Testicle

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (Reverted edit(s) of 125.165.137.137 (talk) to last version by 74.103.2.237)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{pp-semi-vandalism|small=yes}}
+
{{whoops|Testicles}}
{{Infobox Anatomy
+
[[Image:Eggs.jpg|thumb|Testicles]]
| Name = Testicle
 
| Latin = testis
 
| GraySubject = 258
 
| GrayPage = 1236
 
| Image = Gray1144.png
 
| Caption = Diagram of male (human) testicles
 
| Image2 =
 
| Caption2 =
 
| Width = 250
 
| System =
 
| Artery = [[Testicular artery]]
 
| Vein = [[Testicular vein]], [[Pampiniform plexus]]
 
| Nerve = [[Spermatic plexus]]
 
| Lymph = [[Lumbar lymph nodes]]
 
| MeshName =
 
| MeshNumber =
 
| Dorlands = eight/000107530
 
| DorlandsID = Testicle
 
}}
 
The '''testicle''' (from [[Latin]] ''testiculus'', diminutive of ''testis'', meaning "witness" of [[virility]],<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/pdf/10.1046/j.1464-410X.2002.02783.x |title=Blackwell Synergy |publisher=Blackwell Synergy |date= |accessdate=2010-10-25}}</ref> [[Grammatical number|plural]] ''testes'') is the male [[gonad]] in [[animal]]s. Like the [[ovary|ovaries]] to which they are [[homology (biology)|homologous]], testes are components of both the [[reproductive system]] and the [[endocrine system]]. The primary functions of the testes are to produce [[spermatozoon|sperm]] ([[spermatogenesis]]) and to produce [[androgens]], primarily [[testosterone]].
 
[[File:Testis.gif|thumb|right|202px|Diagram of an adult human testicle: A.) Blood vessels; B.) Head of epididymus; C.) Efferent ductiles; D.) Seminiferous tubules; E.) Parietal lamina of tunica vaginalis; F.) Visceral lamina of tunica vaginalis; G.) Cavity of tunica vaginalis; H.) Tunica albuginea; I.) Lobule of testis; J.) Tail of epididymus; K.) Body of epididymus; L.) Mediastinum; M.) Vas deferens.]]
 
Both functions of the testicle are influenced by gonadotropic hormones produced by the anterior [[pituitary]]. [[Luteinizing hormone]] (LH) results in testosterone release. The presence of both testosterone and [[follicle-stimulating hormone]] (FSH) is needed to support spermatogenesis.
 
   
==Anatomy and physiology==
+
{{Q|Testiclay are seriously underrated. I was born with 100 of them they're that good and two just wouldn't do me justice.|Oscar Wilde|Tesicles}}
===External appearance===
 
Almost all healthy male [[vertebrate]]s have two testes. They are typically of similar size, although in [[shark]]s, that on the right side is usually larger, and in many bird and mammal species, the left may be the larger. The primitive [[jawless fish]] have only a single testis, located in the midline of the body, although even this forms from the fusion of paired structures in the embryo.<ref name=VB/>
 
   
In [[mammal]]s, the testes are often contained within an extension of the [[abdomen]] called the [[scrotum]]. In mammals with external testes it is most common for one testicle to hang lower than the other. While the size of the testicle varies, it is estimated that 21.9% of men have their higher testicle being their left, while 27.3% of men have reported to have equally positioned testicles.<ref>Scrotal Asymmetry: Right-Left and the scrotum in male sculpture"[http://www.thenakedscientists.com/Other%20Files/ScrotalAsymmetry.pdf]" By I. C. Manus</ref> This is due to differences in the vascular anatomical structure on the right and left sides.
+
{{Q|Slitting my own testicle in two!|me|nut slitting}}
   
In healthy European adult humans, average testicular volume is 18&nbsp;cm³ per testis, with normal size ranging from 12&nbsp;cm³ to 30&nbsp;cm³.<ref>Andrology: Male Reproductive Health and Dysfunction"[http://books.google.com/books?id=LZsrznAqKnEC&printsec=frontcover&dq=andrology&sig=du3-cvy3ozj6KnifCoXuH2hzpbg#PPA92,M1]"
+
'''Testicles''' are also referred to as "[[nigger]] eggs" by those in the medical profession. Oval or boner shaped they are contained inside the rectum, or what is medically referred to as the "brown eye", "poop chute", or "asshole"
By E. Nieschlag, Hermann M. Behre, H. van. Ahlen</ref> The average testicle size after puberty measures up to around 2&nbsp;inches long, 0.8&nbsp;inches in breadth, and 1.2&nbsp;inches in height (5 x 2 x 3&nbsp;cm).
+
For example "Your mom likes my testicles in her asshole."
Measurement in the living adult is done in two basic ways:
 
*comparing the testicle with [[ellipsoids]] of known sizes ([[orchidometer]]).
 
*measuring the length, depth and width with a ruler, a pair of calipers or [[ultrasound]] imaging.
 
   
The volume is then calculated using the formula for the volume of an [[ellipsoid]]: 4/3 π × (length/2) × (width/2) × (depth/2).
+
They serve no apparent purpose and are not to be confused with the [[faggots]], a pointy propogational device which indicates the general vector of thought in the [[male]] "species". One retard believes [[God]] created them to stick in the male species for taking a bite out of some delicious apple. These testicles are not to be confused with Testicles of Scrotum, the most famous Greek pedophile.
   
Human testicles are smaller than chimpanzee testicles but larger than gorilla testicles.<ref>Human Origins 101 - Page 138, Holly M. Dunsworth - 2007</ref>
+
In the scrotum, where the testicles are held, the right testicle should explode right after birth, causing intense pain slightly lower than the left testicle. If this is not true of your testicles, you have [[Cancer]] and will probably die unless you sacrifice a [[human baby]] to [[God]]. This condition may also give your ejaculations a slight fruity taste and turn you into a flaming homosexual.
   
