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NOTE: EDITING THIS PAGE IS NOT HOW YOU FEATURE AN ARTICLE, N00B!
 
NOTE: EDITING THIS PAGE IS NOT HOW YOU FEATURE AN ARTICLE, N00B!
 
See [[Forum:Feature_queue]] and follow those steps.
 
See [[Forum:Feature_queue]] and follow those steps.
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== [[Richard M. Nixon]] ==
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* Article feature date: 3 January 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>3 January 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Richard M. Nixon}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1420588800 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>7 January 2015</u>}}
   
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=== 03 January 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Nixon-eats-pupu.jpg|150px|link=Richard M. Nixon}}
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'''[[Richard M. Nixon]]''' (January 9, 1913 – April 22, 1994) was an American home stereo-recording enthusiast, known bulk buyer of balaclavas, noted expert on Washington-area hotels, and the 37th President of the United States to be frequently referred to as a "Dick".
   
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Nixon rose to political prominence following his election as a Californian member for the House of Representatives, fully embracing all he'd learned from the state that gave the world Hollywood — namely the hubris, contempt for the law of the land, an aptitude for issuing the least sincere of apologies, and a pathological desire to force fuzzy little animals into any piece of media he released. With his expansion of American intervention in Vietnam, Nixon even provided a second exotic location full of loose women where a man could chase glory, blow all his hopes and dreams and wind up as a chronic alcoholic in downtown Los Angeles. '''([[Richard M. Nixon|more]]...)'''
   
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== [[North Korea at the 2012 Summer Olympics]] ==
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* Article feature date: 9 January 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>9 January 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|North Korea at the 2012 Summer Olympics}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1421127019 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>13 January 2015</u>}}
   
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=== 09 January 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|NorthKoreanAthlete.png|200px|link=North Korea at the 2012 Summer Olympics}}
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'''[[North Korea at the 2012 Summer Olympics|North Korea]]''' competed '''at the 2012 Summer Olympics''' hosted by [[London|Airstrip One]] with 51 athletes and secured 4 gold medals, 2 bronze medals and 45 international citizen athlete medals - the latter awarded posthumously. The North Korean team's motto was "Down with the unfair exploitation of athletes", changed since the unfortunate death of their motto manager at the 2010 World Cup.
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In the 2012 Olympics North Korea was remembered more for its campaign against the International Olympic Committee's exploitation of the workers than its performance at the games. This campaign met minimal success as the bourgeoisie seemed perfectly content to carry on broadcasting the Olympics despite comrade Kim-Jong Un's calls for pepsi to be drunk along with coca-cola at the Olympic games - preferably shaken, not stirred.
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As the countries paraded into the main Olympic stadium, the North Korean flag was held aloof by Pak Song-Chol until at about three hundred metres around the track when it was dipped as the procession passed the North Korean ambassador's box and the massed band played the national anthem, "Under the red flag, I'm trapped" composed of course by [[Yoda|Yoda-Ping-Yu]] and resembling the desperate struggle of a worker to relieve himself of a giant red flag that fell on him during a protest. The worker subsequently relieves himself and adds that yellow touch to the red North Korean flag. '''([[North Korea at the 2012 Summer Olympics|more]]...)'''
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== [[Nirvana]] ==
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* Article feature date: 13 January 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>13 January 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Nirvana}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1421452800 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>17 January 2015</u>}}
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=== 13 January 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Kurt.jpg|150px|link=Nirvana}}
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'''[[Nirvana]]''' was a 1990's band from a sea atoll who invented the ''grunge'' genre, or a state of ultimate bliss induced by an enormous amount of [[drugs]] in the [[Buddhism|Buddhist]] religion. The group was created when Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, and {{w|Aaron Burckhard|drummer}} after {{w|Dale Crover|drummer}} after {{w|Dave Foster|drummer}} got together to try to imitate the [[Beatles]], but with [[electricity]]. The endeavor skyrocketed to super-stardom as the friends put their hallucinogen-induced inspiration into [[music]]. Nirvana's success widely popularized [[alternative rock]], thus making the name of the music genre highly [[Pathological liar|inaccurate]]. They were also the precursor to [[punk rock]], skin rock, and [[rock paper scissors]].
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The band started in [[1987]] in Cobain's [[garage]] since his [[basement]] was under renovation. The group's habit of smashing their [[musical instruments|instruments]] against [[cats|anything lingering around]] after recording greatly displeased Cobain's [[father]] even though he worked as a [[car]] repairman. He soon threw Cobain out of the [[house]] at the mature age of [[twelve]], forcing him to wander aimlessly around the [[street]]s for a few years. While [[homeless]], Cobain met a toothless, [[drunk]]en [[hobo]] who offered him [[Singing|singing lessons]], a proposition he gladly accepted. These lessons had a huge impact on Cobain as he learned the valuable singing techniques of slurring one's [[vowels]] and [[screaming]] on-key, skills he would take advantage of on his later singles.
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The relatively unknown band soon signed to the equally unknown [[Seattle]] independent record label {{w|Sub Pop}}, located in [[Somebody|somebody else's]] garage. In [[1988]], they recorded their first album, ''[[Bleach]]'', a name Cobain thought of while washing his underwear. Nirvana recorded the album with a [[karaoke]] machine, producing [[music]] that sounded like it came from the other end of a [[telephone]] made of a cord and two empty [[cat]] [[food]] cans, an effect that the general public mistook for a new, unique [[sound]] ultimately dubbed ''grunge''. ''Bleach'' remains Sub Pop's best-selling (and only) release to date. The relatively cheap $600 it cost to record the alternative symphony soon ballooned after Cobain acquired the habit of throwing himself right in the middle of the drum set after each show. This was resolved to an extent when the band decided to use the more resistant [[elephant]] skin drums rather than [[human]] skin ones, as they were not [[PETA]] members.
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'''([[Nirvana|more]]...)'''
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== [[Lava lamp]] ==
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* Article feature date: 16 January 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>16 January 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Lava lamp}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1421712000 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>20 January 2015</u>}}
   
