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NOTE: EDITING THIS PAGE IS NOT HOW YOU FEATURE AN ARTICLE, N00B!
 
NOTE: EDITING THIS PAGE IS NOT HOW YOU FEATURE AN ARTICLE, N00B!
 
See [[Forum:Feature_queue]] and follow those steps.
 
See [[Forum:Feature_queue]] and follow those steps.
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== [[Slut shaming]] ==
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* Article feature date: 2 April 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>2 April 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Slut shaming}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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=== 02 April 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|protest_against_slut-shaming.jpg|140px|link=Slut shaming}}
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'''[[Slut shaming]]''' is the basis of modern society — the pillar on which decent people plop their weight — the great turtle on which morality stands in order to reach the top shelf. But it is equally important as an amusement, the amount of which is limited only by the number of:
   
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#Definitions of the term "slut,"
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#Available shaming techniques, and
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#Participants on hand.
   
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The term "slut" signifies a woman whose fortress is not well-guarded. The concept is relative, not only because the figurative winners write the history of war, but because the proverbial [[penis|pen is]] mightier than the sword. Thus, every human being unfortunate enough to be born female is a potential slut, and many live up to their potential.
   
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[[Sigmund Freud]] stated that sexual desire motivates human actions. Nevertheless, slut shaming is not always sexual. The alleged slut can be a teenager who bares a fraction of her body (any fraction) for a fraction of a second in front of a fraction of a camera; or equally likely an elderly Cambridge lady, researching into the role of slut shaming.
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So it is not that a woman defends her fortress but that she burrows under the fortress of social control — such as when she criticises slut shaming itself. A key defense that society uses is the "slut factor," as a woman is not only a slut when she acts sluttily, but especially when she resists acting sluttily. To further show the term's marvelous adaptability, a woman acting maximally slutty is never called a "slut" by her co-actor, at least for the entire time they are in bed together. '''([[Slut shaming|more]]...)'''
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== [[Turtle]] ==
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* Article feature date: 7 April 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>7 April 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Turtle}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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=== 07 April 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Logger_eggs_01.jpg|150px|link=Turtle}}
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'''[[Turtle]]''' are [[lizard]]s in the half-shell. A turtle can retreat inside the shell for warmth, safety, and to [[Television|catch the soaps]]. Subspecies of turtle include common turtles, snapping turtles, sea turtles, and [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]].
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Turtles are one of [[Earth]]'s oldest species, essentially fossils without the unpleasant chore of dying. Their shells kept them from being overhunted into [[extinction]] by [[Dinosaur|dinosaurs]], and even today, keep them from being mistaken for [[porcupine]]s. The shell is the reason why some tortoises are over 65 million years of age.
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The word ''turtle'' is derived from the [[Old English]] word ''turdyl'', meaning "little [[turd]]". This is because the people of the [[Middle Ages]] believed turtles actually originated from sewage dumped into the [[Thames]]; [[feces]] floated on top of the water, where [[Medieval science|Medieval scientists]] thought the upper part dried out and hardened into a crust from exposure to the atmosphere, then through the miracle of spontaneous generation, a head and limbs would pop out the sides.
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It was not until the early 1700s that biologists first reclassified turtles as a type of [[Frog|amphibian]], bringing them one step closer to their modern classification as lizards in 1985. However, the name stuck, albeit with updated spelling.
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Turtles first [[Evolution|evolved]] when a cowardly lizard took refuge underneath a [[rock]], and carried it around on its back. However, the rock was heavy, which made the lizard's movements slow. Future generations took to instead eating rocks and growing a mineralized shell; this new, lighter shell might have enabled faster movement had the turtles not also gotten fatter to fit inside their new mobile homes. '''([[Turtle|more]]...)'''
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== [[Glory hole]] ==
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* Article feature date: 11 April 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>11 April 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Glory hole}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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=== 11 April 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Glory_Hole.jpg|160px|link=Glory hole}}
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'''[[Glory hole|A glory hole]]''' is a type of architectural adornment that first became fashionable in the Italian [[Renaissance]] period. Glory holes in this time were often covered in [[gold]] leaf, and had either bas-relief or, in sculptor Gian Lorenzo Bernini's case, sculptural details that came out of the frame too much to be considered as such, and were generally imagery from both Biblical creatures and Classical creatures, most notably angels and cherubs, for it was convention that the creatures be able to fly because of the large scale on which these glory holes were often constructed.
