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== [[UnNews:Movie character fails to heed helpful advice]] ==
 
<!-- <section begin=title03102008 />[[UnNews:Movie character fails to heed helpful advice]]<section end=title03102008 /> -->
 
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 3 October 2008
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>3 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|UnNews:Movie character fails to heed helpful advice}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=UnNews:Movie character fails to heed helpful advice|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1223337600 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>7 October 2008</u>}}
 
 
=== 3 October 2008 ===
 
{{FeatArticleImg|Theater.jpg|100px}}
 
[[UnNews:Movie character fails to heed helpful advice|'''SCRANTON, Pennsylvania''']]: Despite numerous warnings, movie character Lola Kimball failed to heed moviegoer Woeisha Johnson's screamed advice at yesterday's 8:30 showing of [[horror film]], [[Death]] [[Clock|Watch]]. The results of her inattentiveness proved fatal.
 
 
"''Don't you open that door, [[bitch]],''" a bubble-gum snapping Johnson screamed excitedly at Lola, who was tensely opening a door with accompanying suspenseful music. "''He in there! He in dat room!''"
 
 
The "he" in question had already earned the disapproval of Johnson for his abusive actions earlier in the movie. After his punching of girlfriend Lola during a heated argument, Johnson exclaimed her disgust for all to hear; "''Oh, no he didn't!''" However, review of the film conducted after the movie's conclusion confirmed that he in fact, did. '''([[UnNews:Movie character fails to heed helpful advice|more]]...)'''
 
 
== [[Get Some Mortgage]] ==
 
<!-- <section begin=title04102008 />[[Get Some Mortgage]]<section end=title04102008 /> -->
 
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 4 October 2008
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>4 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Get Some Mortgage}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Get Some Mortgage|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1223424000 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>8 October 2008</u>}}
 
 
=== 4 October 2008 ===
 
{{FeatArticleImg|Wegro.jpg|100px}}
 
'''[[Get Some Mortgage]]''' is the [[Cliché|slogan]] utilized by [[The Bank|America's Third Bank]] to attract [[teenagers]] to get [[Sub Prime Mortgage Market|mortgage]]s early, through such [[advertising]] means of [[Redundancy|overused clichés]] and teenage [[Mr winkler is GAY|trends]].
 
 
The idea of attracting teenagers to mortgage purchases after [[adult]]s were turned off due to the [[Sub Prime Mortgage Market]] problems. Using advertising [[media]] such as cigarette, alcohol and [[Viagra]] commercials, the advertising plan "Get Some Mortgage" was born. '''([[Get Some Mortgage|more]]...)'''
 
 
== [[The Men in Blood-Stained Overcoats Who Stay Out of Sight, Waiting For Just the Right Moment]] ==
 
<!-- <section begin=title05102008 />[[The Men in Blood-Stained Overcoats Who Stay Out of Sight, Waiting For Just the Right Moment]]<section end=title05102008 /> -->
 
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 5 October 2008
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>5 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|The Men in Blood-Stained Overcoats Who Stay Out of Sight, Waiting For Just the Right Moment}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=The Men in Blood-Stained Overcoats Who Stay Out of Sight, Waiting For Just the Right Moment|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1223510400 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>9 October 2008</u>}}
 
 
=== 5 October 2008 ===
 
{{FeatArticleImg|Nothereheis.jpg|100px}}
 
'''[[The Men in Blood-Stained Overcoats Who Stay Out of Sight, Waiting For Just the Right Moment|The men in blood-stained overcoats who stay out of sight, ''waiting for just the right moment'']],''' although vehemently denied by [[Child Psychology|your psychologist]], are indeed real. We at [[Uncyclopedia]] are here to calm your fears, and help prepare you for the inevitable.
 
 
It's interesting that you "[[conspiracy theory|stumbled over this article]]": Were you just searching for things relevant to your life? Did that stupid [[Random Page]] button drop you here? Did you just turn on your computer to find this page staring you in the face? Did a friend STRONGLY recommend that you look up "The Men in Blood-Stained Overcoats Who Stay Out of Sight, Waiting For Just the Right Moment" [[You're Screwed|as soon as possible]] on a [[Uncyclopedia is the Worst|reputable wiki]]? Whatever the reason, it's clear: Someone... ''or [[Pennywise the Clown|some]][[Gayzilla|THING]]...''
 
<center><big>'''{{cl|red|...IS OUT TO <u>GET</u> <u>YOU</u>}}'''</big></center> '''([[The Men in Blood-Stained Overcoats Who Stay Out of Sight, Waiting For Just the Right Moment|more]]...)'''
 
   
 
== [[Faggot]] ==
 
== [[Faggot]] ==

Revision as of 00:52, October 9, 2008




Faggot

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  • Article feature date: 6 October 2008
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6 October 2008

Bassoons

A faggot is a woodwind instrument in the double reed family, used to play music written in the bass and tenor registers and occasionally even higher, apart from when they have those really annoying squeaky put-on voices sometimes that just put my teeth on edge.

I'm as liberal as the next person, but it just doesn't seem natural to choose to be a faggot player. Because it is a choice, and don't let them tell you any different - they could have picked up any instrument in that music shop, but what did they choose? Not a drum kit or something manly like a trumpet, that's for sure.

Due to the complicated fingering and the problem of reeds, the faggot is one of the more difficult instruments to learn; schoolchildren typically take up the faggot only after starting on another easier instrument. Which means they're perfectly happy when they're kids, and then suddenly they get lured off into that life. I mean what more proof do you need? (more...)

Gerry Cheevers

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7 October 2008

GerryCheevers

Gerry "Buzzsaw" "Hacksaw" "Chainsaw" "Deathtoll" "Manslayer" "Axemaniac" Cheevers was a demi-god who, appearing in the form of a hockey goaltender, backstopped the Boston Bruins to Stanley Cup victories in 1970 and 1972. Emerging from the mythical and legendary Canada under suspicious circumstances, he still holds several NHL records, most of them involving violence of some kind. Known for his beer-drinking abilities and his unusual choice of headgear, Gerry Cheevers is one guy you don't want to fuck around with. (more...)

France

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  • Article feature date: 8 October 2008
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8 October 2008

NightMime

The French are famed for their culinary skills which consists of "baking bread" and "producing hot buns and tarts". There is also the widely adopted pastime of drinking excess coffee so as to be able to stay up late into the night; indeed France is a nation of "midnight alley cats".

The French have also have a great claim to fame by having overpowering unions, which have led to slow industry and the country being in perpetual recession and ruled by crypto-fascist governments since France's defeat in the Second World War. (more...)

Rule of Three

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9 October 2008

Mm3

The Rule of Three is a principle in English writing that suggests a list of three things is inherently funnier, more effective or more sexually satisfying than a list of any other number of things. Often to obtain maximum humour, the third thing in the list breaks the pattern set up by the other two. It is an important comedy writing technique often used in television shows, stand-up comedy routines and erotic novels. The technique can be combined with any other comedy technique including redundancy, random humour and redundancy. It should not be overused, however, as the joke will fast become stale, stagnant and hilarious. (more...)

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