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=== 16 January 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Lava_lamp.jpg|150px|link=Lava lamp}}
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'''[[Lava lamp|Lava lamps]]''' are lamps specifically designed for use by certain hikers and campers.Veteran hikers seeking to conquer volcanoes that have recently erupted are faced with a problem: [[Lava]] is nothing if not [[black]]. This means that conventional lanterns and flashlights do a poor job of illuminating it. When hiking at [[night]], the outdoorsman can stub his toe and often even trip and fall.
   
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[[Britain|British]] [[Accounting|accountant]] Edward Craven Walker, from [[Dorset]], down near Brain's End, invented the lava lamp in 1963. He had been watching a homemade [[egg]] timer on a stove-top at the [[pub]]. He would later insist he was stone-cold sober, and his mates insist he went home alone that night.
   
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A mere two years later, Walker filed an application for a [[U.S.]] Patent for a harmless-sounding "Display Device." Patent 3,387,396 was issued in 1968, and we were "off to the races," as they say. Within a year, entire city blocks across [[America]] burned to the ground in race riots.
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Unlike conventional lighting sources, the lava lamp contains clear or translucent liquid ([[water]] will do fine) and blobs of colored ("coloured" according to the Patent documents) wax to provide superior illumination on the mountainside.Walker faced the daunting problem that wax would normally not cycle through the water but remain on top of it. He solved this problem by adding carbon tetrachloride to the wax.
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'''([[Lava lamp|more]]...)'''
   
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== [[Sex scene]] ==
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* Article feature date: 18 January 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>18 January 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Sex scene}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1421969857 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>22 January 2015</u>}}
   
== [[Faggot]] ==
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=== 18 January 2015 ===
<!-- <section begin=title06102008 />[[Faggot]]<section end=title06102008 /> -->
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{{FeatArticleImg|sexscene1.jpg|140px|link=Sex scene}}
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'''[[Sex scene|Sex scenes]]''' in films is what it is all about really. Forget the rest of the movie, the special effects, fancy dialogue and the locations, what people really want to watch is vigorous, on-screen humping. Even in war movies or animation have subliminal sex splattered all over them. And I won't even bother talking about men stroking their guns in 'Thin Red Line' or super heroes running around in multi-coloured caps and condoms.
* Article feature date: 6 October 2008
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>6 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Faggot}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Faggot|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1223596800 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>10 October 2008</u>}}
 
