Template:Lead articles

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<!--
 
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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
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}}
   
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Oscar-dress2.jpg
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|image = Birmingham niggers logo 3.png
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Iranian news adds burqa to Michelle Obama's_Oscars_dress
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|title = UnNews partners with "Niggers" baseball club
<!-- |short_title = -->
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|short_title = UnNews partners with famous baseball club
|summary ='''[[Hollywood|HOLLYWOOD]]''' -- In the U.S., Michelle Obama’s wardrobe isn’t exactly considered racist or sexist or even nice. But apparently her gown for the Oscars, with its crotch design, was too bigoted for viewers in [[Iran]]. Fars News, a network in Iran, edited the First Lady’s dress in a story about her Academy Awards exploitation appearance posted on their website. In the photo, her ugly gray dress appears completely covered by an appealing blue Muslim burqa - as if she had enough grace to wear such feminine apparel.
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- On the heels of the deal struck between the ''Washington Times'' and the football [[Redskins]], UnNews announced a marketing partnership with [[baseball]]'s [[Niggers|Birmingham Niggers]].
   
In the article, Fars News states that Obama handed out the best picture award to ''“the anti-Iranian film ‘Embargo.’”'' Iranian officials have repeatedly criticized the Ben Affleck film, which is quite unusual considering that the movie has not been screened in any Iranian theaters nor even seen by any Iranian officials.
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The pariah franchise, founded in 1898 by Nathan Bedford Forrest, craves good publicity, as the legacy press censors the club's PR. UnNews will provide coverage including a Niggers Weekend Game Guide a unique editorial challenge, as opponents have refused to play against the club for decades.
}}<!--
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Kateduchess01.jpg
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|image = Pope Francis behind Plexiglas.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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|type = none
|title = I am a real woman says Princess Kate
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|title = Pope assures that 2% of priests are pedophiles
<!-- |short_title = -->
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|short_title = Pope: 2% of priests are pedophiles
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Vatican City|VATICAN CITY]]''' -- [[Pope Francis]] gave a guarantee that 2% of priests are [[Pedobear|pedophiles]], adding several other facts that were immediately denied by the Vatican hierarchy.
   
Beautiful, stunning, fantastic [[Kate Middleton|Princess Kate]] has been driven to [[wikipedia:Tiny Tears|Tiny Tears]] by the cruel taunts of the [[wikipedia:Cabbage Patch Doll|Boiled Cabbage Patch Doll]] that she is a lump of cheap plastic with no personality.
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However, the Holy Father was unable to guarantee that the number of priests who are [[homosexual]], have [[Halitosis|bad breath]], or are boring orators matched the occurrence of those types in the general population.
   
Speaking at [[wikipedia:Hamley's|Hamley's]] ,Kate bravely laid into the '[[wikipedia:Hilary Mantel|ugly old hag Hilary]]' for saying she was only created to be a breeding machine for the British Royal Family Toy Range and said her opponent was 'way past her sell by date'.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Chariot_race.jpg
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|image = Exocet-mil.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Ikea corraled into horse-meat scandal
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|title = FAA resumes flights into Austin
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''STOCKHOLM, [[Sweden]]''' -- Swedish furniture giant [[Ikea]] became entangled in Europe's widening [[horse]]-meat scandal Monday, as regulators suspected the chain's [[meat]]balls of containing the mystery meat.
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- {{InlineMedia|FAA resumes flights into Austin}} The FAA has announced that it will allow commercial flights to resume landing in [[Austin, Texas]].
   
