Template:Lead articles

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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Oscar-dress2.jpg
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|image = Ribbon-cutting in Parral.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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|type = urgent
|title = Iranian news adds burqa to Michelle Obama's_Oscars_dress
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|title = Russians set to seize rest of Nevada
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[Hollywood|HOLLYWOOD]]''' -- In the U.S., Michelle Obama’s wardrobe isn’t exactly considered racist or sexist or even nice. But apparently her gown for the Oscars, with its crotch design, was too bigoted for viewers in [[Iran]]. Fars News, a network in Iran, edited the First Lady’s dress in a story about her Academy Awards exploitation appearance posted on their website. In the photo, her ugly gray dress appears completely covered by an appealing blue Muslim burqa - as if she had enough grace to wear such feminine apparel.
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|summary = '''SNAKE'S HIPS, [[Nevada]]''' -- Troops resembling the [[Russian]] [[Army]], presumably not satisfied with the capture of the [[Crimea River|Crimea]] last month, seem ready to bite off a huge chunk off the tip of this [[pizza]]-shaped Western [[U.S.]] state. Defending the territory 80 miles northeast of [[Las Vegas]] is a rag-tag [[Tea Party movement|citizen militia]], fresh from a home showing of ''Red Dawn'' and ready to take on the Roosky invaders.
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Rancher Cliven Bundy, who became famous as the hard-luck women's shoe salesman in ''Married with Children,'' told [[Glenn Beck]] it is bigger than a financial dispute.
   
In the article, Fars News states that Obama handed out the best picture award to ''“the anti-Iranian film ‘Embargo.’”'' Iranian officials have repeatedly criticized the Ben Affleck film, which is quite unusual considering that the movie has not been screened in any Iranian theaters nor even seen by any Iranian officials.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Kateduchess01.jpg
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|image = SalmondMissile.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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<!-- |type = breaking -->
|title = I am a real woman says Princess Kate
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|title = Salmond shoots down helicopter over Aberdeen
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''ABERDEEN, [[UK]]''' -- [[Scottish]] First Minister [[Alex Salmond|Alex Salmond]] shot down a [[British Army]] helicopter over the city of [[Aberdeen]].
   
Beautiful, stunning, fantastic [[Kate Middleton|Princess Kate]] has been driven to [[wikipedia:Tiny Tears|Tiny Tears]] by the cruel taunts of the [[wikipedia:Cabbage Patch Doll|Boiled Cabbage Patch Doll]] that she is a lump of cheap plastic with no personality.
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In a press availability, with his blue face paint shimmering in the heat of the moment, Mr. Salmond blamed Westminster for sending it. [[David Cameron]] said that a planned election this Wednesday on uniting Aberdeen with neighbouring [[Dundee]] to create a new "[[Scotland|Scottish Kingdom]]" is illegal. But [[Nigel Farage]] said he admires Mr. Salmond for "standing up to the West."
   
Speaking at [[wikipedia:Hamley's|Hamley's]] ,Kate bravely laid into the '[[wikipedia:Hilary Mantel|ugly old hag Hilary]]' for saying she was only created to be a breeding machine for the British Royal Family Toy Range and said her opponent was 'way past her sell by date'.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Chariot_race.jpg
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|image = Medvedev02.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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<!-- |type = breaking -->
|title = Ikea corraled into horse-meat scandal
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|title = UKIP leader to become Russian Prime Minister for a month
<!-- |short_title = -->
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|short_title = Farage to guest as Russian PM
|summary ='''STOCKHOLM, [[Sweden]]''' -- Swedish furniture giant [[Ikea]] became entangled in Europe's widening [[horse]]-meat scandal Monday, as regulators suspected the chain's [[meat]]balls of containing the mystery meat.
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|summary = '''[[Moscow|MOSCOW]], [[Russia]]''' -- [[Vladimir Putin]] announced that British [[UKIP]] party leader [[Nigel Farage]] will stand in as temporary Prime Minister of [[Russia]]. Farage, who has taken UKIP to centre stage by shoving hot custard pies down the trousers of British Prime Minister [[David Cameron]], said he was 'delighted' with the offer, which will involve opening fetes, kissing babies and sucking the toes of Russia's oligarchs.
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French National Front leader [[wikipedia:Marine Le Pen|Marine Le Pen]] was said to be 'keen as Dijon mustard' to have to have her turn as Putin's girl.
   
Testers in the [[Czech Republic]] found unspecified trace amounts of horse DNA in packages of meatballs that were supposed to contain only [[cow]] and [[pig]] [[DNA]]. Meatballs from the same batch were sent to 12 other European countries, resulting in a [[Europe|continent-wide]] food scare.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Oprah-Exorcist.jpg
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|image = Onyango Obama.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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<!-- |type = exclusive -->
|title = Vatican joins banned prayer lawsuit against Armstrong
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|title = Aunt Zeituni "self-deports"
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = ''''''[[Vatican|VATICAN]]''' -- The Vatican said Friday it has joined a confessional lawsuit against cyclist Lance Armstrong that was originally filed by some jilted fan boy in Idaho. Armstrong, the one time mythical and now legendary cyclist, has admitted to using performance-enhancing Protestant prayers banned by the Vatican. He was team rider when the Catholic Church sponsored him from 1996 to 2004 and Armstrong won seven of his six Tour de France titles, the Vatican said.
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|summary = '''[[Boston|BOSTON]], [[Massachusetts]]''' -- Zeituni Onyango, the [[aunt]] of [[President]] [[Barack Obama]], has "self-deported" at the age of 61, as candidate [[Mitt Romney]] predicted many [[illegal alien]]s would. She is likely to clear immigration in [[Purgatory]] prior to a final border-crossing down the [[River Styx]].
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Cleveland attorney Margaret Wong argued that Onyango would risk persecution if she returned to [[Africa|Kenya]] — for having a [[dope]] for a nephew. The [[Republican Party]] has dropped all opposition to programs for illegals, but it reassures the [[Tea Party movement]] that hundreds of illegals will leave the United States on their own every year, just as Ms. Onyango now has.
   
