Puerto Rico, Cuba, and Florida will be hit by 17 simultaneous hurricanes, all of them with stupid names, some of them running out of rain and instead using slightly damp tea bags to inflict property damage.
Starting in Scotland, expect golf ball size hail at tee-off.
Acid-tripping meteorologists may be responsible for continuing unprecedented Atlantic tropical storms.
In the orogenous zone, expect vertically erect systems to occur despite rear-end inflow.
In summary, expect light beer drizzles here and there.
Special Weather Report:
A clog occurred at Niagara Falls late yesterday, causing the world's largest case of irritable bowel syndrome.
Global Warming Indicator
This weather forecast has accurately depicted the weather on Jupiter twice.