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But the form of the glory hole has changed a lot over the years. As a seminal piece of the YBA movement that pervaded during 1992, artist [[Tracey Emin]] installed ''Glory Hole'' at the Tate Modern in London: two walls of a toilet cubicle, one of which with a small hole in around the middle of the door with a few strips of duct tape so that, as Emin put it, "the viewer [could] more comfortably slide his/her eyes in and out through the hole." This changed the public's perception of the glory hole dramatically.
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In the Italian Renaissance, glory holes served two purposes for the rich clergymen who were the usual clientele for the architects and sculptors who built them: (1) as a statement of how [[well-endowed]] the people who commissioned and displayed them were when entertaining guests, and (2) so that owners could perform various parts of their daily routines, often accompanied by their wives, such as praying, for these tremendous objects usually portrayed religious iconography, and were seen as a way of getting closer to God.
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On the left here is one of many glory holes in St. Peter's Cathedral, [[Rome]]/[[Vatican City]]. Although traditionally used by popes after Pope Paul Borghese V, the founder of St. Peter's, this one is now used mainly for display purposes, though is still used for some ceremonies and special occasions. '''([[Glory hole|more]]...)'''
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== [[Horace]] ==
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* Article feature date: 16 April 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>16 April 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Horace}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1429488000 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>20 April 2015</u>}}
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=== 16 April 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Quintus_Horatius_Flaccus.jpg|140px|link=Horace}}
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'''[[Horace|Quintus Horatius Flaccus]]''' (65 BC – 8 BC) was a prominent [[Roman]] [[poet]]. He is known in the [[English]]-speaking world as '''Horace''' (/ˈhɔrɪsˌ/). In the [[Latin]]-speaking world, he is not known as anything, because Latin is dead, and so is Horace. In the dodgier neighborhoods of [[Rome]] in those days, he was known as '''Flaccid Quint'''.
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It being over 2,020 years since those days, it is surprising that he is known as anything at all, but the reason is that the most frequent subject of the poetry of Horace was Horace.
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Horace was an officer in the [[Republican]] [[Army]] at the time it [[bomb]]ed at Philippi, which was around the time that Rome bombed at being a republic. When [[Octavian]] (or [[Augustus]]) became [[emperor]], Horace stuck around as an official spokesperson. His poetry did a historic balancing act between toeing the party line and being of interest to normal people.
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R. Barrow writes that Horace "tells us far more about himself than any other great poet in antiquity," R. Barrow evidently being one of the few who finds this interesting. By comparison, Rock And Roll Fred tells this writer far more about himself than does anyone else at the bar, and it is not.
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Anyway. Horace was born on 8 December 65 BC — no one seems to know what day of the week that was — in [[Venus]]ia in southern [[Italy]]. His home was on a trade route between Apulia and Bucania, and his appreciation of language may have been enhanced by those using that route, assuming that truckstops were not much different then from now. His mother must often have washed his mouth out with soap (in Latin, ''lava''). It is possible that soldiers were relocated to his region from Rome for their role in the [[Socialism|Social War]], which proved that they "do not get along with others," and this could have been a source of even more crude language. His father was at one time a [[slave]] but gained his freedom and became an auctioneer, yet another basis of Horace's off-color writings. Horace has some very nice things to say about his father, but nothing at all to say about his mother. Mothers often complain that "You never write me."
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Horace's mother invites our speculation, except that this entire section has been guesswork. Nevertheless, spending decades doing the same supports large departments at many modern [[University|universities]]. '''([[Horace|more]]...)'''
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== [[Cruel and unusual punishment]] ==
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* Article feature date: 23 April 2015
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>23 April 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Cruel and unusual punishment}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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=== 23 April 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Kirk.JPG|130px|link=Cruel and unusual punishment}}
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'''[[Cruel and unusual punishment]]''' is a [[platitude]] found in the '''Eighth Amendment''' to the [[U.S. Constitution]]. The Amendment, like the rest of the [[Bill of Rights]], was written to ensure that the new American nation would not suffer from the excesses of the former [[England|English]] overlords, such as drawing-and-quartering, death by [[torture]] (no matter how entertaining it was to contemplate it being done to [[Mel Gibson]] in ''[[Braveheart]]''), or repeats of [[Mr. Bean]].
   
