Template:Lead articles

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
DavidCameronSwat1
LONDON, United Kingdom -- British Prime Minister David Cameron has announced extensive measures to fight 'swarms of illegal ants' trying to enter the country and blocking the French port of Calais.

Cameron says the 'fight' against the large ants — of type 'migr' — will be equal to anything the country had faced in 1940 when Hitler had conquered Europe. Full story»

Grads
DURHAM, New Hampshire -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) Experts in the United States have published the annual revision of the list of words it is offensive to utter.

Educators compiled 50 terms dealing with class, ethnicity, disability, and sodomy that it would be unacceptably painful for anyone to hear, especially if anyone had completed university orientation. Full story»


Sewel
WESTMINSTER, London -- Lord Sewel insisted that video footage allegedly showing the Peer snorting cocaine off two prostitute's chests was merely a misinterpreted "family video."

Sewel added that, despite these accusations, he has no intention of quitting his position as arbiter of standards and conduct in the House of Lords. Full story»

Mitch McConnell
WASHINGTON, D.C -- The U.S. Senate met in a rare Sunday session so that both political parties could show they had not grown rusty at hypocrisy.

The occasion was the highway spending bill, on which both parties were allowed amendments. Republicans got to vote to repeal Obama-care, as it had been weeks since such a vote. Like the previous four dozen votes, it had no actual effect. Democrats, for their part, revived the Export-Import Bank — then resumed bashing the rich. Full story»


Martin O'Malley
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) Both U.S. political parties are racing to get a handle on an annoying spate of candidates speaking plainly.

The issue came to a head as Democrat Martin O'Malley improvised at a #BlackLivesMatter rally, declaring that "white lives matter." However, the Republican Party is also in turmoil, as Donald Trump said Mexicans who violate U.S. immigration law might not have the nation's best interests at heart. Full story»

Ant cartoon
NEW YORK CITY -- The Superhero world is in deep shock this morning as one of the planet’s very first — but until recently, mostly unknown — superhero Ant-Man was tragically burned to death by a 500°C. heat ray of focused energy directly from the sun yesterday.

On the verge of being the first superhero from the formicate insect family to become a household name, Ant-Man stood no chance as seven-year-old Zach Thompson incinerated the compact crime-fighter with a magnifying glass as he was transiting a garden patio in a Brooklyn suburb. Full story»



Instructions for {{Lead articles}} (Edit them) (Return to the Front Page):

  • arrangePlease use this properly!--Indicates the article's layout on the Front Page:
    • lead One-across (the article in the "1-spot")
    • left Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the left side
    • right Of the pairs of side-by-side articles, the article on the right side
  • image — The image name (omit File:). There should always be an image, but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif will be used
  • dept — An optional "department" legend that will appear centered above the headline. Use them only in the 1-Spot; in the side-by-side leads (2- through 5-Spots), these graphics mess up rendering on smaller screens. Lowercase letters will become small capitals, but they won't look very good. Typical "departments" are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_titleOptional — If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space will be output that will throw off the relation between articles.
  • If not using dept, set it to none. If not using short_title, turn the whole line into a comment: <!-- short_title= -->. To put it back into service, just remove the special characters. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.
Personal tools
projects