Puerto Rico, Cuba, and Florida will be hit by 17 simultaneous hurricanes, all of them with stupid names, some of them running out of rain and instead using slightly damp tea bags to inflict property damage.
In India, no sun for at least a month or two, followed by a month or two of blazing sun every day.
On any random coastline, expect it to be like Christmas, at some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house from a hurricane.
In Texas, excessive rear end inflow may cause bulging tops in vertically erect systems and later cause overshooting tops.
In summary, expect light beer drizzles here and there.
Special Weather Report:
Climatologists expect Margaret Thatcher to thaw out this year.
Global Warming Indicator
The number of accurate forecasts to date equals the number of homeruns Barry Bonds has without the aid of steroids.