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That the [[Thomas Jefferson|Founding Founders]] in the execution-happy colonies would have written an amendment to ban executions entirely is so unthinkable that it has taken the finest minds in the [[United States]] to explain why it means exactly this.
   
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Most uses of the Eighth Amendment in the U.S. court system therefore concern executions, the exception being the rare lawsuit to demand premium cable channels on prison [[television]]s.
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In fact, no prisoner has ever been drawn-and-quartered or tortured in the United States at all. And [[slavery]], the Alternative Minimum Tax, and Instant Replay in [[Major League Baseball]] are technically not even "punishments."
   
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The [[Supreme Court]], then, has had the task of understanding what the Founders could have meant by writing an Amendment that, on the surface, seems meaningless. In the American ''renaissance'' called the [[Great Society]], it first occurred to the Court that the death penalty itself could be "cruel and unusual punishment."
   
== [[Faggot]] ==
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As in most things, the Court advanced this "jurisprudence" gradually, first saving from execution only:
<!-- <section begin=title06102008 />[[Faggot]]<section end=title06102008 /> -->
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*The insane, who obviously did not know what they were doing
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*Premeditated murders, because the nation needs their expertise and attention to detail in National Economic Planning
* Article feature date: 6 October 2008
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*Child killers, because we need to give them a chance to grow up
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>6 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Faggot}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Faggot|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
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*Spouse killers, because we need to give them a chance to grow old
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*Elderly killers, because sometimes writing kids out of the will just doesn't work
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*[[African Americans]], because we don't execute a fair share of [[white folks]] and we wouldn't want blacks to take this the wrong way
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*Authors of [[gun]] massacres, because this is the fault of gun shows, [[SUV]]s, and [[Wild West|rodeo]]s.
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'''([[Cruel and unusual punishment|more]]...)'''
   
=== 6 October 2008 ===
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== [[I'm not a racist, but...]] ==
{{FeatArticleImg|Bassoons.jpg|100px}}
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* Article feature date: 28 April 2015
A '''[[faggot]]''' is a woodwind instrument in the double reed [[family]], used to play [[music]] written in the [[bass]] and tenor registers and occasionally even higher, apart from when they have those really annoying squeaky put-on voices sometimes that just put my [[teeth]] on edge.
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>28 April 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|I'm not a racist, but...}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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I'm as [[liberal]] as the next person, but it just doesn't seem [[natural]] to choose to be a faggot player. Because it ''is'' a choice, and don't let them tell you any different - they could have picked up any instrument in that music shop, but what did they choose? Not a [[drum]] kit or something manly like a [[trumpet]], that's for sure.
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=== 28 April 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Gingrich.jpg|150px|link=I'm not a racist, but...}}
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'''[[I'm not a racist, but...]]''' has long been considered one of the most powerful [[cliché]]s in the [[English]] language. It has the power to define people, [[culture|cultures]], and determine some of the most powerful [[philosophy|philosophies]] that the world has ever seen.
   
