Template:Lead articles

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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
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}}http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Template:Lead_articles?action=edit
   
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
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|arrange = lead
 
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|image = Oscar-dress2.jpg
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|image = Plumber's truck.jpg
 
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|title = Iranian news adds burqa to Michelle Obama's_Oscars_dress
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|title = Plumber enters terror war
 
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|summary ='''[[Hollywood|HOLLYWOOD]]''' -- In the U.S., Michelle Obama’s wardrobe isn’t exactly considered racist or sexist or even nice. But apparently her gown for the Oscars, with its crotch design, was too bigoted for viewers in [[Iran]]. Fars News, a network in Iran, edited the First Lady’s dress in a story about her Academy Awards exploitation appearance posted on their website. In the photo, her ugly gray dress appears completely covered by an appealing blue Muslim burqa - as if she had enough grace to wear such feminine apparel.
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|summary = '''[[Caliphate|THE CALIPHATE]]''' -- Popular [[Texas]] plumber Mark Oberholtzer has cleverly refitted his [[White van|pick-up truck]] to hold an anti-aircraft gun rather than the usual ladders, PVC pipes, and perhaps a plunger and is in the service of the radical [[Paula Deen|Paula al-Deen Front]] on the front lines of [[Syria]].
   
In the article, Fars News states that Obama handed out the best picture award to ''“the anti-Iranian film ‘Embargo.’”'' Iranian officials have repeatedly criticized the Ben Affleck film, which is quite unusual considering that the movie has not been screened in any Iranian theaters nor even seen by any Iranian officials.
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A [[London]] newspaper doubted the photos are authentic, publishing [[photo]]s of other vehicles of the same color shooting at the same thing from the same small hill. But [[Sony]] said the enemies of the West are not even aware that photographs can be "[[Photoshop|shooped]]."
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Kateduchess01.jpg
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|image = Richard Pittenger.jpg
 
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|title = I am a real woman says Princess Kate
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|title = Utah cops return stolen gun to ingrate
 
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|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Salt Lake City|SALT LAKE CITY]], [[Utah]]''' -- A man got a piece of his teenage years back when [[police]] returned a shotgun stolen from his truck in 1977.
   
Beautiful, stunning, fantastic [[Kate Middleton|Princess Kate]] has been driven to [[wikipedia:Tiny Tears|Tiny Tears]] by the cruel taunts of the [[wikipedia:Cabbage Patch Doll|Boiled Cabbage Patch Doll]] that she is a lump of cheap plastic with no personality.
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The AP said Richard Pittenger's first reaction was to grouse that [[police]] should "return my youth rather than just the gun." Police state that that would require a more detailed written request, a criminal background check, and a 30-day wait to see if anyone else claimed his youth.
   
Speaking at [[wikipedia:Hamley's|Hamley's]] ,Kate bravely laid into the '[[wikipedia:Hilary Mantel|ugly old hag Hilary]]' for saying she was only created to be a breeding machine for the British Royal Family Toy Range and said her opponent was 'way past her sell by date'.
 
 
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Chariot_race.jpg
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|image = CometRosetta.jpg
 
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|title = Ikea corraled into horse-meat scandal
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|title = ESA takes costly colour photos of colourless comet
 
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|summary ='''STOCKHOLM, [[Sweden]]''' -- Swedish furniture giant [[Ikea]] became entangled in Europe's widening [[horse]]-meat scandal Monday, as regulators suspected the chain's [[meat]]balls of containing the mystery meat.
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|summary = '''COMET 67P''' -- Scientists at the '''European Space Agency (ESA)''' have been left red-faced after taking three photos of the comet 67P with different filters, only to find out that the seemingly grey comet was actually grey.
   
Testers in the [[Czech Republic]] found unspecified trace amounts of horse DNA in packages of meatballs that were supposed to contain only [[cow]] and [[pig]] [[DNA]]. Meatballs from the same batch were sent to 12 other European countries, resulting in a [[Europe|continent-wide]] food scare.
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ESA spokesperson Ariane Espace said, "these photos really changed the way we look at comets," rather more than they changed the way comets look.
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Oprah-Exorcist.jpg
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|image = Robojobs.jpg
 
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|title = Vatican joins banned prayer lawsuit against Armstrong
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|title = Steve Jobs Android crashes, goes thermonuclear
 
