Template:Lead articles

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<!--
 
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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
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|short_title_ =
 
|short_title_ =
 
|summary_ =
 
|summary_ =
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}}http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Template:Lead_articles?action=edit<!--
   
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Oscar-dress2.jpg
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|dept = PANIC in the SKIES
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|image = Woodpecker1.JPG
|title = Iranian news adds burqa to Michelle Obama's_Oscars_dress
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|title = Weasel first to get woodpecker pilot licence
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[Hollywood|HOLLYWOOD]]''' -- In the U.S., Michelle Obama’s wardrobe isn’t exactly considered racist or sexist or even nice. But apparently her gown for the Oscars, with its crotch design, was too bigoted for viewers in [[Iran]]. Fars News, a network in Iran, edited the First Lady’s dress in a story about her Academy Awards exploitation appearance posted on their website. In the photo, her ugly gray dress appears completely covered by an appealing blue Muslim burqa - as if she had enough grace to wear such feminine apparel.
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|summary = '''[[England|WILD WOOD FOREST, England]]''' -- A [[weasel]] has qualified to fly woodpeckers, the first woodland air ambulance pilot in Wild Wood Forest.
   
In the article, Fars News states that Obama handed out the best picture award to ''“the anti-Iranian film ‘Embargo.’”'' Iranian officials have repeatedly criticized the Ben Affleck film, which is quite unusual considering that the movie has not been screened in any Iranian theaters nor even seen by any Iranian officials.
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Captain Weasel began his career as a delivery driver, but felt there was more to life, and was inspired to give his species raise a more positive profile by an episode of ''[[Animal]] Rescue.''
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Kateduchess01.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Spock hand.jpg
|title = I am a real woman says Princess Kate
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|title = Mr. Spock passes away
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Starfleet|STARFLEET]]''' -- [[Mr. Spock]] passed away Friday, the victim of a [[temporal paradox]] through repeated [[time travel]], which implies that he may never have been alive at all.
   
Beautiful, stunning, fantastic [[Kate Middleton|Princess Kate]] has been driven to [[wikipedia:Tiny Tears|Tiny Tears]] by the cruel taunts of the [[wikipedia:Cabbage Patch Doll|Boiled Cabbage Patch Doll]] that she is a lump of cheap plastic with no personality.
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He was hospitalized last week but was released several days later. If he achieved this with more time travel, it is possible that he was never hospitalized to begin with. He regretted having [[Smoking|smoked]], though it is not clear why he didn't just go further back in time and hide his butts.
   
Speaking at [[wikipedia:Hamley's|Hamley's]] ,Kate bravely laid into the '[[wikipedia:Hilary Mantel|ugly old hag Hilary]]' for saying she was only created to be a breeding machine for the British Royal Family Toy Range and said her opponent was 'way past her sell by date'.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Chariot_race.jpg
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|dept = none
<!-- |type = -->
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|image = Boris Nemtsov.jpg
|title = Ikea corraled into horse-meat scandal
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|title = Putin adversary dies; the West is baffled
<!-- |short_title = -->
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|short_title = So does Nemtsov
|summary ='''STOCKHOLM, [[Sweden]]''' -- Swedish furniture giant [[Ikea]] became entangled in Europe's widening [[horse]]-meat scandal Monday, as regulators suspected the chain's [[meat]]balls of containing the mystery meat.
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|summary = '''[[Moscow|MOSCOW]], [[Russia]]''' -- Mourners for Boris Nemtsov were consoled by police explaining that the gunshots to the back were ruled a quadruple [[suicide]] tragic, as the necessary dexterity and stamina meant it was a loss of true talent.
   
