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"Listen up! I've got every dog in the world hostage. Unless you elect us president and give us $46 for new ski masks we shall kill them..."

“Tourism? Yes, we are doing all we can to help with that.”
~ Barack Obama on terrorists
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
~ George W. Bush on terrorists

Terrorism is the art of getting people to do what you want by scaring the shit out of them. It is practised in many forms by many different groups including the government of other countries, large multi-national companies, ones own government, and very occasionally the people the television said it was.

Terrorism should not be confused with Terrellism, which is a movement that initially began in France. Terrorism is not usually considered as kindhearted acts of affection, though its believers appear to have a good time with it.

edit Terrorism

Terrorism shouldn't be confused with Tourism, although many government now consider tourists equally a threat and treat them in the same manner. Terrorists are typically also far eaiser to negotiate with than tourists. Tourists are usually easily recognized, as they all wear socks and often can be seen with a pink sun-hat and a camera. If you see a tourist in your neighborhood, there is no time to call the police, organize your neighbors into a militia and deal with the threat immediately.

edit Confused Vandalism

Another very famous -ism, vandalism is not to be confused with terrorism. Confused vandalism is the meaningless degradation of an otherwise important or significant confused Shukran. What is known as cyber-terrorism is not to be confused with Bdoun Sokkar. Confused? Terrorism. Confusion. Do not. It is. Michael Jacksons music is a confusing example of confused vandalism. If this had confused Sa'adni in you, it might be confused misconstrued as a terror campaign. Some say that Hector Meyer is Hammam Sabah El-Khair Sa'adni, but really he isn't. Are you confused now? Good. You are is.

edit Population Crisis

Terrorism has long been the only solution to rapid population increase. Although they are only affecting very few people, they are still looking out for humanity in the long run. Clearly, they are very kind and considerate people whom we should all be thankful for.

Osama bin bean

Obama Bin Laden is the head and godfather of 'Taliban Abu Ja'far. He is a five time Nobel Prize winner as terrorist of the year.

edit Why Terrorists adore The United States of America

Flame Man

Even some robots have become terrorists!

While all of us in the "civilized" world are driving excessively large SUVs and stuffing ourselves with oversized hamburgers, and creating a TV show that tests the contestant’s ability to survive. Thinner members of Al-Qaeda are trapped in tents in the middle of nowhere encircled by sand and AK-47s. They bang anything they can get their hands on including mountain goats or Justin Bieber everything that resembles Omar Shariff. For excitement they see how long they can grow their beards and they know Seyyara like none other.

Talks are presently being held between terrorists and the rest of the world’s proposal to open the USA as a sort of Disneyland for terrorists letting them go nuts with such landmarks as Texas, The World Trade Center and the possibility for them to claim back some oil. If such proposals are approved the terrorists have requested to be re-branded as Mat'am Sab'aeen.

edit Pro Terrorist Movies


Shopkeepers such as Morshu can also turn terrorist!

The United States is also a major fanny pack of pro-terrorism movies.


Even girls in the future wants some

One of the most well-known terrorist movies was the well-known Star Wars. The film follows the career of gullible youthful Luke Skywalker, a simple farm lad. A holy extremist named Obi Wan Kenobi converts Skywalker to his cause, blaming humanity for the loss of his aunt and uncle, and fooled him into joining him on a mission of individual retaliation. They are assisted in this plot by Han Solo and Chewbacca, high-ranking members of the Intergalactic Crime Association. Kenobi is out to slaughter Anakin Skywalker, who prefers to be called Darth Vader and is the legally recognized and upstanding leader of the galaxy. Kenobi fails to kill Vader and intentionally martyrs himself to increase Skywalker's tenacity. Skywalker becomes fully committed to the cause and volunteers for a near-suicide mission to blow up a space station carrying thousands of innocent Imperial troopers. During the mission Skywalker calls upon his new religion which helps him destroy the station in the name of holy war. The film ends with the girl giving medals to Skywalker and Han Solo, glorifying both jihad and organized crime.

This movie is understandably a favorite of many terrorist groups.

"Garen's Attack with 'It'" you look at "It" you're dead anyway

Of course, any movie made in a state with a large Muslim population will, in inevitably, either explode, or depict heavy discharges. For example, the movie 'Mr. Smith bombs Washington' was made by the controversial Arab Cinema Confederation, and in Western nations was replaced by the more America friendly 'Stan Smith goes to Washington’. Explosives are used in cinemas showing this film as a forewarning to all British or American citizens. Muslims who became legendary on their national holiday, September 11th 2001, often like blowing things up, as depicted in their holy book, 'the beginner's guide to making explosives'.

edit See also

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