Template:Lead articles

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<!--
 
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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Oscar-dress2.jpg
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|image = New NFL logo.png
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Iranian news adds burqa to Michelle Obama's_Oscars_dress
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|title = New NFL season begins with noses out of joint
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[Hollywood|HOLLYWOOD]]''' -- In the U.S., Michelle Obama’s wardrobe isn’t exactly considered racist or sexist or even nice. But apparently her gown for the Oscars, with its crotch design, was too bigoted for viewers in [[Iran]]. Fars News, a network in Iran, edited the First Lady’s dress in a story about her Academy Awards exploitation appearance posted on their website. In the photo, her ugly gray dress appears completely covered by an appealing blue Muslim burqa - as if she had enough grace to wear such feminine apparel.
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|summary = '''[[Boston|BOSTON]], [[Massachusetts]]''' -- The first two weeks of [[NFL]] [[American football|football]] have seen a rash of injuries mostly, hyperextended self-righteousness.
   
In the article, Fars News states that Obama handed out the best picture award to ''“the anti-Iranian film ‘Embargo.’”'' Iranian officials have repeatedly criticized the Ben Affleck film, which is quite unusual considering that the movie has not been screened in any Iranian theaters nor even seen by any Iranian officials.
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NFL stars stand accused of spousal assault, child-beating, letting the [[SUV]] engine idle, and failing to take a clean plate on each trip to the buffet. Commissioner Goodell has avoided watching incriminating videos, so as to reactivate players after token lifetime bans.
}}<!--
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Kateduchess01.jpg
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|image = Braveheart.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = I am a real woman says Princess Kate
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|title = Royals dodge a bullet
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''HOLYROOD, [[Scotland]]''' -- The failure of the [[Scottish]] independence vote assured a relieved [[United Kingdom]] that it will remain free to work the usual intractable problems rather than confront an entirely new set.
   
Beautiful, stunning, fantastic [[Kate Middleton|Princess Kate]] has been driven to [[wikipedia:Tiny Tears|Tiny Tears]] by the cruel taunts of the [[wikipedia:Cabbage Patch Doll|Boiled Cabbage Patch Doll]] that she is a lump of cheap plastic with no personality.
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[[Gordon Brown]] inspired his fellow Scots with his vision of union: 'There is not a cemetery in Europe that does not have Scots, English, Welsh and Irish lined side by side.'
   
Speaking at [[wikipedia:Hamley's|Hamley's]] ,Kate bravely laid into the '[[wikipedia:Hilary Mantel|ugly old hag Hilary]]' for saying she was only created to be a breeding machine for the British Royal Family Toy Range and said her opponent was 'way past her sell by date'.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Chariot_race.jpg
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|image = SalmondBeastie1.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Ikea corraled into horse-meat scandal
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|title = Hogwarts to stay in Scotland
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''STOCKHOLM, [[Sweden]]''' -- Swedish furniture giant [[Ikea]] became entangled in Europe's widening [[horse]]-meat scandal Monday, as regulators suspected the chain's [[meat]]balls of containing the mystery meat.
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|summary = '''[[Hogwarts|HOGWARTS]], [[Scotland]]''' -- There was dancing down the cloisters as top magic school '[[Hogwarts]]' confirmed they had beaten something even more horrible than [[Lord Voldemort]]: The [[Alex Salmond|Salmond Beastie]].
   
