The Pussycat Dolls

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“We're like Destiny's Child - with all five members and I'm Beyoncé.”

~ Nicole Sherzinger on the Pussycat Dolls

“There is only ONE Pussycat Doll. The others are just optional extras in music videos.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Nicole Sherzinger

“Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out!”

~ Nicole Sherzinger on the Pussycat Dolls

“I Wanna Have Groupies/Boobies?”

~ Typical 12 Year Old Girl on the Pussycat Dolls

The Pussycat Dolls (Spanish pronunciation: El Putacat Dolls) are a group of five gigantic dolls that look like demented cats. They write songs and dance like humans. Only one of them can actually sing. <--- Note: the person who wrote that was drunk at the time.

Contents 1 Their Bodies 2 Where They All Started 3 Is It Their Own Music???? 4 The Story of the Dolls 5 How They Got Their Name 6 PCD, the STD 7 PCD 7.1 Track listing 7.1.1 Mobile ringtones and extra 8 Doll Nicole Domination 8.1 Track listing 8.1.1 International bonus tracks 8.1.2 Deluxe Edition Bonus Disc 9 Doll Nicole Domination 20 9.1 Track Listing 10 Doll Nicole Domination 3.0 10.1 Track listing 10.1.1 Deluxe Edition Bonus Disc 11 The Search For The Next Doll 11.1 RECENT UPDATE

[edit] Their Bodies

They like to brag about how curvy and sexy they are. In fact, one of the lines in their new song 'Buttholes' is 'I'm a sexy mofo'. As The Pussycat Dolls are in fact part dinosaur, they choose to wear 1/4 the amount of clothes that humans do. Humans wear clothes, cats don't. If the world was kind, these cunts among cats wouldn't be able to show their clothes to the unsuspecting human world. We don't NEED to see every bit of flesh or their newest hair style, they can tell us they're chubby over and over but that doesn't change the fact - WE DON'T ACTUALLY CARE, OKAY? EAT SHIT AND DIE MOFOs!

[edit] Where They All Started

They started acting in cheap internet porn videos by giving guys good blowjobs and riding their dicks before they were famous. They could not sing and make their own lyrics as they were meth-addicts from the streets of LA. Celebrities such as Paris Hilton, and Your Mother started out in the same industry as The Pussycat Dolls. They were rumoured to accept tampons and pubic hair for their services.

[edit] Is It Their Own Music????

The only songs they wrote themselves are "Barney's On Fire" and "I Pissed My Pants". Among the writers of the rest of the album, you can find Elvis Presley, a Grue, Pete Wentz, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George W. Bush Senior and Buffy Anne Summers. Most of the songs are produced by an unknown producer, who calls himself Timbaland.

[edit] The Story of the Dolls

Barbie and her friends all started their life in a toy store, in Los Angeles that sold nothing but rubbish.

They were bought by a twelve year old genius named Artemis Fowl. Artemis wanted to give them brains so that they steal gold for him, however Foaly got his hands on these and after finding out they didn't know a thing about computers he gave them to Chix Verbil.

Chix then found out they couldn't handle his "big gun" (How were they supposed to?! They're dolls!) and gave them to the music industry (because he didn't have a clue about what to do with them), who put them to good use making music videos for the brain-dead chavs of the nations of the Earth.

Barbie and her friends, were then transformed into cat dolls. Their music videos had to be edited, so that they looked human. They came up with the name Pussycat Dolls and continued their lives as a bunch of useless popstars.

But soon Barbie and her friends were accidentally broken. They were replaces by the Bratz dolls, who didn't last long either.

[edit] How They Got Their Name

Because they wanted to go international with their music, they decided that their name should consider of different languages.

• "Pus" = "darling" in danish
• "Sycat" = "We are" in Icelandic
• "Do" = "very" in Belgian
• "lls" = "Cool and hot, and don't you forget it!" in French

[edit] PCD, the STD

Thanks to all the girls living in close quarters, GHB, and reverse gang bangs a new STD was created and lovingly named after the group. Signs and symptoms of PCD include nausea, headaches, seizures (this could be dancings, the jury is still out), scabies, pinkeye, sore throat, anal leakage, violent vaginal discharge, loss of cerebral spinal fluid, paralysis, lactose intolerance, xenophobia, dyslexia, dandruff, uncontrollable dribbling, death and ingrowing toenails.