   
=== 6 October 2008 ===
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What we all want to know is 'are they really doing it?'. A sex scene can be found in a [[movie]], [[book]] or [[television|television show]]. It may include explicit sex (as in [[pornography]]) or it may only be suggestive of "real" [[sex]], however; as a rule, it is better sex than you have ever had - or ever likely to have. If you have had better sex than that which is depicted in the scene, it is most likely not a real sex scene - it is probably just something weird you get off on.
{{FeatArticleImg|Bassoons.jpg|100px}}
 
A '''[[faggot]]''' is a woodwind instrument in the double reed [[family]], used to play [[music]] written in the [[bass]] and tenor registers and occasionally even higher, apart from when they have those really annoying squeaky put-on voices sometimes that just put my [[teeth]] on edge.
 
   
I'm as [[liberal]] as the next person, but it just doesn't seem [[natural]] to choose to be a faggot player. Because it ''is'' a choice, and don't let them tell you any different - they could have picked up any instrument in that music shop, but what did they choose? Not a [[drum]] kit or something manly like a [[trumpet]], that's for sure.
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Sex scenes are often used to get underage minors to watch movies with an "R" rating. Often, the two (or more) people in a sex scene don't like each other, but are just doing it because they are paid to moan and wriggle when a fat slob in a director's chair tells them to. And if it is a real pornographic film, that ugly bloke you always see? - yes that's the producer getting his money shots..but that is more ''sex obscene''.
   
Due to the complicated [[finger]]ing and the problem of reeds, the faggot is one of the more difficult instruments to learn; schoolchildren typically take up the faggot only after starting on another easier instrument. Which means they're perfectly [[happy]] when they're kids, and then suddenly they get lured off into ''that'' life. I mean what more proof do you need? '''([[Faggot|more]]...)'''
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Film makers are not dumb. They know sex scenes in movies increase profits by up to 7 billion percent but really, when was the last you had sex and said: ''"Wow! This is just like the movies..."''
   
== [[Gerry Cheevers]] ==
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Yeah, thought so.'''([[Sex scene|more]]...)'''
<!-- <section begin=title07102008 />[[Gerry Cheevers]]<section end=title07102008 /> -->
 
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 7 October 2008
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>7 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Gerry Cheevers}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Gerry Cheevers|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1223683200 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>11 October 2008</u>}}
 
   
=== 7 October 2008 ===
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== [[Power]] ==
{{FeatArticleImg|GerryCheevers.gif|100px}}
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* Article feature date: 22 January 2015
'''[[Gerry Cheevers|Gerry "Buzzsaw" "Hacksaw" "Chainsaw" "Deathtoll" "Manslayer" "Axemaniac" Cheevers]]''' was a demi-god who, appearing in the form of a [[hockey]] goaltender, backstopped the Boston Bruins to Stanley Cup victories in 1970 and 1972. Emerging from the mythical and legendary [[Canada]] under suspicious circumstances, he still holds several [[NHL]] records, most of them involving violence of some kind. Known for his beer-drinking abilities and his unusual choice of headgear, Gerry Cheevers is one guy you don't want to fuck around with. '''([[Gerry Cheevers|more]]...)'''
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>22 January 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Power}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1422230400 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>26 January 2015</u>}}
   
== [[France]] ==
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=== 22 January 2015 ===
<!-- <section begin=title08102008 />[[France]]<section end=title08102008 /> -->
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{{FeatArticleImg|Creation_of_the_Sun_and_Moon_face_detail.jpg|140px|link=Power}}
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
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'''[[Power]]''' . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about '''power'''?
* Article feature date: 8 October 2008
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Not much! That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about '''power''' which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have '''power''' right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>8 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|France}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=France|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1223769600 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>12 October 2008</u>}}
 
   
=== 8 October 2008 ===
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I could have power? Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has '''power'''. I have '''power''' and as a result I feel a [[Love|certain kinship]] towards others with '''power'''.
{{FeatArticleImg|NightMime.png|100px}}
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''I'd love to hear more about power!'' Of course you would!
The [[France|'''French''']] are [[Famous|famed]] for their [[Food|culinary skills]] which consists of [[Shagging|"''baking bread''"]] and [[Hot Chick|"''producing hot buns and tarts''"]]. There is also the widely adopted pastime of [[drinking]] excess [[coffee]] so as to be able to [[Shag|stay up]] late into the [[night]]; indeed France is a [[nation]] of "''midnight alley cats''".
 
