That time I accidentally beheaded a queen during my sojourn in France

They looked kinda like this, only fucking psycho.

Dude, those fucking Jacobins were vicious. Like, WTF?

So there I was

hanging out with my friend Farm Boy in fucking 18th Century France, doing my Solid Snake thing with the wine and the baguettes, right? Like, badass tourist shit.

and this fucking cake

looked fucking delicious. So I said "Can me and Farm Boy have some of that shit?"

And the royal chef yells "NON!"

WTF?? But then the queen overheard and she says "Shit, Pierre, let them eat cake."

and then these fucking Jacobins

burst out of the Bastille, French musk all over the place, and they guillotine her fucking head off!!

so I pulled out my

passport and said "Whoa, not French, guys, not fucking French." And then they try to guillotine me, too! WTF?

I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.

No, seriously. I accidentally got that bitch decapitated.

See also

• That time I accidentally launched a thousand ships with my face during my sojourn in Troy