, Mikkesh, Shiane, Pritesh, Jessica, Mehwish, Ihaab, Krishnen, Dajour, Io, Alex, Giorgio, Stephanie, Alhajie, Dominic, Balgisa, Kwabena, Kathy, Idil, Emmanuel, Abdinasir, Ali, Yasemin, Ravina, Kate, Patrycja, Eliza.
edit British Museum
Date: Thursday 5th January 2012 Classes: 10Y&10Z Notes: This will be the first trip in Year 10 and the third trip to not be part of Activities Week, this will be the second trip the feature Alice, Marco, Dilpret, Angelicka, Emmanuel, Idil, Yasmine, Sheniz, Krishnen and Jiang- Liang. People Going on the Trip: Takudzwa, Nooreen, Regan, Qais, Sacaria, Alice, Barteu, Dilpret, Marco, Vanisha, Firat, Preena, Kenny, Angelicka, Archie, Reyhan, Abdellatif, Elvis, Idil, Emmanuel, Kareen, Adam, Sheniz, Shakir, Aneesa, Krishnen, Tharushi, Jiang- Liang, Yasmine, Mandeep, Margeret, Giorgio, Daisee, Diti.
edit Geography Trip
Date: March 2012 Classes: TBA... Notes: The day of this trip is unknown, this will be the second trip to include Kobby, George, Elise, Reluka and Shakir, the third trip to feature Jiang- Liang, Mandeep and Patrycja.
A short while into their visit, Fizz came up with a crazy scheme to ensnare more kids into their diabolical plans. They would host their own childrens' tv show, displaying a false sense of security on air but secretely preying on the adolescent fans backstage. Milo asked if there would be tie up involved. Bella said there would. And so it was agreed, The Tweenies went on air to a wide reception. Their on-screen antics involved hitting each other with spades, slagging off Doodles for his blatant obesity, and humming annoying tunes. Jake was once caught licking wet paint in the studio. He also tried to touch himself with a smelting iron, before running out into the tweenie garden screaming 'The butterflies did it! The butterflies did it!'.
edit Paedophilia and other criminal acts
A conversation between Milo and a backstage-pass seven year old boy would be as follows:
“Would you like to come into my room for some cocoa?”
“You smell funny, Milo. What's that in your hand?”
“Why, that's a dildo. I made it just for you.”
“My daddy says I shouldn't talk to you any more. He says you're a bad man.”
“Well you're daddy ain't here now! Now come on, strip! Do it slowly, relish it.”
“Why are you doing this, mister?”
“Because I like it! Now you've got a backstage pass, and I'll guarantee that you'll see ALL of Milo tonight.”
The conversation would abruptly end at this point as Milo drags the little kid into his dressing room. The boy in question will on his suit the next month. Milo is most definitely a mother fucking asshole.
edit The Tweenies\Fimbles war
Around a year or so after the Tweenies show made its debut, another prime time tv series began to grab the attention of young viewers across the country. A new breed of creatures, called the Fimbles, were attempting to counter the Tweenie Movement. Looking like obscure drawings from the hand of a mental patient, they consisted of Flimbo (crack addict), Florrie (arsonist) and the much-maligned Baby Pom (possibly even more retarded than Jake). Their shows copied the material of the Tweenies, including the infamous episode where Flimbo got busted for storing two thousand pounds of weed in his suit. In reataliation, Milo snuck subliminal messages into footage, warning children not to be lead away from his arch enemies. Eventually, the young audiences of both shows split in two over arguing which characters were more entertaining. The Tweenies\Fimbles war ensued, with thousands dying on both sides. Fizz attempted to assassinate Baby Pom during broadcasting, but failed. Little kids tore each others throats out and drank the blood of their enemies, desperate to prove their side's superiority. The war came to an abrupt end after only half a year, when an army of Teletubbies fanatics brought the war to Teletubby Land. Many lives were took, mostly the giant oversized rabbits in the hilly land. The war ended eventually when the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse arrived, destroying Teletubby Land. The survivors left the dead and went on with their lives. All scorned children were healed by the Four Horsemen and hypnotised into believing the entire war was a month-long crossover television special.
edit Conclusion to the War
Several months after the war had ended in Teletubby Land that saw the end of the Tweenies, Fimbles and Teletubbies, most of the survivors continued on with their lives or started a new. Bella died during the final climatic battle, all of her blood sucked out of her by the vacuum cleaner known as Noo-Noob. Her body was used as a melee weapon by the remaining Fimble characters, and then burnt by the Horsemen.
Milo, the purle-faced bald Tweenie, survived the fight. He became a plumber working in the backstreets of London, but soon quit this job upon learning his best friend and huffer, Jake, had also survived. Jake had been shaken by the war, and was put in an asylum for several months, but he left eventually. Living in a dumpster, he shaved off his crazy hairstyle and renamed himself Dotman after his alter ego. Milo helped Jake and they lived together in a small closet in the remains of the BBC Television Centre. Jake eventually died after trying to eat a mousetrap. Milo has since become a goat farmer in Northern York on England, smoking weed and his own hair.
