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== [[Scam letter]] ==
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* Article feature date: 30 July 2014
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>30 July 2014<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Scam letter}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1407024000 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>3 August 2014</u>}}
   
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=== 30 July 2014 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Money.jpg|100px|link=Scam letter}}
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'''[[Scam letter|A special letter from your friend.]]''' Dear {{USERNAME}}. Forgive my indignation if this mesage comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing through this channel.
   
== [[Jim Jarmusch]] ==
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I got this web page from the professional Journal when I was searching for a reliable foreigner who would assist me invest the fund which my husband left before her sudden death. After series of prayers/fasting, I was divinely directed to contact you among other names found in the Journal, I believe that God has a way of helping who is in a problem and nobody on earth was born without problem and every problem has a divine solution.
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 8 July 2009
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>8 July 2009<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Jim Jarmusch}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Jim Jarmusch|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1247356800 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>12 July 2009</u>}}
 
   
=== 08 July 2009 ===
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In a brief I am Mrs Jane Mupesa, wife to Ndoga Mupesa of Chiweshe ward in Muzarabani, Mashonaland Central province, who was allegedly killed in cold blood on 5th april 2001 in a ghastly plane crash on the Sagbama Express road by alleged Zanu PF militias and war veterans for supporting the (Mr Morgan Tsvangirai) Movement for Democratic Change, an opposition party to the tyranny Government of President Robert Mugabe.
{{FeatArticleImg|Jim_Jarmusch.jpg|100px}}
 
'''[[Jim Jarmusch]]''' is not a filmmaker. He is an [[artist]] who happens to make films. If you have ever seen a Jarmusch film—and the chances are that you have not because normal theaters can't bear the weight of his brilliance and his films are rarely ever seen except by privileged smart people—and you did not consider it the pinnacle of cinematic artistic genius, then you are a [[moron]].
 
   
You are not worthy.
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Before my husband death as if he foresee what is going to happen to his life, he handed over to me all the documents of money he deposited with private security companies in Europe and Africa as personal effects in disguise ranging from $25.5 Million United States dollars. I have decided to leave my country due to threats on me and my family and seizure of all my husband property including my travelling documents by Mugabe government agents. '''([[Scam letter|more]]...)'''
   
''' Early life '''
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== [[Hans Brinker]] ==
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* Article feature date: 6 August 2014
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>6 August 2014<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Hans Brinker}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1407628800 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>10 August 2014</u>}}
   
Jarmusch was born in black and white silence, from very early on uncannily resembling [[Nick Cave]] with grey hair. His father made wry jokes in which timing and ensuing silence contributed more to the humor than the punch line.
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=== 06 August 2014 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Potter Stewart.jpg|140px|link=Hans Brinker}}
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'''[[Hans Brinker]]''' is the most famous [[Dutch|Dutchman]] ever. He is regarded as the national hero of the [[Netherlands]], by far surpassing the fame of other heroes like Peer Gynt, [[Jan Peter Balkenende]], and the kid on cans of "Dutch Boy" [[paint]]. Brinker's greatest heroic deed was when he stuck his finger in the [[lesbian|dyke]] near Maastricht, thus preventing seawater from flooding the entire country and saving millions of Dutchmen from death by drowning. During this heroic feat, he had to resist angry [[American]] tourists who interpreted the act as a mere obscene gesture directed at them.
   
As a child, he was stuck permanently in a corner of his parents house reading [[Jack Kerouac|Kerouac]]. When he was a little older, he became dreadfully disillusioned, and set out on the road, usually with two other characters, making his way to some destination or other for no considerable reason.'''([[Jim Jarmusch|more]]...)'''
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Brinker subsequently attempted more heroism on the political scene, using the pseudonym Elco Brinkman. Already a national hero, it was easy to get ministerial positions in Dutch cabinets. In his role as Brinkman, he was well-known for his hypnotic stare, which is a signature trait of Dutch heroes. In April 1997, Brinker was elected Pensions Minister of [[Bhutan]], in a surprising write-in ballot on an unannounced election day while most Bhutanese were visiting their mothers. This made him only the third Dutchman to serve in the Bhutanese cabinet. As a result of this oversight, he retained his position for an entire month before the next ritual cabinet reshuffle. '''([[Hans Brinker|more]]...)'''
   