   
The [[French]] have also have a great claim to [[fame]] by having [[Social Commentary|overpowering unions]], which have led to slow industry and the country being in [[Economics|perpetual recession]] and ruled by [[Krypton|crypto]][[fascist|-fascist]] [[Goverment|governments]] since France's defeat in the [[World War 2|Second World War]]. '''([[France|more]]...)'''
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'''Power''' is as old as [[Human Race|the human race]] itself, the earliest humans had a great deal of '''power'''. It is often said that almost every single male human had '''power''', wild ungovernable '''power'''! As humans spread across the globe their '''power''' began to diminish.''Why?''
   
== [[Rule of Three]] ==
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The machinations of fate! Many lost touch with that, which they should have held dear, they believed that they could cope without '''power''', some even argued that a lack of '''power''' was better. However, in Ancient Egypt the Pharaohs recognised '''power''' and sought to limit those amongst their populace who could possess it, while simultaneously seeking to contain and control their own '''power''' lest it be used for evil. It is widely accepted, by everyone who matters, that the Pharaoh's of [[Ancient Egypt]] wielded '''power''' more gracefully than any other civilisation to date, however this was not to last. Amenemhat III, the last ruler of the middle kingdom of Egypt scoffed at the idea of '''power''' and, despite the pleas of his closest advisers, many of whom tried to show him the advantages of having '''power''', he attempted to rule without it.
<!-- <section begin=title09102008 />[[Rule of Three]]<section end=title09102008 /> -->
 
{{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|*''This article is now queued for featured on the following date. Now copy the feature code below and place it on the article, and then featuring is complete.''|*''This is a preview. Everything in the "day month year" section is what will appear on the main page. Please check the dates below are correct. If you see any major errors, make sure the article parameter is filled in correctly''.}}
 
* Article feature date: 9 October 2008
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>9 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Rule of Three}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Rule of Three|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1223856000 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>13 October 2008</u>}}
 
   
=== 9 October 2008 ===
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It came as no surprise to anybody when the fields flooded, the harvest failed, the economy collapsed and the bedrock of Egyptian society crumbled. All because of '''power'''.
{{FeatArticleImg|Mm3.png|100px}}
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The [[Ancient Greece|Ancient Greeks]] sought to reclaim '''power''' for the masses by insisting that everybody have '''power''' and their society flourished as a result. [[Hippocrates]] wielded great '''power''', [[Aristotle]] arguably wielded even more and [[Socrates]] probably wielded the most. You stood out a mile in Ancient Greece without '''power''', not to mention the fact you looked ridiculous. '''([[Power|more]]...)'''
The '''[[Rule of Three]]''' is a principle in [[English]] writing that suggests a list of three things is inherently funnier, more effective or more [[orgasm|sexually satisfying]] than a list of any other number of things. Often to obtain maximum [[humour]], the third thing in the list breaks the pattern set up by the other two. It is an important [[comedy]] writing technique often used in [[television]] shows, stand-up comedy routines and [[erotic]] novels. The technique can be combined with any other comedy technique including [[redundancy]], [[random humour]] and [[redundancy]]. It should not be overused, however, as the joke will fast become [[Uncyclopedia:In-jokes|stale]], [[Oprah Winfrey|stagnant]] and [[Chuck_Norris/Facts|hilarious]]. '''([[Rule of Three|more]]...)'''
 