The civil lawsuit alleges that Armstrong submitted false confessions every Saturday for many years so that the church would sponsor him, even though he was ''“regularly employing banned prayers and pagan rituals to enhance his performance in violation of the papal sponsorship agreement,”''
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Police-and-crowd.jpg
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|image = Broken monitor.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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<!-- |type = breaking -->
|title = Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation
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|title = Windows XP becomes suddenly useless
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Johannesburg|JOHANNESBURG]], [[South Africa]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Washington (state)|REDMOND, Washington]]''' -- {{InlineMedia|Windows XP becomes suddenly useless}} [[Microsoft]] has ended support for the popular [[Windows XP]] operating system, placing "a big [[neon]] bull's-eye on it." This means that, as fewer people use XP, hackers will somehow see it as a better target.
   
The South African Police Authority have confirmed they have appointed one of their best dogs to take over the mismanaged investigation following the arrest of Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend.
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Experts say that XP, while working fine, is now [[Fashion|unfashionable]] and thus, "If it ain't broke, find another way to sell something different," which was also the basis of [[Barack Obama|Obama-care]], Cash for Clunkers, and the [[Y2K]] crisis, when all business software had to be studied or replaced just in case it was one of the six programs where 1999 failed to roll over to 2000.
   
'''Rex''', a pure bred Afrikaans dog with a long history in (black) crowd control replaces Detective Hilton Botha who has been removed from the case as it turned out his skills were more of the school of Frank Drebin than [[Sherlock Holmes]]
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>
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Latest revision as of 01:53, April 16, 2014


Ribbon-cutting in Parral
UnNewsURGENT
SNAKE'S HIPS, Nevada -- Troops resembling the Russian Army, presumably not satisfied with the capture of the Crimea last month, seem ready to bite off a huge chunk off the tip of this pizza-shaped Western U.S. state. Defending the territory 80 miles northeast of Las Vegas is a rag-tag citizen militia, fresh from a home showing of Red Dawn and ready to take on the Roosky invaders.

Rancher Cliven Bundy, who became famous as the hard-luck women's shoe salesman in Married with Children, told Glenn Beck it is bigger than a financial dispute. Full story»


SalmondMissile
ABERDEEN, UK -- Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond shot down a British Army helicopter over the city of Aberdeen.

In a press availability, with his blue face paint shimmering in the heat of the moment, Mr. Salmond blamed Westminster for sending it. David Cameron said that a planned election this Wednesday on uniting Aberdeen with neighbouring Dundee to create a new "Scottish Kingdom" is illegal. But Nigel Farage said he admires Mr. Salmond for "standing up to the West." Full story»

Medvedev02
MOSCOW, Russia -- Vladimir Putin announced that British UKIP party leader Nigel Farage will stand in as temporary Prime Minister of Russia. Farage, who has taken UKIP to centre stage by shoving hot custard pies down the trousers of British Prime Minister David Cameron, said he was 'delighted' with the offer, which will involve opening fetes, kissing babies and sucking the toes of Russia's oligarchs.

French National Front leader Marine Le Pen was said to be 'keen as Dijon mustard' to have to have her turn as Putin's girl. Full story»


Onyango Obama
BOSTON, Massachusetts -- Zeituni Onyango, the aunt of President Barack Obama, has "self-deported" at the age of 61, as candidate Mitt Romney predicted many illegal aliens would. She is likely to clear immigration in Purgatory prior to a final border-crossing down the River Styx.

Cleveland attorney Margaret Wong argued that Onyango would risk persecution if she returned to Kenya — for having a dope for a nephew. The Republican Party has dropped all opposition to programs for illegals, but it reassures the Tea Party movement that hundreds of illegals will leave the United States on their own every year, just as Ms. Onyango now has. Full story»

Broken monitor
REDMOND, Washington -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) Microsoft has ended support for the popular Windows XP operating system, placing "a big neon bull's-eye on it." This means that, as fewer people use XP, hackers will somehow see it as a better target.

Experts say that XP, while working fine, is now unfashionable and thus, "If it ain't broke, find another way to sell something different," which was also the basis of Obama-care, Cash for Clunkers, and the Y2K crisis, when all business software had to be studied or replaced just in case it was one of the six programs where 1999 failed to roll over to 2000. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Return to the UnNews Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.
  • type — Normally none or leave blank. Otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • urgent
    • editorial (2.1) for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column (2.1) for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature (2.1) for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using any of the above parameters (typically type and short_title), comment out the whole thing to prevent it from interfering with the template. To use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it.
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