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(A double dose of Mhaille. +Oscar Wilde)
(updated, can now handle 5 days between features with no problem)
 
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Playwright, novelist, musician, poet, philanthropist, historian and short story writer: these are just some of the professions of individuals that '''[[Oscar Wilde]]''' has corrupted with his rampant sexuality and Rabelaisian appetites.
 
 
A man whose wisdom touches on nearly every conceivable topic, often without consent, which in turn has led to several lawsuits. Reknown'd for his [[Penis|beautiful diction]] and his [[Oral Sex|skilled oratory]], Oscar is without doubt one of the leading literary figures of the last few millennia.
 
 
'''([[Oscar Wilde|more...]])'''
 
 
Recently featured: [[The Diary of Anne Frank]] - [[Geocaching]] - [[UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture]] - [[HowTo:Be a Gangsta]] - [[UnBooks:The World According to Garm]]
 
 
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'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''
 
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<h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> Yesterday's featured article </h2>
 
 
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'''[[The Diary of Anne Frank|The diary of Anne Frank]]''', the child prodigy and mathematical genius, was only discovered shortly after her very early death in 1945. Born in [[Germany]], Anne spent her childhood in [[Amsterdam]] which she described in her diaries as "like, boring!"
 
 
Her fixation on her classmate Klaus and their blossoming relationship is heartwarming, acting as a counterpoint to the violence of World War II that was exploding all around them.
 
 
Anne resolved to begin a "Diary Project" in which the life of the entire nation would be chronicled, thus creating a vast reserve of propaganda to fight World War II with. Unfortunately, she couldn't figure out who to fight, finally settling for squaring off her mom against Mrs. Van Pels (Mrs. Van Daan) in the wrestling ring, and calling it a day. Over the next four years her diary expanded to twice the size of ''War and Peace'', with little of the Russian classic's gravitas or import. Still, the Diary is a sentimental favorite.
 
 
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Latest revision as of 01:42, December 11, 2008

Today's Featured Article - UnScripts:Oedipus Rex Rides Again

OedipusKing2

Oedipus Rex Rides Again is a classical masterpiece that has inspired little discussion amongst those normally interested in such works. Written by Sophocles' sister, Sophoclesis, in 300 BC or shortly thereafter, the play has always been included in any remarkable library - yet strangely avoided. Since Uncyclopedia avoids nothing, the time has come to bring this magnificent piece of our cultural heritage to light.

Classical literature (as everyone knows) was born from a screaming need (circa 500 BC). Authors of the period simply had to write something, anything at all. They didn't bother with complicated plots or many-faceted characters. The main thing was to get literature going, and so they created a plethora of one-track-minded heroes hell-bent on destroying whatever happened to annoy them even slightly. Arguably, the Iliad, the Odyssey, and the Holy Bible are the best examples of classical literature to have survived the storms of the ages, the burning of libraries, the rampage of the Vandals, and other calamities the Fates so nonchalantly dealt our way.

To survive through centuries, a text has to be valid in any era. A good example is the chapters in the Bible that describe the building of a prayer tent. Another equally valuable piece of wisdom are the words Achilles aims at his friend Polycarbon: "Go to the mount Ida and seek the hermit living there, o friend, and ask him to gather parsley, sticks of sycamore, and a tusk of a wild boar, not older than five years, not younger than six. Tell him to mix these ingredients in a large cauldron and piss onto them. Let the dogs not drink the potion but store it in a dry, cool place." (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Real Ale

Fatd01

Ahh..Real Ale. It's been the favourite tipple of the working man and anyone else who enjoys a refreshing, healthy drink that's full of flavour and goodness ever since it was invented by the Ancient Egyptians more than 6,000 years ago. Back in the days of the Pharaohs Real Ale was brewed from a mixture of sand, crushed dead beetles and cat's urine - the recipe has changed since then, of course - but not much!...Real Ale has the same delicious taste that has made it the most popular drink in the world ever since.

Real Ale forms part of the culture in many beer-drinking nations and has acquired various social traditions and associations, such as beer festivals and a rich pub culture involving activities such as pub crawling and pub games such as bar billiards and fighting.

The term Real Ale was invented during the 1970s when an organisation was created with the aims of protecting Britain's time-honoured tradition of brewing and drinking the types of beer henceforth known as Real Ale - since the late 1950s, people had increasingly been turning their backs on Real Ale and instead drinking much more unreal ale, which is also called nothing, and worst of all lager which has no flavour and is only suitable for homosexuals and girls. To be classified as a Real Ale, a beer must be "brewed from traditional ingredients, matured by secondary fermentation in the container from which it is dispensed." Like Germany's Rheinheitsgebot beer purity law, this can be seen as quite restrictive - however, anybody who knows anything about the history of beer can tell you that, over the millennia, it has been brewed from all sorts of things. In addition to common ingredients such as wheat and barley, beer has also been made at various times from wood, pine martins, pebbles, toad's breath, cheese and old car tyres; so just about anything can be considered a 'traditional' ingredient...(more...)

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