Template:Featuredarticle

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(A double dose of Mhaille. +Oscar Wilde)
(updated, can now handle 5 days between features with no problem)
 
(19 intermediate revisions by 4 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
<div style="float:left;margin-right:0.9em">
+
{{Template:Featuredarticle/include|{{lastfeature}}}}<noinclude>[[Category:Main page templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>
{{FeatArticleImg|Oscar.jpg|100px}}
 
</div> __NOTOC__ __NOEDITSECTION__
 
<!--- New featured article goes below this line, Copy and paste to below/--------->
 
Playwright, novelist, musician, poet, philanthropist, historian and short story writer: these are just some of the professions of individuals that '''[[Oscar Wilde]]''' has corrupted with his rampant sexuality and Rabelaisian appetites.
 
 
A man whose wisdom touches on nearly every conceivable topic, often without consent, which in turn has led to several lawsuits. Reknown'd for his [[Penis|beautiful diction]] and his [[Oral Sex|skilled oratory]], Oscar is without doubt one of the leading literary figures of the last few millennia.
 
 
'''([[Oscar Wilde|more...]])'''
 
 
Recently featured: [[The Diary of Anne Frank]] - [[Geocaching]] - [[UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture]] - [[HowTo:Be a Gangsta]] - [[UnBooks:The World According to Garm]]
 
 
<div align="right" class="noprint">
 
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''
 
</div>
 
 
<h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> Yesterday's featured article </h2>
 
 
<div style="float:left;margin-right:0.9em;margin-top:0.5em">
 
{{FeatArticleImg|Anne Frank.jpg|100px}}
 
</div> __NOTOC__ __NOEDITSECTION__
 
<!--- Old article goes below this line /----->
 
'''[[The Diary of Anne Frank|The diary of Anne Frank]]''', the child prodigy and mathematical genius, was only discovered shortly after her very early death in 1945. Born in [[Germany]], Anne spent her childhood in [[Amsterdam]] which she described in her diaries as "like, boring!"
 
 
Her fixation on her classmate Klaus and their blossoming relationship is heartwarming, acting as a counterpoint to the violence of World War II that was exploding all around them.
 
 
Anne resolved to begin a "Diary Project" in which the life of the entire nation would be chronicled, thus creating a vast reserve of propaganda to fight World War II with. Unfortunately, she couldn't figure out who to fight, finally settling for squaring off her mom against Mrs. Van Pels (Mrs. Van Daan) in the wrestling ring, and calling it a day. Over the next four years her diary expanded to twice the size of ''War and Peace'', with little of the Russian classic's gravitas or import. Still, the Diary is a sentimental favorite.
 
 
<noinclude>[[Category:Main page templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>
 

Latest revision as of 01:42, December 11, 2008

Today's Featured Article - Power

Creation of the Sun and Moon face detail

Power . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about power? Not much! That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about power which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have power right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.

I could have power? Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has power. I have power and as a result I feel a certain kinship towards others with power. I'd love to hear more about power! Of course you would!

Power is as old as the human race itself, the earliest humans had a great deal of power. It is often said that almost every single male human had power, wild ungovernable power! As humans spread across the globe their power began to diminish.Why?

The machinations of fate! Many lost touch with that, which they should have held dear, they believed that they could cope without power, some even argued that a lack of power was better. However, in Ancient Egypt the Pharaohs recognised power and sought to limit those amongst their populace who could possess it, while simultaneously seeking to contain and control their own power lest it be used for evil. It is widely accepted, by everyone who matters, that the Pharaoh's of Ancient Egypt wielded power more gracefully than any other civilisation to date, however this was not to last. Amenemhat III, the last ruler of the middle kingdom of Egypt scoffed at the idea of power and, despite the pleas of his closest advisers, many of whom tried to show him the advantages of having power, he attempted to rule without it.

It came as no surprise to anybody when the fields flooded, the harvest failed, the economy collapsed and the bedrock of Egyptian society crumbled. All because of power. The Ancient Greeks sought to reclaim power for the masses by insisting that everybody have power and their society flourished as a result. Hippocrates wielded great power, Aristotle arguably wielded even more and Socrates probably wielded the most. You stood out a mile in Ancient Greece without power, not to mention the fact you looked ridiculous. (more...)

Recently featured: Power - Sex scene

Yesterday's Featured Article - Sex scene

Sexscene1

Sex scenes in films is what it is all about really. Forget the rest of the movie, the special effects, fancy dialogue and the locations, what people really want to watch is vigorous, on-screen humping. Even in war movies or animation have subliminal sex splattered all over them. And I won't even bother talking about men stroking their guns in 'Thin Red Line' or super heroes running around in multi-coloured caps and condoms.

What we all want to know is 'are they really doing it?'. A sex scene can be found in a movie, book or television show. It may include explicit sex (as in pornography) or it may only be suggestive of "real" sex, however; as a rule, it is better sex than you have ever had - or ever likely to have. If you have had better sex than that which is depicted in the scene, it is most likely not a real sex scene - it is probably just something weird you get off on.

Sex scenes are often used to get underage minors to watch movies with an "R" rating. Often, the two (or more) people in a sex scene don't like each other, but are just doing it because they are paid to moan and wriggle when a fat slob in a director's chair tells them to. And if it is a real pornographic film, that ugly bloke you always see? - yes that's the producer getting his money shots..but that is more sex obscene.

Film makers are not dumb. They know sex scenes in movies increase profits by up to 7 billion percent but really, when was the last you had sex and said: "Wow! This is just like the movies..."

Yeah, thought so.(more...)

Personal tools
projects