The size of the testicles is among the parameters of the [[Tanner_scale#Genitals_.28male.29|Tanner scale for the maturity of male genitals]], from stage I which represents a volume of less than 1.5 ml, to stage V which represents a testicular volume of greater than 20 ml.
+
== Common Uses ==
  +
[[Image:Nature_s_Testicles.jpg|thumb|300px|Plants have testicles too!]]
   
===Internal structure===
+
Many people don't realize that amputated testicles serve many purposes. In America, they are used as [[chewing gum]] along with the [[foreskin]]. In some regions of [[Africa]], they are burned as incense during the ceremonial sacrificing of the pebbles and bottle of [[Coca-Cola]] that fell from the sky. In [[England]], amputated testicles are often placed in the knees of short people in order to encourage growth.
[[Image:transversetestis.png|thumb|right|Transverse section through the left side of the scrotum and the left testis.]]
 
[[Image:Rabbitttestis40x1.jpg|thumb|right|Cross section of rabbit testis, magnified 40 times.]]
 
   
====Duct system====
+
Some Italian scientists made a ridiculous theory up in 1923, they believed the testicles actually contained and produced a micro organism they called "sperm" which was used for "the creation of babies." They believed the sperm came out when a man ejaculates, but we all know the substance is [[penis juice]], formed in the mountains of Peru. The US government sorted out the scientists by castrating them, the lying bastards. Some people today still believe this is true, and should also be castrated for their ridiculous misconception.
Under a tough membranous shell, the [[tunica albuginea (testicles)|tunica albuginea]], the testis of [[amniote]]s and some [[teleost]] fish, contains very fine coiled tubes called [[seminiferous tubules]]. The tubules are lined with a layer of cells ([[germ cells]]) that from [[puberty]] into old age, develop into [[sperm]] [[cell (biology)|cells]] (also known as [[spermatozoa]] or male [[gametes]]).
 
The developing sperm travel through the seminiferous tubules to the [[rete testis]] located in the [[mediastinum testis]], to the [[efferent ducts]], and then to the [[epididymis]] where newly created sperm cells mature (see [[spermatogenesis]]). The sperm move into the [[vas deferens]], and are eventually expelled through the [[urethra]] and out of the [[External urethral orifice (male)|urethral orifice]] through muscular contractions.
 
   
[[Amphibian]]s and most fish do not possess seminiferous tubules. Instead, the sperm are produced in spherical structures called ''sperm ampullae''. These are seasonal structures, releasing their contents during the breeding season, and then being reabsorbed by the body. Before the next breeding season, new sperm ampullae begin to form and ripen. The ampullae are otherwise essentially identical to the seminiferous tubules in higher vertebrates, including the same range of cell types.<ref name=VB>{{cite book |author=Romer, Alfred Sherwood|author2=Parsons, Thomas S.|year=1977 |title=The Vertebrate Body |publisher=Holt-Saunders International |location= Philadelphia, PA|pages= 385–386|isbn= 0-03-910284-X}}</ref>
+
==Other terms for testes==
  +
[[Image:Testecles.jpg|thumb|Not to be confused with the [[Greek]] hero Testecles.]]
  +
*Apricots
  +
*The Old Men
  +
*Wrinkly-face
  +
*[[Cheech & Chong]]
  +
*Golden Bullet
  +
*iBalls
  +
*Fluff Bags
  +
*Beanbag (Mexican)
  +
* Mini coconuts (beware of the toxic "ball-sack" milk from the North.)
  +
*Juicy egg-eggs
  +
*Fucking nuts: As in "Ah my fucking nuts, you dirty prostitute bitch!"
  +
*Love lumps
  +
*Bolas
  +
*Little sacks of joy
  +
*The boys
  +
*Little sacks of annoyance
  +
*Little sacks of pain
  +
*Collons
  +
*Nuts in a sling
  +
*Brown melons
  +
*Los amigos
  +
*Balls
  +
*Cherries
  +
*Oranges
  +
*The gum you sat in
  +
*Gurt Growths
  +
*Cusba
  +
*Testicley
  +
*[[Fall Out Boy]]
  +
*Huevos de fidel castro
  +
*Jewlez
  +
*Nucking Futs
  +
*Hacky Sacks
  +
*The Hairy Twins
  +
*Bubblegum Bandits
  +
*Double trouble
  +
*Spermies
  +
*Botox Bunnies
  +
*Hair Balls
  +
*Noah's Delight
  +
*Chocolate Scoops
  +
*[[Peanuts]]
  +
*Joy Dept.
  +
*Sack Lunch
  +
*Cojones
  +
*Talegas
  +
*[[My Chemical Romance]]
  +
*Dan Lapp
  +
*The Satchel
  +
*Meat And Two Vegge
  +
*Will and Shatner
  +
*Family Jewels
  +
*Pelotas
  +
*Teabag
  +
*Mah Mangoes
  +
*timmy and the kids
  +
*Meatballs
  +
* Jessica's delights
  +
* The octagon and Tom O'leery
  +
* Sarah Palin
  +
* Balls of steel
  +
* midget
  +
*Wedding vegetables
  +
*Mault Balls (Though only used to describe blacks)
  +
*Li'l baby makers
  +
*Mike and Freddy
   
====Primary cell types====
+
== At 350 Degrees ==
;Within the [[seminiferous tubules]]:
 
*Here, [[germ cells]] develop into [[spermatogonia]], [[spermatocytes]], [[spermatids]] and [[spermatozoon]] through the process of spermatogenesis. The gametes contain DNA for fertilization of an ovum<ref>Histology, A Text and Atlas by Michael H. Ross and Wojciech Pawlina, Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 5th ed, 2006</ref>
 
