Template:Lead articles

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<!--
 
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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles. Click Preview and
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detailed instructions will appear.
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|type_ =
 
|title_ =
 
|short_title_ =
 
|summary_ =
 
}}
 
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Pantohorse01.jpg
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|dept = DEFLATE-GATE
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|image = Flat football.jpg
|title = Pantomime horses are 'really humans' scandal
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|title = Judge throws out Brady suspension
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|border = none
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|summary = '''FOXBORO, [[Massachusetts]]''' -- Marquee [[NFL]] quarterback [[Tom Brady]]'s four-game suspension has been overturned by a federal court.
   
Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.
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Judge Richard Berman reviewed the entire evidence in the case, looked at the plaintiffs and defendants, then signed his verdict, which read in its entirety: "You are all [[moron]]s! Now, [[GTFO|get out of my courtroom]]!"
   
In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free [[Guinness]] tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in [[Fish_pun#Alternatives_to_the_fish_pun|blinkers]] and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from [[Newcastle]].
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
}}<!--
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = silvio sylvia.jpg
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|dept = NAVELISM
<!-- |type = -->
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|image = Bitcoin.jpg
|title = Silvio moves on
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|title = Uncyclopedia unaffected by Wikipedia scam
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''ROME, Italy'''
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|border = none
Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.
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|summary = '''[[Wikicities|WIKIA CITY]], [[California]]''' -- Administrators of [[Uncyclopedia]] claim that that [[website]] is unaffected by an extortion scam gripping [[Wikipedia]] in which editors create vanity pieces on famous corporations, then solicit reimbursement or "protection money."
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Uncyclopedia claims that [[nobody cares]] what is on its pages, nor would pay to have them changed in one direction or another. If someone wishes to, however, it should be with something that technically is not [[money]] — perhaps [[Bitcoin]]s.
   
''"It was the age problem"'', said the sober Silvio at a press conference, ''"she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty"''.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Nunwendy01.jpg
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|dept = none
<!-- |type = -->
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|image = C3POAmy.jpg
|title = Race for Pope brings forth some unusual candidates
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|title = Ashley Madison using bots instead of women
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Rome|ROME]], [[Italy]]''' --
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[San Francisco|SAN FRANCISCO]], [[California]]''' -- Gizmodo has reported that Ashley Madison is full of [[robots]] impersonating women and has very few real women on the [[website]] at all.
   
The race to become the next [[Catholic]] [[Pope]] has got a lot of <s>gamblers</s> people eager to influence the choice of who replaces [[Pope Benedict XVI]] when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.
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Suspicions were first raised when Gizmodo coder Don “the [[data]] Perkins, on a mission to lose his virginity before his 40th birthday in October, was fixed up with a spidery-looking spray-painting robot.
   
The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope [[wikipedia:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]] 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary [[Donald Rumsfeld]] heading another list on the ''Unknown knowns''.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
}}<!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Chelsea1.jpg
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|dept = none
<!-- |type = -->
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|image = Chris Christie.jpg
|title = President Chelsea Clinton jubilant as Bashar al-Assad dies of old age
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|title = Christie: Let's bar-code immigrants
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Washington DC |WASHINGTON DC]]''' -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that [[Syria]]’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred [[Disney|Plutoc]][[rats]].
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|border = none
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|summary = '''LACONIA, [[New Hampshire]]''' -- Chris Christie ([[Republican Party|R]]-[[New Jersey|NJ]]) has proposed that a bar-coded sticker be attached to the forehead of every [[Illegal immigration|illegal immigrant]].
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Any federal official with a compatible wand could scan [[Mexicans]], to ensure that everyone standing around in the [[Home Depot]] parking lot arrives at some nearby [[construction]] site.
   
President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = LordJimbo.jpg
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|dept = none
<!-- |type = -->
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|image = Brexitfilm.jpg
|title = Wikia to offer "gold membership" for wikis
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|title = UKIP to launch independent independence campaign
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''EVIL WIKIA&trade; HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, [[California]]''' -- In order to address the flight from Wikia&trade; over issues of advertisements, Wikia&trade; has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[Doncaster|DONCASTER]], [[England]]''' -- [[Nigel Farage]] has announced that the [[UKIP|UK Independence Party]] will wage a referendum campaign to have [[Britain]] leave the [[EU]], independently to the rest of Westminster.
   
"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said [[Jimbo Wales]], CEO and evil overlord of [[Wikia]]&trade;. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements.
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Farage called this a continuation of UKIP party [[Traditional Values|tradition]] of being independent of anything possible even of people with the same views.
   
}}
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 10:33, September 4, 2015

Flat football
UnNews Logo Potato1DEFLATE-GATE
FOXBORO, Massachusetts -- Marquee NFL quarterback Tom Brady's four-game suspension has been overturned by a federal court.

Judge Richard Berman reviewed the entire evidence in the case, looked at the plaintiffs and defendants, then signed his verdict, which read in its entirety: "You are all morons! Now, get out of my courtroom!" Full story»


Bitcoin
UnNews Logo Potato1NAVELISM
WIKIA CITY, California -- Administrators of Uncyclopedia claim that that website is unaffected by an extortion scam gripping Wikipedia in which editors create vanity pieces on famous corporations, then solicit reimbursement or "protection money."

Uncyclopedia claims that nobody cares what is on its pages, nor would pay to have them changed in one direction or another. If someone wishes to, however, it should be with something that technically is not money — perhaps Bitcoins. Full story»

C3POAmy
SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Gizmodo has reported that Ashley Madison is full of robots impersonating women and has very few real women on the website at all.

Suspicions were first raised when Gizmodo coder Don “the data” Perkins, on a mission to lose his virginity before his 40th birthday in October, was fixed up with a spidery-looking spray-painting robot. Full story»


Chris Christie
LACONIA, New Hampshire -- Chris Christie (R-NJ) has proposed that a bar-coded sticker be attached to the forehead of every illegal immigrant.

Any federal official with a compatible wand could scan Mexicans, to ensure that everyone standing around in the Home Depot parking lot arrives at some nearby construction site. Full story»

Brexitfilm
DONCASTER, England -- Nigel Farage has announced that the UK Independence Party will wage a referendum campaign to have Britain leave the EU, independently to the rest of Westminster.

Farage called this a continuation of UKIP party tradition of being independent of anything possible — even of people with the same views. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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