The Chuckle Brothers
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“To you! ”
“To me! ”
Paul and Benedict Chuckle, better known as The Chuckle Brothers, are the world's most successful deranged brother comedy double act ever to have graced God's green earth. In actual fact, Barry Chuckle is Paul Chuckles father and they survive on the love of performing racial hate crimes. Their famous trademark catch phrase "to me, to you" was coined during the Brother's violent spit roasting of their sweet old Grandfather Chuckle. The original phrase was "to me" "to you... UGH, CHRIST! I HAVE A PAIR OF FALSE TEETH HANGING FROM MY BALLS!". However, this was seen as a rather cumbersome mouthfull to ever have caught on in the playground and the phrase was duly pared down into the line known and loved today. Claiming it to be a political stance, the Brothers decline to wear typical pedestrian garb, instead wearing outrageously cutting edge haute couture such as pink farahs and yellow diamond pattern jumpers made exclusively from a rare Argiope argentata form of spider silk (it is said that one pair of Barry's Y-Fronts is made from over 500,000 spiders alone at a cost of £3000 a pair, despite this, Barry frequently flaunts such extravagance by skidding himself on purpose during interviews just to demonstrate how elite and wealthy he is).
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[edit] Guest Stars
Some of the more notable guests on the programme Chucklevision include:
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Rupert the Bear
- David Duchovny
- Big Bird
- Tilly the dog
- Barry Scott
- Nolbert-o Stilan-o
- Bobby Davro
- Adolf Hitler
- Joseph "No Nose" Stalin
- Ken D'odd
- Ken Dodd
- Ken D'odd's estranged penis, Arthur
- Gary Glitter
- Stephen Fry
- Dave Benson Phillips
- Milo from the Tweenies (For 23 seconds)
- Pope John Paul The Second (During the annual Chucklevision Catholicism Laugh Fest)
- Desmond Tutu
- Nelson Mandela
- Mel Gibson
- Rhona Cameron
- Eva Braun
- Tina Turners
- Oprah Winfreys Ass
[edit] Life Before Chucklevision
The name "Chucklevision" is in fact an anglicised version of the name of the French Hollywood (or 'Ollywood as it is known in France) mogul Jacques L. Visione. Jacques, Originally intending his brainchild to be for an American audience, modestly used his own name as the inspiration (though changing Jacques into the more American sounding Chuck). It was merely coincidence that the title therefore included the word "chuckle", as in the words of Visione "it was not intended to be funny", something which TV executives in America agreed, rejecting the concept flat-out and forcing Visione to take it to Britain. Here, Visione succeeding in getting it accepted by Andi Peters, who Visione fortuitously caught in the middle of one of his now notorious three-day coked-up benders with Ed the Duck, who was said to have found the concept "slammin'". In 1990 they both raped Lois Griffin and she produced their evil lovechild Stewie Griffin.
Unfortunately, by the time it reached production, Visione's vision was somewhat diluted from the original concept of "an absurdist critique of post-capitalist existence inspired by the ancient Greek myth of Sisyphus contemporised into a number of mood pieces with strong leanings towards Beckett and other post-Dadaist thinkers" as Visione puts so succinctly. However, instead of the intriguing partnership of Samuel L. Jackson and Brian Blessed as intended by Visione, the embarrassing two-some of Barry and Paul Chuckle were forced on Visione by BBC executives, their fortuitously apt second names being of little consolation to him, particularly having seen their audition tapes in which Paul and Barry mis-pronounced the word "the" several times. As the show slowly changed into the children's "comedy" show that it is known as today, Visione slid into a deep depression, and ended up committing suicide, running into a plate of glass being carried across the road by two builders, an incident later mocked by the Chuckle brothers themselves on one of their shows, to the theme of Benny Hill.
[edit] Achievements and "mishaps"
In 2001 Paul and Barry took every category available winning all the Oscars thanks to their movie Chucklevision:The Red Light District. Having not been nominated for best actor, Barry took the award for best actress after he repeatedly claimed to have no manhood. They then set their sights on the CBBC Awards in which they were confident they would sweep every trophy on offer as they were nominated in all categories. However, that night they only took one measly award home with them claiming the award for “Wasting the BBC's time!”. Taking an affront to this, they then proceeded to get up on stage and the two brothers began swearing violently at the audience and pointing accusingly at members of the audience. A quote from Barry on the stage was saying that CBBC stood for Cunts, Big Bastards and Cunts!. All the while, the events happening were being broadcast to millions of children around the UK. It became even more embarrassing when Paul fell on to the podium, which then fell off the stage and into the audience with him still on it. At this point Paul was heard to scream a short "FUCK!" Barry then began to undo his trousers, attempting to urinate into the crowd but were dragged from the stage by presenting hosts Kate Thornton and Michael Barrymore in a torrent of swear words. Paul said Gerroff me ye perve! and Barry made one final statement saying Fuck's ye all! They were eventually dragged of to the theme tune of Chucklevision. Later a representative of the two brothers explained that they were merely 'unwell'.
[edit] The Dark Years
After newspapers kept slagging them off about how crap Chucklevision was, Paul and Barry became depressed with Barry becoming a heroin addict and Paul developing his own addiction to laxatives. Barry was arrested for shroom dealing and was put into rehab and has recently come out clean. Paul was put into a mental home after his addiction made him a mental case, and was seen defecating out a high storey flat building. He was recently released from the mental home, under the false pretense of merely carrying out a character study. He continued his fecal related crime spree. wherever they were filming there would be reports of shit smeared on cars and faeces being flung at members of the public. Barry then commented on how often Paul retreated to the toilet with whole bottles of ExLax. "This addiction has to stop" Barry said to CBBC journalists "its costing us £300 a day and to be honest I'm fed up with the whole fucking thing."