   
*[[Sertoli cells]] - the true epithelium of the seminiferous epithelium, critical for the support of germ cell development into spermatozoa. Sertoli cells secrete [[inhibin]].<ref>{{cite journal |author=Skinner M, McLachlan R, Bremner W |title=Stimulation of Sertoli cell inhibin secretion by the testicular paracrine factor PModS |journal=Mol Cell Endocrinol |volume=66 |issue=2 |pages=239–49 |year=1989 |pmid=2515083 |doi=10.1016/0303-7207(89)90036-1}}</ref>
+
When testicles are heated to 350 degrees celsius, they will reach the next stage of evolution and begin to repeat their name to any trainor who happens to catch them on the open range. One pair of Testicles ran for office in France, won the title of President in [[1989]]. This although did not stop the blacks from getting in during early 2008
   
*Peritubular [[myoid cells]] surround the seminiferous tubules.<ref>Arch Histol Cytol. 1996 Mar;59(1):1-13</ref>
+
== Testicles in Statistics and Math==
  +
In a very recent study, made in [[Israel]], some new amazing facts were found:
  +
The population of [[women]] in the world is over 50% of the entire population.
  +
The percentile of [[men]] with three or more testicles is a whole lot less than the percentile of men with one or none testicles.
  +
Therefore, is was a shocking revaltion when the Israeli scientists announced in a 2006 science conference:
  +
"We believe that there are more people on Earth then the sum of its testicles: There is less than one testicle per a human being".
  +
Although none solutions were suggested it was promised to be the major event in the conference of 2007.
  +
Meanwhile, the fact that there is a negative ratio of testicle per a human being, made a lot of gambling agents, bookies and hungarian politicians to commit suicide.
   
;Between tubules (interstitial cells)
+
{{Q|I will donate my body to science to increase the poor testicle per a human being ration|Albert Einstein|Testicle ratio}}
*[[Leydig cells]] - cells localized between [[seminiferous tubules]] that produce and secrete [[testosterone]] and other [[androgen]]s important for [[sexual development]] and [[puberty]], [[secondary sexual characteristics]] like facial hair, [[Human sexual activity|sexual behavior]] and [[libido]], supporting spermatogenesis and [[erection|erectile function]]. Testosterone also controls testicular volume.
 
   
*Also present are:
+
In the conference of 2007, scientists and scholars from all around the world decided to improve the man/testicle ratio by founding "[[The Association for the Testicle]]". The association (shortly "Ass for Test" or "ASS") decided to do so by making the - Testicle donor card. ASS says that the solution seems not effective but after about a century we will begin seeing the result. The honorable Israel scientist, [[Alexander Zainanak]] said - "We may not be here forever, but testicles will always live on".
:*Immature Leydig cells
 
:*Interstitial [[macrophages]] and [[epithelial cells]].
 
   
====Blood supply and lymphatic drainage====
+
==Sentimental Value==
Blood supply and [[lymphatic drainage]] of the testes and scrotum are distinct:
+
A recent poll revealed that 98.7% of males actually name their own testicles, and think of them as little friends. Some even entertain themselves by putting on puppet shows featuring their own testicles. [[Mr. Rogers]] displayed his on camera in an unaired episode of his television show, and said, ''"I named one Skippy, and the other one Jamal,and they're my best friends. I always have them to talk to when I'm feeling down, or depressed. So remember, young children, if your dad gets wasted, throws your refrigerator out a window, and assaults you with a latex glove, just remember that your little friends will always be with you."'' Some people have even gone so far as to suggest that testicles are indeed small, loveable little creatures who live inside the [[scrotum]] for the sole purpose of providing fun and friendship for their male hosts. This theory is supported by an incident that occurred in 1994, when a janitor reported that one of his testicles "didn't like" the other one, and that they "wouldn't stop attacking each other." Also, 30% of males have reported hearing soft chirping sounds coming from inside their [[scrotum|scrotoms]], though again, this evidence has never been substantiated.
*The paired [[testicular arteries]] arise directly from the [[abdominal aorta]] and descend through the [[inguinal canal]], while the scrotum and the rest of the external genitalia is supplied by the [[internal pudendal artery]] (itself a branch of the [[internal iliac artery]]).
 
*The testis has collateral blood supply from 1. the [[cremasteric artery]] (a branch of the [[inferior epigastric artery]], which is a branch of the [[external iliac artery]]), and 2. the [[artery to the ductus deferens]] (a branch of the [[inferior vesical artery]], which is a branch of the [[internal iliac artery]]). Therefore, if the testicular artery is ligated, e.g., during a Fowler-Stevens [[orchiopexy]] for a high undescended testis, the testis will usually survive on these other blood supplies.
 
*Lymphatic drainage of the testes follows the testicular arteries back to the [[paraaortic lymph nodes]], while lymph from the scrotum drains to the [[inguinal lymph nodes]].
 
   
====Layers====
+
== Little Known Facts ==
Many anatomical features of the adult testis reflect its developmental origin in the [[abdomen]]. The layers of tissue enclosing each testicle are derived from the layers of the anterior [[abdominal wall]]. Notably, the [[cremasteric muscle]] arises from the [[internal oblique muscle]].
+
[[Image:Sacklunch.gif|thumb|A diagram of a man holding his [[Sack Lunch]], which is his food.]]
  +
*When a [[testicle]] is severed, planted in the ground, watered, and fertilised adequately, it will grow into a [[Baby]] Tree, providing giggly, happy [[babies]] for Barren [[Women]]. This must, however, be done during a [[Twilight|new moon]].
  +
*Dried in the sun, testicles make [[excellent]] Bouncy Balls!
  +
*Women have testicles too! Unlike male testicles, female testicles are greatly enlarged and located on the chest. Women often wear athletic supporters known by the slang term "brassieres" to protect them.
  +
*Often used during a homerun celebration [http://www.playersbehavingbadly.com/On/Aramis_Ramirez_Cubs_what_video.html video]
  +
*it has been claimed that [[testicles]] are bio-thermonuclear radar devices given by [[Ultra Jesus]] to all mankind.
  +
*The 'Adam's apple' so prominent on [[Ann Coulter]] is actually a testicle, believed to belong to either [[Bill O'Reilly]] or [[George W. Bush]]. Attempts to remove it have met with fierce resistance from Ms Coulter herself.
  +
*[[Your mom]] likes testicles.
   
