The Drummer

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The Drummer is noted for being the un-notable part of many notable bands. Most of this is due to the fact he sits way back in the back of the stage where he is barely visible, and if he is seen, he is often mistaken for a piece of stage equipment such as a spare microphone or a cardboard box. When he's hanging around with the band, he is often mistaken for a roadie or a fan who's on drugs. When on the street people don't make eye contact with him and will sometimes say, "I don't have any change," without being asked.

He spends a lot of his time and professional career hanging out with The Keyboard Player.

The Drummer

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Name THE The Drummer
Born June?/ whatever/ about 1950's I guess
Died There was the time his heart stopped, but they brought him back.
Occupation Hitting hollow, inanimate objects with sticks
Spouse P. J. Soles (1978-1983)
Meg Ryan (1991-2001)
Kimberly Buffington (2004-present)



edit History

edit Sex

He always seems to get mostly cast-offs from the lead singer and lead guitar player. Sometimes a hot mom will do. Still, the drummer never got the high quality poon the guys on the front half of the stage got. It turns out the line "I'm the band's Drummer," doesn't work, often frightening women away or, in some cases, getting the drummer in question reported to the police.

edit Drugs

This is what all band members do when not having sex or rock'n rolling. Since he's getting less sex than anyone in the band but The Keyboard Player he's got more time for drugs.

edit Rock & Roll

Drummers are most notable in Rock & Roll music, where they are allowed to play the loudest. In some bands, such as Led Zeppelin, the drummer is the only audible part of the entire band, making the music extremely uninteresting. Drummers can be sorted into two categories: drummers with superhuman abilities (including the ability to play drum solos that can last anywhere from 2 minutes to infinity) and drummers with absolutely no talent whatsoever, who consider it an impressive feat to hold a steady beat for more than 4 minutes without screwing up once.

edit Bands

The Drummer has forgettably performed in a number of bands not limited to the following:

edit Trivia

Unknownst to most, The Drummer usually plays another instrument. Just not very well

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