Template:Lead articles

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000 TS-Par7809773
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House warned Russia on Friday that Moscow would face tougher sanctions if it failed to abide by a new international deal on Virginia or moved to send Russian forces into Washington, D.C.

National security adviser Susan Rice said Washington was watching whether Russia got the uniformed and well-equipped pro-Russian separatists in Maryland to disarm and abandon public buildings they had seized. White House sources say the administration has set a solid red line on action, should Russian tanks move past Independence Avenue. Full story»

ABERDEEN, UK -- Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond shot down a British Army helicopter over the city of Aberdeen.

In a press availability, with his blue face paint shimmering in the heat of the moment, Mr. Salmond blamed Westminster for sending it. David Cameron said that a planned election this Wednesday on uniting Aberdeen with neighbouring Dundee to create a new "Scottish Kingdom" is illegal. But Nigel Farage said he admires Mr. Salmond for "standing up to the West." Full story»

MOSCOW, Russia -- Vladimir Putin announced that British UKIP party leader Nigel Farage will stand in as temporary Prime Minister of Russia. Farage, who has taken UKIP to centre stage by shoving hot custard pies down the trousers of British Prime Minister David Cameron, said he was 'delighted' with the offer, which will involve opening fetes, kissing babies and sucking the toes of Russia's oligarchs.

French National Front leader Marine Le Pen was said to be 'keen as Dijon mustard' to have to have her turn as Putin's girl. Full story»

Marathon Intruder
BOSTON, Massachusetts -- The Boston Marathon was won by an actual American, rather than a starving African, for the first time in 31 years.

On Twitter, President Barack Obama congratulated Meb Keflezighi and the top female American finisher "for making America proud" rather than leaving it to other Americans to make America proud by being the top American finishers. He hardly had a twinkle in his eye when mentioning the Kenyan winner of the women's race. Full story»

Ribbon-cutting in Parral
SNAKE'S HIPS, Nevada -- Troops resembling the Russian Army, presumably not satisfied with the capture of the Crimea last month, seem ready to bite a huge chunk off the tip of this pizza-shaped Western U.S. state. Defending the territory 80 miles northeast of Las Vegas is a rag-tag citizen militia, fresh from a home showing of Red Dawn and ready to take on the Roosky invaders.

Rancher Cliven Bundy, who became famous as the hard-luck women's shoe salesman in Married with Children, told Glenn Beck it is bigger than a financial dispute. Full story»

Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Return to the UnNews Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
Use of "type=" produces graphics like this. Use them only in the 1-Spot. In the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens.
  • type — Normally none or leave blank. Otherwise, one of the following:
    • breaking for especially timely or time-critical stories
    • special
    • original for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • exclusive for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • urgent
    • editorial (2.1) for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • column (2.1) for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
    • feature (2.1) for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional--If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using any of the above parameters (typically type and short_title), comment out the whole thing to prevent it from interfering with the template. To use a previously unused parameter, simply remove the comment tags from around it.
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