Template:Lead articles

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Hands Up
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- New riots have broken out in America's capital to protest African Americans being asked to reach items on the top shelf of the supermarket.

Protesters flooded onto the street here to make the point that no innocent black man should ever be asked to cooperate with another American based on superficial traits such as height. Full story»


Richard Pittenger
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah -- A man got a piece of his teenage years back when police returned a shotgun stolen from his truck in 1977.

The AP said Richard Pittenger's first reaction was to grouse that police should "return my youth rather than just the gun." Police state that that would require a more detailed written request, a criminal background check, and a 30-day wait to see if anyone else claimed his youth. Full story»

CometRosetta
COMET 67P -- Scientists at the European Space Agency (ESA) have been left red-faced after taking three photos of the comet 67P with different filters, only to find out that the seemingly grey comet was actually grey.

ESA spokesperson Ariane Espace said, "these photos really changed the way we look at comets," rather more than they changed the way comets look. Full story»


Plumber's truck
THE CALIPHATE -- Popular Texas plumber Mark Oberholtzer has cleverly refitted his pick-up truck to hold an anti-aircraft gun rather than the usual ladders, PVC pipes, and perhaps a plunger and is in the service of the radical Paula al-Deen Front on the front lines of Syria.

A London newspaper doubted the photos are authentic, publishing photos of other vehicles of the same color shooting at the same thing from the same small hill. But Sony said the enemies of the West are not even aware that photographs can be "shooped." Full story»

King Dollar
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. economy is being battered by unexpectedly falling oil prices, which may thwart a sixth straight "Summer of Recovery" or even delay the closing of Gitmo.

Ford, frantically redesigning the F-150 truck without steel, called itself a victim, as few will pay extra for a cardboard truck when gas is so cheap. But Ford's lobbyists could not seek a repeal of federal fuel-efficiency rules, as they were all busy demanding new laws against Tesla selling cars without dealerships. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.

  • type
    • Normally none; otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • navel-gazing for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • urgent
    • panic for "PANIC in the SKIES"
    • editorial for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using type, set it to none. Just blanking it doesn't work. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!== short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
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