Latest revision as of 13:10, January 24, 2015


edit Richard M. Nixon

  • Article feature date: 3 January 2015
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  • Remove this section now.

edit 03 January 2015

Nixon-eats-pupu

Richard M. Nixon (January 9, 1913 – April 22, 1994) was an American home stereo-recording enthusiast, known bulk buyer of balaclavas, noted expert on Washington-area hotels, and the 37th President of the United States to be frequently referred to as a "Dick".

Nixon rose to political prominence following his election as a Californian member for the House of Representatives, fully embracing all he'd learned from the state that gave the world Hollywood — namely the hubris, contempt for the law of the land, an aptitude for issuing the least sincere of apologies, and a pathological desire to force fuzzy little animals into any piece of media he released. With his expansion of American intervention in Vietnam, Nixon even provided a second exotic location full of loose women where a man could chase glory, blow all his hopes and dreams and wind up as a chronic alcoholic in downtown Los Angeles. (more...)

edit North Korea at the 2012 Summer Olympics

  • Article feature date: 9 January 2015
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edit 09 January 2015

NorthKoreanAthlete

North Korea competed at the 2012 Summer Olympics hosted by Airstrip One with 51 athletes and secured 4 gold medals, 2 bronze medals and 45 international citizen athlete medals - the latter awarded posthumously. The North Korean team's motto was "Down with the unfair exploitation of athletes", changed since the unfortunate death of their motto manager at the 2010 World Cup.

In the 2012 Olympics North Korea was remembered more for its campaign against the International Olympic Committee's exploitation of the workers than its performance at the games. This campaign met minimal success as the bourgeoisie seemed perfectly content to carry on broadcasting the Olympics despite comrade Kim-Jong Un's calls for pepsi to be drunk along with coca-cola at the Olympic games - preferably shaken, not stirred. As the countries paraded into the main Olympic stadium, the North Korean flag was held aloof by Pak Song-Chol until at about three hundred metres around the track when it was dipped as the procession passed the North Korean ambassador's box and the massed band played the national anthem, "Under the red flag, I'm trapped" composed of course by Yoda-Ping-Yu and resembling the desperate struggle of a worker to relieve himself of a giant red flag that fell on him during a protest. The worker subsequently relieves himself and adds that yellow touch to the red North Korean flag. (more...)

edit Nirvana

  • Article feature date: 13 January 2015
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edit 13 January 2015

Kurt

Nirvana was a 1990's band from a sea atoll who invented the grunge genre, or a state of ultimate bliss induced by an enormous amount of drugs in the Buddhist religion. The group was created when Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, and drummer after drummer after drummer got together to try to imitate the Beatles, but with electricity. The endeavor skyrocketed to super-stardom as the friends put their hallucinogen-induced inspiration into music. Nirvana's success widely popularized alternative rock, thus making the name of the music genre highly inaccurate. They were also the precursor to punk rock, skin rock, and rock paper scissors.

The band started in 1987 in Cobain's garage since his basement was under renovation. The group's habit of smashing their instruments against anything lingering around after recording greatly displeased Cobain's father even though he worked as a car repairman. He soon threw Cobain out of the house at the mature age of twelve, forcing him to wander aimlessly around the streets for a few years. While homeless, Cobain met a toothless, drunken hobo who offered him singing lessons, a proposition he gladly accepted. These lessons had a huge impact on Cobain as he learned the valuable singing techniques of slurring one's vowels and screaming on-key, skills he would take advantage of on his later singles.

The relatively unknown band soon signed to the equally unknown Seattle independent record label Sub Pop, located in somebody else's garage. In 1988, they recorded their first album, Bleach, a name Cobain thought of while washing his underwear. Nirvana recorded the album with a karaoke machine, producing music that sounded like it came from the other end of a telephone made of a cord and two empty cat food cans, an effect that the general public mistook for a new, unique sound ultimately dubbed grunge. Bleach remains Sub Pop's best-selling (and only) release to date. The relatively cheap $600 it cost to record the alternative symphony soon ballooned after Cobain acquired the habit of throwing himself right in the middle of the drum set after each show. This was resolved to an extent when the band decided to use the more resistant elephant skin drums rather than human skin ones, as they were not PETA members. (more...)

edit Lava lamp

  • Article feature date: 16 January 2015
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  • Remove this section now.

edit 16 January 2015

Lava lamp

Lava lamps are lamps specifically designed for use by certain hikers and campers.Veteran hikers seeking to conquer volcanoes that have recently erupted are faced with a problem: Lava is nothing if not black. This means that conventional lanterns and flashlights do a poor job of illuminating it. When hiking at night, the outdoorsman can stub his toe and often even trip and fall.

