The Sisters of Mercy

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 23:45, September 14, 2012 by 70.173.17.71 (talk)

Jump to: navigation, search
Edward

Happy, happy, joy, joy....

“Sisters of Mercy? Sisters of bad taste and music.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Sisters Of Mercy


The Sisters Of Mercy are an English gothic rock band that formed in 1979 by Andrew Eldritch instead of his career as a translator of Mandarin Chinese, which was his Major at Community College of Southern Leeds. It is considered by most Critics that "Doktor Avalanche" is the best musician in the groups history. Considering it was a Drum Machine this brought Andrew into deeper depression, further delaying any future album. The band named themselves after a Concerto by Leonardo Cohen, (The Dude with the really bad, deep baritone voice that made "music" apparently in the 70's that wrote "Hallelujah") .

History

The early days

Darkness, Joy Division Plagurism, and Self Loathing....and really bad Joy Division-Ish Plagurism. And a Bono-Ish Cowboy Hat with Aviator Sunglasses all the Fucking Time. Later the Aviators/Sunglasses became a staple addiction, while the Cowboy hat was passed to Bono, and Brett Michael's, and Brett's Herpes and Receding Hairline.


The Super Cool, Relevant for a shorttime, but unfortunately not a real touring band with a drummer FLOODLAND era

Ok so His Name is Really Andrew but were going to call him Yvonne Later in the Mythology after this one. The "Real" story of them is quite intriguing. They were not a "Real" band so to speak when Floodland(the groups most successful album to date.) came out and Andrew refused to tour. Consumed with his Greed, Self Loathing, and his incurable Love for Former Bandmate Ogra Morrison, & not touring after Floodland (the groups most successful album to date.) was among many issues which led to the downfall, and inevitable dissolution of The Sisters of Mercy. His inability to obtain a Record Contract with a Major Label and Eldritch's Unwillingness to sign Independently or release anything Independently, has in turn "Doomed" any chance for release of a future Sisters of Mercy Studio Album.


Andrew Eldritch now consumes a Large Jar of Nutella daily and is a "Blubbery shell of the man he once was". He also laments of his love for former member Ogra Morrison, and his biggest regret not touring after Floodland(the groups most successful album to date.) He can Now be found at a random Bus stop in Leeds, England with a "Ghetto Blaster"Stereo with a Cassette Tape of Floodland (the groups most successful album to date.)Running through his setlist, The Entire Floodland Album (the groups most successful album to date.)with all Seven versions of "THIS CORROSION"(the groups most successful Single to date. Considered their "Magnus Opus")

On a Side Note He Looked Really, Really cool during the Floodland era (the groups most successful album to date.) But for some reason got really bad writers block after Ogra Left him. After Ogra Left Eldritch, he began a downward spiral, binging on Nutella and Failure. The Sisters of Mercy Have Not Released an Album since Floodland. (the groups most sucessful album to date.) Vision Thing is Not considered an "Album" so much as an "Act of Desperation", and a meditation on Self Loathing.

Personal tools
projects