[edit] PCD

Their first porn music album; note the imaginative title. The Dolls have released the songs "Don't Cha", "Don't Ya'll (Wish We Didn't Speak Like Britney Spears)" featuring Snoopy Dogg, and "Beep" (a song which doesn't have the title in its lyrics). They have also released a bunch of other songs including:

[edit] Track listing

• "Sway (Or We'll Eat Your Babies)"
• "Don't Cha (Remix #1)"
• "Stickwitpu"
• "Wait a Minute (I Didn't Have These STDs Before Doing You)"
• "Don't Cha (Remix #2)"
• "I Don't Need a Man (Because I'm Asexual)"
• "Don't Cha (Remix #3)"
• "We're on Fire (Because We Farted Next to a Candle, Oops We Did It Again)"
• "Don't Cha (Remix #4)"
• "Take Your Clothes Off Guys (Before We Take Them Off for You)"
• "Don't Cha (Remix #54)"
• "We Love Naked Men with Big Muscles"
• "Don't Cha (Remix #180)"
• "ButtHoles"
• "Don't Cha (Remix #Oh, who gives a fuck anymore?)"
• "Never Been Licked (Nicole's Autobiographic Song)"

Remixes 5-53 for "Don't Cha" were not released, but the Dolls will release a 13 disc album featuring all of them.

[edit] Mobile ringtones and extra

Extra slutty for your phone.

1. "He Always Answers 'Cos He Knows He's Gonna Get Some"
2. "It's on Vibrate (But Guess Where It Is)"
3. "Pussy Fun Message"
4. PCD tits wallpaper

[edit] Doll Nicole Domination

OMFG another bloody album!?

[edit] Track listing

1. "When I Grow Up (I Wanna Be a Slut)"
2. "Cherry Pop" (featuring some random Dogg)
3. "Don't Hate Us Coz We're Rich (Hater)"
4. "I Hate This Part of My Life"
5. "Takin' Over the World, Pussy Style"
6. "Out of This Pub" (featuring the child raper rapper R. Kelly)
7. "Who's Gonna Love You (After My Trophy Wife Whore of a Mum?)"
8. "Happily Ever After (In Our Mansions)" (featuring Paris Hilton and Jesus)
9. "Our Success is Not Magic (Look at My Chest)"
10. "This Song Called 'Halo' is Not Related to Beyonce's Song of the Same Name --PCD's Lawyer"
11. "I'm Not a Bitch in Person"
12. "Elevator Fuck"
13. "Hush Hush (Pull My Pants Down)"
14. "Love the Way You Love Me in Bed" (and elsewhere)
15. "Whatchamacallitadayandgetoveryourselfbecauseidontlikeyousostopstalkingmeustalker"
16. "I'm Done with This Old Guy Who Only Wants to Fuck Me"

[edit] International bonus tracks

Due to their collective lack of imagination, all song titles have brackets.

1. "Baby Love (OMGZ One of My Solo Songs!1!!!1 --Nicole)" (Let's Just Stick This Solo Nicole Scherzinger Song on Here and Hope No One Notices Remix)
2. "Lights, Camera...Oh Shit I Forgot to Get Dressed (Oh Well)"
3. "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps (I'll Get Laid)"
4. "When I Grow Up (I Wanna Be a Slut) (Desperate Cash-in Mix)"
5. "A Galleon of Man Cum a Day (Keeps Me This Way)" (Orgy Remix)
6. "What's This White Stuff (On My Face)" (EXCLUSIVE LIVE VIDEO)
7. "i love cock sandwiches(with extra mayo)"(cumshot fun version)
8. "i have herpes(i like it)
9. "wank on my tits (and coat me in cum)"(live)

[edit] Deluxe Edition Bonus Disc

Once Nicole got news on the other dolls having a turn to sing then she only released it in Africa (knowing there would be no sales). Like every other singer they always re-release the album but just put more useless shit on it and by the way the cover art is different? YES THE LOGO IS GREEN

