Template:Lead articles

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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles. Click Preview and
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detailed instructions will appear.
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
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|arrange = left
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
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|dept = none
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|image = Chris Christie.jpg
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|title = Christie: Let's bar-code immigrants
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<!-- |short_title = -->
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|border = none
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|summary = '''LACONIA, [[New Hampshire]]''' -- Chris Christie ([[Republican Party|R]]-[[New Jersey|NJ]]) has proposed that a bar-coded sticker be attached to the forehead of every [[Illegal immigration|illegal immigrant]].
   
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
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Any federal official with a compatible wand could scan [[Mexicans]], to ensure that everyone standing around in the [[Home Depot]] parking lot arrives at some nearby [[construction]] site.
   
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
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Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
   
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
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1A-SPOT-->{{Lead article
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|arrange = right
Blank template:
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|dept = none
{{Lead articles 2/a
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|image = Kanye_God.jpg
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
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|title = Kanye enters race for Deity
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-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
|arrange = lead
 
|image = Oscar-dress2.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
|title = Iranian news adds burqa to Michelle Obama's_Oscars_dress
 
 
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|summary ='''[[Hollywood|HOLLYWOOD]]''' -- In the U.S., Michelle Obama’s wardrobe isn’t exactly considered racist or sexist or even nice. But apparently her gown for the Oscars, with its crotch design, was too bigoted for viewers in [[Iran]]. Fars News, a network in Iran, edited the First Lady’s dress in a story about her Academy Awards exploitation appearance posted on their website. In the photo, her ugly gray dress appears completely covered by an appealing blue Muslim burqa - as if she had enough grace to wear such feminine apparel.
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[Los Angeles|LOS ANGELES]], [[California]]''' -- [[Kanye West]] has announced he will run for Lord Almighty in 2020.
   
In the article, Fars News states that Obama handed out the best picture award to ''“the anti-Iranian film ‘Embargo.’”'' Iranian officials have repeatedly criticized the Ben Affleck film, which is quite unusual considering that the movie has not been screened in any Iranian theaters nor even seen by any Iranian officials.
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While accepting the [[MTV]] Video Vanguard award, West said that he has already became the savior of [[rock]], despite being a rapper and not a rock musician, so there is no reason why he can’t be the savior of [[mankind]].
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
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|image = Kateduchess01.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Panda eats bamboo.jpg
|title = I am a real woman says Princess Kate
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|title = Pandas being bamboozled into extinction
 
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|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|border = none
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|summary = '''BEIJING, [[China]]''' -- Famed for its voracious diet of bamboo and fighting evil snow leopards, the precious [[giant panda]] now carries the title of another one of [[Mother Nature]]'s little birth defects.
   
Beautiful, stunning, fantastic [[Kate Middleton|Princess Kate]] has been driven to [[wikipedia:Tiny Tears|Tiny Tears]] by the cruel taunts of the [[wikipedia:Cabbage Patch Doll|Boiled Cabbage Patch Doll]] that she is a lump of cheap plastic with no personality.
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"It eats what it's not supposed to," says a local hipster, "because [[irony]]."
   
Speaking at [[wikipedia:Hamley's|Hamley's]] ,Kate bravely laid into the '[[wikipedia:Hilary Mantel|ugly old hag Hilary]]' for saying she was only created to be a breeding machine for the British Royal Family Toy Range and said her opponent was 'way past her sell by date'.
 
 
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-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
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|dept = none
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|image = EdScheming.jpg
|title = Ikea corraled into horse-meat scandal
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|title = Corbyn chosen to wrest in peace in the Middle East
 
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|summary ='''STOCKHOLM, [[Sweden]]''' -- Swedish furniture giant [[Ikea]] became entangled in Europe's widening [[horse]]-meat scandal Monday, as regulators suspected the chain's [[meat]]balls of containing the mystery meat.
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[Newcastle|NEWCASTLE]]''' -- [[Labour]] have delayed the election of their leadership due to an absence of a key member of [[staff]] — and a signal failure at Clapham Junction. [[Jeremy Corbyn]] has taken an unexpected trip to [[Israel]] to serve as self-declared common-sense peace envoy to the World.
   