== [[UnTweets:George Peterson]] ==
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== [[A letter about Megan Fox]] ==
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
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* Article feature date: 10 August 2014
* Article feature date: 9 July 2009
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>10 August 2014<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|A letter about Megan Fox}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>9 July 2009<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|UnTweets:George Peterson}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=UnTweets:George Peterson|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold"> FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1407974400 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>14 August 2014</u>}}
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1247443200 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>13 July 2009</u>}}
 
   
=== 09 July 2009 ===
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=== 10 August 2014 ===
{{FeatArticleImg|Twitter logo header.png|100px}}
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{{FeatArticleImg|Megan_Fox.PNG|140px|link=A letter about Megan Fox}}
'''Name:''' George W. Peterson<br>
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'''[[A letter about Megan Fox|My dear parents, Good bye!]]''' I don't write letters very often. To be honest, I have never actually written a real paper letter in my life. So you must be asking yourself what has changed. First of all, you might have noticed that I left home.
'''Location:''' Chilly Parts of Scotland<br>
 
'''Bio:''' Newspaper editor ("The Kinrossie Times"), happily married to not only Sarah, but also to gardening.
 
   
'''Following''' 294<br>
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Oh, I am sure you did, considering the fact that prior to this I said goodbye to all of you and you even responded. Dad said something like: "And buy some vegetables, won’t you?". I am sorry I didn't answer. I was determined to leave and these vegetables could have spoiled everything I had planned. As if Dad could not buy them himself. But when I finally crossed the threshold of a place which had been serving me as a home for many years, I felt like I have done something terribly wrong.
   
'''Followers''' 1007
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And so I had to buy the green peas and carrots and to leave them in front of the door, as well as this letter, which I really hope nobody stole and which I have finished writing on the stairs. Our neighbors wondered what I was doing and whether we had a problem with our electricity so that I had to do my homework outside of the apartment. I told them that this was the case. It was certainly a lie, but it was essential to my survival. You will soon understand why. '''([[A letter about Megan Fox|more]]...)'''
   
'''Saturday May 3rd'''
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== [[UnBooks Biography:The guy who invented soap]] ==
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* Article feature date: 14 August 2014
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>14 August 2014<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|UnBooks Biography:The guy who invented soap}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1408320000 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>18 August 2014</u>}}
   
{{UnTweets/Tweetplate|Went for my fifth "Cabbage Check-Up" a few minutes ago. Sarah thinks I'm mad, but I don't want to miss anything, now do I?|13:35pm May 3rd|web}}
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=== 14 August 2014 ===
{{UnTweets/Tweetplate|Have got to start preparing for new arrival!|14:21pm May 3rd|web}}
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{{FeatArticleImg|Mud-2S.jpg|150px|link=UnBooks Biography:The guy who invented soap}}
{{UnTweets/Tweetplate|Sarah has just brought home the new cat, and she's settling in. She's eight weeks old, ginger, and incredibly excitable. I think she has [[OCD]]. Any ideas for names?|16:09pm May 3rd|web}}
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'''[[UnBooks Biography:The guy who invented soap|Paos]]''', a prehistoric [[wikipedia:Clovis culture|Clovis culture]] American warrior who lived large on the land and reigned over so many women that they could not be counted, invented soap - which is Paos spelled backwards. Men called him their friend, and went to hunt with him, and baked the bread as only a man chef can bake it. Paos The Great, his story we tell.
{{UnTweets/Tweetplate|Sarah has put today's newspaper in the litter tray. Now how am I supposed to find out the news?|16:23pm May 3rd|web}}
 
{{UnTweets/Tweetplate|Just remembered I have the Internet! Who needs newspapers anyway!?|16:25pm May 3rd|web}}'''([[UnTweets:George Peterson|more]]...)'''
 
