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Today's Featured Article - Caliphate

Alibaba02

A Caliphate is the idea, gaining currency in the Middle East, that it would be even better than having 57 piss-ant countries that cover their women head-to-toe and stop working five times a day to check their compasses and engage in group prayers, to instead have one huge-mothah-country, stretching from Africa to Indonesia, with colonies in London and in American ghettos and prisons, that does the same thing.

The caliphate would be ruled by a caliph, much as phosphates drunk at soda fountains in upstate Michigan are ruled by a phosph. The caliph would essentially be the dictator of the Muslim world. However, he would be the most holy of clerics, and definitely not the result of politics, assassination, and treachery. His official duties would be limited to interpreting the Koran; also, to chopping off the limbs of persons with different interpretations.

Experts believe that Islam's current infatuation with restoring the ancient caliphate is somewhat less dangerous than having Vladimir Putin reassemble the old Soviet Union, though we may still get 'two for the price of one.'

The first caliph was Abu Bakr, known in the U.S. Air Force as 'Able Baker.' When Mohammed died in 632, the Muslim leadership chose him over the prophet's son-in-law Ali and his daughter Fatima, a well known javelin-thrower. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Space Shuttle Challenger

Challengercrew

The Space Shuttle Challenger (NASA Orbiter Vehicle Designation: OV-099) (born: 1983; died: 1986) was the largest government fireworks show ever put on, not even coinciding with Independence Day but serving as an early commemoration of Presidents Day (now "Martin Luther King's Birthday," which was not yet celebrated nationwide).

The Challenger project shows that — despite recent American history in which U.S. Presidents brazenly sacrifice military and diplomatic personnel for the sake of a safe re-election, a "theme" for a Presidency, or an inspiring media event — the tendency to treat people as expendable props went all the way back to Ronald Reagan and was not confined to defending Marines in Lebanon by sentries with unloaded weapons.

The January 28, 1986 launch of OV-099 (which had a number of its own: STS-51-L) was no ordinary space launch. For one thing, a schoolteacher was going to be on board. For another thing, President Ronald Reagan was going to telephone the astronauts with a greeting. Reagan would make carefully scripted remarks demonstrating his commitment to Public Education despite slashing funds because of that silly "It's not in the Constitution" preoccupation of his. The launch was a perfect example of what Americans would now call Homeland Security. It had to go forward despite pesky obstacles, such as the fact that the bitter cold temperature on January 28 would normally call for the launch to be aborted. (more...)

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