That Guy
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“ I really don't understand why I'm always mistaken for This Guy...”
~ That Guy on This Guy
“ That Guy looks a lot like a laterally inverted This Guy with a moustache”
~ Captain Obvious on That Guy
“I really hate That Guy!”
~ Oscar Wilde on That Guy
“So do I. He's such a copy-cat”
~ This Guy on That Guy
“Look who's talkin'!”
~ That Guy on the above quote
“He says he knows me, but I don't know That Guy.”
~ John Linnell on That Guy
Thought to be a relative of This Guy, That Guy attempted unsuccessfully to follow in the footsteps of his famous ancestor. After decades of standing on city street corners showing off his uniquely Tudorian kitten huffing abilities to the masses, he finally realized it wasn't making him any money or getting him hot babes.
He also co-invented Smock-huffing with the rumored Oscar Wilde, which not only works but leaves you with the unbeatable feeling of just having huffed a smock. An on-point substitute for kitten-huffing.
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[edit] Public Life
If there is anyone in the world who would be your hero. Well mine is My DADDY he is the bestest in the worldest, he is a good kicker. YOU Rock DADDY!!!!
A brief career in bootlicking led to Fifteen minutes of fame for That Guy, as he found a way to lick the most boots (616 pairs, to be exact.) ever licked in a seven minute span of time (It usually takes 15 minutes to do'rê same amount as he did). Unfortunately, very few people cared about this, so That Guy fell back into the dustbin of history with the banana peels and discarded condom wrappers also in there.
He's well known for letting free thousands of brickrock during the brick-rock genocide. And is a hero in brickrock society and culture.
His catchphrase "By Eck!!!" was popular throughout the 1930s, and remains so in parts of Lancashire, particularly in Wigan, St Helens and Texas, to this day.
That Guy was also CEO for Planet Express-delivery company for brief period, until he was replaced by the aging professor Hubert J. Farnsworth.
At some point in time, That Guy's pizza was stolen.
That Guy was the Pope for 36 minutes 45 seconds before it was discovered he was Jewish and against the rape of little boys.
If you play That Guy and Dark Side Of The Moon by Pink Floyd at the same time, it all syncs up.
That Guy also missed a train to Leeds, UK in 2004.
That Guy founded Animal Fucking Day.
He's also a relative of That Gay, his queer cousin.
That Guy is married to This Girl , and not That Girl who is married to This Guy . But not this guy . Because he's not That Guy .
[edit] No Life
For the last forty years he has been aimlessly roaming the countryside looking for This Guy, living off of the berries found on certain bushes most common in Yorkshire, and acting perverse when he so desires.
When not involved in kitten/puppy huffing, That Guy also enjoys antique shopping, chewing used tin foil, ultimate frisbee, matchbook collecting, and long, romantic walks on the beach. (Which is also the reason he's not believed to exist.)
He also is the only known man ever to live who can handle the taste of brickrock without getting the runs. He is very cool.
Recently, That Guy was seen on the New Zealand Tee-Vee show, TBA Sportscafè. He was last seen behind the wheel of a Hyundai driving through a fridge inside an apartment full of Robin Williams, his cousin, Oprah Winfrey, fortyfive times removed and twice added.
That guy used to enjoy wrestling alligators, but after the Steve Irwin incident, took up a new hobby: wrestling dust bunnies. Yes, Skull.
[edit] Affiliation
In 1988, a young ambitious law enforcer by the name of Gregory Vladauskus convincingly discovered that indeed That Guy was part of and still remains affiliated with the secret society known as Those Guys. Gregory had been on the case for nearly a decade and validated his evidence through DNA testing at the Association of Research and Enlightenment. Though no one really knows where That Guy is located, we may be a step closer to catching the pesty blood thirsty lunatic.
Don't be That Guy== Don't be That Guy. Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me... you can't be something you're noooooot!
I mean seriously, That Guy is guilty of having countless annoying habits including but not limited to:
- Bellowing requests to hear freebird every time he sees a musical performance regardless of genre
- Wearing a T-shirt with the name of the same band that he is going to see in concert.
- Talking too loudly on a cell phone in public places
- Ordering the most unhealthy item on the menu and asking for a diet coke
- Waiting until he's ready to order to decide what he wants on the menu.
- Threatening to sue a cashier for not giving him enough change.
- Sitting in the smoking section and complaining loudly about second hand smoke.
- Smoking in the seat closest to the non-smoking section
- Touching EVERYTHING in someone's room the first time they visit.
- Generally just being a tool.
- Operating an automobile with an arm hanging out the drivers side window
- Assuming that all countries have the drivers side on the left, old chap
- People who use the expression "old chap".
- Getting in fights over ludicrously stupid arguments at little league games
- Playing World of Warcraft
- Playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band extremely well and not playing real instruments.
- Being a self-proclaimed expert at virtually everything
- Flipping off School Bus drivers
- Dumping a girlfriend because he doesn't want to be in an intimate relationship and then asking a different girl out less than a week (1 week maximum!) later. Seriously. Don't do this.
- A general hypocrite
- That when asked, "Is it Thursday?" replies, "All day!" ...IT'S NOT FUNNY!
- Sending a cocktail back to the bar because it doesn't "taste right."
-don't be That Guy
[edit] Death's Threats
Steve Ballmer, the infamous twit, threatened to kill That Guy in 2005, in a profanity-laced tirade that has been reproduced so many times that it is hardly necessary to repeat it here. Needless to say, That Guy has stepped up security measures in the wake of this death threat by installing automatic motion-detecting minigun turret's on his porch. He was that guy in Fight Club who was all like "His name is Robert Paulson".
[edit] Conspiracy Theory
- Many reputable sources, most notably Yoda, believe That Guy was a part of the Pope Sevunus fiasco. Some sources claim That Guy is also involved in a new-fangled attempt at puppy huffing, but said sources are not 100% reliable.
Rumoured to have joined the SS Expedition to Tibet in the 1930's as a naturalist. However, this was just a cover for his ambition to huff a Tibetan snow leopard.
Kitty huffing, he was.-Yoda the Jedi.
- Other even more reputable sources (Such as Rutger Hauer) believe That Guy to be none other than Jim Stancel because well, you know Jim...he's that guy...
[edit] Big brother
That Guy was a star player on the latest porno edition of big brother. he was notable for being the only housemate that managed to "Shag" all the housemates 10 times in sucsession, these being Amber, Sky, Roadie, Tina, Hotgurl, Shizzler, Mannler, Bolly, Melanie, Jason, and even Big Brother...in that particular order, of course...
[edit] That Guy could be Satan
Al gore claimed that guy was satan, so people won't believe That Guy's "global cooling" claims. Satan soon killed that guy's clone thinking it was that guy. Then that guy went into hiding for "eleventeen" years. After it was known to all that al gore was just mentally retarded, he could get out of hiding and just make fun of al gore like every other person does to mentally retarded people. Also, in more recent investigations, that guy reportedly sleeps in a hole underground. A hole very very deep underground.
[edit] Why That Guy Is A Noob
- He sees you when you're sleeping
- He knows when you're a-rape
- He knows if you've been bad or good so be good for rapist sakes!
- He also attends concerts wearing a shirt promoting the band he is seeing.
- That guy once pushed his mother down the stairs in an attempt to persuade her to make him another grilled cheese sandwich with extra pickle and a sausage
- That guy was good friends with Ronald Wilson Reagan and was instrumental in his development of crack and Aids.
- That guy often surfs random wikis looking for the real reason the X-files was cancelled
- That guy works for DHL
- That guy has successfully KOed Teh 1337 noob.
- HUFFED YOU MOTHER FUCK-ER!
