This article is about the television comedy. For the scientific theory, see Big Bang. For other uses, see Your mom.

Smells like burning batteries with a hint of vanilla

The Big Bang Theory is an American television show about nerds and the woman they built.

Background radiation Edit

The Big Bang Theory is based on the 1787 treatise "Das Theorie der Bigus Bangus Boom" by Heinrich Henckel Poofterberg, a German scientist. In it, he speculated that there would come a time when the brain's functions would be set aside for television. The treatise contained detailed specifications, drawings, and schematic diagrams for said television. Unfortunately, this work was lost, along with many of his hit songs.

Then in 1913, Jerold "Pinhead" Carpentier, the founder of the Amalgamated Scriptwriters and Bass Gutting Union, acquired some of Poofterberg's letters. In one letter, Poofterberg seems to outline the first episode of the series. Carpentier did not understand what he was reading, however, and the series would have to wait 70 years more.

In 1964, a rough draft of Episode 1 from Season 1 was left at the landing site in Arizona where policeman Lonnie Zamora said he saw a UFO. Other than the script, there was no physical evidence of a craft, except for burning bushes, ground imprints, fused sand, several eyewitness accounts, two home 35mm movies, an official government color reel, and a signed selfie photograph which includes two aliens and the policeman giving a thumbs up.

In 1967, the rough draft was acquired by Mr. Carpentier, who was going through trash bins on the Paramount Studios lot. He did not understand this document, and threw it back in.

Cast Edit

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to The Big Bang Theory (TV series).

Sir Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, Ph.D, M.D., (played by Johnny Galecki): As the leader of this merry band of science thugs, he is one half of what it would take a waitress working extra shifts at the Cheesecake factory to pay the rent.

Sir Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D, M.D., D.D.S., D.V.M. (Honorary Member of Starfleet Academy (Played by Jim Parsons): He's, well, the other half. And he's quite annoying. I wouldn't sit in his seat if I were you.

Dr. Penny Van Peltenborg-Ramirez, Ph.D (Honorary Shotokan Degree from Online University)(Played by Kaley Cuoco-Unsweetened): She is the emotional glue that holds the unstable nerd nucleus together.

Dr. Howard Wolowitz, Ph.Oyvey (Played by Simon Helberg): The only Jewish scientist in America without a Ph.D, Wolowitz usually provides a witty repartee to many of the gang's sticky issues, like how does NASA let a man without a Ph.D board the space station? And when do we get to see his sexy mom?

Dr. Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali, Ph.D (Played by Kunal Nayyar): As the only Indian astrophysicist in California, Raj later joined his father's gynecology practice in New Delhi, were he met a beautiful astronomy grad student. They got married and had 3.5 children. He's so happy now with his new wife, three lovely daughters, 0.5 of a boy and all those vaginas to play with at work. Just kidding. Actually he still sits on the floor at Leonard and Sheldon's apartment.

Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, Ph.D, MBA, SAT (Played by Mayim Bialik): The second part of the autistic pairing that is Shelamy

Dr. Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz, Ph.D, DDT, WXYZ: (Played by Melissa Rauch) Ay, mama mia! What a spicy meatball!

Dr. Stewart Bloom, Ph.D of Nerdful Antiquities (Played by Kevin Sussman): As the original inspiration for Prozac, Stewart used the proceeds from his long stay at the research facility to build his vast collectibles empire. Although people still go to that other shop to buy comics...anyway, onward and upward!

Dr. Beverley "Nutcrusher" Hofstadter (Played Christine Baranski): Leonard's mother. Impaired by a moderately-high I.Q. coupled with mild autism, Dr. Hofstadter is single and unemployed, both conditions caused by the fact that she compulsively reduces her bosses and lovers to tears.

Dr. Wil Wheaton (Played by Wil Wheaton (no relation)): He is the autistic arch-nemesis of Sheldon Cooper. As the original member of the Enterprise crew, Wil Wheaton was granted an extended leave of absence from Star Fleet so that he might hang out at a nondescript comic book store with nondescript people.

