The Porchesian Holocaust

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<div style="float: left;"> [[Image:Bouncywikilogo.gif|60px]]</div>
 
<div style="margin-left: 60px;">For those ''without'' comedic tastes, the <choose><option>[[Scientists|so-called experts]]</option><option>[[Daily Mail|so-called experts]]</option><option>[[New York Times|so-called experts]]</option></choose> at [[Wikipedia]] '''do not''' have an article about '''''[[Wikipedia:Porchesia|Porchesia]]'''''.</div>
 
</div>
 
{{Q|My friend went to [[Porchesia]], and I expected to get a lousy T-shirt and say: ''My friend went to Porchesia and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt...'' But he never came back....|Anonymous}}
 
 
{{qNL|But later there occurred violent edit wars and trolls; and in a single moment of utter misfortune, the island of Porchesia disappeared into the depths of the sea. Never before had an entire nation been abolished by the click of a mouse.|Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 398}}
 
 
{| align="right" {{prettytable}} width="300" style="margin-left:0.5em;"
 
 
|-
 
|-
 
|style="background:cyan;" align="center" colspan=2|'''Commonwealth of Porchesia'''
 
|style="background:cyan;" align="center" colspan=2|'''Commonwealth of Porchesia'''
 
|-
 
|-
|style="background:#efefef;" align="center" | [[ Image:CoatPorchesia.JPG]]<br>''Coat of arms''
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|style="background:#efefef;" align="center" | [[Image:CoatPorchesia.JPG]]<br>''Coat of arms''
   
|style="background:#efefef;" align="center" | [[ Image:Porchesia-flag.png|200px]]<br>''Flag of Porchesia''
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|style="background:#efefef;" align="center" | [[Image:Porchesia-flag.png|200px]]<br>''Flag of Porchesia''
   
 
|-
 
|-
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|-
 
|-
 
|[[Motto]]:
 
|[[Motto]]:
|"Where did everyone go?"
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|''Is Vadum Non Exsisto Induco''<br>
  +
:<small>("It Shall Not Be Revoked")</small>
 
|-
 
|-
 
|[[Government]]:
 
|[[Government]]:
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|[[Currency]]
 
|[[Currency]]
 
|[[Aquatic Dinars]]
 
|[[Aquatic Dinars]]
|-
 
 
 
|-
 
|-
 
|Opening hours
 
|Opening hours
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|Sleep with the fish day
 
|Sleep with the fish day
 
|-
 
|-
 
 
|}
 
|}
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<div style="float: left;"> [[Image:Bouncywikilogo.gif|60px]]</div>
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<div style="margin-left: 60px;">Perhaps you think more information about '''''the Porchesian Holocaust''''' would be available from the [[Cabal|so-called experts]] at [[Wikipedia]]. How pathetically, desperately wrong you would be.</div>
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</div>
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<div style="clear: right; float: right">{{Listen|filename=Porchesia.mp3|title= The Porchesian Holocaust |description=Uncyclopedia has an audio version of this article.}}</div>
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{{Q|My friend went to [[Porchesia]], and I expected to get a lousy T-shirt and say: ''My friend went to Porchesia and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.'' But he never came back.|Anonymous}}
  +
{{Q|But later there occurred violent edit wars and trolls; and in a single moment of utter misfortune, the island of Porchesia disappeared into the depths of the sea. Never before had an entire nation been abolished by the click of a mouse.|Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 398}}
  +
{{Q|false info|[[Wikipedia:User:Danny|Danny]]|Porchesia}}
   
'''Porchesia''' was a small Mediterranean island-nation, situated across from [[Syria]] and [[Lebanon]] and considered to be a Lebanese affiliated territory. Alas, due to cruel and unusual click of the mouse, it no longer exists. The fate of the island was decided by one named only as 'Danny' who, in one fell swoop, wiped out the whole island along with ordering his groceries online and watching videos on [[YouTube]].
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'''Porchesia''' was a small [[Mediterranean]] [[island]]-[[nation]], situated across from [[Syria]] and [[Lebanon]] and considered to be a Lebanese-affiliated territory. Alas, due to a cruel and unusual click of the [[mouse]], it no longer exists. The fate of the island was decided by one named only as 'Danny' who, in one fell swoop, wiped out the whole island, ordered groceries online, and watched videos on [[YouTube]].
   