   
== [[Mrs. God's blog]] ==
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"Bend me into a pretzel, do it now Paos," said Bridgette'a, one of his uncounted women, and a few minutes later Paos listened to her moans and watched as she trembled, shook, and then screamed out "Now wash me, Paos. Wash me!"
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 10 July 2009
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>10 July 2009<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Mrs. God's blog}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Mrs. God's blog|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1247529600 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>14 July 2009</u>}}
 
   
=== 10 July 2009 ===
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Paos didn't know what she talking about. Wash her? What did that even mean?
{{FeatArticleImg|shiva.jpg|100px}}
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"Go to sleep Bridgette'a, now is not the time," Paos said, hoping that this would be enough to get him out of whatever he was in. But it wasn't.
Mrs God’s blog is republished from Facebook with permission of the author.
 
   
'''May 20th, 2009'''
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"Wash me, Paos, please, wash me," Bridgette'a said as she slithered under him, rubbing something on his leg. It was some kind of stick. She wanted him to rub a stick all over her, to knock the dirt and rotting leaves off. "I've gotten into a hell of a jam here," Paos said to himself, using the Clovis culture's ancient word for hell - tlayōhuatizannō pive za. He took the stick from her mud covered hands and started to knock earth and vegetable matter from her limbs.
   
Hiiiii!
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While running the rough bark over her ("You're washing me, Pao, you're washing me!") Paos noticed that some of the stuff had ants in it. Other lumps, those of clay and pebbles, were too solid to have any insect life. In those areas he had to use his fingers to extract embedded pieces of fruit. He had come here for the horseplay, got that over with, and now he was stuck in something very weird. He felt like one of those bronzed idiots down at the beach. '''([[UnBooks Biography:The guy who invented soap|more]]...)'''
   
Just a few words from me, Mrs God. I know you haven’t heard from me much over the years, but now that my hubby’s away…
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== [[Gravity (film)]] ==
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* Article feature date: 19 August 2014
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>19 August 2014<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Gravity (film)}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1408752000 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>23 August 2014</u>}}
   
First of all, let me reassure everyone – “[[God]] is not dead”. We heard a lot of that in the 60s. It wasn’t true then and it’s not true now. Phew!
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=== 19 August 2014 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Kerbal.jpg|150px|link=Gravity (film)}}
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'''[[Gravity (film)|Gravity]]''' is a 2013 science-fiction blockbuster starring Special Effects and Space Debris, with cameos from Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. It quickly became one of the top grossing movies in history, with a combined take of only $100 million less than timeless classics like ''Ice Age: Continental Drift'' and ''Fast & Furious 6.''
   
It '''''IS''''' true that He picked up a bit of a [[coke]] habit and I can tell you, God moved in some peculiar ways back then. But we’ve finally persuaded Him to face His issues and booked Him into [[Rehab]] He said “No, no, no” for thirty years and when God says “No” it’s very hard to change His mind but He's finally checked into the Priory and we're hoping He can work through some of His issues and make a full recovery. '''([[Mrs. God's blog|more]]...)'''
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In a world where global space agencies are run by incompetent nitwits and all objects lie in virtually the same orbit, [[NASA]] has taken the [[Space Shuttle]] out of retirement and is repairing the Hubble Space Telescope a second time. Generically named astronauts Ryan Stone (Bullock) and Matt Kowalski (Clooney) are joined on the mission by several other bit characters whose names neither the director nor the audience care about. Stone is a criminally incompetent PTSD case who cheated her way through astronaut training with appeals to pity over the "freak playground accident" of her daughter. Kowalski, the mission commander, is a graduate of Upper New York Pickup College and has a self-published book available on Lulu.com, ''Bang Space: How To Pick Up Chicks In Low-Earth Orbit.''
   
