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BURSLEM, Stroke on Trent, ENGLAND: Cancer Research UK's tireless fundraising efforts, coupled with a massive anonymous donation, suddenly flooded scientists in Stroke on Trent with research money, yesterday. Anxious to put it to use saving lives of cancer victims, they quickly began running tests on all sorts of fancy sciencey things that UnNews's ADD-ridden reporter couldn't concentrate on long enough to write down.
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