Template:Lead articles

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News - Smokey
ALEPPO PROVINCE, Syria -- An ISIS battalion codenamed الجبن المجيد “Glorious Cheese” has shot itself to death following a routine execution.

Only one ISIS militant remained standing when it was all over, and he turned himself into Syrian authorities as a seditionist requesting to be conscripted within the Syrian Army. Full story»


Pasty01
UnNewsNAVEL-GAZING
SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Google has announced that it has replaced Wikipedia with Uncyclopedia as its "trusted news source," following the success of Google's promotion of the British bakers Greggs and their novel advertising campaign, "Providing shit to scum for 70 years."

A spokesbot for Google confirmed that the change was due to the greater reach of Uncyclopedia to create important web traffic compared to "dull and drab" Wikipedia. Full story»

Hmor2
UnNewsNAVEL-GAZING
MENLO PARK, California -- Social-media giant Facebook announced it is experimenting with appending [Satire] to headlines from "the internet's unchecked hoax industry," a move that could falsely impugn UnNews itself.

A typical internet hoax may boast more than a quarter of a million Facebook shares, an amount that often requires a stockbroker. As that information spreads, it takes on the pall of truth faster than a pack-a-day smoker. Full story»


Obama shoots skeets
CHILMARK, Massachusetts -- Shortly after race riots broke out in Missouri, a beheading of a journalist broke out in Iraq, causing a "heartbroken" Obama to guide a key fairway drive to the left (pictured).

In separate news, another Russian invasion broke out in Ukraine, further threatening to distract his transformational Presidency. Full story»

Israelarmy01
JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri -- Missouri Governor Jay Nixon formally asked Israel to help contain violence in Ferguson. Nixon bypassed Barack "Pontius Pilate" Obama, to go straight to the experts at crowd control.

The Governor said his request for Israeli security forces was "temporary" and that they will soon return to Gaza for the next war peacekeeping mission. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Return to the UnNews Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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