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Being very serious is something important and essential to our continued survival. It should, therefore, not be joked about. In order to respect and pay humble tribute to the noble practice of being very serious this article shall retain an air of gravitas that is perhaps unusual for the proceedings of the routine Uncyclopedian. If you came for the giggles, then I apologize, but you must leave. Though I write in hope, trusted reader, that you will bear with me on this most earnest and austere of probings.
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Playwright, novelist, musician, poet, philanthropist, historian and short story writer: these are just some of the professions of individuals that Oscar Wilde has corrupted with his rampant sexuality and Rabelaisian appetites.
A man whose wisdom touches on nearly every conceivable topic, often without consent, which in turn has led to several lawsuits. Reknown'd for his beautiful diction and his skilled oratory, Oscar is without doubt one of the leading literary figures of the last few millennia.