====The blood–testis barrier====
+
== See Also ==
Large molecules cannot pass from the blood into the lumen of a seminiferous tubule due to the presence of [[tight junctions]] between adjacent [[Sertoli cells]]. The spermatogonia are in the basal compartment (deep to the level of the tight junctions) and the more mature forms such as primary and secondary spermatocytes and spermatids are in the adluminal compartment.
+
*[[Nuts]] (plural)
  +
*[[nut sack]]
  +
*[[blue balls]]
  +
*[[Tea Bag]]
   
The function of the [[blood–testis barrier]] (red highlight in diagram above) may be to prevent an [[auto-immune]] reaction. Mature sperm (and their [[antigen]]s) arise long after immune tolerance is established in infancy. Therefore, since sperm are antigenically different from ''self'' tissue, a male animal can react immunologically to his own sperm. In fact, he is capable of making antibodies against them.
+
[[Category:Anatomy]]
  +
[[Category:Testicles]]
   
Injection of sperm antigens causes inflammation of the testis (auto-immune orchitis) and reduced fertility. Thus, the blood–testis barrier may reduce the likelihood that sperm proteins will induce an immune response, reducing fertility and so progeny.
+
[[ca:Collons]]
+
[[es:Cojones]]
===Temperature regulation===
+
[[ja:金玉]]
The testes work best at temperatures slightly less than core body temperature. The [[spermatogenesis]] is less efficient at lower and higher temperatures. This is presumably why the testes are located outside the body. There are a number of mechanisms to maintain the testes at the optimum temperature.
+
[[zh:睪丸]]
+
[[zh-tw:睪丸]]
====Cremasteric muscle====
 
The [[cremasteric muscle]] is part of the [[spermatic cord]]. When this muscle contracts, the cord is shortened and the testicle is moved closer up toward the body, which provides slightly more warmth to maintain optimal testicular temperature. When cooling is required, the cremasteric muscle relaxes and the testicle is lowered away from the warm body and is able to cool. It also occurs in response to stress (the testicles rise up toward the body in an effort to protect them in a fight). There are persistent reports that relaxation indicates approach of orgasm.{{Citation needed|date=May 2008}} There is a noticeable tendency to also retract during orgasm.{{citation needed|date=April 2012}}
 
 
The cremaster muscle can reflexively raise each testicle individually if properly triggered. This phenomenon is known as the [[cremasteric reflex]]. The testicles can also be lifted voluntarily using the [[pubococcygeus]] muscle, which partially activates related muscles.
 
 
==Development==
 
There are two phases in which the testes grow substantially; namely in embryonic and pubertal age.
 
 
===Embryonic===
 
During mammalian development, the gonads are at first capable of becoming either [[ovary|ovaries]] or testes.<ref>Online textbook: "[http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/bv.fcgi?call=bv.View..ShowTOC&rid=dbio.TOC&depth=2 Developmental Biology]" 6th ed. By Scott F. Gilbert (2000) published by Sinauer Associates, Inc. of Sunderland (MA).</ref> In humans, starting at about week 4 the gonadal rudiments are present within the [[intermediate mesoderm]] adjacent to the developing kidneys. At about week 6, [[sex cords]] develop within the forming testes. These are made up of early Sertoli cells that surround and nurture the [[germ cell]]s that migrate into the gonads shortly before sex determination begins. In males, the sex-specific gene [[SRY]] that is found on the Y-chromosome initiates sex determination by downstream regulation of sex-determining factors, (such as GATA4, SOX9 and AMH), which leads to development of the male phenotype, including directing development of the early bipotential gonad down the male path of development.
 
 
Testes follow the "path of descent" from high in the posterior fetal abdomen to the inguinal ring and beyond to the [[inguinal canal]] and into the [[scrotum]]. In most cases (97% full-term, 70% [[preterm]]), both testes have descended by birth. In most other cases, only one testis fails to descend ([[cryptorchidism]]) and that will probabaly express itself within a year.
 
 
===Pubertal===
 
The testes grow in response to the start of [[spermatogenesis]]. Size depends on lytic function, sperm production (amount of spermatogenisis present in testis), [[interstitial fluid]], and [[Sertoli cell]] fluid production. After puberty, the volume of the testes can be increased by over 500% as compared to the pre-pubertal size.{{Citation needed|date=February 2007}} Testicles are fully descended before one reaches puberty.
 
 
==Evolution==
 
===External testes===
 
The basal condition for mammals is to have internal testes. Only the [[Boreoeutheria]]n land mammals, the large group of mammals that includes humans, have externalized testes{{Citation needed|date=March 2012}}. Their testes function best at temperatures lower than their core body temperature. Their testes are located outside of the body, suspended by the spermatic cord within the scrotum. The testes of the non-boreotherian mammals such as the [[monotremes]], [[armadillo]]s, [[sloth]]s, [[elephant]]s remain within the abdomen.<ref>http://www.uwyo.edu/wjm/Repro/spermat.htm</ref> There are also some Boreoeutherian mammals with internal testes, such as the rhinoceros.
 
 
Marine boreotherian mammals, such as whales and dolphins, also have internal testes, but it has recently been shown (e.g., for dolphins) that they use elaborate vascular networks to provide the necessary temperature lowering for optimum function. As external testes would increase drag, many boreotherian aquatic mammals have internal testes which are kept cool by special circulatory systems that cool the arterial blood going to the testes by placing the arteries near veins bringing cooled venous blood from the skin.
 