Fizz, being one of the youngest, fell into a coma and was in hospital for a year. She eventually woke up out of the blue and murdered half the staff in the hospital with a deadly version of the Tweenie Clock, now a spinning blade saw. She escaped arrest and spent several weeks as a prostitute, but gave that up as well when one of her clients was revealed to be an undead form of Judy, a Welsh child carer who died during the war. Fizz lost her mind as well and began the "Fizz Massacre".
Elderly gent Max was revealed to actually be the scientist who created the Tweenies in the first place, revived using their DNA. He was very faithful to the Tweenies during the war, but triumphantly died when he crashed an fighter plane into the side of Roly Mo's cave, blowing up after of the Fimble's playgarden in the process.
Doodles and his mate Izzles, who was created by Fizz and Bella during an ass-raping session with the dog, both survived and now live together in Buckingham Palace where they have a growing family of mutated spotted Corgies.
The Fimbles seemed to suffer worse endings. Fimbo died after eating poisoned Crimble Crackers. Florrie survived, but lost her virginity to a crazed tramp and now works in a library somewhere in Essex. Baby Pom was finally killed by Fizz during her massacre, running her down with her baby stroller. Rockit, the insane hyperactive frog, lost his bounce and spent the rest of his days sniffing coke and using his legs to clean windows on high buildings. His legs were eventually amputated when he was run down by a car. He took his life by strangling himself with his tongue. Roly Mo, the friendly mole storyteller, still lives on. He was the only survivor of the war to get help in life, eventually leading on to star in his own show, the Roly Mo Show, with his annoying niece and two retarded ferret things. Bessie, the chicken lady survived at the cost of her baby chick, Ribble, who she tossed into a minefield to escape across unharmed. She now lives alone in a house full of pigeons, armed with a shotgun.
The Teletubbies all survived, but Tinky Winky was assassinated for apparently being homosexual.be reported missing, then presumed dead. No trace of Milo's deeds are found, apart from a small white stain
edit The Fizz Massacre
Around four months after the end of the war, Fizz, who was in a coma in hospital and awoke. Wanting blood, she quickly turned the salvaged Tweenie Clock into a deadly powersaw weapon and began killing all the hospital staff. Oddly, no patients were harmed, as Fizz referred to them as "her kind". As the police entered the hospital to capture Fizz, she escaped out of a window and ran off into the night.
A nationwide hunt began for Fizz, who had begun going on a random killing spree every night since her escape, and was referred to as "The Fizzler". During her massacre, Fizz successfully killed her rival, Baby Pom, with a baby stroller. Fizz also killed several minor celebrities, none worth mentioning. When Fizz nearly took off the head of the Queen, the people at Number 10, Downing Street, sent out the world's best assassin - The Legendary Oscar Wilde. He chased Fizz across the United Kingdom, until she eventually ran into Milo in Scotland. Fizz tried to hide out with him, but she soon learnt he was a sheep shag and so left. With Oscar Wilde on her tail, Fizz decided to try and jump countries or die trying. She died trying. But it was not Oscar Wilde who killed her, but someone launching a faulty snowglobe at Fizz's head, killing her instantly. Milo, Doodles and Izzles were the only ones to attend Fizz's funeral, but on October 31st, 2007, Fizz's grave was found dug up and her body missing. The only catch was, it looked as though the grave was dug up from the inside.
In early january 2004 a BBC panorama special revealed that Fizz had been working the streets of Campden as a WHORE. However the sordid tale doesnt end there kids...one of her reliable customers was the infamous Def Jam rapper D.O.O.D.L.E.S, the BBC can confirm that the named rap artist was 'pimpin' dat hoe', so to speak.
edit Involvement with Akon
This is who Akon is... Akon is a rapper who is known by white people as a black guy and known by black people as a nigga who was born in Senegal in Africa who broke the charts in 2004 after he was releaced from jail after him and Ricky Martain caused damages to a load of 50+ 80s celebrities after causing the conga which involved celebrities such as Toni Basil who he was obsessed with and made allegations about in 1989, Spagna who he married in a marriage of convenience in 1996, Black Lace's Colin Routh, Tight Fit, Coast To Coast and Ottawan among others, although his career was more sucsessful then it had ever been before by 2005, he had lost what attracted the middle aged towards him, so instead he decided to try his new charms on younger people and raped and molested a 14 year old girl while on stage at concert. He managed to prevent this from stopping him selling records however the 14 year old girl went on to be molested by Jedward and Louie Walsh before her heart throb Wagner started singing Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell before winning her over with I'lld Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That). The Tweenies were involved with him, they keep him company because he was Lonely, oh so lonely mr lonley...