Template:UnNews Quick weather

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Worldwide Forecast at a Glance:

  • No weather will be given for the state of New Jersey - they're too far in debt to affoard it.


  • For this coming windy weekend, expect some blowing here and there.

  • On any random coastline, expect it to be like Christmas, at some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house from a hurricane.

  • In Nebraska, far from the moist tongue, suction vortices may disipate due to a choking downdraft.

  • In summary, cool showers, cold beer, and grilled bratwurst makes Jack a happy happy man.

Special Weather Report:

A pack of wild hurricanes were reported to be cited with public intoxication and slamming into continents without a license.

Global Warming Indicator

This mornings weather was bought to you by Charlton Heston and his cold dead brother.

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