== [[Wild Bill Hickok]] ==
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With no warning during the mission, [[Russia]] decides that space is overrated and creates a deadly debris field that will render space inaccessible for centuries and which flies on a newly invented "half the orbital period as low earth orbit" trajectory, pummeling everything in its way every 90 minutes. The remainder of the shuttle crew are killed, forcing Kowalski to switch his pickup strategy from Negging to White Knight as he gives her instructions on how to reach the international space station, how to use a wrench, and how to tie her shoes. '''([[Gravity (film)|more]]...)'''
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 11 July 2009
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>11 July 2009<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Wild Bill Hickok}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Wild Bill Hickok|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1247616000 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>15 July 2009</u>}}
 
 
=== 11 July 2009 ===
 
{{FeatArticleImg|Wildbill.jpg|100px}}
 
'''James Butler Hickok''' (May 27, 1837 - August 2, 1876), better known as '''[[Wild Bill Hickok]]''', was a figure of renown in the American Old West. He is remembered for his skills as a gunfighter, sharpshooter, marksman, and his excellent aim with a firearm. Hickok's exploits gained him such great fame that he earned the moniker of "Bill" despite that nickname having virtually no connection to his actual name. This nickname also inspired similar nicknames for other men named William.<ref>Though research has shown that the sizes of all of these subsequent men's genitals pale in comparison to Hickok's.</ref> Hickok's horse was called ''Black Nell'', and he owned two Colt 1851 Navy Revolvers, along with a rarely-used Colt 1855 Air Force Bazooka.
 
 
Hickok came to the West in the little-known Boron Rush of 1849. To help finance his Boron-seeking operation, he became a part-time stagecoach driver. He spent most of his time in the territories of [[Nebraska]] and [[Kansas]], progressing from stagecoach driver to stagecoach driver/lawman, and finally to lawman. He served in the [[Union]] army during the [[Battle of Gettysburg|American Civil War]], giving his allegiance to [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]] and his modest beard over [[Robert E. Lee|Jefferson Davis]]' pretty-boy hairstyle.<ref>Hair meant ''a lot'' to those living in the 1800s.</ref> He gained publicity after the war as a scout, marksman, skilled juggler, and professional gambler. Hickok was involved in countless Wild West shootouts, often shooting people off of roofs and using [[cactus|cactusses]] for cover, among other Wild West stereotypes. He was ultimately killed while playing poker in a [[North Dakota|Dakota Territory]] saloon. '''([[Wild Bill Hickok|more]]...)'''
 
 
== [[Fan service]] ==
 
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 12 July 2009
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>12 July 2009<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Fan service}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Fan service|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1247788800 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>17 July 2009</u>}}
 
 
=== 12 July 2009 ===
 
{{FeatArticleImg|Fan_girl_3.jpg|100px}}
 
A '''fan''' is a useful device for keeping oneself cool in hot weather. However, whether your fan is electric or one of the more traditional "folded pieces of paper," it will occasionally require service. Fortunately, there are service stations in most major cities.
 
 
Prior to [[World War 2]], fans were serviced primarily by overweight men with ill-fitting pants. However, when these men were drafted, the industry was taken over primarily by young women. Due to the suspicious number of fan serviceman deaths at the Battle of Iwo Jima, the industry has remained [[sexy|dominated]] by females to this day.
 
 
Fan servicewomen pride themselves on their competence, professionalism, and complete inability to find clothes that cover more than 40% of their skin.
 
 
Although fan service is a rewarding job, it also comes with certain challenges. In order to draw attention to the plight of these women, this article will focus largely on those challenges. '''([[Fan service|more]]...)'''
 
 
== [[UnNews:The God Interview]] ==
 
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 13 July 2009
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>13 July 2009<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|UnNews:The God Interview}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=UnNews:The God Interview|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1247788800 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>17 July 2009</u>}}
 
 
=== 13 July 2009 ===
 
{{FeatArticleImg|Godsuit.jpg|100px}}
 
''Worshipped by some, denied by others, UnNews brings you this exclusive interview with the one and only '''God'''. Where did we come from? Where did we go? Whatever happened to Cotton Eye Joe? What makes the Almighty Creator tick? We hope to find out these things and more in this unprecedented UnNews event.''
 