 
==Paradise==
 
==Paradise==
Imagine, if you please, sandy beaches, cocktails-happy-hour that stretches all throughout the day, scrumptious food, olive skinned women, tanned muscular men. Remember those days of bright blue water? The dolphins toying with you just off shore? Enormous pelicans? Nights filled with the staccato of Arabic music? Endless sky? Indigo sunsets?
+
Imagine, if you please, sandy beaches, happy hour that stretches all throughout the day, scrumptious food, olive skinned women, tanned muscular men. Remember those days of bright blue water? The dolphins toying with you just off shore? Enormous pelicans? Nights filled with the staccato of Arabic music? Endless sky? Indigo sunsets?
   
 
They are no more.
 
They are no more.
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==Creation==
 
==Creation==
 
[[Image:Porches.png|thumb|left|450px|Porchesia, heaven on earth]]
 
[[Image:Porches.png|thumb|left|450px|Porchesia, heaven on earth]]
Tired from years of [[civil war]]s, [[Israel|Zionist]] invasions, and Syrian despots, a group of the Levant's Elite gathered - intellectuals, scientists, ex-military leaders. Workers, models. House wives, miners, men of the cloth, men of the bathrobe. People of thought. People of matter. People of might. They all left, seeking for a better place to live the <s>American</s> Lebanese dream. And they found it, and their little paradise, called ''Porchesia''.
+
Tired from years of [[civil war]]s, [[Israel|Zionist]] invasions, and Syrian despots, a group of the Levant's Elite gathered - intellectuals, scientists, ex-military leaders. Workers, models. House wives, miners, men of the cloth, men of the bathrobe. People of thought. People of matter. People of might. They all left, seeking for a better place to live the <s>American</s> Lebanese dream.
   
 
==Liberté, égalité, fraternité==
 
==Liberté, égalité, fraternité==
Based on the French values of ''Freedom, Equality and Fraternity'', the now self-named ''Porchesians'' created a Liberal democracy, where all men and women, young and old, pretty and
+
Based on the [[enemas|French]] values of ''Freedom, Equality and Fraternity'', the now self-named ''Porchesians'' created a [[liberal]] [[democracy]] where all men and women, young and old, pretty and prettier, are made equal. No one would reign over his brother, sister or lover, unless specifically asked to do so while engrossed in a sexual act.
prettier, are made equal. No one shall reign over his brother, sister or lover, unless specifically asked to do so while engrossed in a sexual act.
 
   
No currency is needed. All shall be taken care of. They feasted on the fish, the poultry, the seeds, the fruit. Paradise, did we say?
+
No currency was needed. All shall be taken care of. They feasted on the fish, the poultry, the seeds, the fruit. Paradise, did we say?
   
 
We did.
 
We did.
   
 
==And what of the contact with the outside world, you say?==
 
==And what of the contact with the outside world, you say?==
Sporadic at best. A few tourists, a few entrepreneurs, some retired third world dictators et al. Glorious solitude, heaven on earth.
+
Sporadic at best. A few tourists, a few entrepreneurs, some retired third world dictators et al. Glorious solitude, heaven on earth.
  +
 
It was grand.
 
It was grand.
   
 
It was glorious.
 
It was glorious.
  +
  +
It was a popular destination for [[Cybernations|VE]] members, always on their annual outing on 15th of July.
   
 
It was a glitter on Earth's dusty existence.
 
It was a glitter on Earth's dusty existence.
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And then,
 
And then,
   
It was wiped from existence by [[wikipedia|them]].
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It was wiped from existence by [[wikipedia|Them]].
   
