This is the bizarre tale of a misunderstood rock group called, quite appropriately, The Misunderstood. It all started when the Goddess Karma, who was bored with creating apocalypses, World Wars, tornados, the Chicago Cubs, and other amusing catastrophes, decided the time was just about right to really screw something up. In preparation for her grand plan, Karma first created the Little Richard, then Elvis, then Pat Boone, and then the British (music) Invasion. Then she created American Garages. And a bit before all of this, karma whipped up the Vietnam war just for the hell-of-it.
On the earth at the time were Rick-Steve-Glenn-Moe-Tony, and a tad before that, Karma had a little romp and created British BBC DJ John Peel. Karma then brought them all together, and Rick-Steve-Glenn-Moe-Tony partnered as a rock-band named "The Misunderstood", and DJ John became their Manager. At first a small band of rebels from Southern California's evil Inland Empire, by 1966 they moved over to "fab" London at John Peel's request. There they became Psychedelic Music icons, like, just now, over 40 years later.
In 'Swinging London' the band signed a three-word contract ("Fame and Fortune") with Phillips' Fontana Records, a company which had decided that The Misunderstood would be the the "New sound of 1967" payola campaign. RIGHT!? Wrong! Just when everything is 'peaches and cream', 'Ken and Barbie', 'Mason and Dixon', Karma shocked even herself by sending them a cordial invitation from the US Army Draft-board. The invite offered them three sweet-deal options: 1. Hell, 2. High Water, or 3.
musical fame Buzz-kill. However viewed -- three hell-of-a-choices.
Their singer, taking the 4th choice, plunged through myriad oodles of mayhem during 12 years of exile as a fugitive in the sanctimonious cess pool of India. The other band members were deemed "unbefitting for military service" due to pre-traumatic stress caused by separation from their mouth piece. The Goddess Karma had a big laugh over that, even going so far as to point out the joke to Shiva, who laughed even louder than Karma. "What a prank!" Shiva said, "let's get them in Uncyclopedia, 'k?"
Greatest lost band of the 60s!? Ha!
The band's reputation for outrageous performances and their recorded music were so terrible that the music-media and British groupies concluded that it must be bloody bonkers, and they railed on them profusely. So much so that now it is a standing joke in the Psychedelic Music scene that The Misunderstood were the "Greatest lost band of the 1960s", and that they single-bandedly proved the axiom: Luck supersedes talent.
“The Misunderstood were a band of immense talent. Their debut single, "I Can Take You to the Sun," is one of the most powerful and best psychedelic singles ever released!”
“This (I Can Take U 2 the Sun by The Misunderstood) is to my mind the best popular record that's ever been recorded!”
I Can Take U 2 the Sun is number 6 in "100 Greatest Psychedelic Records"
Before they were demolished by Goddess Karma, the band popped all the fuses and recorded a whopping seven classic Hippie/Psychedelic Music songs in the UK. Their rise to stardom in an allied country came at a bad time for the Lyndon Johnson administration--and to the horror and outrage of the United State's Embassy in London--because the band dared to suggest during interviews with the British media that "War sucks dead dicks!" Although the band recorded a total of seven songs in London, only seven of these songs are considered rock Classics. These are known as “The Seven Dwarfs” (because these songs eternally "dwarf" ALL Psychedelic Music competition, past-present-and-future; and because of the average height of the band members, see photo above):
- I'm Not Talkin (Happy )
- Children of the Sun (Sleepy)
- Who Do You Luv? - (Sneezy)
- I, Unseen - (Grumpy)
- My Mind - (Dopey)
- Find the Hidden Door (Doc)
- I Can Take You To The Sun (Bashful)
The copyright for all seven Misunderstood classics was traded by Michael Jackson to OJ just to hear the TRUTH; O.J. Simpson traded the copyright for all Misunderstood songs to Charlie Manson just to hear the TRUTH; and Manson traded the copyright for all Misunderstood songs to Santa just to hear the TRUTH. Santa then left the copyright for all the Misunderstood songs in Jack Bauer's Christmas stocking, so the current copyright holder is mothafuckin' Jack Bauer! And needless to say, NOBODY covers a Misunderstood song. The Kennedys once tried to play a Misunderstood song. Now they are the "Dead Kennedys."
The Misunderstood memorial in ROCK Heaven
After the band’s crushing fall into oblivion, Karma asked God (in the afterglow of one of their weekly trysts) to establish The Misunderstood memorial in Rock Heaven. God turned over, nuzzled Karma's neck, and cried out "Let there be Rock!". Heavenly angels immediately played the Misunderstood music, and God, looking pleased with himself (as he usually does, being an egotistical Deity), said “Bitchen!”. So to this day there is a Misunderstood memorial in heaven and only the sinless can witness its glory. And St. John (Peel) still plays "I Can Take You To The Sun" on his turntable over at cloud #52742210087966/12/Ee-DJ/BBC.
So it has come to pass that the test for a heavenly retreat rests with the ability to tell good music from bad. For all those who don’t dig The Misunderstood's music now go to Hell, where White Christmas, as sung by Pat Boone (with Dick Dale on session guitar), is played ad infinitum, interrupted at times by Yanni tunes and the infernal screeching of an endless duet between Bjork and Barry Manilow.
|So, there you have it. The ridiculous and almost too far-fetched truth of a band, who really were meant to change the world of rock, yet ended up with not enough change in their pocket to eat. The story of The Misunderstood is a true rock ‘n’ roll shambles that makes Spinal Tap seem more boring that a 74-minute bass solo!|
- Pink Floyd's Syd Barrett used to bring a 'note pad' to Misunderstood concerts.
- The Misunderstood's BIG Fuck-up teaches: NEVER sacrifice luck for talent and ALWAYS pee into, and not away from, the wind.
- We don't know who invented wireless phones, but The Misunderstood pioneered playerless guitars when they used non-stop continual musical feedback by leaning 3 guitars against the amps and let them play on "auto pilot" as the players left the stage for a break.
- We don't know who invented LIGHT, but The Misunderstood invented the live-music light show by plugging a motorcycle tail-light into the extension output of each amp and finding out that it plays with the music. Quite something to see in a dark room, as witnessed by mobs in Hollywood and London in 1966, and by God and his lovely mistress Karma even now..
- The Yardbirds whom Rolling Stone Magazine called "The British Misunderstood."