The Music Man
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Music Man was a magical hobo who came from down your way. Gifted with a seemingly endless talent for music, he would gaily proclaim his joy at being multi-talented in a war-cry that has now become a famous tool of propaganda amongst children: ensuring the Music Man's legacy survived long after his mysterious disappearance after several weeks of non-stop frolicking.
edit Early Life
Little is known of the early life of the Music Man, except that he lived in terrible poverty in someplace nobody cares about - the youngest in a litter of several dozen he found himself unable to get noticed and this led to him developing an obsession with music as a means of getting attention. After ditching out of school and joining a band of fellow musicians he toured the world and lived the lifestyle of a true rocker.
However the Music Man didn't last long in the cut-throat world of rock-music, getting into drugs and engaging in a bar-fight with Alvin and The Chipmunks - so he quit and found himself alone and homeless with nothing but his collection of old instruments to keep him happy.
edit It's Fucking Magical
After many years of wandering the Music Man finally found a purpose in life again when he came down your way - as if possessed by a higher power he began to declare loudly to the masses: "I am the Music Man, I come from down you way and I can play.." - "what can you play?" the crowds asked in awe- "..a piano!" the Music Man did decree, producing a piano out of places best not repeated and he did play, what did he play? the piano of course! But enough foolishness - the Music Man had the crowd under his sway and like a possessed Pied Piper he did dance across the streets amazing the townsfolk with his skills in the piano, the bagpipe, the big bass drum and even the tamborine. And so it continued for days on end - the Music Man dancing from town to town and filling the locals with equal quantities of delight, fear and annoyance as he sang his merry tune and shared his many talents with the world - that was until the sun set on the final day of the third week when the music suddenly ended.. the Music Man having vanished into thin air - to this day none know what happened or how and over the years most have come to believe that the whole incident was merely a leaking gas-pipe induced hallucination.
The legacy of the Music Man exists in the form of the ancient war-cry and his cult is still open despite some attempts to suppress it and discredit the events as mere fairytales: to those that believe there can be no end to the Music Man, he has not gone away.. he merely waits.