 
==The Wikipedia Holocaust==
 
==The Wikipedia Holocaust==
[[Image:Wikicaust.png|thumb|450px|right|''Mors ultima linea rerum est'']]
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[[Image:Wikicaust.png|thumb|450px|right|'''''Orbis terrarum est mei, etiamnunc non satis''''']]
{{Q|I, a Wikipedian admin, by the power invested in me by [[Jimbo Wales]], hereby declare this island-nation as null and void. '''Orbis terrarum est mei, etiamnunc non satis'''|Wikipedian Admin|Porchesia's final verdict}}
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{{Q|I, a Wikipedian admin, by the power invested in me by [[Jimbo Wales|King Jimbo I]], hereby declare this island-nation as null and void. '''Mors ultima linea rerum est'''|[[Wikipedia:User:Danny|Danny]]|Porchesia's final verdict}}
   
On September 30th, 2006 - the power that be, also known as the ''Wikipedious Adminatii'' has decided that such a serene place, such a paradise, such a benevolent form of existence, is a cosmic paradox - and must be wiped clean from earth's blackboard. <br/>
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On September 30, [[2006]], the power that be, also known as the ''[[Sysop|Wikipedious Adminatii]]'', decided that such a serene place, such a paradise, such a benevolent form of existence, was a cosmic paradox - and must be wiped clean from earth's blackboard. <br/>
 
And so, with the punch of the mouse's left button, '''''Porchesia was no more'''''.
 
And so, with the punch of the mouse's left button, '''''Porchesia was no more'''''.
   
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==Denial==
 
==Denial==
Following the outrage the followed the destruction of the peaceful nation, Wikipedia officials claimed ''that no such place exists''. Outcries by various [[UN]] agencies, the Lebanese government and helpless relatives, were to no avail. Nothing came across the gap of Wikipedia's colossal indifference. <br/>
+
[[Image:Porchesia-deleted.jpg|thumb|right|300px| [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&type=delete&user=Danny&page=Porchesia Porchesia est haud magis! Reproba notitia, est iam totus is est!]]]
''Porchesia was no more''<br />
+
Following the outrage regarding the destruction of the peaceful nation, Wikipedia officials claimed ''that no such place existed''. Outcries by various [[UN]] agencies, the Lebanese government and helpless relatives, were to no avail. Nothing came across the gap of Wikipedia's colossal indifference. <br/>
  +
''Porchesia was no more.''<br />
 
''No more''.
 
''No more''.
   
{{QNL|For ten glorious months, 354,897 men, women, and children lived harmoniously on Porchesia, a jewel in the treasure box that was the Mediterranean. Not a word was heard from them; not a grudge was held. Then, [[Wikipedia|they of whom we shall not speak]] ruthlessly expunged it with the simple click of a computer mouse. Do not feel sorry for these people, for neither have they existed, nor the island they lived on. ''Or did they?'' Perhaps, or not; we may never know.|Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 399}}
+
{{Q|For ten glorious months, 354,897 men, women, and children lived harmoniously on Porchesia, a jewel in the treasure box that was the Mediterranean. Not a word was heard from them; not a grudge was held. Then, [[Wikipedia|they of whom we shall not speak]] ruthlessly expunged it with the simple click of a computer mouse. Do not feel sorry for these people, for neither have they existed, nor the island they lived on. ''Or did they?'' Perhaps, or not; we may never know.|Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 399}}
 
[[Image:Porchesia-deleted.jpg|thumb|left|350px|Danny deletes Porchesia. [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&type=delete&user=Danny&page=Porchesia]]]
 
   
 
==See also==
 
==See also==
 
*[http://www.wikipedia-watch.org/porches.html The truth about the Porchesian Holocaust]
 
*[http://www.wikipedia-watch.org/porches.html The truth about the Porchesian Holocaust]
 
*[[wikipedia:Porchesia|Nothing but ashes at Wikipedia]]
 
*[[wikipedia:Porchesia|Nothing but ashes at Wikipedia]]
  +
*[[wikipedia:project:Articles for deletion/.ai|Tiny Anguilla narrowly escapes the same unspeakable fate that befell Porchesia]]
   
{{VFH}}
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{{FA|revision=1649490|date=3 March 2007}}
   
 
[[Category:Forgotten Countries]]
 
[[Category:Forgotten Countries]]
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[[fi:Porchesian holokausti]]