British accountant Edward Craven Walker, from Dorset, down near Brain's End, invented the lava lamp in 1963. He had been watching a homemade egg timer on a stove-top at the pub. He would later insist he was stone-cold sober, and his mates insist he went home alone that night.

A mere two years later, Walker filed an application for a U.S. Patent for a harmless-sounding "Display Device." Patent 3,387,396 was issued in 1968, and we were "off to the races," as they say. Within a year, entire city blocks across America burned to the ground in race riots. Unlike conventional lighting sources, the lava lamp contains clear or translucent liquid (water will do fine) and blobs of colored ("coloured" according to the Patent documents) wax to provide superior illumination on the mountainside.Walker faced the daunting problem that wax would normally not cycle through the water but remain on top of it. He solved this problem by adding carbon tetrachloride to the wax. (more...)

edit Sex scene

  • Article feature date: 18 January 2015
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edit 18 January 2015

Sexscene1

Sex scenes in films is what it is all about really. Forget the rest of the movie, the special effects, fancy dialogue and the locations, what people really want to watch is vigorous, on-screen humping. Even in war movies or animation have subliminal sex splattered all over them. And I won't even bother talking about men stroking their guns in 'Thin Red Line' or super heroes running around in multi-coloured caps and condoms.

What we all want to know is 'are they really doing it?'. A sex scene can be found in a movie, book or television show. It may include explicit sex (as in pornography) or it may only be suggestive of "real" sex, however; as a rule, it is better sex than you have ever had - or ever likely to have. If you have had better sex than that which is depicted in the scene, it is most likely not a real sex scene - it is probably just something weird you get off on.

Sex scenes are often used to get underage minors to watch movies with an "R" rating. Often, the two (or more) people in a sex scene don't like each other, but are just doing it because they are paid to moan and wriggle when a fat slob in a director's chair tells them to. And if it is a real pornographic film, that ugly bloke you always see? - yes that's the producer getting his money shots..but that is more sex obscene.

Film makers are not dumb. They know sex scenes in movies increase profits by up to 7 billion percent but really, when was the last you had sex and said: "Wow! This is just like the movies..."

Yeah, thought so.(more...)

edit Power

  • Article feature date: 22 January 2015
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edit 22 January 2015

Creation of the Sun and Moon face detail

Power . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about power? Not much! That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about power which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have power right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.

I could have power? Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has power. I have power and as a result I feel a certain kinship towards others with power. I'd love to hear more about power! Of course you would!

Power is as old as the human race itself, the earliest humans had a great deal of power. It is often said that almost every single male human had power, wild ungovernable power! As humans spread across the globe their power began to diminish.Why?

The machinations of fate! Many lost touch with that, which they should have held dear, they believed that they could cope without power, some even argued that a lack of power was better. However, in Ancient Egypt the Pharaohs recognised power and sought to limit those amongst their populace who could possess it, while simultaneously seeking to contain and control their own power lest it be used for evil. It is widely accepted, by everyone who matters, that the Pharaoh's of Ancient Egypt wielded power more gracefully than any other civilisation to date, however this was not to last. Amenemhat III, the last ruler of the middle kingdom of Egypt scoffed at the idea of power and, despite the pleas of his closest advisers, many of whom tried to show him the advantages of having power, he attempted to rule without it.

It came as no surprise to anybody when the fields flooded, the harvest failed, the economy collapsed and the bedrock of Egyptian society crumbled. All because of power. The Ancient Greeks sought to reclaim power for the masses by insisting that everybody have power and their society flourished as a result. Hippocrates wielded great power, Aristotle arguably wielded even more and Socrates probably wielded the most. You stood out a mile in Ancient Greece without power, not to mention the fact you looked ridiculous. (more...)

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