Template:Lead articles

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<!--
 
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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
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}}
   
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Pantohorse01.jpg
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|image = Braveheart.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Pantomime horses are 'really humans' scandal
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|title = Implications of Scottish independence laid bare
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''HOLYROOD, [[Scotland|Republic of Scotland]]''' -- The implications of a 'Yes' vote are becoming clear, as the World Court in The Hague has ruled that secession would void every contract or agreement ever made that spans Scotland and the [[Mother]] [[Country]].
   
Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.
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[[David Cameron]] said that, after withdrawing its [[Queen]] and its banks, [[England]] will withdraw all its currency. England will not stay on the pound either; the former United Kingdom (fUK) will devise an electronic money to be known as the [[Bitcoin|Britcoin]].
   
In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free [[Guinness]] tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in [[Fish_pun#Alternatives_to_the_fish_pun|blinkers]] and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from [[Newcastle]].
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
}}<!--
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = silvio sylvia.jpg
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|image = LochNessMonster1.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Silvio moves on
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|title = Loch Ness Monster to swim south if Scotland secedes
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''ROME, Italy'''
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|summary = '''[[Edinburgh|EDINBURGH]], [[Scotland]]''' -- Scotland's beloved 'beastie', the [[Loch Ness Monster]], says she will go south if Scotland votes in favour of a breakaway from [[England]] next week.
Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.
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'I had to be sure my pension would be secure. My last pension was with [[Tyrannosaurus|T.Rex Bank]] which was wiped out by an [[Asteroid|asteroid hit]] about 65 million years ago,' said the serpent.
   
''"It was the age problem"'', said the sober Silvio at a press conference, ''"she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty"''.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Nunwendy01.jpg
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|image = KateCambridge1.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Race for Pope brings forth some unusual candidates
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|title = Duchess gets pregnant to save the marriage
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Rome|ROME]], [[Italy]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' -- The [[Kate Middleton|Duchess of Cambridge]]'s announcement that she is pregnant is Prime Minister [[David Cameron]]'s last-gasp effort to stop [[Scotland]] from becoming an independent country.
   
The race to become the next [[Catholic]] [[Pope]] has got a lot of <s>gamblers</s> people eager to influence the choice of who replaces [[Pope Benedict XVI]] when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.
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Cameron said, 'When we received reports that Alex Salmond and his gang were about to win the referendum, I told [[Prince William]] to leave his johnnies in the box.'
   
The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope [[wikipedia:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]] 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary [[Donald Rumsfeld]] heading another list on the ''Unknown knowns''.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
}}<!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Chelsea1.jpg
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|image = Bushobama.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = President Chelsea Clinton jubilant as Bashar al-Assad dies of old age
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|title = Obama goes to un-war
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Washington DC |WASHINGTON DC]]''' -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that [[Syria]]’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred [[Disney|Plutoc]][[rats]].
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] told the [[U.S.]] he will send an additional 475 troops into [[Iraq]] despite hints that [[Caliphate|ISIL]] enjoys striking symbolic targets on anniversaries even more than [[Batman]]'s enemies used to.
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Obama said the troops' mission is training and support and not combat. This means they will advise the Iraqi army on how to practice racial sensitivity, read combatants their rights, avoid bullying, and not over-react to being shot at.
   
President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = LordJimbo.jpg
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|image = WalMart service.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Wikia to offer "gold membership" for wikis
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|title = Walmart further enslaves employees with "dress code"
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''EVIL WIKIA&trade; HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, [[California]]''' -- In order to address the flight from Wikia&trade; over issues of advertisements, Wikia&trade; has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.
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|summary = '''BENTONVILLE, [[Arkansas]]''' -- Gigantic retailer [[Walmart]] cracked the whip yet again on its indentured "sales associates," by dictatorially requiring them to dress appropriately for [[work]].
   
"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said [[Jimbo Wales]], CEO and evil overlord of [[Wikia]]&trade;. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements.
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The creativity-killing ukase replaces the typical garb of a Walmart "associate," which was a T-shirt with playful slogans such as "Occupy Wall Street" or "Look for the Union Label," or photos of [[Che Guevara]] sure to elicit smiles from customers.
   
}}
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 02:30, September 14, 2014

Braveheart
HOLYROOD, Republic of Scotland -- The implications of a 'Yes' vote are becoming clear, as the World Court in The Hague has ruled that secession would void every contract or agreement ever made that spans Scotland and the Mother Country.

David Cameron said that, after withdrawing its Queen and its banks, England will withdraw all its currency. England will not stay on the pound either; the former United Kingdom (fUK) will devise an electronic money to be known as the Britcoin. Full story»


LochNessMonster1
EDINBURGH, Scotland -- Scotland's beloved 'beastie', the Loch Ness Monster, says she will go south if Scotland votes in favour of a breakaway from England next week.

'I had to be sure my pension would be secure. My last pension was with T.Rex Bank which was wiped out by an asteroid hit about 65 million years ago,' said the serpent. Full story»

KateCambridge1
LONDON, United Kingdom -- The Duchess of Cambridge's announcement that she is pregnant is Prime Minister David Cameron's last-gasp effort to stop Scotland from becoming an independent country.

Cameron said, 'When we received reports that Alex Salmond and his gang were about to win the referendum, I told Prince William to leave his johnnies in the box.' Full story»


Bushobama
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Obama told the U.S. he will send an additional 475 troops into Iraq — despite hints that ISIL enjoys striking symbolic targets on anniversaries even more than Batman's enemies used to.

Obama said the troops' mission is training and support and not combat. This means they will advise the Iraqi army on how to practice racial sensitivity, read combatants their rights, avoid bullying, and not over-react to being shot at. Full story»

WalMart service
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas -- Gigantic retailer Walmart cracked the whip yet again on its indentured "sales associates," by dictatorially requiring them to dress appropriately for work.

The creativity-killing ukase replaces the typical garb of a Walmart "associate," which was a T-shirt with playful slogans such as "Occupy Wall Street" or "Look for the Union Label," or photos of Che Guevara sure to elicit smiles from customers. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • panic for "PANIC in the SKIES"
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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