That time I was plundered in the ass by a Viking during my voyage to a retirement villa

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Bloink1 solid
This article is being considered for deletion in accordance with Uncyclopedia's deletion policy.
This page may not fit in Uncyclopedia, or may not be funny with little chance for redemption.
Please share your thoughts on the matter at this article's entry on the Votes for deletion page.
BrettFavreWantsToPlay
He looked kinda like this, only fucking psycho.

Dude, that thing was fucking Scandinavian. Like, WTF?

edit So there I was

doing my whole checking out retirement villas in Florida pretending for the umpteenth time that I was going to retire from football, right? Like, Brett Favre "Ouch! I got a splinter so I can't play, but you're still going to pay me!" crybaby shit.

edit And this fucking Viking

bursts out of the palm trees, musks all over the place, and instead of going after a quarterback with talent, he makes a Vikingline straight for me.

edit So I pulled down

my pants and said, "Give it to me, John Madden! God you're such a big daddy!" It hurt so good.

I barely got away with hundreds of angry football fanatics and a new multi-million dollar contract that pays out even if I spend every game benched because I'm faking some sort of traumatic thumb injury.

edit No seriously

BrettFavreWhinyBitch
I let my anus get plundered by a Viking!

edit Next time

I'll tell you about that time I sat on my ass and still made millions and how I caused the biggest catastrophe in American history.

Personal tools
projects