Template:Lead articles

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<!--
 
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REMEMBER: PLEASE USE THE "arrange" PARAMETER PROPERLY! EXAMPLES:
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This is {Lead articles}, the template for all five articles on the UnNews Front Page.
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It calls {Lead article}, which renders each of the five articles. Click Preview and
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detailed instructions will appear.
   
| arrange = lead (for the lead story)
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1-SPOT-->{{Lead article
| arrange = left (to place a story on the left)
 
| arrange = right (to place a story on the right)
 
 
ALSO: IF YOU USE NEWLINES BETWEEN TEMPLATE CALLS, COMMENT THEM OUT, OR YOU WILL GET <P></P>s (NEW PARAGRAPHS) IN BETWEEN YOUR NEWS STORIES, WHICH MAY THROW OFF THE SPACING.
 
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: When not using a parameter, please put it between comment tags to prevent it from interfering with the template. When you want to use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it. If the parameter isn't there yet, just add it.
 
 
Types:
 
breaking - for especially timely or time-critical stories
 
special
 
original - for stories with {{Tl|Original}} instead of real sources
 
exclusive - for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive
 
because we're interviewing ourselves
 
urgent
 
editorial - for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
 
column - for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
 
feature - for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
 
 
Add an image_width parameter to change the image width.
 
 
Blank template:
 
{{Lead articles 2/a
 
|arrange = ( lead | left | right )
 
|image_ =
 
|type_ =
 
|title_ =
 
|short_title_ =
 
|summary_ =
 
}}
 
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = lead
 
|arrange = lead
|image = Pantohorse01.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Obama and Malia.jpg
|title = Pantomime horses are 'really humans' scandal
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|title = Kenyan bids on Malia Obama
 
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|summary ='''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' --
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|border = none
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|summary = '''BURETI, [[Kenya]]''' -- Kenyan Felix Kiprono has offered a handsome dowry for Malia Obama, 16, daughter of the [[President]].
   
Small children and parents are angry with the government that much loved pantomime horses are really 100% human.
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The bid of 70 [[sheep]], 50 [[cow]]s, and 30 [[goat]]s activated the [[White House]] Situation Room to determine whether higher bids would be forthcoming from another source. Several aides prepared an auction on [[eBay]], but could not find any personnel who know how to operate a website.
   
In DNA tests conducted by vets after a free [[Guinness]] tasting contest, 20 pantomime horses were examined and to be revealed to be two people in fake horse fur costumes. This was '100% proof' and yes, pour me another'.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
Shocked entertainment agents and talent agencies had long accepted pantomime horses to be genuine. Now it seems that for years the entire industry had been working in [[Fish_pun#Alternatives_to_the_fish_pun|blinkers]] and hadn't carried out their own tests to determine whether a pantomime horse was a genuine equine or was in-fact a machine stitched costume containing two bald middle aged blokes. Possibly from [[Newcastle]].
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2-SPOT-->{{Lead article
}}<!--
 
 
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = silvio sylvia.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Trevor_Baylis.jpg
|title = Silvio moves on
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|title = Baylis appointed England cricket coach
 
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|summary = '''ROME, Italy'''
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|border = none
Media mogul, presidential hopeful and connoisseur of cuddly companions Silvio Berlusconi has regretfully had to let one of his latest acquisitions go. Silvio and the generously endowed Silvia Mammaroni looked like an item for at least a week or so, but despite intimate pizza meetings and facing the incandescent papparazzi, poor Silvia is no longer at his side.
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|summary = '''[[London|LORDS CRICKET GROUND, London]]''' -- Trevor Baylis, 78, the inventor of the wind-up [[radio]], is the England [[cricket]] team’s new head coach.
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The team lined up to hail the success of a really nice old chap landing himself “the big job.” However, others concluded that winning the Ashes just got a little bit harder.
   
''"It was the age problem"'', said the sober Silvio at a press conference, ''"she was getting on a bit, almost thirty you know, and I always said you can't trust a woman over thirty"''.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
   
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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3-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = Nunwendy01.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Joe-biden.jpg
|title = Race for Pope brings forth some unusual candidates
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|title = Biden phones Iraq to make nice
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|short_title = Biden phones Iraq
|summary = '''[[Rome|ROME]], [[Italy]]''' --
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[Baghdad|BAGHDAD]], [[Iraq]]''' -- Vice President [[Joe Biden]] phoned the Iraqi government to patch up relations between the two countries.
   
The race to become the next [[Catholic]] [[Pope]] has got a lot of <s>gamblers</s> people eager to influence the choice of who replaces [[Pope Benedict XVI]] when he steps down. The contest is said to be 'wide open' with a number of possible contenders.
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Unfortunately, the [[Islamic State]] sent actual policymakers to meet with national leaders in person. However, the city's outer defenses were still holding and they couldn't get in.
   
