The Lightbulb joke

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The Lightbulb joke is an ancient, time-honored method of communication relying on one basic principle: One assumes that there is a lightbulb somewhere that is dead. One asks to their companion how many people of a certain group would it take to change it, and the second party answers as best they can off the top of their head. Over time, it has been found in philosophical texts, political debates, religious sermons, blogs and tabloids.

The first recorded instance of a lightbulb joke is found in the Bible, in the book of Genesis, chapter 18, verses 20-24:

"And the Lord came down from Heaven and said to Moses, 'Moses, how many Philistines does it take to change a lightbulb?' And Moses answered the Lord, 'Lord, what's a lightbulb?' And the Lord replied to Moses, '30,000, Moses.' To which Moses answered 'Oh. Thanks.'"

edit Modern examples of the lightbulb joke

Q: How many Wikipedians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Duh, would this change be factually accurate? What's the history of a lightbulb? Oh no, do I need a citation here?

Q: How many Uncyclopedians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Dumbass! Everybody knows that when a lightbulb matures and leaves it's nest, it changes itself!

Q: How many Oscar Wilde characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A:

“My dear, I meant for that light to be out! The company I keep is so dreadfully ugly, yet their conversations are so riveting, that it seems to be the best of both worlds!”
~ Oscar Wilde on the lightbulb joke

Q: How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I fucked your mother last night. Cunt.

Q: How many J.D. Salingers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Well, once he thought about changing a lightbulb, but then he thought about all of the phonies out there, all changing their lightbulbs, and it made him kind of sad, so then he sat in the dark.

Q: How many Sean Conneries does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Your mothersh a whore.

Q: How many Boring People does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One.

Q: AAA AAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAA AA AAAA AA AAAAAA A AAAAAAAAA?

A: AAAAA A!

Q: How many Philip Glasses does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One to change the lightbulb, the lightbulb, the one to change the lightbulb bulb bulb bulb.

Q: How many redundant people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One, but he does it several times.

Q: How many redundant people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One, but he does it several times.

Q: How many redundant people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One, but he does it several times.

Q: How many redundant people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One, but he does it several times.

Q: How many Romanians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Just one, but the way they did it was an insult to the Romanian way of changing lightbulbs.

Q: How many weapons that don't exist does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Provided you're using the Gorilla with Razor-Sharp Toes, one, but he might break a few of them.

Q: How many Fanfiction.net writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Aeris and Rei Ayanami, provided they're having sex while they do it.

Q: How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Three, because they're greedy!

Q: How many Dada does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Peninsula.

Q: How many cows does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Two, if you got 'em.

Q: How many Fred Phelpses does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. God hates lightbulbs.

Q: How many Amish does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 'Tis well one should do't in a day's work.

Q: How many Dr. Seusses does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Just one, but he will not change it in a boat, he will not change it on a goat! He will not change it far and wide, he will not change it as a bride! He will not change it on a beach, he will not change it with a Sneech! He will not change it here nor there. . . In fact, he will not change one anywhere!

Q: How many Micheal Phelps' does it take to change a light bulb?

A:We'll let you know when hes done eating babies.

Q: How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Five, one to change the lightbulb and four to write lyrics.

OR

A: None. They'd all rather sit in the dark and cry

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Five, one to screw in the lightbulb, and four to talk about how much better Neal Peart would have did it.

Russian Reversal: In soviet russia, lightbulb changes YOU!!

Russian Reality: You still change the lightbulb. Then you hold a ceremony to throw away the old one.

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