<div style="margin-left: 60px;">For those ''without'' comedic tastes, the <choose><option>[[Scientists|so-called experts]]</option><option>[[Daily Mail|so-called experts]]</option><option>[[New York Times|so-called experts]]</option></choose> at [[Wikipedia]] '''do not''' have an article about '''''[[Wikipedia:Porchesia|Porchesia]]'''''.</div>
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{{Q|My friend went to [[Porchesia]], and I expected to get a lousy T-shirt and say: ''My friend went to Porchesia and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt...'' But he never came back....|Anonymous}}
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{{qNL|But later there occurred violent edit wars and trolls; and in a single moment of utter misfortune, the island of Porchesia disappeared into the depths of the sea. Never before had an entire nation been abolished by the click of a mouse.|Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 398}}
<div style="margin-left: 60px;">Perhaps you think more information about '''''the Porchesian Holocaust''''' would be available from the [[Cabal|so-called experts]] at [[Wikipedia]]. How pathetically, desperately wrong you would be.</div>
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<div style="clear: right; float: right">{{Listen|filename=Porchesia.mp3|title= The Porchesian Holocaust |description=Uncyclopedia has an audio version of this article.}}</div>
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{{Q|My friend went to [[Porchesia]], and I expected to get a lousy T-shirt and say: ''My friend went to Porchesia and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.'' But he never came back.|Anonymous}}
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{{Q|But later there occurred violent edit wars and trolls; and in a single moment of utter misfortune, the island of Porchesia disappeared into the depths of the sea. Never before had an entire nation been abolished by the click of a mouse.|Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 398}}
'''Porchesia''' was a small Mediterranean island-nation, situated across from [[Syria]] and [[Lebanon]] and considered to be a Lebaneseaffiliated territory. Alas, due to cruel and unusual click of the mouse, it no longer exists. The fate of the island was decided by one named only as 'Danny' who, in one fell swoop, wiped out the whole island along with ordering his groceries online and watching videos on [[YouTube]].
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'''Porchesia''' was a small [[Mediterranean]][[island]]-[[nation]], situated across from [[Syria]] and [[Lebanon]] and considered to be a Lebanese-affiliated territory. Alas, due to a cruel and unusual click of the [[mouse]], it no longer exists. The fate of the island was decided by one named only as 'Danny' who, in one fell swoop, wiped out the whole island,ordered groceries online, and watched videos on [[YouTube]].
==Paradise==
==Paradise==
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Imagine, if you please, sandy beaches, cocktails-happy-hour that stretches all throughout the day, scrumptious food, olive skinned women, tanned muscular men. Remember those days of bright blue water? The dolphins toying with you just off shore? Enormous pelicans? Nights filled with the staccato of Arabic music? Endless sky? Indigo sunsets?
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Imagine, if you please, sandy beaches, happyhour that stretches all throughout the day, scrumptious food, olive skinned women, tanned muscular men. Remember those days of bright blue water? The dolphins toying with you just off shore? Enormous pelicans? Nights filled with the staccato of Arabic music? Endless sky? Indigo sunsets?
They are no more.
They are no more.
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==Creation==
==Creation==
[[Image:Porches.png|thumb|left|450px|Porchesia, heaven on earth]]
[[Image:Porches.png|thumb|left|450px|Porchesia, heaven on earth]]
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Tired from years of [[civil war]]s, [[Israel|Zionist]] invasions, and Syrian despots, a group of the Levant's Elite gathered - intellectuals, scientists, ex-military leaders. Workers, models. House wives, miners, men of the cloth, men of the bathrobe. People of thought. People of matter. People of might. They all left, seeking for a better place to live the <s>American</s> Lebanese dream. And they found it, and their little paradise, called ''Porchesia''.
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Tired from years of [[civil war]]s, [[Israel|Zionist]] invasions, and Syrian despots, a group of the Levant's Elite gathered - intellectuals, scientists, ex-military leaders. Workers, models. House wives, miners, men of the cloth, men of the bathrobe. People of thought. People of matter. People of might. They all left, seeking for a better place to live the <s>American</s> Lebanese dream.