Testers in the [[Czech Republic]] found unspecified trace amounts of horse DNA in packages of meatballs that were supposed to contain only [[cow]] and [[pig]] [[DNA]]. Meatballs from the same batch were sent to 12 other European countries, resulting in a [[Europe|continent-wide]] food scare.
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The Party will hold off the leadership election campaign until the peace negotiations have ended, or until after Corbyn has [[died]] (even of natural causes, if it takes that).
}}<!--
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-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Oprah-Exorcist.jpg
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|dept = BIMBO ERUPTION
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|image = Megyn Kelly.jpg
|title = Vatican joins banned prayer lawsuit against Armstrong
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|title = Megyn Kelly shamed further
 
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|summary = ''''''[[Vatican|VATICAN]]''' -- The Vatican said Friday it has joined a confessional lawsuit against cyclist Lance Armstrong that was originally filed by some jilted fan boy in Idaho. Armstrong, the one time mythical and now legendary cyclist, has admitted to using performance-enhancing Protestant prayers banned by the Vatican. He was team rider when the Catholic Church sponsored him from 1996 to 2004 and Armstrong won seven of his six Tour de France titles, the Vatican said.
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[New York City|NEW YORK CITY]]''' -- Zillionaire casino magnate [[Donald Trump]] has [[Twitter|tweeted]] that his [[Fox News]] adversary, info-babe '''Megyn Kelly''', is a "bimbo."
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In its ongoing goal of giving newspeople equal treatment with newsmakers, UnNews interviewed Ms. Kelly to give her the chance to refute the credible allegation that she is mere eye-candy for horny couch [[potato]]es.
   
The civil lawsuit alleges that Armstrong submitted false confessions every Saturday for many years so that the church would sponsor him, even though he was ''“regularly employing banned prayers and pagan rituals to enhance his performance in violation of the papal sponsorship agreement,”''
 
 
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
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|image = Police-and-crowd.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = ChilcotInquiryHole.jpg
|title = Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation
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|title = Hawking: Information required for Chilcot Inquiry in black holes
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Johannesburg|JOHANNESBURG]], [[South Africa]]''' --
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[University of Cambridge|CAMBRIDGE]], [[UK]]''' -- [[Stephen Hawking|Professor Stephen Hawking]] and colleagues say the information on the [[Iraq War]] needed to complete the Chilcot Inquiry is located within [[black holes]] at the centre of the [[galaxy]].
The South African Police Authority have confirmed they have appointed one of their best dogs to take over the mismanaged investigation following the arrest of Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend.
 
   
'''Rex''', a pure bred Afrikaans dog with a long history in (black) crowd control replaces Detective Hilton Botha who has been removed from the case as it turned out his skills were more of the school of Frank Drebin than [[Sherlock Holmes]]
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[[David Cameron]] expressed his frustration at the lack of progress towards warp drive technology that would let officials reach the information in the black holes.
   
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 20:31, August 31, 2015

Chris Christie
LACONIA, New Hampshire -- Chris Christie (R-NJ) has proposed that a bar-coded sticker be attached to the forehead of every illegal immigrant.

Any federal official with a compatible wand could scan Mexicans, to ensure that everyone standing around in the Home Depot parking lot arrives at some nearby construction site. Full story»

Kanye God
LOS ANGELES, California -- Kanye West has announced he will run for Lord Almighty in 2020.

While accepting the MTV Video Vanguard award, West said that he has already became the savior of rock, despite being a rapper and not a rock musician, so there is no reason why he can’t be the savior of mankind. Full story»


Panda eats bamboo
BEIJING, China -- Famed for its voracious diet of bamboo and fighting evil snow leopards, the precious giant panda now carries the title of another one of Mother Nature's little birth defects.

"It eats what it's not supposed to," says a local hipster, "because — irony." Full story»

EdScheming
NEWCASTLE -- Labour have delayed the election of their leadership due to an absence of a key member of staff — and a signal failure at Clapham Junction. Jeremy Corbyn has taken an unexpected trip to Israel to serve as self-declared common-sense peace envoy to the World.

The Party will hold off the leadership election campaign until the peace negotiations have ended, or until after Corbyn has died (even of natural causes, if it takes that). Full story»


Megyn Kelly
UnNews Logo Potato1BIMBO ERUPTION
NEW YORK CITY -- Zillionaire casino magnate Donald Trump has tweeted that his Fox News adversary, info-babe Megyn Kelly, is a "bimbo."

In its ongoing goal of giving newspeople equal treatment with newsmakers, UnNews interviewed Ms. Kelly to give her the chance to refute the credible allegation that she is mere eye-candy for horny couch potatoes. Full story»

ChilcotInquiryHole
CAMBRIDGE, UK -- Professor Stephen Hawking and colleagues say the information on the Iraq War needed to complete the Chilcot Inquiry is located within black holes at the centre of the galaxy.

David Cameron expressed his frustration at the lack of progress towards warp drive technology that would let officials reach the information in the black holes. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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