Due to the complicated [[finger]]ing and the problem of reeds, the faggot is one of the more difficult instruments to learn; schoolchildren typically take up the faggot only after starting on another easier instrument. Which means they're perfectly [[happy]] when they're kids, and then suddenly they get lured off into ''that'' life. I mean what more proof do you need? '''([[Faggot|more]]...)'''
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It is generally used in an argumentative situation, to make a point that could potentially be otherwise taken in a negative concept. Similar examples are ''"I'm not a sexist, but I don't feel women deserve equal pay when they are only truly useful 26 out of 29 days."'' The statement is often a precursor to ''"[[WP:petitio principi|petitio principi]]"'' (Latin for ''"It is because I said so"'').
   
== [[Gerry Cheevers]] ==
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In modern society there is an aversion to making a statement that may be considered as politically incorrect. This disarming preface has become a cliche due to it's usefulness in stating what may be unpleasant or not politically correct. This statement is referred to by linguists as a ''"but-head"'' statement.
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* Article feature date: 7 October 2008
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>7 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Gerry Cheevers}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Gerry Cheevers|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
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=== 7 October 2008 ===
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To truly understand the strength of this statement the individual words must be taken into consideration:
{{FeatArticleImg|GerryCheevers.gif|100px}}
 
'''[[Gerry Cheevers|Gerry "Buzzsaw" "Hacksaw" "Chainsaw" "Deathtoll" "Manslayer" "Axemaniac" Cheevers]]''' was a demi-god who, appearing in the form of a [[hockey]] goaltender, backstopped the Boston Bruins to Stanley Cup victories in 1970 and 1972. Emerging from the mythical and legendary [[Canada]] under suspicious circumstances, he still holds several [[NHL]] records, most of them involving violence of some kind. Known for his beer-drinking abilities and his unusual choice of headgear, Gerry Cheevers is one guy you don't want to fuck around with. '''([[Gerry Cheevers|more]]...)'''
 
   
== [[France]] ==
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*''"I'm"'' or ''"I am"'' is the first part of the phrase. It defines the speaker as an individual. Often used in [[philosophy]] to show the existence of things. [[Descartes]] said ''"I think, therefore I am"''. Here Descartes both defines himself as a thinking individual, and as an individual. In the phrase in question though the speaker defines themselves as a non-thinking individual, and therefore negates his own existence even as he asserts it.
<!-- <section begin=title08102008 />[[France]]<section end=title08102008 /> -->
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*''"Not"'' immediately after the definition of self and the subsequent denial of existence, the speaker uses a negative. In [[algebra|Boolean Algebra]], and all mathematical [[logic]], the term ''"not"'' immediately reverses the meaning of everything going into it. So by defining themselves as a thinking/non-thinking existent/non-existant individual, they immediately negate it in total, and thereby make themselves into a non-individual. This can be viewed similarly to a member of a mob, who becomes no longer an individual within their own right, but simply a part of a greater whole. And in much the same way as a mob's intelligence as a whole is that of its least intelligent member, the speaker again shows the lowest possible calculation of [[intelligence]]. '''([[I'm not a racist, but...|more]]...)'''
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* Article feature date: 8 October 2008
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>8 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|France}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=France|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
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=== 8 October 2008 ===
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== [[Project Gemini]] ==
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* Article feature date: 3 May 2015
The [[France|'''French''']] are [[Famous|famed]] for their [[Food|culinary skills]] which consists of [[Shagging|"''baking bread''"]] and [[Hot Chick|"''producing hot buns and tarts''"]]. There is also the widely adopted pastime of [[drinking]] excess [[coffee]] so as to be able to [[Shag|stay up]] late into the [[night]]; indeed France is a [[nation]] of "''midnight alley cats''".
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* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>3 May 2015<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Project Gemini}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> (Only add this '''after''' this page has saved)
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*{{#ifexpr:{{#time: U }} > 1430956800 |* <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:125%">Remove this section now.</span>|*This section can safely be removed on <u>7 May 2015</u>}}
   