==Liberté, égalité, fraternité==
==Liberté, égalité, fraternité==
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Based on the French values of ''Freedom, Equality and Fraternity'', the now self-named ''Porchesians'' created a Liberal democracy, where all men and women, young and old, pretty and
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Based on the [[enemas|French]] values of ''Freedom, Equality and Fraternity'', the now self-named ''Porchesians'' created a [[liberal]][[democracy]] where all men and women, young and old, pretty and prettier, are made equal. No one would reign over his brother, sister or lover, unless specifically asked to do so while engrossed in a sexual act.
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prettier, are made equal. No one shall reign over his brother, sister or lover, unless specifically asked to do so while engrossed in a sexual act.
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No currency is needed. All shall be taken care of. They feasted on the fish, the poultry, the seeds, the fruit. Paradise, did we say?
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No currency was needed. All shall be taken care of. They feasted on the fish, the poultry, the seeds, the fruit. Paradise, did we say?
We did.
We did.
==And what of the contact with the outside world, you say?==
==And what of the contact with the outside world, you say?==
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Sporadic at best. A few tourists, a few entrepreneurs, some retired third world dictators et al. Glorious solitude, heaven on earth.
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Sporadic at best. A few tourists, a few entrepreneurs, some retired third world dictators et al. Glorious solitude, heaven on earth.
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It was grand.
It was grand.
It was glorious.
It was glorious.
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It was a popular destination for [[Cybernations|VE]] members, always on their annual outing on 15th of July.
It was a glitter on Earth's dusty existence.
It was a glitter on Earth's dusty existence.
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And then,
And then,
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It was wiped from existence by [[wikipedia|them]].
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It was wiped from existence by [[wikipedia|Them]].
[[Image:Wikicaust.png|thumb|450px|right|'''''Orbisterrarumestmei,etiamnunc non satis''''']]
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{{Q|I, a Wikipedian admin, by the power invested in me by [[Jimbo Wales]], hereby declare this island-nation as null and void. '''Orbisterrarumestmei,etiamnunc non satis'''|Wikipedian Admin|Porchesia's final verdict}}
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{{Q|I, a Wikipedian admin, by the power invested in me by [[Jimbo Wales|King Jimbo I]], hereby declare this island-nation as null and void. '''Morsultimalinearerumest'''|[[Wikipedia:User:Danny|Danny]]|Porchesia's final verdict}}
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On September 30th, 2006 - the power that be, also known as the ''Wikipedious Adminatii'' has decided that such a serene place, such a paradise, such a benevolent form of existence, is a cosmic paradox - and must be wiped clean from earth's blackboard. <br/>
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On September 30, [[2006]], the power that be, also known as the ''[[Sysop|Wikipedious Adminatii]]'', decided that such a serene place, such a paradise, such a benevolent form of existence, was a cosmic paradox - and must be wiped clean from earth's blackboard. <br/>
And so, with the punch of the mouse's left button, '''''Porchesia was no more'''''.
And so, with the punch of the mouse's left button, '''''Porchesia was no more'''''.
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==Denial==
==Denial==
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Followingtheoutragethefollowedthedestructionof the peaceful nation, Wikipediaofficialsclaimed''thatno such place exists''. Outcries by various [[UN]] agencies, the Lebanese government and helpless relatives, were to no avail. Nothing came across the gap of Wikipedia's colossal indifference. <br/>
Following the outrage regarding the destruction of the peaceful nation, Wikipedia officials claimed ''that no such place existed''. Outcries by various [[UN]] agencies, the Lebanese government and helpless relatives, were to no avail. Nothing came across the gap of Wikipedia's colossal indifference. <br/>
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''Porchesia was no more.''<br />
''No more''.
''No more''.
