Template:Lead articles

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m
(Obama muffs chip shot)
 
(256 intermediate revisions by 3 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
 
<!--
 
<!--
REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
+
This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
  +
It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
+
{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
Line 11: Line 11:
 
}}
 
}}
   
+
1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Oscar-dress2.jpg
+
|image = Obama shoots skeets.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Iranian news adds burqa to Michelle Obama's_Oscars_dress
+
|title = Journalist gets head cut off; Obama muffs chip shot
<!-- |short_title = -->
+
|short_title = Journalist killed — Obama muffs chip shot
|summary ='''[[Hollywood|HOLLYWOOD]]''' -- In the U.S., Michelle Obama’s wardrobe isn’t exactly considered racist or sexist or even nice. But apparently her gown for the Oscars, with its crotch design, was too bigoted for viewers in [[Iran]]. Fars News, a network in Iran, edited the First Lady’s dress in a story about her Academy Awards exploitation appearance posted on their website. In the photo, her ugly gray dress appears completely covered by an appealing blue Muslim burqa - as if she had enough grace to wear such feminine apparel.
+
|summary = '''CHILMARK, [[Massachusetts]]''' -- Shortly after race riots broke out in [[Missouri]], a beheading of a journalist broke out in [[Iraq]], causing a "heartbroken" [[Barack Obama|Obama]] to guide a key fairway drive to the [[Liberals|left]] (pictured).
   
In the article, Fars News states that Obama handed out the best picture award to ''“the anti-Iranian film ‘Embargo.’”'' Iranian officials have repeatedly criticized the Ben Affleck film, which is quite unusual considering that the movie has not been screened in any Iranian theaters nor even seen by any Iranian officials.
+
In separate news, another [[Russia]]n invasion broke out in [[Ukraine]], further threatening to distract his transformational Presidency.
}}<!--
+
  +
}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
+
2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Kateduchess01.jpg
+
|image = Pasty01.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
+
|type = navel-gazing
|title = I am a real woman says Princess Kate
+
|title = Uncyclopedia to replace Wikipedia in Google searches
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
+
|summary = '''[[San Francisco|SAN FRANCISCO]], [[California]]''' -- [[Google]] has announced that it has replaced [[Wikipedia]] with [[Uncyclopedia]] as its "trusted news source," following the success of Google's promotion of the British bakers [[Greggs]] and their novel advertising campaign, "Providing shit to scum for 70 years."
   
Beautiful, stunning, fantastic [[Kate Middleton|Princess Kate]] has been driven to [[wikipedia:Tiny Tears|Tiny Tears]] by the cruel taunts of the [[wikipedia:Cabbage Patch Doll|Boiled Cabbage Patch Doll]] that she is a lump of cheap plastic with no personality.
+
A spokesbot for Google confirmed that the change was due to the greater reach of Uncyclopedia to create important web traffic compared to "dull and drab" Wikipedia.
   
Speaking at [[wikipedia:Hamley's|Hamley's]] ,Kate bravely laid into the '[[wikipedia:Hilary Mantel|ugly old hag Hilary]]' for saying she was only created to be a breeding machine for the British Royal Family Toy Range and said her opponent was 'way past her sell by date'.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
+
  +
3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Chariot_race.jpg
+
|image = Hmor2.jpg‎
<!-- |type = -->
+
|type = navel-gazing
|title = Ikea corraled into horse-meat scandal
+
|title = Facebook set to tag "fake news"
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''STOCKHOLM, [[Sweden]]''' -- Swedish furniture giant [[Ikea]] became entangled in Europe's widening [[horse]]-meat scandal Monday, as regulators suspected the chain's [[meat]]balls of containing the mystery meat.
+
|summary = '''MENLO PARK, [[California]]''' -- Social-media giant [[Facebook]] announced it is experimenting with appending <code>[Satire]</code> to headlines from "the internet's unchecked hoax industry," a move that could falsely impugn UnNews itself.
   