1. "If I Was a Man (This Isn't a Rip-Off of 'If I Were a Boy', We Swear, Please JUSTBUYOURALBUM)" (Introducing MILF Scherzinger)
2. "Space is So Boring, When's Gossip Girl On?"
3. "Don't Wanna Fall in Love (Because I'll Get Raped)"
4. "Played You and Got Bored (Your Penis is Too Small)"
5. "Until U Love U (I Already Love Myself, Love Nicole)"

[edit] Doll Nicole Domination 20

No, not 2.0, 20. (That's how many re-releases of this album there have been so far.) The Pussies have changed some of their song titles so you will be sucked into thinking they're new songs.

[edit] Track Listing

1. "When I Grow Up (I Wanna Be a Slut) (You Know That Version You... Eh ... Havn't Heard Of)"
2. "I Hate This Part of My Life"
3. "I'm a Ho! (That Is My Destiny) (U. R. Stupid Feat. Nicole And the other 4 who do nothing)"
4. "Hush Hush; Hush Hush; Hush Hush (I (Nicole) Get The Final Say)"
5. "On Top Of God (literaly)"
6. "Hello (Do Me)"
7. "Painted Win-- Oh Fuck It, This Album's Just to Promote 'I'm a Ho!'"
8. "Cherry Pop (Shake Me) [Video Version (The Non-Orgy Edit] (This Version Was To Poor To get Dogg)"
9. "Never Gonna Take Over The World (That Pro7 Add Version [just to make more sales])"
10. "Doll Domaintion Intro (from there pathetic $2.50 income tour)"

[edit] Doll Nicole Domination 3.0

Yer well 2.0 (20) album was a shithole for sales so now they have RE(again)RELEASED ANOTHER album (because after there tour Nicole has told the other girls to piss of and go work at a fish and chip pala

[edit] Track listing

1. "When I Grow Up (I Wanna Be a Slut) (Final 2008 Release Version)"
2. "I Hate This Part of My Life (this song is now old)"
3. "I'm a Ho! (That Is My Destiny) (U. R. Stupid Feat. Nicole And the other 4 who do nothing)"
4. "Hush Hush; Hush Hush; Hush Hush, seriously, shut up already (I (Nicole) Get The Final Say)"
5. "The Way Our Menstrual Cycle Works Is Like Magic"
6. "Should We Release 4.0? (Extended Anoying Edit)"
7. "Cherry Pop (Shake Me) [The $35 Video Version And This Time It Has Snoop Dogg]"
8. "Takin' Over The World (If we never release a single for this)"
9. "iamnicoleandinowwillsplitthepussycatdollssoicanbemoreofawhoreandgosolo (Down A.K Mix)"

[edit] Deluxe Edition Bonus Disc

1. "I Hate This Part of My Life (Special 3.0 Remix)"
2. "Whatever You Like [Feat. I.T] (Nicole Only Edit)"
3. "Don't You Wanna Pick My Poo (Akenikeni) [Feat. Shit Brix]"

[edit] The Search For The Next Doll

Yes that's right, the five demented cat dolls are looking for another member. What kind of person would want to mutated into a freak? Those girls must be crazy! But fortunatly only one of them will become the crazy cat doll.

[edit] RECENT UPDATE

Shocking news, a girl has recently been declared too slutty to be a Pussycat Doll. The girl was voted off the series and is now facing the death sentence - for it should be illegal to be unleashed on the world if the sluttiest people alive (The Pussycat Dolls) have considered her too slutty.

Obviously the people on this show are actually looking for someone who doesn't look like a 'stripperella' and has a bit of class. Unfortunately, the Pussycat Dolls are lacking both of those qualities, in the near future we are expecting a mass gathering of their cds and music to be burned in one large bonfire. To rid the world of this evil.

Plans for another search for a new new member are set for the January. To save time and money, The CW network has suggested they hold "auditions" by driving a van down the red-light districts across America and anyone who approaches without open sores is automatically a finalist.