Template:Lead articles

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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles. Click Preview and
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detailed instructions will appear.
   
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
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|dept = none
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|image = Sewel.jpg
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|title = Lord Sewel: It wasn't coke and whores
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|summary = '''[[London|WESTMINSTER, London]]''' -- Lord Sewel insisted that [[video]] footage allegedly showing the Peer snorting [[cocaine]] off two prostitute's chests was merely a misinterpreted "family video."
   
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
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Sewel added that, despite these accusations, he has no intention of quitting his position as arbiter of standards and conduct in the [[House]] of Lords.
   
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
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Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
   
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
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1A-SPOT-->{{Lead article
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{{Lead articles 2/a
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|image = Mitch McConnell.jpg
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|title = US Senators do a deal
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|title = Iranian news adds burqa to Michelle Obama's_Oscars_dress
 
 
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|summary ='''[[Hollywood|HOLLYWOOD]]''' -- In the U.S., Michelle Obama’s wardrobe isn’t exactly considered racist or sexist or even nice. But apparently her gown for the Oscars, with its crotch design, was too bigoted for viewers in [[Iran]]. Fars News, a network in Iran, edited the First Lady’s dress in a story about her Academy Awards exploitation appearance posted on their website. In the photo, her ugly gray dress appears completely covered by an appealing blue Muslim burqa - as if she had enough grace to wear such feminine apparel.
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C]]''' -- The [[U.S. Senate]] met in a rare Sunday session so that both [[Political party|political parties]] could show they had not grown rusty at hypocrisy.
   
In the article, Fars News states that Obama handed out the best picture award to ''“the anti-Iranian film ‘Embargo.’”'' Iranian officials have repeatedly criticized the Ben Affleck film, which is quite unusual considering that the movie has not been screened in any Iranian theaters nor even seen by any Iranian officials.
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The occasion was the [[highway]] spending bill, on which both parties were allowed amendments. Republicans got to vote to repeal [[Obama-care]], as it had been weeks since such a vote. Like the previous four dozen votes, it had no actual effect. Democrats, for their part, revived the '''Export-Import Bank''' then resumed bashing the [[rich]].
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|image = Martin O'Malley.jpg
|title = I am a real woman says Princess Kate
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|title = US parties fight spate of plain-speaking
 
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|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- {{InlineMedia|US parties fight spate of plain-speaking}} Both [[U.S.]] [[Political party|political parties]] are racing to get a handle on an [[annoying]] spate of candidates speaking plainly.
   
Beautiful, stunning, fantastic [[Kate Middleton|Princess Kate]] has been driven to [[wikipedia:Tiny Tears|Tiny Tears]] by the cruel taunts of the [[wikipedia:Cabbage Patch Doll|Boiled Cabbage Patch Doll]] that she is a lump of cheap plastic with no personality.
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The issue came to a [[head]] as [[Democrat]] Martin O'Malley improvised at a <code>#BlackLivesMatter</code> rally, declaring that "white lives matter." However, the [[Republican Party]] is also in turmoil, as [[Donald Trump]] said [[Mexican]]s who violate U.S. [[immigration]] law might not have the nation's best interests at heart.
   
Speaking at [[wikipedia:Hamley's|Hamley's]] ,Kate bravely laid into the '[[wikipedia:Hilary Mantel|ugly old hag Hilary]]' for saying she was only created to be a breeding machine for the British Royal Family Toy Range and said her opponent was 'way past her sell by date'.
 
 
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|image = Ant cartoon.jpg
|title = Ikea corraled into horse-meat scandal
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|title = Ant-Man killed in patio accident
 
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|summary ='''STOCKHOLM, [[Sweden]]''' -- Swedish furniture giant [[Ikea]] became entangled in Europe's widening [[horse]]-meat scandal Monday, as regulators suspected the chain's [[meat]]balls of containing the mystery meat.
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|summary = '''[[New York|NEW YORK CITY]]''' -- The [[Superhero]] world is in deep shock this morning as one of the [[planet]]’s very first — but until recently, mostly unknown — superhero '''Ant-Man''' was tragically burned to [[death]] by a 500&deg;C. [[heat]] ray of focused energy directly from the [[sun]] yesterday.
   