Testers in the [[Czech Republic]] found unspecified trace amounts of horse DNA in packages of meatballs that were supposed to contain only [[cow]] and [[pig]] [[DNA]]. Meatballs from the same batch were sent to 12 other European countries, resulting in a [[Europe|continent-wide]] food scare.
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Or it might have been the work of [[Islam]]ic terrorists making it look as though Putin had him killed for his rhetoric. Spokesmen said it showed uncanny cleverness for the enemies of Russia to rub out an enemy of Russia just to make Putin look bad.
}}<!--
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-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Oprah-Exorcist.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Blackgerbilrat1.jpg
|title = Vatican joins banned prayer lawsuit against Armstrong
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|title = Rats sue gerbils for libel
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = ''''''[[Vatican|VATICAN]]''' -- The Vatican said Friday it has joined a confessional lawsuit against cyclist Lance Armstrong that was originally filed by some jilted fan boy in Idaho. Armstrong, the one time mythical and now legendary cyclist, has admitted to using performance-enhancing Protestant prayers banned by the Vatican. He was team rider when the Catholic Church sponsored him from 1996 to 2004 and Armstrong won seven of his six Tour de France titles, the Vatican said.
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|summary = '''[[Oslo|OSLO]], [[Norway]]''' -- [[Rats]] have brought a genus-action lawsuit for libel after scientists in Norway revealed that the true carriers of the [[Black Death]] were [[Gerbil|gerbils]].
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Researchers writing in the Journal of the British Rodent Guild explain why the plague, which wiped half of [[Europe]]'s population in the mid 14th century, spread so quickly — gerbils were being passed around openly in cages as playthings — unlike rats, which no one will touch, unless they're [[Goths]] or into the occult.
   
The civil lawsuit alleges that Armstrong submitted false confessions every Saturday for many years so that the church would sponsor him, even though he was ''“regularly employing banned prayers and pagan rituals to enhance his performance in violation of the papal sponsorship agreement,”''
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Police-and-crowd.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Charles the tweaker.png
|title = Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation
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|title = Denver man binge-watches new House of Cards season twice
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Johannesburg|JOHANNESBURG]], [[South Africa]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Denver|DENVER]], [[Colorado]]''' -- In the early hours of last Saturday morning, a Denver man [[Twitter|tweeted]] claiming to be the first person to binge-watch the new season of ''House of Cards'' twice, barely a day after its initial release.
 
The South African Police Authority have confirmed they have appointed one of their best dogs to take over the mismanaged investigation following the arrest of Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend.
 
   
'''Rex''', a pure bred Afrikaans dog with a long history in (black) crowd control replaces Detective Hilton Botha who has been removed from the case as it turned out his skills were more of the school of Frank Drebin than [[Sherlock Holmes]]
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Viewer "Charles" called his buddy for some meth for the occasion, offering to trade his "nut." Charles' contact seemed disinterested in his [[testicle]]s, however, and more inclined towards [[cash]] which Charles, in his own words, "also had."
   
}}
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 15:38, March 4, 2015

Woodpecker1
UnNews Logo Potato1PANIC in the SKIES
WILD WOOD FOREST, England -- A weasel has qualified to fly woodpeckers, the first woodland air ambulance pilot in Wild Wood Forest.

Captain Weasel began his career as a delivery driver, but felt there was more to life, and was inspired to give his species raise a more positive profile by an episode of Animal Rescue. Full story»


Spock hand
STARFLEET -- Mr. Spock passed away Friday, the victim of a temporal paradox through repeated time travel, which implies that he may never have been alive at all.

He was hospitalized last week but was released several days later. If he achieved this with more time travel, it is possible that he was never hospitalized to begin with. He regretted having smoked, though it is not clear why he didn't just go further back in time and hide his butts. Full story»

Boris Nemtsov
MOSCOW, Russia -- Mourners for Boris Nemtsov were consoled by police explaining that the gunshots to the back were ruled a quadruple suicide — tragic, as the necessary dexterity and stamina meant it was a loss of true talent.

Or it might have been the work of Islamic terrorists making it look as though Putin had him killed for his rhetoric. Spokesmen said it showed uncanny cleverness for the enemies of Russia to rub out an enemy of Russia just to make Putin look bad. Full story»


Blackgerbilrat1
OSLO, Norway -- Rats have brought a genus-action lawsuit for libel after scientists in Norway revealed that the true carriers of the Black Death were gerbils.

Researchers writing in the Journal of the British Rodent Guild explain why the plague, which wiped half of Europe's population in the mid 14th century, spread so quickly — gerbils were being passed around openly in cages as playthings — unlike rats, which no one will touch, unless they're Goths or into the occult. Full story»

Charles the tweaker
DENVER, Colorado -- In the early hours of last Saturday morning, a Denver man tweeted claiming to be the first person to binge-watch the new season of House of Cards twice, barely a day after its initial release.

Viewer "Charles" called his buddy for some meth for the occasion, offering to trade his "nut." Charles' contact seemed disinterested in his testicles, however, and more inclined towards cash — which Charles, in his own words, "also had." Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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