Template:Lead articles

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<!--
 
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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
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}}
 
}}
   
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Pantohorse01.jpg
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|image = Mikesam.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Pantomime horses are 'really humans' scandal
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|title = Openly gay NFL player in another "first"
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[St. Louis|ST.LOUIS]], [[Missouri]]''' -- [[Michael]] [[Sam]], who earlier this year was the first openly [[gay]] [[athlete]] to be drafted by an [[NFL]] team, has now become the first openly gay athlete to be cut by an NFL team.
   
Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.
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ESPN cameras recorded him breaking down in tears and being consoled by his [[boyfriend]] after getting the <SPAN STYLE="background-color: pink">pink slip</SPAN> in his locker from "Rams" coach Jeff Fisher.
   
In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free [[Guinness]] tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in [[Fish_pun#Alternatives_to_the_fish_pun|blinkers]] and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from [[Newcastle]].
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
}}<!--
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = silvio sylvia.jpg
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|image = Mississippi River.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Silvio moves on
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|title = Officials calm about brain-eating amoeba in tap water
<!-- |short_title = -->
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|short_title = Brain-eating amoeba in tap water
|summary = '''ROME, Italy'''
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|summary = '''ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST PARISH, [[Louisiana]]''' -- {{InlineMedia|Brain-eating amoeba in tap water}} Officials assured citizens that there is no reason to worry about the discovery of [[brain]]-eating [[amoeba]]s in the [[water]] supply of 12,577 people.
Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.
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A Health Officer said the water is drinkable: "When water goes 'down the hatch,' it is headed away from the brain." But joking while drinking tap water might send it up the nose and straight toward the brain.
   
''"It was the age problem"'', said the sober Silvio at a press conference, ''"she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty"''.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Nunwendy01.jpg
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|image = News_-_Smokey.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Race for Pope brings forth some unusual candidates
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|title = ISIS battalion executes itself
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Rome|ROME]], [[Italy]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Syria|ALEPPO PROVINCE, Syria]]''' -- An [[ISIS]] battalion codenamed الجبن المجيد “Glorious Cheese” has shot itself to death following a routine execution.
   
The race to become the next [[Catholic]] [[Pope]] has got a lot of <s>gamblers</s> people eager to influence the choice of who replaces [[Pope Benedict XVI]] when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.
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Only one ISIS militant remained standing when it was all over, and he turned himself into Syrian authorities as a seditionist requesting to be conscripted within the [[Army|Syrian Army]].
   
The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope [[wikipedia:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]] 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary [[Donald Rumsfeld]] heading another list on the ''Unknown knowns''.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
}}<!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Chelsea1.jpg
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|image = Obama shoots skeets.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = President Chelsea Clinton jubilant as Bashar al-Assad dies of old age
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|title = Journalist gets head cut off; Obama muffs chip shot
<!-- |short_title = -->
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|short_title = Journalist killed — Obama muffs chip shot
|summary = '''[[Washington DC |WASHINGTON DC]]''' -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that [[Syria]]’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred [[Disney|Plutoc]][[rats]].
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|summary = '''CHILMARK, [[Massachusetts]]''' -- Shortly after race riots broke out in [[Missouri]], a beheading of a journalist broke out in [[Iraq]], causing a "heartbroken" [[Barack Obama|Obama]] to guide a key fairway drive to the [[Liberals|left]] (pictured).
  +
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In separate news, another [[Russia]]n invasion broke out in [[Ukraine]], further threatening to distract his transformational Presidency.
   
President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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  +
5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = LordJimbo.jpg
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|image = Bushobama.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Wikia to offer "gold membership" for wikis
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|title = Obama admits "no strategy" for Middle East
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''EVIL WIKIA&trade; HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, [[California]]''' -- In order to address the flight from Wikia&trade; over issues of advertisements, Wikia&trade; has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] made the astonishing declaration that "we don't have a strategy yet" regarding [[Syria]].
   
"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said [[Jimbo Wales]], CEO and evil overlord of [[Wikia]]&trade;. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements.
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In response, ''[[Time]]'' put him on the cover as the "Person, Thing, or Abstraction of the Year" and [[Norway]] teed up a second [[Nobel Peace Prize]].
   
}}
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 15:46, September 1, 2014

Mikesam
ST.LOUIS, Missouri -- Michael Sam, who earlier this year was the first openly gay athlete to be drafted by an NFL team, has now become the first openly gay athlete to be cut by an NFL team.

ESPN cameras recorded him breaking down in tears and being consoled by his boyfriend after getting the pink slip in his locker from "Rams" coach Jeff Fisher. Full story»


Mississippi River
ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST PARISH, Louisiana -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) Officials assured citizens that there is no reason to worry about the discovery of brain-eating amoebas in the water supply of 12,577 people.

A Health Officer said the water is drinkable: "When water goes 'down the hatch,' it is headed away from the brain." But joking while drinking tap water might send it up the nose and straight toward the brain. Full story»

News - Smokey
ALEPPO PROVINCE, Syria -- An ISIS battalion codenamed الجبن المجيد “Glorious Cheese” has shot itself to death following a routine execution.

Only one ISIS militant remained standing when it was all over, and he turned himself into Syrian authorities as a seditionist requesting to be conscripted within the Syrian Army. Full story»


Obama shoots skeets
CHILMARK, Massachusetts -- Shortly after race riots broke out in Missouri, a beheading of a journalist broke out in Iraq, causing a "heartbroken" Obama to guide a key fairway drive to the left (pictured).

In separate news, another Russian invasion broke out in Ukraine, further threatening to distract his transformational Presidency. Full story»

Bushobama
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Obama made the astonishing declaration that "we don't have a strategy yet" regarding Syria.

In response, Time put him on the cover as the "Person, Thing, or Abstraction of the Year" and Norway teed up a second Nobel Peace Prize. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Return to the UnNews Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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