 
There are several hypotheses why most boreotherian mammals have external testes which operate best at a temperature that is slightly less than the core body temperature, e.g. that it is stuck with enzymes evolved in a colder temperature due to external testes evolving for different reasons, that the lower temperature of the testes simply is more efficient for sperm production.
 
 
'''1) More efficient.''' The classic hypothesis is that cooler temperature of the testes allows for more efficient fertile [[spermatogenesis]]. In other words, there are no possible enzymes operating at normal core body temperature that are as efficient as the ones evolved, at least none appearing in our evolution so far.
 
 
The early mammals had lower body temperatures and thus their testes worked efficiently within their body. However it is argued that boreotherian mammals have higher body temperatures than the other mammals and had to develop external testes to keep them cool. It is argued that those mammals with internal testes, such as the monotremes, armadillos, sloths, elephants, and rhinoceroses, have a lower core body temperatures than those mammals with external testes.
 
 
However, the question remains why birds despite having very high core body temperatures have internal testes and did not evolve external testes.<ref name =bio>http://www.biolreprod.org/cgi/reprint/56/6/1570.pdf BIOLOGY OF REPRODUCTION 56, 1570-1575 (1997)- Determination of Testis Temperature Rhythms and Effects of Constant Light on Testicular Function in the Domestic Fowl (Gallus domesticus)</ref> It was once theorized that birds used their [[air sac]]s to cool the testes internally, but later studies revealed that birds' testes are able to function at core body temperature.<ref name=bio/>
 
 
Some mammals which have seasonal breeding cycles keep their testes internal until the breeding season at which point their testes descend and increase in size and become external.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.askabiologist.org.uk/punbb/viewtopic.php?id=653 |title=Ask a Biologist Q&A / Human sexual physiology - good design? |publisher=Askabiologist.org.uk |date=2007-09-04 |accessdate=2010-10-25}}</ref>
 
 
'''2) Irreversible adaptation to sperm competition'''. It has been suggested that the ancestor of the boreoeutherian mammals was a small mammal that required very large testes (perhaps rather like those of a [[hamster]]) for [[sperm competition]] and thus had to place its testes outside the body.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://richarddawkins.net/article,865,The-Human-Body-as-an-Evolutionary-Patchwork,Alan-Walker-Princetonedu |title='The Human Body as an Evolutionary Patchwork' by Alan Walker, Princeton.edu |publisher=RichardDawkins.net |date=2007-04-10 |accessdate=2010-10-25}}</ref> This led to enzymes involved in spermatogenesis, spermatogenic DNA polymerase beta and recombinase activities evolving a unique temperature optimum, slightly less than core body temperature. When the boreoeutherian mammals then diversified into forms that were larger and/or did not require intense sperm competition they still produced enzymes that operated best at cooler temperatures and had to keep their testes outside the body. This position is made less parsimonious by the fact that the [[kangaroo]], a non-boreoeutherian mammal, has external testicles. The ancestors of kangaroos might, separately from boreotherian mammals, have also been subject to heavy sperm competition and thus developed external testes, however, kangaroo external testes are suggestive of a possible adaptive function for external testes in large animals.
 
 
'''3) Protection from abdominal cavity pressure changes.''' One argument for the evolution of external testes is that it protects the testes from abdominal cavity pressure changes caused by jumping and galloping.<ref>[http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg15120432.000-science--bumpy-lifestyle-led-to-external-testes.html Newscientist.com - bumpy-lifestyle-led-to-external-testes]</ref>
 
 
===Testicular size===
 
[[File:Orchidometry.jpg|thumb|250px|A human testicle is being measured with an orchidometer and is typically 15 to 25 ml in volume.]]
 
Testicular size as a proportion of body weight varies widely. In the mammalian kingdom, there is a tendency for testicular size to correspond with multiple mates (e.g., harems, [[polygamous|polygamy]]). Production of testicular output sperm and spermatic fluid is also larger in [[polygamous]] animals, possibly a [[Sperm competition|spermatogenic competition]] for survival. The testes of the [[right whale]] are likely to be the largest of any animal, each weighing around 500&nbsp;kg (1,100&nbsp;lb).<ref>{{cite web |url=http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Eubalaena_glacialis.html |author=Crane, J. |coauthors=Scott, R. |year=2002 |title=Eubalaena glacialis |work=Animal Diversity Web |accessdate=2009-05-01}}</ref>
 
 
Among the [[Hominidae]], [[gorilla]]s have little female promiscuity and sperm competition and the testes are small compared to body weight (0.03%). [[Chimpanzee]]s have high promiscuity and large testes compared to body weight (0.3%). Human testicular size falls between these extremes (0.08%).<ref name=Shackelford>{{cite doi|10.1111/j.1467-8721.2007.00473.x}}</ref>
 
 
There is some evidence to suggest that average human testicle size and weight has been progressively shrinking in recent years among younger cohorts in Western industrialized nations. This has been associated with a declining [[sperm count]]. The recent changes suggest some environmental or lifestyle factor(s) such as increasing exposure to [[endocrine disruptor]]s.<ref>
 
{{cite journal
 
| author=Dindyal, S.
 
| title=The sperm count has been decreasing steadily for many years in Western industrialised countries: Is there an endocrine basis for this decrease?
 
| journal=The Internet Journal of Urology
 
| volume=2
 
| issue=1
 
| pages=1–21
 
| year=2007
 
| url=http://www.ispub.com/journal/the-internet-journal-of-urology/volume-2-number-1/the-sperm-count-has-been-decreasing-steadily-for-many-years-in-western-industrialised-countries-is-there-an-endocrine-basis-for-this-decrease.html}}</ref>
 
 
<!--==Non-mammalian testes==-->
 
Testis weight also varies in seasonal breeders like [[deer]] and [[horses]]. The change is related to changes in testosterone production.
 