Vanity Cards Edit

At the end of each show, a hastily written vanity card appears. According to Chuck Lorre, the creator and Executive Producer of the show, these vanity cards are not part of the film footage, and appear only when the episode airs. In 2009 the studio enlisted the aid of the FBI crime lab to find out how the vanity card footage gets spliced to the end of the show, but they could find no mechanism by which this was achieved. Chuck Lorre Productions had previously offered a $5,000 reward for information leading to the perpetrator of the vanity cards, but as of January 2017 the offer was withdrawn. Over 230 vanity cards were mysteriously spliced into the BBT footage by the mysterious perpetrator, the content of which varies from grocery lists, medical bills, and IOUs to casino bookies, to long and drawn out missives about mysterious vanity cards appearing seemingly out of nowhere. Forensic examination did find traces of coal dust on some of the vanity cards, but this may be due to the day work of most of the crew.

Season 12 Edit

Episode 1: The Big Backdated Theory: Leonard continues his apology tour; Sheldon and Amy are locked in a staring contest; Howard loses the Mars Orbiter. Special guest star: that girl from The Hunger Games...what was her name...

Episode 2: The Whore of Omaha Revision: Penny's friend, Christy, returns to Pasadena to wreak havoc on The Wolowitz marriage; Raj frets as he tries to find a bride for his wedding; Bernadette beats Howard with a hammer for no apparent reason. Special guest star former Mayor Giuliani as Jimmy from "South Park"

Episode 3: The Gorn Fishing Approximation: The gang goes fishing and catch several bubble-lipped bass; The Gorn and his family join the gang later for a fish dinner; Sheldon awakens from the coma to find the living room furniture rearranged.

Episode 4: The Shark Jump Effect: The gang assemble for their first annual Dune-a-thon, only to realize that Dune is real; Sheldon awakens from his second coma in time to watch the Dune-a-thon, already in progress

Episode 5: The Confliction Conundrum: Raj and Wolowitz are locked in Curtain Area 2, where they fall in love; Leonard and Penny argue about semantics; Sheldon and Amy go shopping but are ejected after revealing Victoria's Secret.

Episode 6: The Giant Squid Postulation: Leonard receives a visit from his favorite TV detective, Kojak (cameo appearance by Telly Savalas); The Gorn sues Sheldon for breach of contract; Gorn loses and so eats Sheldon.

Episode 7: The Quantum Basket Case: Raj is deported back to India where he joins his father's gynecology practice; Penny screams for no reason at all; Leonard flinches as Kurt moves in with Penny (maybe that's why she screamed, I dunno)

Episode 8: The 5-Sigma Guesstimation: Sheldon recovers from multiple Gorn abrasions to postulate a new theory; The laundry room catches fire causing Leonard and Penny go without fresh underwear; Raj awakens from his coma to find the Gorn sitting by his bedside.

Episode 9: The Nightmare Gorn Sequence: The Gorn reads the newspaper while drinking his morning coffee; The Gorn goes for a jog; The Gorn goes to work; The Gorn's wife cooks Leonard, Penny, Sheldon, Howard, Raj, Amy and Bernadette in a stew for her husband; The Gorn is late for dinner; The Gorn's wife finds racy Gorn emails in the Gorn's computer.

Episode 10: The Fluid Dynamic Dodos: Actor Adam West moves into the building; Sheldon is found wandering the train station with amnesia; Penny visits family in Nebraska and is promptly deported; The Gorn is laying in wait.

Episode 11: The Leslie Winkle Laser Wrinkle (Part 1): Leslie Winkle accuses Sheldon of stealing her latest invention; Actor George Reeves moves into the building; Bernadette is arrested for feeding her infant peas and carrots in public (from her breasts); The gang has no choice but to kidnap the stars of the sitcoms playing on the other networks.

Episode 12: The Leslie Winkle Laser Wrinkle (Part 2): The gang grudgingly accepts Koothrapali's suggestion to let the hostages go; The Gorn orders Leslie's Laser Wrinklenator machine from Amazon; Sheldon begins to write the first chapter of his biology textbook. The Gorn is still laying in wait - with a laser.