The Joy of Killing
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“It's your world, your massacre, and you can kill as many people as you want.”
“This man is truly the pinnacle of the saying, "Speak softly and carry a big stick."”
“Well what the hell? Let me get my gun and go downtown!”
The Joy of Killing was an American half-hour television show which began on January 11, 1983, and was hosted by Bob Ross also known as "Domination Bob" that taught viewers how to completely devastate a landscape in thirty minutes.
Each half-hour show begins with Domination Bob standing beside a selection of weaponry in front of a black background.
He would happily select a weapon, and explain its use to the viewer.
As Domination Bob graphically runs the colors across the screen, he would turn a Vietnamese Prison Camp with Enemy Base Blue, and an elementary school, into an unimaginable fiery landscape.
His efforts were accompanied by a soothing monologue about the "happy explosions" and the explosion's "little friends", the "happy flying body parts" that he was creating with his munitions.
Ross was famous for his use of signature colors, such as C-4 Grey, Charlie Yellow, Spurting Ventricle Red, Agent Orange, Olive Drab, Napalm Char Black, and Phosphorus White. By mixing these colors, Domination Bob created scene after scene of shrapnel strewn landscape.
An agent provocateur, Domination Bob was not beyond pointing out that his viewers couldn’t afford to lose control of their “happy, bloody, little worlds.”
“See that Charlie village over there under the camouflage netting?" Domination Bob once said, in his ever calm and comforting voice. "Let’s load up with a dollop of Agent Orange and lob it, right over here. There; can't you just hear Mr. and Mrs. Charlie screaming in agony. But you could also use a bazooka, and get the same results.”
Domination Bob always reminded the viewers that little mishaps were bound to happen when creating a scene of chaos. He frequently stated that there were no such things as "civilian casualties" or "collateral damage" and preferred to call them "happy accidents."
Being a Viet Nam veteran, Domination Bob brought a special realism and familiarity with both his weapons and the canvass. This familiarity was not lost on the viewers, who anxiously anticipated each new episode and the heartfelt destruction it would bring.
The painting to the left is an example of Domination Bob's "pretty little trees on fire" technique that has become popular in recent years, however the lack of several dead squirrels or other rabid creatures has left numerous fans disenfranchised by Domination Bob's lack of dead lawn rodents.
At the end of the show, Domination Bob would give a little wave by saying "So from all of us here, I'd like to wish you happy killing, and God bless, my friend", and then the closing credits roll with the show's theme song "Interlude" by Larry Owens.
edit Global Domination
Later, the show went world-wide, when the show invaded Panama in 1989. It was an instant success, with even Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega barring himself inside his home so as not to be disturbed when watching the show. In 1991, Ross took his show to Kuwait, where its popularity grew. The market in neighbouring Iraq was limited, however, until 2002 when it was redistributed with great success. The show then went to Bosnia in 1992. After this, the Joy of Killing cultivated a huge international following, with versions airing even in remote African villages.
edit Apocalypse Now
The show came to an abrupt end on July 4, 1995. While airing his Fourth of July episode, Ross was unable to escape from his own zeal, when the cluster-bomb airstrike he called in for the finale was off-target, accidentally bringing to an end one of the most beloved and violent television shows ever to air. What remained of Bob (his gallbladder and afro) was preserved in the Smithsonian Museum of Death and Destruction in Seattle.
Bob Ross was often criticised for his simplistic technique. His fire-on-fire method was looked down upon by those who used the traditional method of fire-wait-fire. In 1991, his Joy of Killing product line was rejected by Jihad-Mart, who cited that his explosive violence against Muslims was in clear violation of the laws set forth in the Koran. Despite this, his techniques have inspired millions to take up arms and experience The Joy of Killing for themselves.
edit The Game
The Joy of Killing is currently a planned title for the Nintendo Wii and DS. Speculated to take advantage of Nintendo's unique control style, Bob Ross: The Joy of Killing will put you in the axe wielding body of your hero as he hacks and slashes perfect landscapes into grotesque hells of rock and debauchery.