Testers in the [[Czech Republic]] found unspecified trace amounts of horse DNA in packages of meatballs that were supposed to contain only [[cow]] and [[pig]] [[DNA]]. Meatballs from the same batch were sent to 12 other European countries, resulting in a [[Europe|continent-wide]] food scare.
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Plans to move Hogwarts to a theme park near [[London]] will be 'reviewed' if another Beastie returns.
}}<!--
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-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Oprah-Exorcist.jpg
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|image = Lavainseam.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Vatican joins banned prayer lawsuit against Armstrong
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|title = Icelandic researchers: Volcanic gases have deleterious effects
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = ''''''[[Vatican|VATICAN]]''' -- The Vatican said Friday it has joined a confessional lawsuit against cyclist Lance Armstrong that was originally filed by some jilted fan boy in Idaho. Armstrong, the one time mythical and now legendary cyclist, has admitted to using performance-enhancing Protestant prayers banned by the Vatican. He was team rider when the Catholic Church sponsored him from 1996 to 2004 and Armstrong won seven of his six Tour de France titles, the Vatican said.
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|summary = '''[[Iceland|ÞORBJARGARHRAUN, Iceland]]''' -- As the eruption of Iceland's Bárðarbunga volcano continues unabated, volcanic gases have triggered public health emergencies across much of the country.
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The team's new chemist, an arctic fox carcass named Siggi, whispered, "Keep your head down, the Patriksfirðingar are approaching," while smearing activated carbon from his smashed air filter on his face as war paint.
   
The civil lawsuit alleges that Armstrong submitted false confessions every Saturday for many years so that the church would sponsor him, even though he was ''“regularly employing banned prayers and pagan rituals to enhance his performance in violation of the papal sponsorship agreement,”''
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Police-and-crowd.jpg
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|image = WalMart service.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation
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|title = Walmart further enslaves employees with "dress code"
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Johannesburg|JOHANNESBURG]], [[South Africa]]''' --
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|summary = '''BENTONVILLE, [[Arkansas]]''' -- Gigantic retailer [[Walmart]] cracked the whip yet again on its indentured "sales associates," by dictatorially requiring them to dress appropriately for [[work]].
   
The South African Police Authority have confirmed they have appointed one of their best dogs to take over the mismanaged investigation following the arrest of Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend.
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The creativity-killing ukase replaces the typical garb of a Walmart "associate," which was a T-shirt with playful slogans such as "Occupy Wall Street" or "Look for the Union Label," or photos of [[Che Guevara]] sure to elicit smiles from customers.
   
'''Rex''', a pure bred Afrikaans dog with a long history in (black) crowd control replaces Detective Hilton Botha who has been removed from the case as it turned out his skills were more of the school of Frank Drebin than [[Sherlock Holmes]]
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>
}}
 

Latest revision as of 23:16, September 19, 2014

New NFL logo
BOSTON, Massachusetts -- The first two weeks of NFL football have seen a rash of injuries — mostly, hyperextended self-righteousness.

NFL stars stand accused of spousal assault, child-beating, letting the SUV engine idle, and failing to take a clean plate on each trip to the buffet. Commissioner Goodell has avoided watching incriminating videos, so as to reactivate players after token lifetime bans. Full story»


Braveheart
HOLYROOD, Scotland -- The failure of the Scottish independence vote assured a relieved United Kingdom that it will remain free to work the usual intractable problems rather than confront an entirely new set.

Gordon Brown inspired his fellow Scots with his vision of union: 'There is not a cemetery in Europe that does not have Scots, English, Welsh and Irish lined side by side.' Full story»

SalmondBeastie1
HOGWARTS, Scotland -- There was dancing down the cloisters as top magic school 'Hogwarts' confirmed they had beaten something even more horrible than Lord Voldemort: The Salmond Beastie.

Plans to move Hogwarts to a theme park near London will be 'reviewed' if another Beastie returns. Full story»


Lavainseam
ÞORBJARGARHRAUN, Iceland -- As the eruption of Iceland's Bárðarbunga volcano continues unabated, volcanic gases have triggered public health emergencies across much of the country.

The team's new chemist, an arctic fox carcass named Siggi, whispered, "Keep your head down, the Patriksfirðingar are approaching," while smearing activated carbon from his smashed air filter on his face as war paint. Full story»

WalMart service
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas -- Gigantic retailer Walmart cracked the whip yet again on its indentured "sales associates," by dictatorially requiring them to dress appropriately for work.

The creativity-killing ukase replaces the typical garb of a Walmart "associate," which was a T-shirt with playful slogans such as "Occupy Wall Street" or "Look for the Union Label," or photos of Che Guevara sure to elicit smiles from customers. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • panic for "PANIC in the SKIES"
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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