The [[French]] have also have a great claim to [[fame]] by having [[Social Commentary|overpowering unions]], which have led to slow industry and the country being in [[Economics|perpetual recession]] and ruled by [[Krypton|crypto]][[fascist|-fascist]] [[Goverment|governments]] since France's defeat in the [[World War 2|Second World War]]. '''([[France|more]]...)'''
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=== 03 May 2015 ===
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{{FeatArticleImg|Gemini patch.JPG|170px|link=Project Gemini}}
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'''[[Project Gemini]]''' was [[NASA]]’s second space program, between the Mercury and Apollo missions. With the [[Apollo Project|Apollo]] program behind schedule, NASA needed something to do between 1961 and 1966, after which everyone would be watching the soccer [[World Cup]]. The Gemini spacecraft carried two [[Astronaut|astronauts]] to different parts of the solar system and one crew into an alternative [[universe]]. The program put the [[United States]] ahead of the [[Soviet Union]] in the [[Cold War]] Space Race.
   
== [[Rule of Three]] ==
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Gemini’s mission was to iron out various space-travel and personnel issues, in preparation for the goal set by [[John F. Kennedy|President Kennedy]] to land people on the moon and return them safely to [[Earth]]. Project Gemini managed to complete the first part of that goal, just leaving [[Apollo]] to figure out how to return the astronauts safely to Earth. Other minor objectives were medical experiments, navigation, rendezvous, explosive yield, docking, EVA and orbital maneuvering techniques.
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* Article feature date: 9 October 2008
 
* Feature code: <code><nowiki>{{FA|date=</nowiki>9 October 2008<nowiki>|revision=</nowiki>{{lastrevision|Rule of Three}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki></code> {{#if:{{REVISIONID}}|{{#dpl:title=Rule of Three|uses=Template:FA|mode=userformat|resultsheader=<span style="color: green; font-weight: bold">✔ FA has been added.</span>|noresultsheader=<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Featuring is not complete until the feature code is added to the article.</span>}}|<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold; font-size:105%">Don't add this to the article until this section has been saved.</span>}}
 
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=== 9 October 2008 ===
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The Gemini capsule was launched on top of a Titan II inter-continental ballistic missile, the first to be fired from Cape Canaveral. The first four manned launches expanded the envelope from sub orbital ICBM to orbital spacecraft. Project Gemini was also the first to use mission control in [[Houston]]. '''([[Project Gemini|more]]...)'''
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The '''[[Rule of Three]]''' is a principle in [[English]] writing that suggests a list of three things is inherently funnier, more effective or more [[orgasm|sexually satisfying]] than a list of any other number of things. Often to obtain maximum [[humour]], the third thing in the list breaks the pattern set up by the other two. It is an important [[comedy]] writing technique often used in [[television]] shows, stand-up comedy routines and [[erotic]] novels. The technique can be combined with any other comedy technique including [[redundancy]], [[random humour]] and [[redundancy]]. It should not be overused, however, as the joke will fast become [[Uncyclopedia:In-jokes|stale]], [[Oprah Winfrey|stagnant]] and [[Chuck_Norris/Facts|hilarious]]. '''([[Rule of Three|more]]...)'''
 

Latest revision as of 22:32, May 2, 2015


edit Slut shaming

  • Article feature date: 2 April 2015
  • Feature code: {{FA|date=2 April 2015|revision=5862128}} (Only add this after this page has saved)
  • Remove this section now.

edit 02 April 2015

Protest against slut-shaming

Slut shaming is the basis of modern society — the pillar on which decent people plop their weight — the great turtle on which morality stands in order to reach the top shelf. But it is equally important as an amusement, the amount of which is limited only by the number of:

  1. Definitions of the term "slut,"
  2. Available shaming techniques, and
  3. Participants on hand.

The term "slut" signifies a woman whose fortress is not well-guarded. The concept is relative, not only because the figurative winners write the history of war, but because the proverbial pen is mightier than the sword. Thus, every human being unfortunate enough to be born female is a potential slut, and many live up to their potential.

