Template:Lead articles

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ZURICH, Switzerland -- In a tough 'early bird' game between FIFA and the USA FEDS in the Zurich Baur au Lac Hotel reception, eight players were red-carded, handcuffed, and taken out under a blanket to avoid further humiliation.

FEDS manager Barack Obama said it was a 'great victory for American Soccer,' which marked his country's decision to annex the game and run it out of Washington, D.C. in future. Full story»

Trevor Baylis
LORDS CRICKET GROUND, London -- Trevor Baylis, 78, the inventor of the wind-up radio, is the England cricket team’s new head coach.

The team lined up to hail the success of a really nice old chap landing himself “the big job.” However, others concluded that winning the Ashes just got a little bit harder. Full story»

BAGHDAD, Iraq -- Vice President Joe Biden phoned the Iraqi government to patch up relations between the two countries.

Unfortunately, the Islamic State sent actual policymakers to meet with national leaders in person. However, the city's outer defenses were still holding and they couldn't get in. Full story»

LEICESTER England, -- Just three years after the discovery of King Richard III under a car park, thousands of car park managers are discovering British Kings under their car parks.

After the Royal Family paid 520 years' backlog of parking fines, Philippa Langley has been inundated with calls from car park owners, claiming to also have Kings buried under their car parks. Full story»

Obama and Malia
BURETI, Kenya -- Kenyan Felix Kiprono has offered a handsome dowry for Malia Obama, 16, daughter of the President.

The bid of 70 sheep, 50 cows, and 30 goats activated the White House Situation Room to determine whether higher bids would be forthcoming from another source. Several aides prepared an auction on eBay, but could not find any personnel who know how to operate a website. Full story»

Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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