Greater Good

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British and American troops assisting locals after invading Iraq for the Oil Greater Good.

“It is quite redundant, really. There is nothing greater than myself.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Greater Good

Sometimes, when a community faces problems, the leaders of said community may have to make tough choices in the name of something often referred to as the Greater Good. Despite numerous attempts by social behaviourists, Ph.Ds and various linguists, researchers, clerics and scientists, no-one has been able to quite determine what the concept of Greater Good entails. Some have suggested that only political leaders are allowed such information after an initiation to the fifth level of leadership in the Political Order of Rambling Nimrods (P.O.R.N.)

edit Definition of Greater Good

In order for something to happen in the name of Greater Good, it is often considered to be imperative, that something rather unpleasant and often quite lethal will happen to someone in order for the Greater Good clause in the obscure P.O.R.N. leadership manual to take effect. Though numerous attempts have been made to obtain such a manual for research purposes, only random pages on completely unrelated topics such as "Press Statement Templates When Caught With Your Pants Down With The Office Intern for Dummies" and "How To: Funding Wars At The Expense Of Education" which though it does come close, can not be considered to be technically in the best interests of the Greater Good, but in the interests of the Weapons Industry, War Mongers and Just About Everyone But School Children.

edit History of the Greater Good

One of the first recorded cases of a leader having to make a tough call in the name of Greater Good was during the Great Biblical Flood in (insert appropriate year here) when Noah chose to strike dinosaurs off the passenger list in fear of the Triceratops poking a hole in the hull of the Ark. Noah has repeatedly been told off since then for the extinction of one of the few creatures that can be considered to be suitable pets for allergic children.

Geneticists are attempting to recreate dinosaurs in the hopes of gaining their own niche in the pet market. The most recent of these experiments on Isla Nubar was deemed a moderate success. So in the overall view, Noah decision may yet prove to be a profitable one for the genetic engineering community.

edit Motivations for decisions in the name of Greater Good

  • "It is for the greater good" ~Everyone
  • "It means that I'll have oxygen for ten more minutes" ~Famous Astronaut's last words
  • "It was to stop him from continually humping the toy penguin..." -Dog owner on neutering the dog
  • "The Force was not strong with him. Now, Admiral #458, let's go destroy the rebels..." ~Darth Vader
  • "...I'm not sure where Osama is, so let's bomb that green blotch on the map next..." ~President Bush

edit See Also

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