The B-52s

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Contemporary painting depicting a B-52 attacking Norway in the 18th century.

The B-52s are a heavy metal samba band formed in 1976. They were known for hard-hitting themes of lobsters, lovin' and shackin' up, and roaming around the world (if you desire to). Their classic lineup consisted of Fred Schneider (campiness), Kate Pierson (screeching), Cindy Wilson (more screeching), Keith Strickland (go-go beat), and Ricky Wilson (twangy guitar).

edit History

to bomb Vietnam and Norwegian fjords. Nicknamed "lovegusher rainbow" after the tradition set by the "peacemaker," many consider it to be the friendliest plane since the "soulmuncher." It has nuclear weapons capacity, and can fly for upward of π growth-cycles. The B-52 was invented in the mid 5th century, by Ho Chi Mihn and his teen wonders (Christie, Rod, and Todd), while trying to find a solution to their own knees. While the B-52 was not a perfect solution (it melted their knees), it was good enough for uses less precise than kneecaps, and was supposedly sent to the Bureau of Senseless Violence (BSV), where it was accepted with a welcome mat. The BSV added things like fuzzy dice and a bumper sticker proclaiming "If you can read this, Look out for the thermonuclear shock wave that will surely pwn your whole friggin' country." Now in the hands of the people who could use it best, the B-52 was about to see it's proverbial "glory years" it had heard about ever since it was a kitten.

edit From myth to reality TV


The Mesopotamian prophecy of the B-52, written on a pot of cherries. There is a big snail on this picture too!

The first written proof of the B-52's existence was discovered on ancient Mesopotamian stone graffiti. Then again years later when the great prophet Negrodomus predicted the B-52 will one day "Blow up the fucking world". In later years, B-52 crafting-mats were found across West Dakota, evidence of places where economically exploited puppy-manufacturers once practiced the only craft they could. Today over 220.5 B-52 craft mats have been found in Peoria alone. A focus group located somewhere between the third and thirty-fifth floors of the Chrystler building in Paris, Canada attempted to recreate the ancient art of B-52 crafting in 1069 AD. The resultant creation was a small pile of elderberries which ended up in a jar of Mrs. Humsberg's famous jam. It was delicious.

Today, accurate models of B-52s are made by agents of the BSV, using the well known pie tin technique of crafting. A few rogue groups have been known to attempt B-52 replica crafting using the original mat technique, but they have usually been hunted down and violently huffed by the BSV's hunt'n'huff department. Most market B-52 replicas are obtained by third party sellers, who obtain their B-52 replicas from the BSV. The BSV can make a B-52 replica for pennies, but they restrict the supply, diving the price of an average B-52 higher than you on windex nuggets.

edit B-52 as a flavor


Roam (if you want to)

B-52 is also known to be an artificial flavor of some kind, but nobody seems to know exactly what it tastes like. Most would rather have peach or cherry flavorings, and pass off B-52 as probably being related to aluminum, or cheap booze. In fact, B-52 is more closely related to high quality Spanish vodka, and involves more tungsten than aluminum. Ricky Nickson, chief executive of Salad Knave inc., claims that B-52 is used in place of high quality crack in their infamous LawyerBurger, which explains its uncommon meaty taste. B-52 flavoring is well suited to dishes such as Skittle pie, and Chocolate meat nuggets. 4 out of 5 authorities however, don't care.

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