The Twentyseventh Amendment
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The Twenty-Seventh Amendment is a book by Helen Keller talking about her lifelong challenge and trials to convince the english majors of the world that there is, in fact, a 27th letter in the alphabet. The book, printed entirely in brail, details the supposed 27th letter, in hope that someone else will hear the clarion call to continue the fight for it's proper placing in the alphabet.
According to the book, and corollated by various experts on quantum alphabet theory. The 27th letter is ¤, and is phonetically pronounced "nowai-nomai-ay-bee-sees-necks-time-wont-yoo-play-with-me". This pronunciation was discovered by Helen Keller herself, yet how she performed the task is still questionable. Nevertheless, the book goes into great detail about the pronunciation, but it remains secondary to the nature of the letter itself. The letter ¤ is accordingly to be included after the letter 'z', which like the planet pluto, is in itself suspicious as to its existence as a real planet of the alphabet.
[edit] Integration Into the Alphabet
According to expert scientologist Leonardo Dicaprio, who believes integration of ¤ into the alphabet to be of utmost importance to our nation's well-being, it would be quite difficult, but very possible, to actually compound the ¤ molecule into the polypeptide that is the alphabet. Doing so, he says, would require multiple things, including, but not limited to:
- A fusion reactor
- A particle accelerator
- A functional synchotron
- 8 kilos of pure, untainted crack
- 500 prepaid minutes of phone sex.
However, after integration into the alphabet is complete, Pete Boyd believes that the next step will be most challenging:
"The real issue is that for the letter to be put into use, there needs to be words that use it, and there really aren't that many new words to make really. What are there, like, a zillion or something letters? Dude. Seriously. Plus, man, it's not like we can change words just to add a letter. That would make stuff really confusing. So I guess the only solution is to make up stuff and then make up words for it. Like if there was an animal that looked like a cat but barked like a dog, we could give it the name 'sh¤thead'. So integration is possible"
When asked whether this could lead into further research and discovery of potential methods in which hispanics, blacks, and other minorities could ever integrate into the top tier of economics, Pete died from AIDS. Pete will be remembered.
[edit] The book
The book itself is composed of 706,000 pages composed of 15 carrot gold and cost 1/100th of Helen Keller's substantial fortune (acquired from begging and movie deals). The length of the book is due to Ms. Keller's insistence that only one dot of braille be included on each page. Many critics have claimed that this makes the book unreadable, to which Ms. Keller has responded multiple times during press conferences, using different languages (the english version shown here): "Who's the deaf, blind, mute person here, me or you birdbrains!? I KNOW HOW BRAILLE WORKS, YOU MORONS, now, you, yes, over there, get me a dasani, and take off that goddamn ugly jacket or I'll plug you through with my semi! " There is only one copy of the book in existence, and it resides in the vatican.
[edit] Debatable Issues
As the letter Z is the 92nd letter of the Romanian alphabet, some scholars query the right of its successor to be labelled the 27th. Those people should clearly study recent findings in Nondeterministic mathematics. (For more detail, see X).
