The Horrors

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“The Horrors are to music what herpes was to Mick Jagger”
~ Plato
“Faris Badwan's lyrics are an inspiration to all!”
~ Oscar Wilde
“A seen his nose come in then 5 minutes later a seen him”
~ A Geordie on Faris Badwan

The Horrors
The Horrors, 2011
Background information
Origin Southend on Sea, England
Genre(s) Post-punk revival, shoegaze, garage punk (early)
Years active 2005–present
Label(s) XL Recordings
Website Official website

Fragrant Yet Sad Man (formerly Batman)
Joshua Gayward
Don't Have a Cow, Man
Grease Webb
Brooseph Brogeon
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to The Horrors.

The Horrors are a band from Southend on Sea, England formed in 2005. Their debut Strange House, was released in 2007 and reached number six hundred and thirty-seven on the UK Albums Chart, their second album Primary Colours was released in 2009 and did fared slightly better at number one bundred and twenty-five in the UK. In July 2011 The Horrors' third album Skying was released, and reached number 5 in the UK album chart. Science is still at a loss to explain this.

edit Band history

edit Origins (2005 - 2006)

The Horrors have their origins in the early 2000s where they became interested in obscure rare demos and garish paisley shirts. During trips to London and on the Southend circuit, Rhys "Cockroach" Webb met Fairly Badman (Faris Rotter) and Tom "Woody Allen" Cowan (Tomethy Furse) through their shared interests in '60s blah blah psychedelic rare demos and love of '60s and '70s interior design including but not exclusive to paisley sofas (Bassist Rhys Webb likes to play practical jokes by camouflaging himself as them and jumping out at people when they don't expect it) and multi-purpose curtain shirts. In 2005 the three formed a band with Joshua Hayward (Joshua von Grimm) and Broseph Spurgeon (Coffin Joe). Their first rehearsal consisted of two covers: Kylie Minogues' "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" and Barry Manilo's "White Christmas" - the latter would later find itself as track one on the band's debut album.

edit Welcome To Rhys' House (2007-2008)

Having released their debut album "Welcome To Rhys' House" in March 2007, The Horrors played a world tour to promote it. The band played an NME Awards show in 2008 with Crystal Castles, Ulterior and These New Puritans, and supported The Sonics on 23 March, their last London show until their appearance at Bethnal Green's Rich Mix on 23 May of the following year. On January 18, Counting in Fives, a documentary of the band's 2007 tour of the USA, was unveiled at the Sundance Film Festival. The Horrors had made it, or had they? (in case you were wondering, they hadn't)

edit We Don't Wear Primary Colours (2009 - 2010)

At the end of 2007, The Horrors announced the forthcoming recording of a new album. The album was produced by the band, Craig Silvey, Geoff Barrow of Portishead and music video director Chris Cunningham, although the band don't like to namedrop. Recording took place in Bath during the summer of 2008. The only release from the band between the June 2007 single "She's Probably a 9 on a Scale of 1-10" and the new material in 2009 was a cover of Suicide's "Shadazz". A few weeks before the new album's release, a number of songs from the album were leaked. The album's first single, "A Sailor Went To Sea Sea Sea", was released as a digital download-only single on 17 March 2009. A music video for the song, directed by Douglas Hart (former bassist for The Jesus and Mary Chain, although the band don't like to namedrop), was also posted on the band's website on the same day. The second album "We Don't Wear Primary Colours" was officially released on 4 May 2009 to critical acclaim and reached #25 on the UK Albums Chart. The single "Who Can Say" was released on 7" vinyl one week later. Primary Colours was nominated for the 2009 Mercury Prize. NME later awarded the album first place in the 50 Best Albums of 2009. After the tour finished Joshua Hayward single handedly built their studio (while the others spent time spinning discs at their own groovy club nights) so the band could record at obscure indie hours that you probably haven't heard of.