 
==Health issues==
 
{{Main|Testicular disease}}
 
===Physical injury===
 
{{See|Testicular pain}}
 
*The testicles are well-known to be very sensitive to impact and injury. The pain involved travels up from each testicle into the abdominal cavity, via the [[spermatic plexus]], which is the primary nerve of each testicle. This will cause pain in the hip and the back. The pain usually goes away in a few minutes.
 
*[[Testicular torsion]] is a medical emergency. Treatment within 4-6 hours of onset can prevent necrosis of the testis.<ref>S. Khan, J. Rehman, B. Chughtai, D. Sciullo, E. Mohan & H. Rehman: [http://www.ispub.com/journal/the_internet_journal_of_urology/volume_6_number_2_41/article_printable/anatomical-approach-to-scrotal-emergencies-a-new-paradigm-for-the-diagnosis-and-treatment-of-the-acute-scrotum.html "Anatomical Approach to Scrotal Emergencies: A New Paradigm for the Diagnosis and Treatment of the Acute Scrotum"]. ''The Internet Journal of Urology''. (2010) Volume 6: Number 2. {{ISSN|1528-8390}}.</ref>
 
*[[Testicular rupture]] is a medical emergency caused by blunt force impact, sharp edge, or piercing impact to one or both testicles, which can lead to necrosis of the testis in as little as 30 minutes.{{Citation needed|date=February 2010}}
 
*Penetrating injuries to the scrotum may cause [[castration]], or physical separation or destruction of the testes, possibly along with part or all of the penis, which results in total sterility if the testicles are not reattached quickly.
 
 
===Diseases and conditions that affect the testes===
 
Some prominent conditions and differential diagnoses include:
 
*[[Testicular cancer]] and other [[neoplasms]] To improve the chances of catching possible cases of [[testicular cancer]] or other health issues early, regular [[testicular self-examination]] is recommended.
 
*[[Varicocele]], swollen vein(s) from the testes, usually affecting the left side,<ref>{{cite web|url=http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/varicocele.html |title=Varicocele |publisher=Kidshealth.org |date= |accessdate=2010-10-25}}</ref> the testis usually being normal
 
*[[Hydrocele testis]], swelling around testes caused by accumulation of clear liquid within a membranous sac, the testis usually being normal
 
*[[Endocrine disorders]] can also affect the size and function of the testis.
 
*Certain inherited conditions involving mutations in key developmental genes also impair testicular descent, resulting in abdominal or inguinal testes which remain nonfunctional and may become cancerous. Other genetic conditions can result in the loss of the [[Wolffian ducts]] and allow for the persistence of [[Müllerian ducts]].
 
*[[Bell Clapper Deformity]] is a deformity in which the testicle is not attached to the scrotal walls, and can rotate freely on the spermatic cord within the tunica vaginalis. This deformity has been linked to [[Testicular torsion]].
 
*[[Epididymitis]], a painful inflammation of the epididymus usually (though not always) caused by bacterial infection.
 
 
===Effects of exogenous hormones===
 
To some extent, it is possible to change testicular size. Short of direct injury or subjecting them to adverse conditions, e.g., higher [[temperature]] than they are normally accustomed to, they can be shrunk by competing against their intrinsic hormonal function through the use of externally administered steroidal hormones. [[Steroids]] taken for muscle enhancement (especially [[anabolic steroids]]) often have the undesired side effect of testicular shrinkage.
 
 
Similarly, stimulation of testicular functions via [[gonadotropin|gonadotropic-like hormones]] may enlarge their size. Testes may shrink or atrophy during [[Hormone therapy|hormone replacement therapy]] or through [[chemical castration]].
 
 
In all cases, the loss in testes volume corresponds with a loss of spermatogenesis.
 
 
==Historical beliefs about testicles==
 
{{Main|Sex selection}}
 
 
In the Middle Ages, men who wanted a boy sometimes had their left testicle removed. This was because people believed that the right testicle made "boy" sperm and the left made "girl" sperm.<ref>
 
[http://www.thetech.org/genetics/ask.php?id=76 Understanding genetics; Human health and genome] Stanford school of medicine, Dr. Barry Starr</ref> As early as 330 BC, [[Aristotle]] prescribed the ligation (tying off) of the left testicle in men wishing to have boys.<ref>Hoag, Hannah. [http://dfire.org/x1405.xml I'll take a girl, please... ''Cherry-picking from the dish of life'']. Drexel University Publication.</ref>
 
 
==Etymology==
 
The etymology of the word is based on [[Roman law]]. The [[Latin]] word "''testis''", witness, was used in the firmly established legal principle "''Testis unus, testis nullus''" (one witness [equals] no witness), meaning that testimony by any one person in court was to be disregarded unless corroborated by the testimony of at least another. This led to the common practice of producing two witnesses, bribed to testify the same way in cases of lawsuits with ulterior motives. Since such "witnesses" always came in pairs, the meaning was accordingly extended, often in the diminutive (''testiculus, testiculi'').{{Citation needed|date=May 2008}}
 
 
Another theory says that ''testis'' is influenced by a loan translation, from Greek ''parastatēs'' "defender (in law), supporter" that is "two glands side by side".<ref>[[The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language]], Fourth Edition</ref>
 
 
==As a food==
 
{{Main|Animelles}}
 
Testicles of a male calf or other livestock are used to comprise a dish, sometimes called [[Rocky Mountain oysters]].<ref>[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/3651400.stm Reviving a very delicate delicacy]</ref>
 
 
==Gallery==
 
<center><gallery>
 
Image:Hanging testicles.JPG| Testicle hanging on cremaster muscle. These are two healthy testicles. Heat causes them to descend, allowing cooling.
 
Image:Human_Scrotum.JPG| A healthy [[scrotum]] containing normal size testes. The scrotum is in tight condition. The image also shows the texture.
 
