Template:Lead articles

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m
 
(247 intermediate revisions by 3 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
 
<!--
 
<!--
REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
+
This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
  +
It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
+
{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
Line 11: Line 11:
 
}}
 
}}
   
+
1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Pantohorse01.jpg
+
|image = Birmingham niggers logo 3.png
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Pantomime horses are 'really humans' scandal
+
|title = UnNews partners with "Niggers" baseball club
<!-- |short_title = -->
+
|short_title = UnNews partners with famous baseball club
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
+
|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- On the heels of the deal struck between the ''Washington Times'' and the football [[Redskins]], UnNews announced a marketing partnership with [[baseball]]'s [[Niggers|Birmingham Niggers]].
   
Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.
+
The pariah franchise, founded in 1898 by Nathan Bedford Forrest, craves good publicity, as the legacy press censors the club's PR. UnNews will provide coverage including a Niggers Weekend Game Guide — a unique editorial challenge, as opponents have refused to play against the club for decades.
   
In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free [[Guinness]] tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.
+
}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in [[Fish_pun#Alternatives_to_the_fish_pun|blinkers]] and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from [[Newcastle]].
+
2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
}}<!--
+
|arrange = left
  +
|image = Pope Francis behind Plexiglas.jpg
  +
|type = none
  +
|title = Pope assures that 2% of priests are pedophiles
  +
|short_title = Pope: 2% of priests are pedophiles
  +
|summary = '''[[Vatican City|VATICAN CITY]]''' -- [[Pope Francis]] gave a guarantee that 2% of priests are [[Pedobear|pedophiles]], adding several other facts that were immediately denied by the Vatican hierarchy.
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
+
However, the Holy Father was unable to guarantee that the number of priests who are [[homosexual]], have [[Halitosis|bad breath]], or are boring orators matched the occurrence of those types in the general population.
|arrange = left
 
|image = silvio sylvia.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
|title = Silvio moves on
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
|summary = '''ROME, Italy'''
 
Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.
 
   
''"It was the age problem"'', said the sober Silvio at a press conference, ''"she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty"''.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
+
3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Nunwendy01.jpg
+
|image = Exocet-mil.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Race for Pope brings forth some unusual candidates
+
|title = FAA resumes flights into Austin
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Rome|ROME]], [[Italy]]''' --
+
|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- {{InlineMedia|FAA resumes flights into Austin}} The FAA has announced that it will allow commercial flights to resume landing in [[Austin, Texas]].
   
The race to become the next [[Catholic]] [[Pope]] has got a lot of <s>gamblers</s> people eager to influence the choice of who replaces [[Pope Benedict XVI]] when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.
+
Governor Rick Perry complained that the ban on flights to Austin was as nonsensical as banning flights to [[Tel Aviv]]. But Obama said that Perry's call-out of [[National Guard]] troops to the [[Mexican]] border could turn Austin into a [[war]] zone.
   
The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope [[wikipedia:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]] 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary [[Donald Rumsfeld]] heading another list on the ''Unknown knowns''.
+
}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
}}<!--
+
4-SPOT-->{{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Chelsea1.jpg
+
|image = EricPicklesSqueeze.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
+
|type = none
|title = President Chelsea Clinton jubilant as Bashar al-Assad dies of old age
+
|title = UK Parliament plays Musical Chairs
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Washington DC |WASHINGTON DC]]''' -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that [[Syria]]’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred [[Disney|Plutoc]][[rats]].
+
|summary = '''WESTMINSTER, [[UK]]''' -- [[Prime Minister of the UK|Prime Minister]] [[David Cameron]] announced the annual charity Musical Chairs event in Parliament. [[Ed Miliband]], who chairs the Committee on Table Manners, will further entertain the Commons by eating two bacon sandwiches during the competition.
  +
  +
But ministers who take a tumble, squeezing past Eric Pickles in the narrow aisles, could find themselves injured and unable to hold their cabinet position in the final year.
   
President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
+
  +
5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = LordJimbo.jpg
+
|image = Joe-biden.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
+
|type = none
|title = Wikia to offer "gold membership" for wikis
+
|title = Biden asks governors to lead nation out of mess
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''EVIL WIKIA&trade; HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, [[California]]''' -- In order to address the flight from Wikia&trade; over issues of advertisements, Wikia&trade; has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.
+
|summary = '''NASHVILLE, [[Tennessee]]''' -- {{InlineMedia|Biden asks governors to lead nation out of mess}} [[Vice President]] [[Joe Biden]] called on the [[governor]]s of the [[U.S.]] states to "lead the nation out of this mess we're in."
   
"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said [[Jimbo Wales]], CEO and evil overlord of [[Wikia]]&trade;. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements.
+
Not only is it unclear which mess Mr. Biden meant, but Mr. Biden's boss was responsible for leading the nation out of any mess, as well as probably for getting it into the mess, though he was busy shooting pool with [[Colorado]] governor John Fluffernutter.
   
}}
+
}}<noinclude>{{-}}
  +
{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 14:03, July 29, 2014

Birmingham niggers logo 3
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On the heels of the deal struck between the Washington Times and the football Redskins, UnNews announced a marketing partnership with baseball's Birmingham Niggers.

The pariah franchise, founded in 1898 by Nathan Bedford Forrest, craves good publicity, as the legacy press censors the club's PR. UnNews will provide coverage including a Niggers Weekend Game Guide — a unique editorial challenge, as opponents have refused to play against the club for decades. Full story»


Pope Francis behind Plexiglas
VATICAN CITY -- Pope Francis gave a guarantee that 2% of priests are pedophiles, adding several other facts that were immediately denied by the Vatican hierarchy.

However, the Holy Father was unable to guarantee that the number of priests who are homosexual, have bad breath, or are boring orators matched the occurrence of those types in the general population. Full story»

Exocet-mil
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) The FAA has announced that it will allow commercial flights to resume landing in Austin, Texas.

Governor Rick Perry complained that the ban on flights to Austin was as nonsensical as banning flights to Tel Aviv. But Obama said that Perry's call-out of National Guard troops to the Mexican border could turn Austin into a war zone. Full story»


{
EricPicklesSqueeze
WESTMINSTER, UK -- Prime Minister David Cameron announced the annual charity Musical Chairs event in Parliament. Ed Miliband, who chairs the Committee on Table Manners, will further entertain the Commons by eating two bacon sandwiches during the competition.

But ministers who take a tumble, squeezing past Eric Pickles in the narrow aisles, could find themselves injured and unable to hold their cabinet position in the final year. Full story»

Joe-biden
NASHVILLE, Tennessee -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) Vice President Joe Biden called on the governors of the U.S. states to "lead the nation out of this mess we're in."

Not only is it unclear which mess Mr. Biden meant, but Mr. Biden's boss was responsible for leading the nation out of any mess, as well as probably for getting it into the mess, though he was busy shooting pool with Colorado governor John Fluffernutter. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Return to the UnNews Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • urgent
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
Personal tools
projects