 
 
'''UnNews:''' What can I say, God, if I may call you so, it’s a pleasure to have you with us today. This is a real step up from last week’s guest, a morbidly obese kid that almost scored an on-air on [[American Idol]].
 
 
'''GOD:''' Well, I’m glad to be here. And “God” is fine. Tack on “Almighty Omnipotent” if you wish.
 
 
'''UnNews:''' Well, Almighty Omnipotent God, I must say you really look a lot like I imagined. The robe. The long white beard. The wise, stern countenance. It’s all there.
 
 
'''GOD:''' This physical presence you are now visualizing is no more than a projection of your image of Me. You better be making Me look good!
 
 
'''UnNews:''' Uh, oh yes, trust me; you’re looking hot, God. [[George Clooney]]’s got nothing on you. Look out ladies!
 
'''([[UnNews:The God Interview|more]]...)'''
 

Latest revision as of 20:54, August 18, 2014


edit Scam letter

  • Article feature date: 30 July 2014
  • Feature code: {{FA|date=30 July 2014|revision=5814407}} (Only add this after this page has saved)
  • Remove this section now.

edit 30 July 2014

Money

A special letter from your friend. Dear <insert name here>. Forgive my indignation if this mesage comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing through this channel.

I got this web page from the professional Journal when I was searching for a reliable foreigner who would assist me invest the fund which my husband left before her sudden death. After series of prayers/fasting, I was divinely directed to contact you among other names found in the Journal, I believe that God has a way of helping who is in a problem and nobody on earth was born without problem and every problem has a divine solution.

In a brief I am Mrs Jane Mupesa, wife to Ndoga Mupesa of Chiweshe ward in Muzarabani, Mashonaland Central province, who was allegedly killed in cold blood on 5th april 2001 in a ghastly plane crash on the Sagbama Express road by alleged Zanu PF militias and war veterans for supporting the (Mr Morgan Tsvangirai) Movement for Democratic Change, an opposition party to the tyranny Government of President Robert Mugabe.

Before my husband death as if he foresee what is going to happen to his life, he handed over to me all the documents of money he deposited with private security companies in Europe and Africa as personal effects in disguise ranging from $25.5 Million United States dollars. I have decided to leave my country due to threats on me and my family and seizure of all my husband property including my travelling documents by Mugabe government agents. (more...)

edit Hans Brinker

  • Article feature date: 6 August 2014
  • Feature code: {{FA|date=6 August 2014|revision=5815433}} (Only add this after this page has saved)
  • Remove this section now.

edit 06 August 2014

Potter Stewart

Hans Brinker is the most famous Dutchman ever. He is regarded as the national hero of the Netherlands, by far surpassing the fame of other heroes like Peer Gynt, Jan Peter Balkenende, and the kid on cans of "Dutch Boy" paint. Brinker's greatest heroic deed was when he stuck his finger in the dyke near Maastricht, thus preventing seawater from flooding the entire country and saving millions of Dutchmen from death by drowning. During this heroic feat, he had to resist angry American tourists who interpreted the act as a mere obscene gesture directed at them.

Brinker subsequently attempted more heroism on the political scene, using the pseudonym Elco Brinkman. Already a national hero, it was easy to get ministerial positions in Dutch cabinets. In his role as Brinkman, he was well-known for his hypnotic stare, which is a signature trait of Dutch heroes. In April 1997, Brinker was elected Pensions Minister of Bhutan, in a surprising write-in ballot on an unannounced election day while most Bhutanese were visiting their mothers. This made him only the third Dutchman to serve in the Bhutanese cabinet. As a result of this oversight, he retained his position for an entire month before the next ritual cabinet reshuffle. (more...)

edit A letter about Megan Fox

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Megan Fox

My dear parents, Good bye! I don't write letters very often. To be honest, I have never actually written a real paper letter in my life. So you must be asking yourself what has changed. First of all, you might have noticed that I left home.