  1. Why Am I So Damn Ugly? - 4.50
  2. How Long Rhys Has Been Alive - 2.49
  3. Who Can Say How Much Longer This Band Will Be Around? - 3.41
  4. Do You Remember (An Ode to Pulp) - 3.28
  5. Assorted Herbs, Lemon and Sage - 4.25
  6. Strawberry Fields Forever (RIP John Lennon, Forever In Our Hearts) - 4.42
  7. I Really Need To Poo - 7.06
  8. I Can't Control My Bladder - 3.27
  9. We Don't Wear Primary Colours - 3.01
  10. A Sailor Went To Sea Sea Sea - 7.58

edit Skiing (2011 - Present)

In April 2010, singer Fairy Batman announced on their official forum that the band had already started working on their third album, to be called Skiing which had been confirmed by Zane Lowe to be out on the 11th of July, and have been in the studio for some months. A track that may be included on the new album, "Endless Poo", was first unveiled at Latitude Festival in July 2010. It was later performed at Poland's Off Festival and Belgium's Lokerse Feesten in August 2010. In February 2011, after rumours that the album had been delayed, Famous Bratman announced via their official forum that the album would be released for July 2011.

The band were announced to be headlining the Festival Republic Stage at the Reading and Leeds festivals in August 2011, and they have been chosen to perform at the ATP I'll Be Your Mirror festival curated by ATP & Portishead in September 2011 in Asbury Park, New Jersey. The first single off Skying, titled "Still Making Fucking Music With These Jerks, This Album Better Sell Well", premiered on the 24 May on Zane Lowe's BBC Radio 1 show. On Monday 4 July, they started streaming the album on their website


  1. Craving Cocaine - 4.31
  2. You Said You Had Puppies In That Van - 4.46
  3. Put Some Damn Clothes On, You're Transparant! - 4.17
  4. Endless Poo - 5.10
  5. A Really Bad Song Title - 4.51
  6. Still Making Fucking Music With These Jerks, This Album Better Sell Well - 5.21
  7. Shabby Horse Green Eyes (She'll Buck-Buck-Buckaroo!)
  8. Moving Further Away Because No One Likes Me - 8.34
  9. Monica Gems - 4.28
  10. Even Though It's Not Possible, The Water's On Fire - 7.50

edit Criticism


Bassist Rhys Webb dresses up as a sofa to confuse fellow bandmates.

The band has found itself many a time prey to criticism about their lyrics. One critical blogger has said of 'Skiing', "Overall the album isn't that bad, albeit the backing vocals on Monica Gems sounding so stupidly warped that John Lennon is spinning in his grave and the ridiculous lyrics of Endless Poo detracting from the overall quality." Many more critics have joined in on this almost cult-like mocking of Horror's lyrics, one saying "Monica Gems cannot be serious. If I owned the shop which the title has undoubtedly been taken from I would burn it down, claim the insurance and move to a small village in South East Asia where nobody could ever trace me back to that song, that's how cringy it is." Despite the criticism The Horrors maintain their fighting spirit, singer Amos Budmin famously saying in an interview in the Independent "I know everyone succumbs to the odd cliché and everyone writes a rotten lyric, but I never like them to seem too planned out or pretentious".

edit Side projects

Finding success in side project with one armed Canadian soprano Rachel Zeffira singer Farty Badminton has already gone on to form a Simple Minds tribute band with Horrors bassist Rice Weebs, synth player Woody Allen, guitarist Josh Hairward and drummer Broseph Broogeon. Their first single "Still Life" was first played on the 24th May on Zane Lowe's radio show. On July 22nd Bo Diddley's family announced that before he had died, the late (and great) Bo had been working on "The Webblers", a one man tribute band performing bass covers of Rhys Webb's work in a latino style. Although development was interrupted by Bo's untimely and tragic death, it has been rumoured that Webb himself (with three side projects of his own under his belt) will be continuing Bo's dream.

Despite box office disaster You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger synth player Woody Allen is determined to produce a film that he claims "will take the movie world by force" before the next Horror's album is released. Who knows what could happen next in the mad world of Woody Allen? Maybe he'll make a film that isn't a direct imitation of Manhattan. Ha, who are we kidding?

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