The Leek Bun

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Today, I decided to go to the local fast food joint, and see about this absolutely dandy new menu they released today. Being the fast food guru I am, I decided to see if those fucking kids knew what was on this reformed 'healthy' menu. I drove up to the drive thru, after waiting for 10 minutes because the driver infront of me couldn't decide on whether they wanted cream or milk in their coffee. Give me a fucking break.

I finally drive up to the speaker, taking a gander on the screen of the order for the person ahead of me. $1.23 for a small coffee, no cream or milk. For the love of...

This menu was just asking to be abused, being it the first day of use. This took forever to do (must've been a newbie employee I had to deal with), but I'm going to recount it for you, just so I can vent about my experience. Anyways, without further adieu, this starts the damned story over the leek bun.

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Getting my car into that drive-thru was a bitch...

As I peer at the menu, which has been conveniently changed overnight, I look at the new selections. Some random crap about this veggie burger, a more expensive milkshake, and something called a Big Mopper. All of a sudden, my eyes were caught on a little new addition to the menu...a choice of buns...something I just could not resist.

It was then, a few scratches were heard in the speaker and a teenage voice was heard.

"Yeah, welcome to Funky Burger, home of the $2.99 Super Special, can I take ya order?"

I kind of sat there in my car for a second, thinking of what exactly to say. How can I go about testing this kid of his abilities? It took me a minute to think...

"I'll have...uhhhh......."

My eyes were mesmerized by all the fancy colors of that menu with the various items of food...$4.49 for a large drink? What the fuck is this, a movie theater?

"Okay, I'll have a number one..."

There was a slight silence, I wonder if this kid is new?

"The Large Moc meal"

I could hear some clapping of keys on the employee's cash. Come on and acknowledge me kid, that's part of the job.

"Uh, fries with that?"

Now the fun can begin! Look at all the new selections that can be placed with your combo! I looked at the selections, and chose one that the kid might not know.

"Can I have the garlic toast on it instead?"
"Uh, that's extra cost, sir."


"It says it can be substituted at no extra cost."

Now here comes some more silence, probably checking with his manager or something.

"Okay, uh, what about your drink?"

Oh! So many choices, what to choose?


I'm such a bitch.

"Anything else, sir?"

Now here it comes, he didn't ask me if I wanted a different bun. What if I hated white bread and wanted whole wheat? Time to correct this guy!

"Uh, what about the bun selections?"

More silence, I think I can hear the manager in the background. So far, this order has taken 2 minutes, and I got some random guy in an SUV behind me in a fursuit.

"White or whole wheat, sir?"

I looked at the menu, getting pretty pissed off. He missed one bun, I looked back at the speaker.


More silence.


I stepped out of the car slowly, the guy in the SUV behind me getting curious. I walked up, slowly, to the speaker. Standing beside it, I took a huge deep breath, and yelled...


...yet again, more silence...

"Uh...okay...your order comes to $7.63. Come up to the window."

I could hear the manager in the back, now even more fun begins! I wonder he knows about all these new menu changes! I get back into my car, that fursuitee behind me getting very pissed. I drive up to the window to pay and pick up my order. Rather than a kid, I see some older guy, must be the manager. He opens up the window.

"You want your leek bun? HERE'S YOUR LEEK BUN!"

I watched in awe as he reached back, bun in hand, as he threw it out over my car. As that mesmerizing brown pack of baked dough travelled through the air, I got out of my car. I leaped over the hood, but it was no good. The bun landed on the ground before I could catch it.

I stared at that little bun on the ground, covered in road salt and dirt...

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