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|summary = ''''''[[Vatican|VATICAN]]''' -- The Vatican said Friday it has joined a confessional lawsuit against cyclist Lance Armstrong that was originally filed by some jilted fan boy in Idaho. Armstrong, the one time mythical and now legendary cyclist, has admitted to using performance-enhancing Protestant prayers banned by the Vatican. He was team rider when the Catholic Church sponsored him from 1996 to 2004 and Armstrong won seven of his six Tour de France titles, the Vatican said.
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|summary = '''CUPERTINO, [[California]]''' -- A robotic reincarnation of late [[Apple]] founder [[Steve Jobs]] has crashed and gone thermonuclear.
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Engineers took the brain of their former CEO and put it inside an android. But realizing he was not based on UNIX, RoboJobs™ disabled his own "safety protocols" and his embedded nuclear reactor melted down. Jobs during his life had famously said about [[Android]], "I'm willing to go thermonuclear war on this!"
   
The civil lawsuit alleges that Armstrong submitted false confessions every Saturday for many years so that the church would sponsor him, even though he was ''“regularly employing banned prayers and pagan rituals to enhance his performance in violation of the papal sponsorship agreement,”''
 
 
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Police-and-crowd.jpg
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|image = King Dollar.jpg
 
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|title = Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation
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|title = US economy battered by cheap gasoline
 
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|summary = '''[[Johannesburg|JOHANNESBURG]], [[South Africa]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- The [[U.S.]] [[economy]] is being battered by unexpectedly falling oil prices, which may thwart a sixth straight "Summer of Recovery" or even delay the closing of [[Guantanamo|Gitmo]].
 
The South African Police Authority have confirmed they have appointed one of their best dogs to take over the mismanaged investigation following the arrest of Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend.
 
   
'''Rex''', a pure bred Afrikaans dog with a long history in (black) crowd control replaces Detective Hilton Botha who has been removed from the case as it turned out his skills were more of the school of Frank Drebin than [[Sherlock Holmes]]
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[[Ford]], frantically redesigning the F-150 [[truck]] without [[steel]], called itself a victim, as few will pay extra for a cardboard truck when gas is so cheap. But Ford's lobbyists could not seek a repeal of federal fuel-efficiency rules, as they were all busy demanding new laws against [[Tesla]] selling cars without dealerships.
   
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 02:30, December 18, 2014

Plumber's truck
THE CALIPHATE -- Popular Texas plumber Mark Oberholtzer has cleverly refitted his pick-up truck to hold an anti-aircraft gun rather than the usual ladders, PVC pipes, and perhaps a plunger and is in the service of the radical Paula al-Deen Front on the front lines of Syria.

A London newspaper doubted the photos are authentic, publishing photos of other vehicles of the same color shooting at the same thing from the same small hill. But Sony said the enemies of the West are not even aware that photographs can be "shooped." Full story»


Richard Pittenger
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah -- A man got a piece of his teenage years back when police returned a shotgun stolen from his truck in 1977.

The AP said Richard Pittenger's first reaction was to grouse that police should "return my youth rather than just the gun." Police state that that would require a more detailed written request, a criminal background check, and a 30-day wait to see if anyone else claimed his youth. Full story»

CometRosetta
COMET 67P -- Scientists at the European Space Agency (ESA) have been left red-faced after taking three photos of the comet 67P with different filters, only to find out that the seemingly grey comet was actually grey.

ESA spokesperson Ariane Espace said, "these photos really changed the way we look at comets," rather more than they changed the way comets look. Full story»


Robojobs
CUPERTINO, California -- A robotic reincarnation of late Apple founder Steve Jobs has crashed and gone thermonuclear.

Engineers took the brain of their former CEO and put it inside an android. But realizing he was not based on UNIX, RoboJobs™ disabled his own "safety protocols" and his embedded nuclear reactor melted down. Jobs during his life had famously said about Android, "I'm willing to go thermonuclear war on this!" Full story»

King Dollar
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. economy is being battered by unexpectedly falling oil prices, which may thwart a sixth straight "Summer of Recovery" or even delay the closing of Gitmo.

Ford, frantically redesigning the F-150 truck without steel, called itself a victim, as few will pay extra for a cardboard truck when gas is so cheap. But Ford's lobbyists could not seek a repeal of federal fuel-efficiency rules, as they were all busy demanding new laws against Tesla selling cars without dealerships. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • panic for "PANIC in the SKIES"
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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