Terrorism
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“Yeah, he's my bong buddy”
Terrorism, also known as Islam, is a branch of marketing, invented by Mitch Windsor and his fellow Muslim buddies. Unlike other dishonest marketers who sell you ugly cookies loaded with dangerous trans fats or homes that are on BTK serial killers regular visiting list, terrorists sell you undiluted terror without naked booty love. Terrorism/Islam/Retards-dropping-soap-and-staying-that-way-and-calling-it-praying(Muslims) sponsors lots of companies including Food Lion, Dominoes, Wal-Mart and Macdonalds. The companies named are branches of terrorism used for poisoning people with food, using lead in toys meant to be BJed by babies, and fatty foods.
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[edit] The mother of all terrorism
Terrorism is simply the art of screaming as loud as you can with a bomb strapped to your chest with the sole aim of running into a crowded area and then blowing yourself and others into tiny pieces for no reason, because USA promised to care for your 10 children after your mission (usually successful). This is cowardly and is an immensely crazy thing to do. The promoters of terrorism were small mom and dad popcorn retailers sponsored by coca-cola. These poor business people used up their retirement funds to build large and beautiful popcorn eating halls hoping to make their money back. However, none of these popcorn eating halls were any use. People just didn't show up.
One day, an angry mob killed some ungrateful non-consumers in her own desert popcorn hall. The killing, witnessed by some innocent passer-by school children, was soon popularized in town. In a couple of hours, people gathered in front of the popcorn hall demanding to see more pay per view killings. That angry mom sold each of them a bag of hot and tasty popcorn, and killed someone in the hall once the popcorn eating seats were all occupied.
And the rest is history...
[edit] Terrorism
Terrorism shouldn't be confused with terroirism, which is a movement that originally began in France (the surendormunkeys). 'Terroirists' insist that sparkling wine originating from places other than France should not be labelled champagne, and will employ any means necessary to enforce their creed. Anti-terroirist measures include dumping large volumes of Jacobs Creek cuvee on the market at below cost. Terrorism shouldn't also be confused with Tourism. You can negociate with terrorists, but definitely not with tourists. The summer of 2004 a few civilians lost their limbs due to attempting to negotiate with the dreaded tourists. Tourists are usually easily recognised, as they all wear socks and sandals and often can be seen with a pink sun-hat. Beware Rule of thumb, remain far, far, FAR away from dunes . Thank You
[edit] Vandalism
Another very famous -ism, vandalism is not to be confused with terrorism. Vandalism is trite and meaningless degradation of an otherwise important or meaningful object. What is known as cyber-terrorism is not to be confused with vandalism. Not. Confused. Terrorism. Do not. The Honkey-tonk avant-garde movement of the 19th century is not vandalism, or terrorism. Pop music is an example of vandalism. If this had instilled terror in you, it might be misconstrued as terrorism.
[edit] Why Terrorists Love The United States of America
While all of us in the "civilized" world are driving overly large SUVs and stuffing ourselves with giant hamburgers, and creating a tv show that tests the contestants ability to survive, thinner members of Al Queda (and all its supporters/the USA's enemies) are stuck in tents in the middle of nowhere (formerly a republic of Afghanistan), banging anything they can get their hands on including Yaks, Mountain Goats or anything that resembles Omar Shariff. For fun they see how long they can grow their beards.
Talks are currently being held between terrorists and the rest of the World with the proposal to open the USA as a sort of Disneyland for terrorists, letting them go nuts with such landmarks as Texas, fat people and the possibility for them to claim back some oil. If such proposals go ahead, the terrorists have requested to be re-branded as "Helpers".