Oh, I am sure you did, considering the fact that prior to this I said goodbye to all of you and you even responded. Dad said something like: "And buy some vegetables, won’t you?". I am sorry I didn't answer. I was determined to leave and these vegetables could have spoiled everything I had planned. As if Dad could not buy them himself. But when I finally crossed the threshold of a place which had been serving me as a home for many years, I felt like I have done something terribly wrong.

And so I had to buy the green peas and carrots and to leave them in front of the door, as well as this letter, which I really hope nobody stole and which I have finished writing on the stairs. Our neighbors wondered what I was doing and whether we had a problem with our electricity so that I had to do my homework outside of the apartment. I told them that this was the case. It was certainly a lie, but it was essential to my survival. You will soon understand why. (more...)

edit UnBooks Biography:The guy who invented soap

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Mud-2S

Paos, a prehistoric Clovis culture American warrior who lived large on the land and reigned over so many women that they could not be counted, invented soap - which is Paos spelled backwards. Men called him their friend, and went to hunt with him, and baked the bread as only a man chef can bake it. Paos The Great, his story we tell.

"Bend me into a pretzel, do it now Paos," said Bridgette'a, one of his uncounted women, and a few minutes later Paos listened to her moans and watched as she trembled, shook, and then screamed out "Now wash me, Paos. Wash me!"

Paos didn't know what she talking about. Wash her? What did that even mean? "Go to sleep Bridgette'a, now is not the time," Paos said, hoping that this would be enough to get him out of whatever he was in. But it wasn't.

"Wash me, Paos, please, wash me," Bridgette'a said as she slithered under him, rubbing something on his leg. It was some kind of stick. She wanted him to rub a stick all over her, to knock the dirt and rotting leaves off. "I've gotten into a hell of a jam here," Paos said to himself, using the Clovis culture's ancient word for hell - tlayōhuatizannō pive za. He took the stick from her mud covered hands and started to knock earth and vegetable matter from her limbs.

While running the rough bark over her ("You're washing me, Pao, you're washing me!") Paos noticed that some of the stuff had ants in it. Other lumps, those of clay and pebbles, were too solid to have any insect life. In those areas he had to use his fingers to extract embedded pieces of fruit. He had come here for the horseplay, got that over with, and now he was stuck in something very weird. He felt like one of those bronzed idiots down at the beach. (more...)

edit Gravity (film)

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Kerbal

Gravity is a 2013 science-fiction blockbuster starring Special Effects and Space Debris, with cameos from Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. It quickly became one of the top grossing movies in history, with a combined take of only $100 million less than timeless classics like Ice Age: Continental Drift and Fast & Furious 6.

In a world where global space agencies are run by incompetent nitwits and all objects lie in virtually the same orbit, NASA has taken the Space Shuttle out of retirement and is repairing the Hubble Space Telescope a second time. Generically named astronauts Ryan Stone (Bullock) and Matt Kowalski (Clooney) are joined on the mission by several other bit characters whose names neither the director nor the audience care about. Stone is a criminally incompetent PTSD case who cheated her way through astronaut training with appeals to pity over the "freak playground accident" of her daughter. Kowalski, the mission commander, is a graduate of Upper New York Pickup College and has a self-published book available on Lulu.com, Bang Space: How To Pick Up Chicks In Low-Earth Orbit.

With no warning during the mission, Russia decides that space is overrated and creates a deadly debris field that will render space inaccessible for centuries and which flies on a newly invented "half the orbital period as low earth orbit" trajectory, pummeling everything in its way every 90 minutes. The remainder of the shuttle crew are killed, forcing Kowalski to switch his pickup strategy from Negging to White Knight as he gives her instructions on how to reach the international space station, how to use a wrench, and how to tie her shoes. (more...)

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