Testers in the [[Czech Republic]] found unspecified trace amounts of horse DNA in packages of meatballs that were supposed to contain only [[cow]] and [[pig]] [[DNA]]. Meatballs from the same batch were sent to 12 other European countries, resulting in a [[Europe|continent-wide]] food scare.
+
A typical internet hoax may boast more than a quarter of a million Facebook shares, an amount that often requires a [[stockbroker]]. As that information spreads, it takes on the pall of truth faster than a pack-a-day [[smoke]]r.
}}<!--
+
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
+
}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
  +
  +
4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Oprah-Exorcist.jpg
+
|image = Policework01.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Vatican joins banned prayer lawsuit against Armstrong
+
|title = Ferguson riots enter second week
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = ''''''[[Vatican|VATICAN]]''' -- The Vatican said Friday it has joined a confessional lawsuit against cyclist Lance Armstrong that was originally filed by some jilted fan boy in Idaho. Armstrong, the one time mythical and now legendary cyclist, has admitted to using performance-enhancing Protestant prayers banned by the Vatican. He was team rider when the Catholic Church sponsored him from 1996 to 2004 and Armstrong won seven of his six Tour de France titles, the Vatican said.
+
|summary = '''FERGUSON, [[Missouri]]''' -- The urban [[riot]]s here began after a [[white]] [[police]] officer shot Michael Brown an unarmed [[African American|black]] teenager who had nearly begun turning his life around.
  +
  +
Sometimes, such a [[racist]] acts out even before his victim finishes stealing cigars and shoves aside the cashier before clashing with a policeman on his way home to put more [[photo]]s on [[Facebook]] of himself flipping people off.
   
The civil lawsuit alleges that Armstrong submitted false confessions every Saturday for many years so that the church would sponsor him, even though he was ''“regularly employing banned prayers and pagan rituals to enhance his performance in violation of the papal sponsorship agreement,”''
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
+
  +
3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Police-and-crowd.jpg
+
|image = Israelarmy01.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
+
<!-- |type = exclusive -->
|title = Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation
+
|title = Missouri Governor requests Israeli help
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Johannesburg|JOHANNESBURG]], [[South Africa]]''' --
+
|summary = '''[[WP:Jefferson City|JEFFERSON CITY]], [[Missouri]]''' -- Missouri Governor '''Jay Nixon''' formally asked [[Israel]] to help contain violence in Ferguson. Nixon bypassed [[Barack Obama's birth|Barack]] "[[Pontius Pilate]]" [[Barack Obama|Obama]], to go straight to the experts at crowd control.
   
The South African Police Authority have confirmed they have appointed one of their best dogs to take over the mismanaged investigation following the arrest of Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend.
+
The Governor said his request for Israeli security forces was "temporary" and that they will soon return to [[Gaza]] for the next <s>war</s> peacekeeping mission.
   
'''Rex''', a pure bred Afrikaans dog with a long history in (black) crowd control replaces Detective Hilton Botha who has been removed from the case as it turned out his skills were more of the school of Frank Drebin than [[Sherlock Holmes]]
+
}}<noinclude>{{-}}
+
{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>
}}
 

Latest revision as of 14:00, August 23, 2014

Obama shoots skeets
CHILMARK, Massachusetts -- Shortly after race riots broke out in Missouri, a beheading of a journalist broke out in Iraq, causing a "heartbroken" Obama to guide a key fairway drive to the left (pictured).

In separate news, another Russian invasion broke out in Ukraine, further threatening to distract his transformational Presidency. Full story»


Pasty01
UnNewsNAVEL-GAZING
SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Google has announced that it has replaced Wikipedia with Uncyclopedia as its "trusted news source," following the success of Google's promotion of the British bakers Greggs and their novel advertising campaign, "Providing shit to scum for 70 years."

A spokesbot for Google confirmed that the change was due to the greater reach of Uncyclopedia to create important web traffic compared to "dull and drab" Wikipedia. Full story»

Hmor2
UnNewsNAVEL-GAZING
MENLO PARK, California -- Social-media giant Facebook announced it is experimenting with appending [Satire] to headlines from "the internet's unchecked hoax industry," a move that could falsely impugn UnNews itself.

A typical internet hoax may boast more than a quarter of a million Facebook shares, an amount that often requires a stockbroker. As that information spreads, it takes on the pall of truth faster than a pack-a-day smoker. Full story»


Policework01
FERGUSON, Missouri -- The urban riots here began after a white police officer shot Michael Brown — an unarmed black teenager who had nearly begun turning his life around.

Sometimes, such a racist acts out even before his victim finishes stealing cigars and shoves aside the cashier before clashing with a policeman on his way home to put more photos on Facebook of himself flipping people off. Full story»

Israelarmy01
JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri -- Missouri Governor Jay Nixon formally asked Israel to help contain violence in Ferguson. Nixon bypassed Barack "Pontius Pilate" Obama, to go straight to the experts at crowd control.

The Governor said his request for Israeli security forces was "temporary" and that they will soon return to Gaza for the next war peacekeeping mission. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Return to the UnNews Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
Personal tools
projects