The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything

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Well, this isn't the actual button. It's a photograph of it, dumbo - that is why it actually does something (ie. links to its image details page).

“It's got to do something, I mean everything has to do something”

~ Suspicious Guy on The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything

“If a tree falls on the Really Big Button in the forest when nobody is there, does it do something?”

~ This Guy on The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything

“In Soviet Russia,big button pushes you”

~ Russian reversal on human pushing

“ that's a big button”

~ captain obvious on button size

“Don't press it.. Just don't...”

~ The one legged guy in the corner on The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything

“Ooh, what's this button do?”

~ Captain Sarcastic on The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything

“F--- The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything.”

~ Pope John Paul II on The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything

“The Button...Does Nothing? I don't understand? Maybe if I push it again, and again, and again, and...”

~ Halsoft on The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything

The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything is a rather large, mysterious button in cyberspace. Some say the button does not actually exist, rather it is a mythical concept which can have applications in all areas of modern life. Others say it was made up by sad geeks with too much time on their hands and recent research has proven this to be the more likely option. However, a number of hardcore Internet nerds ~~and gullible idiots~~ still resiliently believe in the mystical philosophy of The Button.

The button's name suggests that nothing happens if it is pressed, though not everyone actually knows for sure if this is true. Legend has it that anyone who has done so has had nothing done to them.

[edit] Historical Context

There isn't really a big red button, it's infact just a myth made up by some jewish guy trying to catch up with the cristians made up object: Jesus.

Rumours surrounding The Button began to emerge around the time the Internet was invented. Conversations in pub toilets and chip shops worldwide inevitably circulated:

"Hey, have you seen that button? You know, the really big one?"

"Yeah, it's like, awesome. did you press it?"

"No, of course not. I heard this one guy went to press it, but had nothing done to him upon touching it."

"Whoa, dude..."

The Button's mystique saw its number of followers grow and grow. By 1996, it is estimated over 500,000 people had visited the site of the great button in Spatula City, Pixelscape, creating shrines and organizing communal chanting in Ancient Leet. Surprisingly, however, it is thought that in this time very few people, if anyone, actually pressed it.

[edit] Dispelling the myths

In 1997, it was finally arranged that the button be pressed. It fell on one James, of Wales, to finally confirm the actual function of the button. In front of the world's media, James took a huge breath and thrust his palm down upon the mighty red object. As he pushed, millions of engrossed viewers all over the world looked on... to see nothing happen.

And with that, the popularity of the button died almost immediately. It seemed every myth that ever circulated about the button was dispelled. Despite this seemingly conclusive proof, some idiots still think the button might actually do something once pressed. These claims are in fact heavily misplaced, as the button is currently in no fit state to be pressed by any land-mammal, floating as it is somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Some mad geezer got cheesed off when he was told the button would get him a girlfriend, and chucked it off a cliff when nothing happened.

[edit] The Myth Lives On

The scary part about all this is that just three days after that guy threw the button in the sea, he was tragically killed when he inadvertently walked into an incinerator.

Another example would be about that guy that you didn't hear about in the news because of all the bad things that happened to him after the button inadvertently convinced him to 'not' 'not' 'not push the button after he had decided that he would'nt 'not' do what the button had said that he would 'not' do what he was thinking what he would'nt want to do. The members of his family personally blame the button for what happened to him.

And Jimbo? Well, we all know what happened to him.....

[edit] See Also

The Red Button. Access a wealth of information on almost anything with the simple press of a button.
Big red button. It's a button, and it's red. But it isn't The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything.
Jenson Button. Another big red button that doesn't actually do anything.