Template:Lead articles

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Downtown cold
OTTAWA, Ontario -- A cold wave of unprecedented proportions has hit the Land of the Flying Moose.

The news, which literally hit reporters in the face as soon as they left their houses, reached the front page of various newspapers outlets. "Global warming must be a hoax!" titled the Globe and Mail. As the more simplistic Toronto Sun put it, "Global warming trolololol!" Across the border, six feet of global warming fell on Buffalo, New York. Full story»


New barack obama Bunny copy
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Obama reacted to his party's landslide election loss by using a power that last year he insisted he did not have, favoring illegals who have remained in the U.S. without credentials for the five years that he has remained in the White House without credentials.

Shocked Republicans huddled in a Senate cloakroom to devise a more clever gimmick, though avoiding talk of impeachment, impounding funds, or frowning. Several cautioned that saying "No" to Obama might make the left wing call them the "party of No" again and cost them another election, like the one they just swept. Full story»

1428239 aftermath300
FERGUSON, Missouri -- Organizers have opened bidding on premium seating for riots that could occur as soon as a grand jury classifies a shocking white-on-black murder as self-defense. They insist the victim was unarmed, as his attempt to wrestle the officer's gun away had not yet succeeded.

A coalition asked for 36 hours' notice before the decision, and demanded that police not use "menacing" equipment like bulletproof vests, which would deny rioters a non-threatening work environment. Full story»


Obama in monkey suit
DEEP SPACE XI, Milky Way -- U.S. President Barack Obama, responding to losing to a party with nothing to say beyond, "We're not Obama," took his new Relevance Initiative to a comet.

Mr. Obama negotiated a global warming treaty with pod person Xinping XI. But XI then arrested Obama, paraded him in front of other pod people in a prisoner suit, and patted him on the head. Full story»

Philea
KLANGER TOWN, Centre of the Known Universe -- It was a big big day at Klanger Town, as we welcomed our first alien to land here since Major Tom floated by some years back.

"I hope we can soon make contact with our visitors," said leading Klanger, Major Kilgore Klanger. But not all Klangers have shown to be happy with the arrival. The Ku Kluck Klangers have already put on their white tinfoil. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • panic for "PANIC in the SKIES"
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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