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LONDON, United Kingdom --

Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.

In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free Guinness tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.

Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in blinkers and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from Newcastle. Full story»

ROME, Italy

Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.

"It was the age problem", said the sober Silvio at a press conference, "she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty". Full story»

ROME, Italy --

The race to become the next Catholic Pope has got a lot of gamblers people eager to influence the choice of who replaces Pope Benedict XVI when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.

The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope Pope Alexander VI 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld heading another list on the Unknown knowns. Full story»

WASHINGTON DC -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that Syria’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred Plutocrats.

President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs. Full story»

EVIL WIKIA™ HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, California -- In order to address the flight from Wikia™ over issues of advertisements, Wikia™ has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.

"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said Jimbo Wales, CEO and evil overlord of Wikia™. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements. Full story»