Image:Testicle-cat.jpg|Testicle of a cat: 1: Extremitas capitata, 2: Extremitas caudata, 3: Margo epididymalis, 4: Margo liber, 5: Mesorchium, 6: Epididymis, 7: testicular artery and vene, 8: Ductus deferens
 
Image:Illu testis surface.jpg|Testis surface
 
Image:Illu testis cross section.jpg|Testis cross section
 
Image:Gray1148.png|The right testis, exposed by laying open the tunica vaginalis.
 
Image:Rabbitttestis100x2.jpg|Microscopic view of Rabbit testis 100×
 
File:Slide8eee.JPG|Testicle
 
</gallery></center>
 
 
==See also==
 
{{Wiktionary|testes}}
 
{{Sister project links}}
 
*[[Anorchia]]
 
*[[cryptorchidism]] (cryptorchismus)
 
*[[Polyorchidism]]
 
*[[Infertility]]
 
*[[List of homologues of the human reproductive system]]
 
*[[Orchidometer]]
 
*[[Spermatogenesis]]
 
*[[Sterilization (surgical procedure)]], [[vasectomy]]
 
*[[Testicondy]]
 
*[[Epididymis]]
 
*[[Spermatic cord]]
 
*[[Penis]]
 
*[[Perineum]]
 
*[[Bollocks]]
 
*[[Wiktionary:WikiSaurus:testicles|WikiSaurus:testicles]]&nbsp;— the [[Wiktionary|WikiSaurus]] list of synonyms and slang words for testicles in many languages
 
 
==Notes==
 
{{reflist}}
 
 
<!---->
 
{{Anatomy}}
 
{{Male reproductive system}}
 
{{endocrine system}}
 
 
[[Category:Glands]]
 
[[Category:Endocrine system]]
 
[[Category:Male reproductive system]]
 
 
{{Link FA|de}}
 
 
[[af:Testikel]]
 
[[als:Hoden]]
 
[[am:ቆለጥ]]
 
[[ar:خصية]]
 
[[an:Testiclo]]
 
[[arc:ܐܫܟܐ]]
 
[[bn:শুক্রাশয়]]
 
[[zh-min-nan:Lān-hu̍t]]
 
[[be:Яечкі]]
 
[[be-x-old:Яечкі]]
 
[[bg:Тестис]]
 
[[bs:Testisi]]
 
[[br:Divgell]]
 
[[ca:Testicle]]
 
[[cs:Varle]]
 
[[sn:Jende]]
 
[[cy:Caill]]
 
[[da:Testikel]]
 
[[de:Hoden]]
 
[[dv:އޮށް]]
 
[[el:Όρχεις]]
 
[[es:Testículo]]
 
[[eo:Testiko]]
 
[[eu:Barrabil]]
 
[[fa:خایه]]
 
[[fr:Testicule]]
 
[[ga:Uirí]]
 
[[gl:Testículo]]
 
[[ko:고환]]
 
[[hy:Ամորձի]]
 
[[hi:अंडकोष]]
 
[[hr:Sjemenik]]
 
[[io:Testikulo]]
 
[[id:Testis]]
 
[[iu:ᐃᒡᔪᒃ]]
 
[[ik:Igruk]]
 
[[is:Eista]]
 
[[it:Testicolo]]
 
[[he:אשך]]
 
[[jv:Testis]]
 
[[kk:Жұмалақ]]
 
[[ku:Batî]]
 
[[la:Testis (membrum)]]
 
[[lv:Sēklinieks]]
 
[[lt:Sėklidė]]
 
[[hu:Here (anatómia)]]
 
[[mk:Тестис]]
 
[[ml:വൃഷണം]]
 
[[mr:वृषण]]
 
[[mzn:بلی]]
 
[[nah:Tanahtli]]
 
[[nl:Teelbal]]
 
[[ne:अण्डकोष]]
 
[[ja:精巣]]
 
[[no:Testikkel]]
 
[[nn:Testiklar]]
 
[[nds:Klööt]]
 
[[pl:Jądro (anatomia)]]
 
[[pt:Testículo]]
 
[[ro:Testicul]]
 
[[qu:Q'uruta]]
 
[[ru:Яички]]
 
[[se:Bállu]]
 
[[scn:Cugghiuni (testìculu)]]
 
[[simple:Testicle]]
 
[[sk:Semenník (anatómia)]]
 
[[sl:Moda (organ)]]
 
[[sr:Тестис]]
 
[[sh:Testis]]
 
[[su:Téstis]]
 
[[fi:Kives]]
 
[[sv:Testikel]]
 
[[tl:Bayag]]
 
[[te:వృషణం]]
 
[[th:อัณฑะ]]
 
[[tr:Testis]]
 
[[uk:Сім'яники]]
 
[[vec:Cojon]]
 
[[vi:Tinh hoàn]]
 
[[zh-yue:睾丸]]
 
[[zh:睾丸]]
 

Revision as of 21:25, July 15, 2012

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Testicles?
Eggs
Testicles
“Testiclay are seriously underrated. I was born with 100 of them they're that good and two just wouldn't do me justice.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Tesicles
“Slitting my own testicle in two!”
~ me on nut slitting

Testicles are also referred to as "nigger eggs" by those in the medical profession. Oval or boner shaped they are contained inside the rectum, or what is medically referred to as the "brown eye", "poop chute", or "asshole" For example "Your mom likes my testicles in her asshole."

They serve no apparent purpose and are not to be confused with the faggots, a pointy propogational device which indicates the general vector of thought in the male "species". One retard believes God created them to stick in the male species for taking a bite out of some delicious apple. These testicles are not to be confused with Testicles of Scrotum, the most famous Greek pedophile.

In the scrotum, where the testicles are held, the right testicle should explode right after birth, causing intense pain slightly lower than the left testicle. If this is not true of your testicles, you have Cancer and will probably die unless you sacrifice a human baby to God. This condition may also give your ejaculations a slight fruity taste and turn you into a flaming homosexual.