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{{QNL|For ten glorious months, 354,897 men, women, and children lived harmoniously on Porchesia, a jewel in the treasure box that was the Mediterranean. Not a word was heard from them; not a grudge was held. Then, [[Wikipedia|they of whom we shall not speak]] ruthlessly expunged it with the simple click of a computer mouse. Do not feel sorry for these people, for neither have they existed, nor the island they lived on. ''Or did they?'' Perhaps, or not; we may never know.|Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 399}}
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{{Q|For ten glorious months, 354,897 men, women, and children lived harmoniously on Porchesia, a jewel in the treasure box that was the Mediterranean. Not a word was heard from them; not a grudge was held. Then, [[Wikipedia|they of whom we shall not speak]] ruthlessly expunged it with the simple click of a computer mouse. Do not feel sorry for these people, for neither have they existed, nor the island they lived on. ''Or did they?'' Perhaps, or not; we may never know.|Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 399}}
Perhaps you think more information about the Porchesian Holocaust would be available from the so-called experts at Wikipedia. How pathetically, desperately wrong you would be.
Uncyclopedia has an audio version of this article.
“My friend went to Porchesia, and I expected to get a lousy T-shirt and say: My friend went to Porchesia and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt. But he never came back.”
“But later there occurred violent edit wars and trolls; and in a single moment of utter misfortune, the island of Porchesia disappeared into the depths of the sea. Never before had an entire nation been abolished by the click of a mouse.”
~ Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 398
Porchesia was a small Mediterraneanisland-nation, situated across from Syria and Lebanon and considered to be a Lebanese-affiliated territory. Alas, due to a cruel and unusual click of the mouse, it no longer exists. The fate of the island was decided by one named only as 'Danny' who, in one fell swoop, wiped out the whole island, ordered groceries online, and watched videos on YouTube.
Imagine, if you please, sandy beaches, happy hour that stretches all throughout the day, scrumptious food, olive skinned women, tanned muscular men. Remember those days of bright blue water? The dolphins toying with you just off shore? Enormous pelicans? Nights filled with the staccato of Arabic music? Endless sky? Indigo sunsets?
They are no more.
The only place they now exist is within your head.
Tired from years of civil wars, Zionist invasions, and Syrian despots, a group of the Levant's Elite gathered - intellectuals, scientists, ex-military leaders. Workers, models. House wives, miners, men of the cloth, men of the bathrobe. People of thought. People of matter. People of might. They all left, seeking for a better place to live the American Lebanese dream.
Based on the French values of Freedom, Equality and Fraternity, the now self-named Porchesians created a liberaldemocracy where all men and women, young and old, pretty and prettier, are made equal. No one would reign over his brother, sister or lover, unless specifically asked to do so while engrossed in a sexual act.
No currency was needed. All shall be taken care of. They feasted on the fish, the poultry, the seeds, the fruit. Paradise, did we say?
We did.
editAnd what of the contact with the outside world, you say?
Sporadic at best. A few tourists, a few entrepreneurs, some retired third world dictators et al. Glorious solitude, heaven on earth.
It was grand.
It was glorious.
It was a popular destination for VE members, always on their annual outing on 15th of July.
On September 30, 2006, the power that be, also known as the Wikipedious Adminatii, decided that such a serene place, such a paradise, such a benevolent form of existence, was a cosmic paradox - and must be wiped clean from earth's blackboard.
And so, with the punch of the mouse's left button, Porchesia was no more.
No more. Wiped from existence like a speck of dirt on the Queen's Rolls Royce.
Following the outrage regarding the destruction of the peaceful nation, Wikipedia officials claimed that no such place existed. Outcries by various UN agencies, the Lebanese government and helpless relatives, were to no avail. Nothing came across the gap of Wikipedia's colossal indifference. Porchesia was no more. No more.
“For ten glorious months, 354,897 men, women, and children lived harmoniously on Porchesia, a jewel in the treasure box that was the Mediterranean. Not a word was heard from them; not a grudge was held. Then, they of whom we shall not speak ruthlessly expunged it with the simple click of a computer mouse. Do not feel sorry for these people, for neither have they existed, nor the island they lived on. Or did they? Perhaps, or not; we may never know.”
~ Pirtros de Valc, The Porchesian Chronicles, Volume IV, Book ii, pg. 399
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