Latest revision as of 07:50, May 25, 2011

Commonwealth of Porchesia
CoatPorchesia
Coat of arms
Porchesia-flag
Flag of Porchesia
Official languages Arabic, English, Greek
Motto: Is Vadum Non Exsisto Induco
("It Shall Not Be Revoked")
Government: In exile
Military: Will be right back
Capital Sheikah
Religion Sunni Islam
Currency Aquatic Dinars
Opening hours Closed for the season
National Holiday Sleep with the fish day
Bouncywikilogo
Perhaps you think more information about the Porchesian Holocaust would be available from the so-called experts at Wikipedia. How pathetically, desperately wrong you would be.
“My friend went to Porchesia, and I expected to get a lousy T-shirt and say: My friend went to Porchesia and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt. But he never came back.”
“But later there occurred violent edit wars and trolls; and in a single moment of utter misfortune, the island of Porchesia disappeared into the depths of the sea. Never before had an entire nation been abolished by the click of a mouse.”
~ Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 398
“false info”
~ Danny on Porchesia

Porchesia was a small Mediterranean island-nation, situated across from Syria and Lebanon and considered to be a Lebanese-affiliated territory. Alas, due to a cruel and unusual click of the mouse, it no longer exists. The fate of the island was decided by one named only as 'Danny' who, in one fell swoop, wiped out the whole island, ordered groceries online, and watched videos on YouTube.

edit Paradise

Imagine, if you please, sandy beaches, happy hour that stretches all throughout the day, scrumptious food, olive skinned women, tanned muscular men. Remember those days of bright blue water? The dolphins toying with you just off shore? Enormous pelicans? Nights filled with the staccato of Arabic music? Endless sky? Indigo sunsets?

They are no more.

The only place they now exist is within your head.

They were destroyed.

By Wikipedia.

edit Creation

Porches
Porchesia, heaven on earth

Tired from years of civil wars, Zionist invasions, and Syrian despots, a group of the Levant's Elite gathered - intellectuals, scientists, ex-military leaders. Workers, models. House wives, miners, men of the cloth, men of the bathrobe. People of thought. People of matter. People of might. They all left, seeking for a better place to live the American Lebanese dream.

edit Liberté, égalité, fraternité

Based on the French values of Freedom, Equality and Fraternity, the now self-named Porchesians created a liberal democracy where all men and women, young and old, pretty and prettier, are made equal. No one would reign over his brother, sister or lover, unless specifically asked to do so while engrossed in a sexual act.

No currency was needed. All shall be taken care of. They feasted on the fish, the poultry, the seeds, the fruit. Paradise, did we say?

We did.

edit And what of the contact with the outside world, you say?

Sporadic at best. A few tourists, a few entrepreneurs, some retired third world dictators et al. Glorious solitude, heaven on earth.

It was grand.

It was glorious.

It was a popular destination for VE members, always on their annual outing on 15th of July.

It was a glitter on Earth's dusty existence.

And then,

It was wiped from existence by Them.

edit The Wikipedia Holocaust

Wikicaust
Orbis terrarum est mei, etiamnunc non satis
“I, a Wikipedian admin, by the power invested in me by King Jimbo I, hereby declare this island-nation as null and void. Mors ultima linea rerum est
~ Danny on Porchesia's final verdict

On September 30, 2006, the power that be, also known as the Wikipedious Adminatii, decided that such a serene place, such a paradise, such a benevolent form of existence, was a cosmic paradox - and must be wiped clean from earth's blackboard.
And so, with the punch of the mouse's left button, Porchesia was no more.

No more. Wiped from existence like a speck of dirt on the Queen's Rolls Royce.

edit Denial

Following the outrage regarding the destruction of the peaceful nation, Wikipedia officials claimed that no such place existed. Outcries by various UN agencies, the Lebanese government and helpless relatives, were to no avail. Nothing came across the gap of Wikipedia's colossal indifference.
Porchesia was no more.
No more.

“For ten glorious months, 354,897 men, women, and children lived harmoniously on Porchesia, a jewel in the treasure box that was the Mediterranean. Not a word was heard from them; not a grudge was held. Then, they of whom we shall not speak ruthlessly expunged it with the simple click of a computer mouse. Do not feel sorry for these people, for neither have they existed, nor the island they lived on. Or did they? Perhaps, or not; we may never know.”
~ Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 399

edit See also

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