Testers in the [[Czech Republic]] found unspecified trace amounts of horse DNA in packages of meatballs that were supposed to contain only [[cow]] and [[pig]] [[DNA]]. Meatballs from the same batch were sent to 12 other European countries, resulting in a [[Europe|continent-wide]] food scare.
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On the verge of being the first superhero from the formicate [[insect]] family to become a household name, Ant-Man stood no chance as seven-year-old Zach Thompson incinerated the compact crime-fighter with a magnifying glass as he was transiting a garden patio in a [[Brooklyn]] suburb.
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|title = Vatican joins banned prayer lawsuit against Armstrong
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|title = Greek crisis enters crisis phase
 
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|summary = ''''''[[Vatican|VATICAN]]''' -- The Vatican said Friday it has joined a confessional lawsuit against cyclist Lance Armstrong that was originally filed by some jilted fan boy in Idaho. Armstrong, the one time mythical and now legendary cyclist, has admitted to using performance-enhancing Protestant prayers banned by the Vatican. He was team rider when the Catholic Church sponsored him from 1996 to 2004 and Armstrong won seven of his six Tour de France titles, the Vatican said.
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|summary = '''[[Brussels|BRUSSELS]], [[Belgium]] (updated)''' -- Eurozone ministers have turned the relative molehill of a [[Greek]] bailout deal into an Olympus-sized [[mountain]] that is straining the very foundations of the European Union.
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On the brink of making their first-ever right decision, the [[EU]] quickly returned to form by arguing about national agendas, backstabbing and general divisiveness.
   
The civil lawsuit alleges that Armstrong submitted false confessions every Saturday for many years so that the church would sponsor him, even though he was ''“regularly employing banned prayers and pagan rituals to enhance his performance in violation of the papal sponsorship agreement,”''
 
 
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|title = Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation
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|title = Tories propose BBC reforms
 
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|summary = '''[[Johannesburg|JOHANNESBURG]], [[South Africa]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Parliament|PARLIAMENT]], [[UK]]''' -- [[Culture]] Secretary John Whittingdale unveiled the [[Conservative Party]]'s white paper on the [[BBC]], saying it should not continue to be "all things to all people," especially now that there is a white paper that is.
The South African Police Authority have confirmed they have appointed one of their best dogs to take over the mismanaged investigation following the arrest of Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend.
 
   
'''Rex''', a pure bred Afrikaans dog with a long history in (black) crowd control replaces Detective Hilton Botha who has been removed from the case as it turned out his skills were more of the school of Frank Drebin than [[Sherlock Holmes]]
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But shadow culture secretary Chris Bryant claimed to be mystified by Government's proposal. He said the nation should be free to continue enjoying great presenters such as [[Jimmy Savile]] (pictured).
   
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 16:32, July 27, 2015

Sewel
WESTMINSTER, London -- Lord Sewel insisted that video footage allegedly showing the Peer snorting cocaine off two prostitute's chests was merely a misinterpreted "family video."

Sewel added that, despite these accusations, he has no intention of quitting his position as arbiter of standards and conduct in the House of Lords. Full story»

Mitch McConnell
WASHINGTON, D.C -- The U.S. Senate met in a rare Sunday session so that both political parties could show they had not grown rusty at hypocrisy.

The occasion was the highway spending bill, on which both parties were allowed amendments. Republicans got to vote to repeal Obama-care, as it had been weeks since such a vote. Like the previous four dozen votes, it had no actual effect. Democrats, for their part, revived the Export-Import Bank — then resumed bashing the rich. Full story»


Martin O&#039;Malley
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) Both U.S. political parties are racing to get a handle on an annoying spate of candidates speaking plainly.

The issue came to a head as Democrat Martin O'Malley improvised at a #BlackLivesMatter rally, declaring that "white lives matter." However, the Republican Party is also in turmoil, as Donald Trump said Mexicans who violate U.S. immigration law might not have the nation's best interests at heart. Full story»

Ant cartoon
NEW YORK CITY -- The Superhero world is in deep shock this morning as one of the planet’s very first — but until recently, mostly unknown — superhero Ant-Man was tragically burned to death by a 500°C. heat ray of focused energy directly from the sun yesterday.

On the verge of being the first superhero from the formicate insect family to become a household name, Ant-Man stood no chance as seven-year-old Zach Thompson incinerated the compact crime-fighter with a magnifying glass as he was transiting a garden patio in a Brooklyn suburb. Full story»


Tsakalotos
BRUSSELS, Belgium (updated) -- Eurozone ministers have turned the relative molehill of a Greek bailout deal into an Olympus-sized mountain that is straining the very foundations of the European Union.

On the brink of making their first-ever right decision, the EU quickly returned to form by arguing about national agendas, backstabbing and general divisiveness. Full story»

A14965461098200973A
PARLIAMENT, UK -- Culture Secretary John Whittingdale unveiled the Conservative Party's white paper on the BBC, saying it should not continue to be "all things to all people," especially now that there is a white paper that is.

But shadow culture secretary Chris Bryant claimed to be mystified by Government's proposal. He said the nation should be free to continue enjoying great presenters such as Jimmy Savile (pictured). Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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