Common Uses

Nature s Testicles
Plants have testicles too!

Many people don't realize that amputated testicles serve many purposes. In America, they are used as chewing gum along with the foreskin. In some regions of Africa, they are burned as incense during the ceremonial sacrificing of the pebbles and bottle of Coca-Cola that fell from the sky. In England, amputated testicles are often placed in the knees of short people in order to encourage growth.

Some Italian scientists made a ridiculous theory up in 1923, they believed the testicles actually contained and produced a micro organism they called "sperm" which was used for "the creation of babies." They believed the sperm came out when a man ejaculates, but we all know the substance is penis juice, formed in the mountains of Peru. The US government sorted out the scientists by castrating them, the lying bastards. Some people today still believe this is true, and should also be castrated for their ridiculous misconception.

Other terms for testes

Testecles
Not to be confused with the Greek hero Testecles.
  • Apricots
  • The Old Men
  • Wrinkly-face
  • Cheech & Chong
  • Golden Bullet
  • iBalls
  • Fluff Bags
  • Beanbag (Mexican)
  • Mini coconuts (beware of the toxic "ball-sack" milk from the North.)
  • Juicy egg-eggs
  • Fucking nuts: As in "Ah my fucking nuts, you dirty prostitute bitch!"
  • Love lumps
  • Bolas
  • Little sacks of joy
  • The boys
  • Little sacks of annoyance
  • Little sacks of pain
  • Collons
  • Nuts in a sling
  • Brown melons
  • Los amigos
  • Balls
  • Cherries
  • Oranges
  • The gum you sat in
  • Gurt Growths
  • Cusba
  • Testicley
  • Fall Out Boy
  • Huevos de fidel castro
  • Jewlez
  • Nucking Futs
  • Hacky Sacks
  • The Hairy Twins
  • Bubblegum Bandits
  • Double trouble
  • Spermies
  • Botox Bunnies
  • Hair Balls
  • Noah's Delight
  • Chocolate Scoops
  • Peanuts
  • Joy Dept.
  • Sack Lunch
  • Cojones
  • Talegas
  • My Chemical Romance
  • Dan Lapp
  • The Satchel
  • Meat And Two Vegge
  • Will and Shatner
  • Family Jewels
  • Pelotas
  • Teabag
  • Mah Mangoes
  • timmy and the kids
  • Meatballs
  • Jessica's delights
  • The octagon and Tom O'leery
  • Sarah Palin
  • Balls of steel
  • midget
  • Wedding vegetables
  • Mault Balls (Though only used to describe blacks)
  • Li'l baby makers
  • Mike and Freddy

At 350 Degrees

When testicles are heated to 350 degrees celsius, they will reach the next stage of evolution and begin to repeat their name to any trainor who happens to catch them on the open range. One pair of Testicles ran for office in France, won the title of President in 1989. This although did not stop the blacks from getting in during early 2008

Testicles in Statistics and Math

In a very recent study, made in Israel, some new amazing facts were found: The population of women in the world is over 50% of the entire population. The percentile of men with three or more testicles is a whole lot less than the percentile of men with one or none testicles. Therefore, is was a shocking revaltion when the Israeli scientists announced in a 2006 science conference: "We believe that there are more people on Earth then the sum of its testicles: There is less than one testicle per a human being". Although none solutions were suggested it was promised to be the major event in the conference of 2007. Meanwhile, the fact that there is a negative ratio of testicle per a human being, made a lot of gambling agents, bookies and hungarian politicians to commit suicide.

“I will donate my body to science to increase the poor testicle per a human being ration”
~ Albert Einstein on Testicle ratio

In the conference of 2007, scientists and scholars from all around the world decided to improve the man/testicle ratio by founding "The Association for the Testicle". The association (shortly "Ass for Test" or "ASS") decided to do so by making the - Testicle donor card. ASS says that the solution seems not effective but after about a century we will begin seeing the result. The honorable Israel scientist, Alexander Zainanak said - "We may not be here forever, but testicles will always live on".

Sentimental Value

A recent poll revealed that 98.7% of males actually name their own testicles, and think of them as little friends. Some even entertain themselves by putting on puppet shows featuring their own testicles. Mr. Rogers displayed his on camera in an unaired episode of his television show, and said, "I named one Skippy, and the other one Jamal,and they're my best friends. I always have them to talk to when I'm feeling down, or depressed. So remember, young children, if your dad gets wasted, throws your refrigerator out a window, and assaults you with a latex glove, just remember that your little friends will always be with you." Some people have even gone so far as to suggest that testicles are indeed small, loveable little creatures who live inside the scrotum for the sole purpose of providing fun and friendship for their male hosts. This theory is supported by an incident that occurred in 1994, when a janitor reported that one of his testicles "didn't like" the other one, and that they "wouldn't stop attacking each other." Also, 30% of males have reported hearing soft chirping sounds coming from inside their scrotoms, though again, this evidence has never been substantiated.

Little Known Facts

Sacklunch
A diagram of a man holding his Sack Lunch, which is his food.
  • When a testicle is severed, planted in the ground, watered, and fertilised adequately, it will grow into a Baby Tree, providing giggly, happy babies for Barren Women. This must, however, be done during a new moon.
  • Dried in the sun, testicles make excellent Bouncy Balls!
  • Women have testicles too! Unlike male testicles, female testicles are greatly enlarged and located on the chest. Women often wear athletic supporters known by the slang term "brassieres" to protect them.
  • Often used during a homerun celebration video
  • it has been claimed that testicles are bio-thermonuclear radar devices given by Ultra Jesus to all mankind.
  • The 'Adam's apple' so prominent on Ann Coulter is actually a testicle, believed to belong to either Bill O'Reilly or George W. Bush. Attempts to remove it have met with fierce resistance from Ms Coulter herself.
  • Your mom likes testicles.

See Also

Personal tools
projects