Testers in the [[Czech Republic]] found unspecified trace amounts of horse DNA in packages of meatballs that were supposed to contain only [[cow]] and [[pig]] [[DNA]]. Meatballs from the same batch were sent to 12 other European countries, resulting in a [[Europe|continent-wide]] food scare.
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Governor Rick Perry complained that the ban on flights to Austin was as nonsensical as banning flights to [[Tel Aviv]]. But Obama said that Perry's call-out of [[National Guard]] troops to the [[Mexican]] border could turn Austin into a [[war]] zone.
}}<!--
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-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Oprah-Exorcist.jpg
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|image = EricPicklesSqueeze.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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|type = none
|title = Vatican joins banned prayer lawsuit against Armstrong
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|title = UK Parliament plays Musical Chairs
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = ''''''[[Vatican|VATICAN]]''' -- The Vatican said Friday it has joined a confessional lawsuit against cyclist Lance Armstrong that was originally filed by some jilted fan boy in Idaho. Armstrong, the one time mythical and now legendary cyclist, has admitted to using performance-enhancing Protestant prayers banned by the Vatican. He was team rider when the Catholic Church sponsored him from 1996 to 2004 and Armstrong won seven of his six Tour de France titles, the Vatican said.
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|summary = '''WESTMINSTER, [[UK]]''' -- [[Prime Minister of the UK|Prime Minister]] [[David Cameron]] announced the annual charity Musical Chairs event in Parliament. [[Ed Miliband]], who chairs the Committee on Table Manners, will further entertain the Commons by eating two bacon sandwiches during the competition.
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But ministers who take a tumble, squeezing past Eric Pickles in the narrow aisles, could find themselves injured and unable to hold their cabinet position in the final year.
   
The civil lawsuit alleges that Armstrong submitted false confessions every Saturday for many years so that the church would sponsor him, even though he was ''“regularly employing banned prayers and pagan rituals to enhance his performance in violation of the papal sponsorship agreement,”''
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Police-and-crowd.jpg
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|image = Joe-biden.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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|type = none
|title = Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation
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|title = Biden asks governors to lead nation out of mess
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Johannesburg|JOHANNESBURG]], [[South Africa]]''' --
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|summary = '''NASHVILLE, [[Tennessee]]''' -- {{InlineMedia|Biden asks governors to lead nation out of mess}} [[Vice President]] [[Joe Biden]] called on the [[governor]]s of the [[U.S.]] states to "lead the nation out of this mess we're in."
   
The South African Police Authority have confirmed they have appointed one of their best dogs to take over the mismanaged investigation following the arrest of Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend.
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Not only is it unclear which mess Mr. Biden meant, but Mr. Biden's boss was responsible for leading the nation out of any mess, as well as probably for getting it into the mess, though he was busy shooting pool with [[Colorado]] governor John Fluffernutter.
   
'''Rex''', a pure bred Afrikaans dog with a long history in (black) crowd control replaces Detective Hilton Botha who has been removed from the case as it turned out his skills were more of the school of Frank Drebin than [[Sherlock Holmes]]
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>
}}
 

Latest revision as of 12:53, July 31, 2014

Birmingham niggers logo 3
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On the heels of the deal struck between the Washington Times and the football Redskins, UnNews announced a marketing partnership with baseball's Birmingham Niggers.

The pariah franchise, founded in 1898 by Nathan Bedford Forrest, craves good publicity, as the legacy press censors the club's PR. UnNews will provide coverage including a Niggers Weekend Game Guide — a unique editorial challenge, as opponents have refused to play against the club for decades. Full story»


Pope Francis behind Plexiglas
VATICAN CITY -- Pope Francis gave a guarantee that 2% of priests are pedophiles, adding several other facts that were immediately denied by the Vatican hierarchy.

However, the Holy Father was unable to guarantee that the number of priests who are homosexual, have bad breath, or are boring orators matched the occurrence of those types in the general population. Full story»

Exocet-mil
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) The FAA has announced that it will allow commercial flights to resume landing in Austin, Texas.

Governor Rick Perry complained that the ban on flights to Austin was as nonsensical as banning flights to Tel Aviv. But Obama said that Perry's call-out of National Guard troops to the Mexican border could turn Austin into a war zone. Full story»


EricPicklesSqueeze
WESTMINSTER, UK -- Prime Minister David Cameron announced the annual charity Musical Chairs event in Parliament. Ed Miliband, who chairs the Committee on Table Manners, will further entertain the Commons by eating two bacon sandwiches during the competition.

But ministers who take a tumble, squeezing past Eric Pickles in the narrow aisles, could find themselves injured and unable to hold their cabinet position in the final year. Full story»

Joe-biden
NASHVILLE, Tennessee -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) Vice President Joe Biden called on the governors of the U.S. states to "lead the nation out of this mess we're in."

Not only is it unclear which mess Mr. Biden meant, but Mr. Biden's boss was responsible for leading the nation out of any mess, as well as probably for getting it into the mess, though he was busy shooting pool with Colorado governor John Fluffernutter. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Return to the UnNews Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • urgent
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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