The election which is due in March 2013 is already promising to be the 'dirtiest election' since 1492. This was when Pope [[wikipedia:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]] 'the Borgia Pope' poisoned his rivals to slide his fat Spanish arse onto St.Peter's Chair. So far these are the known candidates, with the former US Defense Secretary [[Donald Rumsfeld]] heading another list on the ''Unknown knowns''.
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}}<hr style="clear:both;width:98%;margin: 0 auto 8px auto;" /><!--
   
}}<!--
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4-SPOT-->{{Lead article
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
 
 
|arrange = left
 
|arrange = left
|image = Chelsea1.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Richiii.png
|title = President Chelsea Clinton jubilant as Bashar al-Assad dies of old age
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|title = Thousands of British Kings buried under car parks
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''[[Washington DC |WASHINGTON DC]]''' -- Yesterday afternoon a cloud of radical Islamic gloom hung over secular Damascus as news spread that [[Syria]]’s long entrenched leader, Bashar al-Assad (82), had finally died of old age. Meanwhile, in Washington news of al-Assad’s timely passing was greeted with joy by President Chelsea Clinton (67) and her team of inbred [[Disney|Plutoc]][[rats]].
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[England|LEICESTER England]],''' -- Just three years after the discovery of King Richard III under a car park, thousands of car park managers are discovering British [[Kings]] under their car parks.
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After the [[Royal Family]] paid 520 years' backlog of parking fines, Philippa Langley has been inundated with calls from car park owners, claiming to also have Kings buried under their car parks.
   
President Clinton said the death of Al-Assad marked a well-orchestrated “strategic victory” for Wall Street and a breath of musty air for western meddling in Middle Eastern tribal affairs.
 
 
}}<!--
 
}}<!--
-->{{Lead articles 2/a
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5-SPOT-->{{Lead article
 
|arrange = right
 
|arrange = right
|image = LordJimbo.jpg
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|dept = none
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|image = Eurovision2015-1.jpg
|title = Wikia to offer "gold membership" for wikis
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|title = UK may pull out of Eurovision in 2016
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
 
<!-- |short_title = -->
|summary = '''EVIL WIKIA&trade; HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, [[California]]''' -- In order to address the flight from Wikia&trade; over issues of advertisements, Wikia&trade; has recently announced an ad-free option. Under the new gold-membership option, a wiki can become ad free in exchange for donations to cover the cost of web hosting.
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|border = none
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|summary = '''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' -- British Prime Minister David Cameron has promised a referendum on [[Great Britain]]'s continued membership of the [[Eurovision]] Song Contest for 2016.
   
"We have had many wikis leave over the issue of advertisements," said [[Jimbo Wales]], CEO and evil overlord of [[Wikia]]&trade;. "By self-hosting, wikis can avoid any unwanted advertisements.
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In a 'dry run' for a 2017 referendum to vote 'in or out' of the [[European Union]], the [[Conservative Party]] will see if there is any point in the UK taking part in an 'annual musical farce'.
   
}}
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}}<noinclude>{{-}}
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{{Lead article doc}}</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 21:32, May 27, 2015

Obama and Malia
BURETI, Kenya -- Kenyan Felix Kiprono has offered a handsome dowry for Malia Obama, 16, daughter of the President.

The bid of 70 sheep, 50 cows, and 30 goats activated the White House Situation Room to determine whether higher bids would be forthcoming from another source. Several aides prepared an auction on eBay, but could not find any personnel who know how to operate a website. Full story»


Trevor Baylis
LORDS CRICKET GROUND, London -- Trevor Baylis, 78, the inventor of the wind-up radio, is the England cricket team’s new head coach.

The team lined up to hail the success of a really nice old chap landing himself “the big job.” However, others concluded that winning the Ashes just got a little bit harder. Full story»

Joe-biden
BAGHDAD, Iraq -- Vice President Joe Biden phoned the Iraqi government to patch up relations between the two countries.

Unfortunately, the Islamic State sent actual policymakers to meet with national leaders in person. However, the city's outer defenses were still holding and they couldn't get in. Full story»


Richiii
LEICESTER England, -- Just three years after the discovery of King Richard III under a car park, thousands of car park managers are discovering British Kings under their car parks.

After the Royal Family paid 520 years' backlog of parking fines, Philippa Langley has been inundated with calls from car park owners, claiming to also have Kings buried under their car parks. Full story»

Eurovision2015-1
LONDON, United Kingdom -- British Prime Minister David Cameron has promised a referendum on Great Britain's continued membership of the Eurovision Song Contest for 2016.

In a 'dry run' for a 2017 referendum to vote 'in or out' of the European Union, the Conservative Party will see if there is any point in the UK taking part in an 'annual musical farce'. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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