Texas A&M University
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| Texas A&M University | |
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| Motto | A Unique American Institution. |
| Established | 1876 |
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| School type | Public |
| President | Darth Vader & the The Imperial Wizard |
| Location | College Station, Texas, USA |
| Campus | Faggie Land |
| Enrollment | {{{enrolled}}}, {{{graduates}}} |
| Endowment | 2 inches |
| Faculty | Illinois Nazis |
| Mascot | Charlie, the happy negro |
“Pardon me, but I do believe that your thumb is in my ass.”
Contents |
[edit] Academics
When a young man graduates from high school he will probably make one of the most important decisions of his life: where he will continue his education. If he decides that he likes to suck dicks and smoke preposterous amounts of marijuana, he typically will go to the University of Texas at Austin. However, if he is a real man he will go to Texas A&M University. If he bombed his SAT and doesn't want to go to a junior college he will have to settle with Texas Tech.
Texas A&M -- established 1876, built on morals and utmost comaraderie, the school was originally a military college funded by state money for improvements in agriculture. TAMU was originally called TAMC, standing for Texas Agricultural and Mechanical College.
Aggie life is something which "from the outside looking in cannot be understood and from the inside looking out cannot be explained" - it is simply felt. Some attribute this to a deeply spiritual experience, but it is clinically proven that this loss for words is due to the Aggies' notorious lack of mastery of the English language, much less basic syntax or vocabulary.
[edit] Traditions
The traditions are what makes College Station "Aggieland". Aggies like to say, "From the outside you can't understand it, from the inside you can't explain it." The end of the saying is typically left unstated: "because we're all bat fuck insane and there are just some things can't be learned in college, especially if one's IQ and SAT scores were so low that no place better than TAMU would accept me."
Another Aggie tradition is to spend all year waiting for one game to come and then basing your happiness for the next twelve months on the outcome of said game.
[edit] The Corps
Because Texas A&M is a recognized Senior Military College, the Corps of Cadets is a large body of mostly male students who constantly exercise, discipline freshmen, and and play games with each other. They are known specifically for their huge cocks and their tendency to make boys' panties wet.
[edit] Gig'em
A tradition, executed by a simple "thumbs up". The sign originated from a former coach who told the A&M football team to "gig the hell outta TCU".[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] At that very moment, a new campus tradition was born; although, no one knows exactly what it means to "gig" anything.
This tradition has also been controversely (erm, controvertially... yeah whoever wrote this oveeusly went to TAMU colledge, huh?) noted for various instances of "Gig-Em Get-Togethers" where massive thumb-to-butt "fights" occur between Corpsmen in a display of "Hey brah, look at how fucking MANLY[1][2][3][4] we are."
[edit] George H.W. Bush Presidential Library
Originally concocted as a mausoleum to the native Sky-Gods that represented the Bush family, the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library and Bronze Horse Statue Complex had to be toned down at the request of the State of Texas. The building itself is a feat amongst its brethren on the College Station campus as it is the first structure to receive a design rating as high as "forgettable" from the Royal Institute of British Architects.

