Template:Lead articles

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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles. Click Preview and
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detailed instructions will appear.
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
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|arrange = left
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
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|dept = none
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|image = DavidChamberlain1.jpg
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|title = Cameron declares victory in the Battle for Europe
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' -- British PM [[David Cameron]] declared, in a speech on the wireless last night, that he achieved 'all his aims' after a recent trip to [[Brussels]].
   
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
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He said he had 'averted a long war' that would have caused huge suffering within the [[Conservative Party]].
   
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
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}}<!--
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
   
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
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1A-SPOT-->{{Lead article
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|arrange = right
Blank template:
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|dept = none
{{Lead articles 2/a
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|image = Cambridge Uni 03.02.16.jpg
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
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|title = Cambridge to introduce 'face tests'
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-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
|arrange = lead
 
|image = Pantohorse01.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
|title = Pantomime horses are 'really humans' scandal
 
 
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|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' -- [[Cambridge University]] applicants are to undergo 'face tests' during enrollment.
   
Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.
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[[Labour Party|Labour]] leader [[Jeremy Corbyn]] supported the move, "As long as you don't discriminate against [[terrorist]]s. Terrorists are important to our society." [[Google]] face-recognition [[software]] may allow further uses of the data, along with a stand-alone procedure called the ASS-levels.
   
In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free [[Guinness]] tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in [[Fish_pun#Alternatives_to_the_fish_pun|blinkers]] and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from [[Newcastle]].
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
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-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = silvio sylvia.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Jean_Claude_Plonker.PNG
|title = Silvio moves on
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|title = ECSR says paper rounds threaten Europe
 
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|summary = '''ROME, Italy'''
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|border = none
Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.
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|summary = '''[[Birmingham, England|BIRMINGHAM]]''' -- [[ISIL]] are now using "paper rounds" to violate Europe, according to the '''European Committee on Social Rights (ECSR)'''.
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[[David Cameron]] said, "The threat of paper rounds highlights the need to destroy ISIL once and for all." He delivered his remarks in triplicate to each MP as a call to re-arm. [[Hillary Clinton]] says she has already done so, as every deleted-but-recovered email was delivered to the [[FBI]] on paper.
   
''"It was the age problem"'', said the sober Silvio at a press conference, ''"she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty"''.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
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|image = Nunwendy01.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = ShockedCarson.jpg
|title = Race for Pope brings forth some unusual candidates
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|title = Carson campaign tries derangement
 
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|summary = '''[[Rome|ROME]], [[Italy]]''' --
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[Clivus Multrum|CLIVE]], [[Iowa]]''' -- [[Ben Carson]] made a last-minute pitch to [[Evangelism|evangelical]]s here. "There are those who go around proclaiming separation of church and state," he said, apparently referring to [[Thomas Jefferson]].
   
The race to become the next [[Catholic]] [[Pope]] has got a lot of <s>gamblers</s> people eager to influence the choice of who replaces [[Pope Benedict XVI]] when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.
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Carson's campaign has faltered, as [[Megyn Kelly]] did not even prepare a video montage of his lies to see if she could get him to stutter and sweat.
   
The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope [[wikipedia:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]] 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary [[Donald Rumsfeld]] heading another list on the ''Unknown knowns''.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
}}<!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
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|image = Chelsea1.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Shruti Seth.jpg
|title = President Chelsea Clinton jubilant as Bashar al-Assad dies of old age
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|title = India makes strides in sex parity
 
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|summary = '''[[Washington DC |WASHINGTON DC]]''' -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that [[Syria]]’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred [[Disney|Plutoc]][[rats]].
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[Chandigarh|CHANDIGARH]]''' -- The State of Haryana has achieved 903 girls per 1000 boys after a decade of trying to get Indians to stop aborting female fetuses, drowning female babies, and tying female [[teenager]]s to railroad tracks.
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[[Prime Minister|PM]] [[Narendra Modi]] participated in a '''#SelfieWithDaughter''' publicity stunt to show that female offspring can be somewhat fun, although it still costs a ton of money to marry them off.
   
President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs.
 
 
}}<!--
 
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-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = LordJimbo.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Hillary Clinton sunglasses.jpg
|title = Wikia to offer "gold membership" for wikis
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|title = Hillary dies during CNN debate
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''EVIL WIKIA&trade; HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, [[California]]''' -- In order to address the flight from Wikia&trade; over issues of advertisements, Wikia&trade; has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[New York City|NEW YORK CITY]]''' -- [[Hillary Clinton]] expired Sunday evening during the [[CNN]] [[debate]]. The <code>FanGraphs</code> sports site logged 37 coughs and 7 throat-clearings on Ms. Clinton's way to [[eternity]].
   
"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said [[Jimbo Wales]], CEO and evil overlord of [[Wikia]]&trade;. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements.
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The health crisis followed a more minor crisis during the previous debate, requiring that Ms. Clinton have a Ladies' Room to herself for activities probably involving the [[Barf|vomiting of blood]]. [[Republican]] [[Donald Trump]] guessed that "there was blood spurting out of her...whatever."
   
}}
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 00:24, February 6, 2016

DavidChamberlain1
LONDON, United Kingdom -- British PM David Cameron declared, in a speech on the wireless last night, that he achieved 'all his aims' after a recent trip to Brussels.

He said he had 'averted a long war' that would have caused huge suffering within the Conservative Party. Full story»

Cambridge Uni 03.02.16
LONDON, United Kingdom -- Cambridge University applicants are to undergo 'face tests' during enrollment.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn supported the move, "As long as you don't discriminate against terrorists. Terrorists are important to our society." Google face-recognition software may allow further uses of the data, along with a stand-alone procedure called the ASS-levels. Full story»


Jean Claude Plonker
BIRMINGHAM -- ISIL are now using "paper rounds" to violate Europe, according to the European Committee on Social Rights (ECSR).

David Cameron said, "The threat of paper rounds highlights the need to destroy ISIL once and for all." He delivered his remarks in triplicate to each MP as a call to re-arm. Hillary Clinton says she has already done so, as every deleted-but-recovered email was delivered to the FBI on paper. Full story»

ShockedCarson
CLIVE, Iowa -- Ben Carson made a last-minute pitch to evangelicals here. "There are those who go around proclaiming separation of church and state," he said, apparently referring to Thomas Jefferson.

Carson's campaign has faltered, as Megyn Kelly did not even prepare a video montage of his lies to see if she could get him to stutter and sweat. Full story»


Shruti Seth
CHANDIGARH -- The State of Haryana has achieved 903 girls per 1000 boys after a decade of trying to get Indians to stop aborting female fetuses, drowning female babies, and tying female teenagers to railroad tracks.

PM Narendra Modi participated in a #SelfieWithDaughter publicity stunt to show that female offspring can be somewhat fun, although it still costs a ton of money to marry them off. Full story»

Hillary Clinton sunglasses
NEW YORK CITY -- Hillary Clinton expired Sunday evening during the CNN debate. The FanGraphs sports site logged 37 coughs and 7 throat-clearings on Ms. Clinton's way to eternity.

The health crisis followed a more minor crisis during the previous debate, requiring that Ms. Clinton have a Ladies' Room to herself for activities probably involving the vomiting of blood. Republican Donald Trump guessed that "there was blood spurting out of her...whatever." Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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