Testicles

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Testicles, or stress-relief balls, promote health and happiness, according to Dr. Laura Schlessinger

For the Greek philosopher, see Testiclēs.

“Attention Uncyclopedia readers. Testicles. That is all.”

~ Peter Griffin

“What's happenin' fourm? Joe Biden's testicles. That is all.”

~ Ray william Johnson

Testicles are therapeutic devices designed to alleviate emotional stress and anxiety through the application of kinesthetic exercise. They are also known as stress-relief balls.

edit Description

Two squeezable, oval-shaped balls are packaged in close proximity to one another inside a sack, known as the scrotum. Testicles come in a variety of colored pouches, including tan, bronze, chocolate, coffee, off-coffee, brown, black, cornsilk, yellow, pink, red, and blue, band-aid colour, khaki, and poo, but only when an admirer fails to relieve the testicles themselves. Have you ever questioned balls? like if you look at balls you see the sack and then think what about the balls? Then you think seeming...I mean semen...are balls seemingly filled semen balls? or are they the balls of life? or death?

edit Instructions for use

To alleviate stress and anxiety, the user manipulates the balls through the silky pouch, rolling them together or in opposite directions, kneading them lightly, or jiggling them. Manufacturers suggest that users resist the impulse to bounce the balls, because they are not made of rubber and could be damaged if too much force is applied to them.

edit Uses and benefits

Testicles are endorsed by many physicians, health organizations, and fitness centers as an ideal product for the release of stress, and users also express satisfaction with the item.

“They're great! I don't know how I ever got through the day without a pair of testicles to play with!”

~ Tom Cruise

“Rubbing my testicles makes me feel good all over.”

~ John Travolta

“Whenever I feel stressed out at work, I take a break, not for coffee, but for a testicles workout. Soon after, I feel like a million bucks.”

~ Donald Trump

“I wish I had a pair to squeeze.”

~ Sarah Michelle Gellar

“The bawlz are fucking inert.”

~ Piccolo

“I have three!”

~ Tom Delonge

“Balls to you”

~ Salman khan

Doctors also say that testicles are effective in the treatment of arthritis, nerve-related diseases, gout, and depression. "Manipulating a pair of testicles generally has a pleasant, even a potentially euphoric effect, which can result in tranquil, relaxed feelings," Dr. Laura Schlessinger declares. "I play with a pair of them every day, after I get home from the office."

Many users also report finding relief from pain as a result of flexing the testicles between their thumbs and fingers. "A five-finger massage is generally the best approach," Dr. Schlessinger advises.

“Jimbo sucks balls.”

~ Christian E.

edit Game to Play with Testicles

Heres some fun games to play with testicles!

Game 1

Step 1: Get 10+ guys and find a dark area

Step 2: Get naked and put fluorescent paint on testicles

Step 3: Run around this dark area trying to maim other guys testicles while safeguarding your own

Tip: Bring a weapon(see below for best choices) just in case things get a bit rough.

Game 2

Step 1: Get a bucket of cold water

Step 2: Find a very cold pole

Step 3: Saturate testicles in cold water

Step 4: Touch wet, cold, testicles against the very cold pole

Tip: Bring friends who like to sexually abuse you for hours of fun!

Game 3

Step 1: Put a rope around the ol' grapefruits

Step 2: Find a tree

Step 3: Hang yourself by the family jewels

Tip: Let friends come and take pics for a lifetime of giggles!!!