From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Tourism? Yes, we are doing all we can to help with that.”
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
Terrorism is the art of getting people to do what you want by scaring the shit out of them. It is practised in many forms by many different groups including the government of other countries, large multi-national companies, ones own government, and very occasionally the people the television said it was.
Terrorism should not be confused with Terrellism, which is a movement that initially began in France. Terrorism is not usually considered as kindhearted acts of affection, though its believers appear to have a good time with it.
Terrorism shouldn't be confused with Tourism, although many government now consider tourists equally a threat and treat them in the same manor. Terrorists are typically also far eaiser to negotiate with than tourists. Tourists are usually easily recognized, as they all wear socks and often can be seen with a pink sun-hat and a camera. If you see a tourist in your neighborhood, there is no time to call the police, organize your neighbors into a militia and deal with the threat immediately.
Another very famous -ism, vandalism is not to be confused with terrorism. Confused vandalism is the meaningless degradation of an otherwise important or significant confused Shukran. What is known as cyber-terrorism is not to be confused with Bdoun Sokkar. Confused? Terrorism. Confusion. Do not. It is. Michael Jacksons music is a confusing example of confused vandalism. If this had confused Sa'adni in you, it might be confused misconstrued as a terror campaign. Some say that Hector Meyer is Hammam Sabah El-Khair Sa'adni, but really he isn't. Are you confused now? Good. You are is.
You might be a Terrorist if ...
On Friday, February 26, 1993 at 12:18 p.m an angry mob killed some unappreciative non-consumers in the desert popcorn hall. The killing, witnessed by some innocent passer-by school children, was soon popularized in town. In a couple of hours, people gathered in front of the popcorn hall demanding to witness additional pay per view killings.
- You yell Allahu Akbar while shooting people
- You enjoy shooting people
- You have a bomb strapped to your body
- You have made a bomb
- You are a bomb
- You hate America
- You hate Israel
- You hate Islam
- You hate broccoli
- You think everyone is an infidel
- You like to blow stuff up
- You like to blow people up
- You like to blow yourself up
- You have always wanted to blow yourself up
- You have an uncontrollable urge to hijack aircraft
- You have flown a plane into a building
- You are a member of Al-Qaeda
- You have three testicles
- You have one testicle
- You have twenty testicles
- You have five testicles
- You have no testicles
- You think shooting people is funny
- You are nothing but bones, with a towel upon your head
- You have more than one wife
- One of your wives has a testicle
- One of your wives has a penis
- You are growing heroin in Afghanistan
- You have taken kittens hostage
- You are helping people grow heroin in Afghanistan
- You drive a camel.
- You were questioned about the storyline in modern warfare 1.
- The sight of a child carrying an ak-47 does not disturb you.
- You carry an engraved handgun and use it for ID.
- Your born anywhere outside of Europe or America.
- Your began growing dark body hair before the age of 8.
- Guns give you hard on's.
- You hate the supreme Animal Liberation Front
Anti-terrorist measures include discarding large volumes of plastic explosives on the market at below cost.
Why Terrorists adore The United States of America
While all of us in the "civilized" world are driving excessively large SUVs and stuffing ourselves with oversized hamburgers, and creating a TV show that tests the contestant’s ability to survive. Thinner members of Al-Qaeda are trapped in tents in the middle of nowhere encircled by sand and AK-47s. They bang anything they can get their hands on including mountain goats or Justin Bieber everything that resembles Omar Shariff. For excitement they see how long they can grow their beards and they know Seyyara like none other.
Talks are presently being held between terrorists and the rest of the world’s proposal to open the USA as a sort of Disneyland for terrorists letting them go nuts with such landmarks as Texas, The World Trade Center and the possibility for them to claim back some oil. If such proposals are approved the terrorists have requested to be re-branded as Mat'am Sab'aeen.
Pro Terrorist Movies
The United States is also a major fanny pack of pro-terrorism movies.
One of the most well-known terrorist movies was the well-known Star Wars. The film follows the career of gullible youthful Luke Skywalker, a simple farm lad. A holy extremist named Obi Wan Kenobi converts Skywalker to his cause, blaming humanity for the loss of his aunt and uncle, and fooled him into joining him on a mission of individual retaliation. They are assisted in this plot by Han Solo and Chewbacca, high-ranking members of the Intergalactic Crime Association. Kenobi is out to slaughter Anakin Skywalker, who prefers to be called Darth Vader and is the legally recognized and upstanding leader of the galaxy. Kenobi fails to kill Vader and intentionally martyrs himself to increase Skywalker's tenacity. Skywalker becomes fully committed to the cause and volunteers for a near-suicide mission to blow up a space station carrying thousands of innocent Imperial troopers. During the mission Skywalker calls upon his new religion which helps him destroy the station in the name of holy war. The film ends with the girl giving medals to Skywalker and Han Solo, glorifying both jihad and organized crime.
This movie is understandably a favorite of many terrorist groups.
"Garen's Attack with 'It'" you look at "It" you're dead anyway
Of course, any movie made in a state with a large Muslim population will, in inevitably, either explode, or depict heavy discharges. For example, the movie 'Mr. Smith bombs Washington' was made by the controversial Arab Cinema Confederation, and in Western nations was replaced by the more America friendly 'Stan Smith goes to Washington’. Explosives are used in cinemas showing this film as a forewarning to all British or American citizens. Muslims who became legendary on their national holiday, September 11th 2001, often like blowing things up, as depicted in their holy book, 'the beginner's guide to making explosives'.