[edit] Rwandan Genocide Episode
On 17th March 2009 website DawnOfTheJed.com ran an article reporting that the first episode in the new TV series would be set during the Rwandan castration. The BBC reportedly received several complaints before the article was tragically proven to be an obvious hoax.
[edit] Supermarket Sweep Shock
In October 2007 the Chuckle brothers appeared on the celebrity version of Dale Winton's Supermarket Sweep looking to raise money for their prize charity Free Perverts UK. Looking to raise in excess of £2000 Paul duly accepted to be the first contestant to do the world famous supermarket dash. However Paul was left red faced as by time the klaxon sounded to signal the end of his dash, his trolly was completely empty (except from the free video of the Chucklevision special Yorkshire Rippers he had found in the 100% free trolly). Paul repeatedly screamed during his turn 'What the hell am I supposed to do?!' on live TV as well. By the end of the debacle Dale Winton turned and said 'you said you knew the rules at the beginning darling'. However this was too much for Paul and he immediately cracked. Paul shouted 'DON'T CALL ME DARLING YOU GAY BASTARD' and suddenly went about kicking TV's favourite ponce. Blood spurted the camera and the live transmission was cut. Horrified viewers demanded an explanation and when they got it they were told that Winton had died from 'complications to his injuries'. All accusations towards Paul were unfortunately dropped.
[edit] ChuckleVision: The Animated Series
Paul and Barry decided to reinvent the ChuckleVision brand in new animated form. The BBC immediately commissioned the series because " the live action show really showed how pug ugly the brothers were".
Unfortunately, the series didn't reach the end of its tenure, as it was cancelled after poor viewing figures plummeted due to continual swearing. Also, BBC decided it was the best decision as viewers in Sweden accused the show of 'encouraging gay hatred'.
At this moment in time, there are no plans for any broadcasters to recommision the doomed series.
[edit] The Log Cabin
Escaping the police over 30 miles of wilderness the Chuckle brothers seeked refuge in an abandoned log cabin. There they found clothes and beds. For seven months they lived in peace waiting for the search to die down but the troubles didn't stop there. Seven months in Paul contracted cabin fever and wanted to eat Barry but Barry silenced him and Paul's human lust turned to sexual practices. Later in court Barry mentioned "Paul claimed that he had missed the warmth of a human's insides, at first I thought nothing of it but one night I walked into Paul's room to find him thrusting violently up and down on the bed butt naked with a gigantic erection, only then did I think somethings wrong. Then a few nights later I was fighting him off with a loo brush and I had to barricade myself in my room." Barry broke down in court and began to cry, Paul laughed and yelled, "This is hogwash! It wasn't a loo brush it was soap on a rope." Barry stood up and yelled bloody murder and was told to calm down. Barry then continued saying, "One night Paul forced his way through my barricade
Paul denied the accusations and was sentenced to a prison, too look at how close he was to going inside. Much to the disappointment of Barry Chuckle (The judge happened to be the "And no slacking" guy A.K.A the third brother, So he let Paul off with a slapped bum.)
[edit] X Factor
The two brothers reunited live on 2008's X-factor, saying sorry in front of 12 million viewers and claim to have over come the incidents that very nearly destroyed their careers. Audiences claimed that Paul said it with shifty eyes.
[edit] Upcoming Movie
The brothers are currently making a sequel to Chucklevision:The Red Light District called "Chucklevision:Fear and loathing in london" where they go to London to live the "Rotherham Dream".
[edit] Trivia
- The Brothers set up their own chain of brothels called The Chuckle Brothels!
- They belong to the Church Of Pish Drinkers
- The Chuckle Brothers are known as they are because they're not hip enough to be called anything among the lines of the LOL Brothers, LMAO Brothers, LMFAO Brothers or the LOLZ BROZ.
- The Chuckles were thrown out of the Tate Modern once for defecating into their hands and hauling the contents at the crowds.
- Chuckle-vision is also the name of an aggressive form of ocular cancer which affects the "Rotherham Lobe" of the brain.
- Paul, in fact, has owned seventeen emus, all of which he bred and ate over one consecutive week.
- One of their favourite hobbies is to rip up flags in front of that particular country's embassy.
- In their spare time, they go to the local special needs school and show the kids that they too can get paid for doing fuck all and acting like twats.
- They were once on the classic gameshow "3-2-1" and there were 4 of them.
- Paul and Barry used to have a CBBC game show called "To Me To You". It was as shit as it sounded.
- Barry was born inside an empty car hurtling towards an open beach. According to reports his father had bailed out of the car and left Barry's mother in the back seat giving birth. The car smashed into the waves crumpling the hood and throwing the Chuckle mother about like a ragdoll. Paramedics managed to save Barry but not the mother.
- At the age of 7 Paul discovered that he had hit puberty, and celebrated his premature development by "spunking" all over brother Barry's forehead as he slept.
- After a 3 hour battle with cancer Barry shaved his balls to cover up the hair loss from his chemotherapy on his head, and used some of Pauls juice from his love muscle to keep it attached on his forehead.
- A recent breakthrough in transgender therapy meant Paul could attach a USB port to his penis to carry on his sexual lust with a 2 Dimensional Tortoise called Chucklefan69 from Algeria.
- Unprecedented speculation over Barry's sexual preference has led to the finding that as children, Barry would repeatedly ask his uncle Roger Chuckle to violate him in his piss stain Y fronts, repeated "pummeling" of Barrys rectal area and the destruction of his sphincter meant he has developed the medical condition, "Prison Ring", whereby he is unable to control his bowel movements, resulting in involuntary solids following through into his y-fronts.
