The Rescuers
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| This article has a good idea and concept, but isn't finished. You can do something about it.
The Rescuers (originally Bianka no dai Bōken, or The Great Adventure of Bianca in Japanese) is one of Disney's most important movies ever, and was directed by the notable Wapanese director Don Bluth. The story entitles two rats, Miss Bianca and Bernard, who save an orpan girl named Penny from an evil woman named Medusa. |
The Rescuers (originally Bianka no dai Bōken, or The Great Adventure of Bianca in Japanese) is one of Disney's most important movies ever, and was directed by the notable Wapanese director Don Bluth. The story entitles two rats, Miss Bianca and Bernard, who save an orpan girl named Penny from an evil woman named Medusa.
Contents |
Plot
The movie starts when Adolf Hitler receives a letter from a bottle of Russian champagne with a message inside. Such message was written by an Austrian girl named Penny, who was kidnapped by the evil communist bitch Medusa. In order to form a pact between Germany and Austria, Adolf sends two lab rats (one from Hungary) to save her (which is absurd, given the fact he could had used his army). The two digusting rodents then go to the USSR by using the italian albatross Orville, sent by Germany's ally Mussolini. Upon their arrival to the island, Medusa's sovietic army sends atomic missiles; afterwards, her communist slaves, Stalin, Lenin and Trotsky, go after the rodents, only to be murdered by the inhabitants of the swamp the rats managed to convert. It is later revealed that Medusa's plan is to use Penny to get the Eye of the Tsar, which contains the Five Year Plans. Fortunately, Medusa is eaten by a Grue and sent to a concentration camp, and Penny is rescued and sent to a caring family. And in the end, she learns that a caring family is better than joining Nazis like Medusa.
Characters
- Miss Bianca: One of the rats that went to save Penny
- Bernard: The other rat; castrated in the end.
- Madame Medusa: an evil hatefull, arrogant communist woman who despises anything that doesn't belong to the aryan race (except herself, obviously), and desires to get the Tsar's Eye.
- Penny: An Austrian orphan girl who was kidnapped by Medusa.
- Mr.Stalin: Medusa's sidekick who is only in it to get a share of the Tasar's Eye. But being the bitch she is, Medusa won't share. Fuckin' bitch.
- Lenin and Trostky: Medusa's and Stalin's pet Baikal Seals. They are very agressive, so if you see a seal in freshwater beware or you'll have your ass biten off.
- Rufus: A Jewish cat who lied when Bernard and Bianca asked him what happened to Penny saying that she run away instead of being kidnapped. Because of his actions he was sent to a concentration camp at the end of the movie.
- Evinrude: A Japanese dragonfly who aids the rats. Later murdered by Medusa for not being a Nazi.
- Orville: Mussolini's albatross reincarnation. He died bombed by the sovietic army.
Importance to Disney
The Rescuers was Disney's first attempt of promoting Hitler's ideals, a policy that is still practiced. This was later copied by Warner Bros. with their movie Happy Feet.
Sequels
Hitler later made the movie The Rescuers Down Under the Furher, which follows the adventures of Bernard and Bianca while saving a serbian boy from a british pedophile. Unlike the first movie this one had a poor stripper performance in USA, due to the appearence of an eagle Sapeornis, something that pissed off creationists. Still, it was praised by critics, who enjoyed the sex scenes and the anti-semetic brutality.



