Template:Lead articles

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m
 
(490 intermediate revisions by 3 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
 
<!--
 
<!--
REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
+
This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
  +
It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles. Click Preview and
  +
detailed instructions will appear.
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
+
1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|type_ =
 
|title_ =
 
|short_title_ =
 
|summary_ =
 
}}
 
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Pantohorse01.jpg
+
|dept = JUST GETS SADDER
<!-- |type = -->
+
|image = Tsipras.jpg
|title = Pantomime horses are 'really humans' scandal
+
|title = Crash of Germanwings plane is a mystery#More sources
<!-- |short_title = -->
+
|short_title = Germanwings co-pilot had a doctor's note
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
+
|summary = '''MONTABAUR, [[Germany]]''' -- Investigators have found, in the apartment of Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz, a torn-up notice from his [[doctor]] excusing him from [[work]] on the fateful day.
   
Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.
+
The note stresses the negative health effects of flying a jetliner into the ground. An investigator stressed that pilots who intend to crash airplanes should always notify Personnel of their plan, preferably beforehand, to get "buy-in" from other stakeholders.
   
In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free [[Guinness]] tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.
+
}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in [[Fish_pun#Alternatives_to_the_fish_pun|blinkers]] and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from [[Newcastle]].
+
2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
}}<!--
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = silvio sylvia.jpg
+
|dept = none
<!-- |type = -->
+
|image = Ketchup1.jpg
|title = Silvio moves on
+
|title = Kraft and Heinz to stir a Big Soup
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''ROME, Italy'''
+
|summary = '''[[Philadelphia|BUFFETT'S WARREN]], [[Pennsylvania]]''' -- Corner shops, chocoholics and [[Cafe|greasy spoons]] throughout the world are in a ''Twirl'' over ''Wispas'' of the imminent merger between [[Kraft]] and [[Ketchup v. Catsup|H.J. Heinz]].
Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.
+
  +
The ''Fresh Take'' on the ''Fusion'' of the two corporate food ''Heroes'' occurred when [[Stockbroker|venture capitalists]] concluded that [[American]]s would jump at the chance to add ketchup to their [[cheese]] [[Hot Dog|dogs]] without an intervening step.
   
''"It was the age problem"'', said the sober Silvio at a press conference, ''"she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty"''.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
+
3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Nunwendy01.jpg
+
|dept = none
<!-- |type = -->
+
|image = Bottled water.jpg
|title = Race for Pope brings forth some unusual candidates
+
|title = Water becomes the newest Human Right
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Rome|ROME]], [[Italy]]''' --
+
|summary = '''[[Hong Kong|HONG KONG]], [[China]]''' -- The Chairman of Nestlé has declared that “Water is a human right,” at the Credit Suisse Asian Investment Conference here, as his associates raised toasts with Perrier.
   
The race to become the next [[Catholic]] [[Pope]] has got a lot of <s>gamblers</s> people eager to influence the choice of who replaces [[Pope Benedict XVI]] when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.
+
The new human right would seem to extend to cases where the natural endowment needs to be trucked in, desalinated, or have someone pluck out the [[cow]] [[feces]].
   
The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope [[wikipedia:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]] 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary [[Donald Rumsfeld]] heading another list on the ''Unknown knowns''.
+
}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
}}<!--
+
4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Chelsea1.jpg
+
|dept = none
<!-- |type = -->
+
|image = Time.jpg
|title = President Chelsea Clinton jubilant as Bashar al-Assad dies of old age
+
|title = US to ban time
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Washington DC |WASHINGTON DC]]''' -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that [[Syria]]’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred [[Disney|Plutoc]][[rats]].
+
|summary = '''[[Texas|AUSTIN, Texas]]''' -- Bills are being drafted across ten states to ban the use of [[time]], a move that should eliminate rotting food, late trains, and arguments at the end of track meets.
  +
  +
[[Texas]] State Rep. Dan Flynn ([[Republican Party|R]]-Snake's Hips) argues that abolishing time — inflexible, invisible, and odorless — will make traffic accidents a thing of the past, and will stop expensive procrastination and sour milk with a single swipe of the pendulum.
   
President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
+
  +
5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = LordJimbo.jpg
+
|dept = none
<!-- |type = -->
+
|image = Funeral01.jpg
|title = Wikia to offer "gold membership" for wikis
+
|title = Crowds mourn royal murderer
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''EVIL WIKIA&trade; HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, [[California]]''' -- In order to address the flight from Wikia&trade; over issues of advertisements, Wikia&trade; has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.
+
|summary = '''[[Leicester|LEICESTER]], [[United Kingdom]]''' -- [[England]]'s most prolific killer, King [[Richard III]], was presented to the public in a brand new coffin inside Leicester Cathedral.
   
"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said [[Jimbo Wales]], CEO and evil overlord of [[Wikia]]&trade;. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements.
+
Richard had died at the [[Battle of Bosworth]] in 1485 and for over 500 years his body had been lost to view, buried in a car park and forgotten. The city council expected a tourist rush to share the 'Richard' experience.
   
}}
+
}}<noinclude>{{-}}
  +
{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 15:16, March 27, 2015

Tsipras
UnNews Logo Potato1JUST GETS SADDER
MONTABAUR, Germany -- Investigators have found, in the apartment of Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz, a torn-up notice from his doctor excusing him from work on the fateful day.

The note stresses the negative health effects of flying a jetliner into the ground. An investigator stressed that pilots who intend to crash airplanes should always notify Personnel of their plan, preferably beforehand, to get "buy-in" from other stakeholders. Full story»


Ketchup1
BUFFETT'S WARREN, Pennsylvania -- Corner shops, chocoholics and greasy spoons throughout the world are in a Twirl over Wispas of the imminent merger between Kraft and H.J. Heinz.

The Fresh Take on the Fusion of the two corporate food Heroes occurred when venture capitalists concluded that Americans would jump at the chance to add ketchup to their cheese dogs without an intervening step. Full story»

Bottled water
HONG KONG, China -- The Chairman of Nestlé has declared that “Water is a human right,” at the Credit Suisse Asian Investment Conference here, as his associates raised toasts with Perrier.

The new human right would seem to extend to cases where the natural endowment needs to be trucked in, desalinated, or have someone pluck out the cow feces. Full story»


Time
AUSTIN, Texas -- Bills are being drafted across ten states to ban the use of time, a move that should eliminate rotting food, late trains, and arguments at the end of track meets.

Texas State Rep. Dan Flynn (R-Snake's Hips) argues that abolishing time — inflexible, invisible, and odorless — will make traffic accidents a thing of the past, and will stop expensive procrastination and sour milk with a single swipe of the pendulum. Full story»

Funeral01
LEICESTER, United Kingdom -- England's most prolific killer, King Richard III, was presented to the public in a brand new coffin inside Leicester Cathedral.

Richard had died at the Battle of Bosworth in 1485 and for over 500 years his body had been lost to view, buried in a car park and forgotten. The city council expected a tourist rush to share the 'Richard' experience. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
Personal tools
projects