Template:Lead articles

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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Pantohorse01.jpg
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|image = NancySinatraBoots01.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Pantomime horses are 'really humans' scandal
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|title = Obama opts for "Nancy" solution to ISIS
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Washington|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- President [[Barack Obama]] has opted to put "boots on the ground" after all, calling on veteran singer Nancy Sinatra to donate her old boots to "throw at the fanatics."
   
Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.
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Sinatra's old Top 40 hit, ''These Boots Are Made for Walking,'' will be blasted through loudspeakers as the old footwear is dropped on [[ISIS]]. If these run out, the [[Philippines]] will supply [[Imelda Marcos]]'s confiscated shoe collection as a backup.
   
In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free [[Guinness]] tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in [[Fish_pun#Alternatives_to_the_fish_pun|blinkers]] and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from [[Newcastle]].
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
}}<!--
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = silvio sylvia.jpg
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|image = Matzah Ball Soup.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Silvio moves on
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|title = Facebook, Apple offer to freeze eggs
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''ROME, Italy'''
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|summary = '''[[Silicon|WIKIA CITY]], [[California]]''' -- Computing giants [[Facebook]] and [[Apple]] will offer to freeze the [[egg]]s of productive female employees.
Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.
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The move will let them keep <s>their {{C|tits}}</s> their [[nose]]s to the grindstone, cranking out web pages and policy manuals and filing complaints about the [[cafeteria food]] throughout their productive years. Then they can have a [[baby]] at age 70, and hire someone who can actually bear it, nurse it, pick it up, and remember its name, and might adopt it when they [[Death|die]] when the kid is 5.
   
''"It was the age problem"'', said the sober Silvio at a press conference, ''"she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty"''.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Nunwendy01.jpg
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|image = 1973-amc-hornet-1973-amc-hornet-x.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Race for Pope brings forth some unusual candidates
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|title = Florida man killed by thug, music
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Rome|ROME]], [[Italy]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Jacksonville|JACKSONVILLE]], [[Florida]]''' -- A Florida man has been sentenced in the death of a fellow Floridian over loud thug music.
   
The race to become the next [[Catholic]] [[Pope]] has got a lot of <s>gamblers</s> people eager to influence the choice of who replaces [[Pope Benedict XVI]] when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.
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"Florida schools teach never to criticize a driver for loud thug music," the prosecutor said, "because the driver is often a loud thug." That was true in this case, and shooter Michael Dunn "put him down." Judge Russell Healey told the shooter, "Your life is effectively over," as the prison ritual includes a regime of desensitization through constant exposure to loud thug music.
   
The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope [[wikipedia:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]] 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary [[Donald Rumsfeld]] heading another list on the ''Unknown knowns''.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
}}<!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Chelsea1.jpg
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|image =
<!-- |type = -->
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|type = panic
|title = President Chelsea Clinton jubilant as Bashar al-Assad dies of old age
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|title = U.S. asks 132 passengers to step forward
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Washington DC |WASHINGTON DC]]''' -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that [[Syria]]’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred [[Disney|Plutoc]][[rats]].
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- The 132 passengers of the flight that Amber Vinson took were asked to identify themselves to the [[Center for Disease Control]] (CDC) for "monitoring."
  +
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The CDC said [[Liberia]]ns without Ebola can take municipal buses, because Ebola cannot be caught from other passengers, but Africans with Ebola should not take buses, because it can. U.S. borders remained wide open, as [[Nancy Pelosi]] stated, "We have to pass more [[Liberia]]ns, so that you can find out what is in them."
   
President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = LordJimbo.jpg
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|image = Ebola bumper sticker.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Wikia to offer "gold membership" for wikis
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|title = Emperor Ebola appoints czar
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''EVIL WIKIA&trade; HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, [[California]]''' -- In order to address the flight from Wikia&trade; over issues of advertisements, Wikia&trade; has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- The [[U.S. President]], embarrassed in the past for [[golf]]ing and fundraising too soon after decapitations and murders of Ambassadors, has confronted the [[Ebola]] epidemic head-on: by appointing a "[[czar]]" for the disease.
   
"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said [[Jimbo Wales]], CEO and evil overlord of [[Wikia]]&trade;. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements.
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Veteran backslapper Ron Klain has political experience that should let him utter any required inanities while his complete lack of [[Medicine|medical]] experience will keep him from getting bogged down in technical details such as the inconsistency of his statements.
   
}}
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 21:56, October 20, 2014

NancySinatraBoots01
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Barack Obama has opted to put "boots on the ground" after all, calling on veteran singer Nancy Sinatra to donate her old boots to "throw at the fanatics."

Sinatra's old Top 40 hit, These Boots Are Made for Walking, will be blasted through loudspeakers as the old footwear is dropped on ISIS. If these run out, the Philippines will supply Imelda Marcos's confiscated shoe collection as a backup. Full story»


Matzah Ball Soup
WIKIA CITY, California -- Computing giants Facebook and Apple will offer to freeze the eggs of productive female employees.

The move will let them keep their tits their noses to the grindstone, cranking out web pages and policy manuals and filing complaints about the cafeteria food throughout their productive years. Then they can have a baby at age 70, and hire someone who can actually bear it, nurse it, pick it up, and remember its name, and might adopt it when they die when the kid is 5. Full story»

1973-amc-hornet-1973-amc-hornet-x
JACKSONVILLE, Florida -- A Florida man has been sentenced in the death of a fellow Floridian over loud thug music.

"Florida schools teach never to criticize a driver for loud thug music," the prosecutor said, "because the driver is often a loud thug." That was true in this case, and shooter Michael Dunn "put him down." Judge Russell Healey told the shooter, "Your life is effectively over," as the prison ritual includes a regime of desensitization through constant exposure to loud thug music. Full story»


Spacer
UnNewsPANICintheSKIES
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The 132 passengers of the flight that Amber Vinson took were asked to identify themselves to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) for "monitoring."

The CDC said Liberians without Ebola can take municipal buses, because Ebola cannot be caught from other passengers, but Africans with Ebola should not take buses, because it can. U.S. borders remained wide open, as Nancy Pelosi stated, "We have to pass more Liberians, so that you can find out what is in them." Full story»

Ebola bumper sticker
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. President, embarrassed in the past for golfing and fundraising too soon after decapitations and murders of Ambassadors, has confronted the Ebola epidemic head-on: by appointing a "czar" for the disease.

Veteran backslapper Ron Klain has political experience that should let him utter any required inanities — while his complete lack of medical experience will keep him from getting bogged down in technical details such as the inconsistency of his statements. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • panic for "PANIC in the SKIES"
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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