Template:Lead articles

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<!--
 
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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles, as follows:
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|image_ =
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|short_title_ =
 
|short_title_ =
 
|summary_ =
 
|summary_ =
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}}http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Template:Lead_articles?action=edit
   
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Pantohorse01.jpg
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|image = Damnnation1.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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<!-- |type = navel-gazing -->
|title = Pantomime horses are 'really humans' scandal
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|title = Russian currency crisis ends
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Moscow|MOSCOW]], [[Russia]]''' -- {{InlineMedia|Russian currency crisis ends}} [[Vladimir Putin|Putin]]'s government announced that the economic crisis has ended, except for routine aftershocks such as massive price increases, unavailability of products, bankruptcies, and street protests.
   
Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.
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The [[ruble]] has dropped to record lows, and thus has nowhere to go but back up. The obvious consequence will be an era of stability, lasting all the way up to the next [[End Time|cataclysm]].
   
In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free [[Guinness]] tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in [[Fish_pun#Alternatives_to_the_fish_pun|blinkers]] and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from [[Newcastle]].
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
}}<!--
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = silvio sylvia.jpg
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|image = Burned Out Building.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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|type = navel-gazing
|title = Silvio moves on
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|title = UnNews moves offshore
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''ROME, Italy'''
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|summary = '''[[Wikicities|WIKIA CITY]], [[California]]''' -- [[UnNews]] officials confirmed that, effective at the New Year, its headquarters will relocate to a new suite in sunny [[Chihuahua, Mexico]] with attractive rough-hewn wood decor and black trim.
Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.
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UnNews publisher '''Morris Greeley''' denied that the move was prompted by its plans to hire a 50th worker, which would include it in the health-care mandates of recent [[U.S.]] [[law]]. "Benefits was not a consideration," said Greeley. "We hire young and sack at the first onset of grey hair."
   
''"It was the age problem"'', said the sober Silvio at a press conference, ''"she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty"''.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Nunwendy01.jpg
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|image = Kim-Jong-Un-Funny.jpg
<!-- |type = -->
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<!-- |type = navel-gazing -->
|title = Race for Pope brings forth some unusual candidates
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|title = "The Interview" to be shown after all
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Rome|ROME]], [[Italy]]''' --
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|summary = '''[[Hollywood|HOLLYWOOD]]''' -- [[Sony|Sony Pictures]] will allow tiny [[Texas|Alamo Theatres]] to show ''The Interview,'' its "goofy comedy" about the [[CIA]] trying to assassinate [[Kim Jong-Un]].
   
The race to become the next [[Catholic]] [[Pope]] has got a lot of <s>gamblers</s> people eager to influence the choice of who replaces [[Pope Benedict XVI]] when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.
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The movie, which was an act of war, was responded to by the reclusive nation by a complete hack of the corporation, which was not an act of war but put the [[U.S. Government]] into a "dilemma." It put Sony into a bigger dilemma, as Sony can be sued.
   
The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope [[wikipedia:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]] 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary [[Donald Rumsfeld]] heading another list on the ''Unknown knowns''.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
}}<!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Chelsea1.jpg
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|image = Hands Up.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = President Chelsea Clinton jubilant as Bashar al-Assad dies of old age
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|title = Rioters chant, "Hands up!"
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Washington DC |WASHINGTON DC]]''' -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that [[Syria]]’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred [[Disney|Plutoc]][[rats]].
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|summary = '''[[Washington, D.C.|WASHINGTON, D.C.]]''' -- New riots have broken out in [[America]]'s capital to protest [[African American]]s being asked to reach items on the top shelf of the [[Walmart|supermarket]].
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Protesters flooded onto the street here to make the point that no innocent black man should ever be asked to cooperate with another [[American]] based on superficial traits such as height.
   
President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = LordJimbo.jpg
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|image = Bastionbooger.jpg
 
<!-- |type = -->
 
<!-- |type = -->
|title = Wikia to offer "gold membership" for wikis
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|title = European Court: Fat is a disability
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''EVIL WIKIA&trade; HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, [[California]]''' -- In order to address the flight from Wikia&trade; over issues of advertisements, Wikia&trade; has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.
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|summary = '''[[Bologna|BOLOGNA]], [[France]]''' -- [[Europe]]'s [[Cocaine|highest]] court has ruled that being fat is a disability, meaning [[work]]ers must get special parking spaces next to a winch, all-you-can-eat deals at the company cafeteria, and an after-work [[dating]] club where everyone ignores unattractiveness.
   
"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said [[Jimbo Wales]], CEO and evil overlord of [[Wikia]]&trade;. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements.
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[[U.K.]] Prime Minister [[David Cameron]] scoffed at the idea that the ruling would give traction to a rash groundswell to pull the U.K. out of the [[European Union]] entirely.
   
}}
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 00:51, December 26, 2014

Damnnation1
MOSCOW, Russia -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) Putin's government announced that the economic crisis has ended, except for routine aftershocks such as massive price increases, unavailability of products, bankruptcies, and street protests.

The ruble has dropped to record lows, and thus has nowhere to go but back up. The obvious consequence will be an era of stability, lasting all the way up to the next cataclysm. Full story»


Burned Out Building
UnNewsNAVEL-GAZING
WIKIA CITY, California -- UnNews officials confirmed that, effective at the New Year, its headquarters will relocate to a new suite in sunny Chihuahua, Mexico with attractive rough-hewn wood decor and black trim.

UnNews publisher Morris Greeley denied that the move was prompted by its plans to hire a 50th worker, which would include it in the health-care mandates of recent U.S. law. "Benefits was not a consideration," said Greeley. "We hire young and sack at the first onset of grey hair." Full story»

Kim-Jong-Un-Funny
HOLLYWOOD -- Sony Pictures will allow tiny Alamo Theatres to show The Interview, its "goofy comedy" about the CIA trying to assassinate Kim Jong-Un.

The movie, which was an act of war, was responded to by the reclusive nation by a complete hack of the corporation, which was not an act of war but put the U.S. Government into a "dilemma." It put Sony into a bigger dilemma, as Sony can be sued. Full story»


Hands Up
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- New riots have broken out in America's capital to protest African Americans being asked to reach items on the top shelf of the supermarket.

Protesters flooded onto the street here to make the point that no innocent black man should ever be asked to cooperate with another American based on superficial traits such as height. Full story»

Bastionbooger
BOLOGNA, France -- Europe's highest court has ruled that being fat is a disability, meaning workers must get special parking spaces next to a winch, all-you-can-eat deals at the company cafeteria, and an after-work dating club where everyone ignores unattractiveness.

U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron scoffed at the idea that the ruling would give traction to a rash groundswell to pull the U.K. out of the European Union entirely. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • panic for "PANIC in the SKIES"
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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