Sigmund Freud stated that sexual desire motivates human actions. Nevertheless, slut shaming is not always sexual. The alleged slut can be a teenager who bares a fraction of her body (any fraction) for a fraction of a second in front of a fraction of a camera; or equally likely an elderly Cambridge lady, researching into the role of slut shaming.

So it is not that a woman defends her fortress but that she burrows under the fortress of social control — such as when she criticises slut shaming itself. A key defense that society uses is the "slut factor," as a woman is not only a slut when she acts sluttily, but especially when she resists acting sluttily. To further show the term's marvelous adaptability, a woman acting maximally slutty is never called a "slut" by her co-actor, at least for the entire time they are in bed together. (more...)

edit Turtle

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Logger eggs 01

Turtle are lizards in the half-shell. A turtle can retreat inside the shell for warmth, safety, and to catch the soaps. Subspecies of turtle include common turtles, snapping turtles, sea turtles, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Turtles are one of Earth's oldest species, essentially fossils without the unpleasant chore of dying. Their shells kept them from being overhunted into extinction by dinosaurs, and even today, keep them from being mistaken for porcupines. The shell is the reason why some tortoises are over 65 million years of age.

The word turtle is derived from the Old English word turdyl, meaning "little turd". This is because the people of the Middle Ages believed turtles actually originated from sewage dumped into the Thames; feces floated on top of the water, where Medieval scientists thought the upper part dried out and hardened into a crust from exposure to the atmosphere, then through the miracle of spontaneous generation, a head and limbs would pop out the sides.

It was not until the early 1700s that biologists first reclassified turtles as a type of amphibian, bringing them one step closer to their modern classification as lizards in 1985. However, the name stuck, albeit with updated spelling.

Turtles first evolved when a cowardly lizard took refuge underneath a rock, and carried it around on its back. However, the rock was heavy, which made the lizard's movements slow. Future generations took to instead eating rocks and growing a mineralized shell; this new, lighter shell might have enabled faster movement had the turtles not also gotten fatter to fit inside their new mobile homes. (more...)

edit Glory hole

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Glory Hole

A glory hole is a type of architectural adornment that first became fashionable in the Italian Renaissance period. Glory holes in this time were often covered in gold leaf, and had either bas-relief or, in sculptor Gian Lorenzo Bernini's case, sculptural details that came out of the frame too much to be considered as such, and were generally imagery from both Biblical creatures and Classical creatures, most notably angels and cherubs, for it was convention that the creatures be able to fly because of the large scale on which these glory holes were often constructed.

But the form of the glory hole has changed a lot over the years. As a seminal piece of the YBA movement that pervaded during 1992, artist Tracey Emin installed Glory Hole at the Tate Modern in London: two walls of a toilet cubicle, one of which with a small hole in around the middle of the door with a few strips of duct tape so that, as Emin put it, "the viewer [could] more comfortably slide his/her eyes in and out through the hole." This changed the public's perception of the glory hole dramatically.

In the Italian Renaissance, glory holes served two purposes for the rich clergymen who were the usual clientele for the architects and sculptors who built them: (1) as a statement of how well-endowed the people who commissioned and displayed them were when entertaining guests, and (2) so that owners could perform various parts of their daily routines, often accompanied by their wives, such as praying, for these tremendous objects usually portrayed religious iconography, and were seen as a way of getting closer to God. On the left here is one of many glory holes in St. Peter's Cathedral, Rome/Vatican City. Although traditionally used by popes after Pope Paul Borghese V, the founder of St. Peter's, this one is now used mainly for display purposes, though is still used for some ceremonies and special occasions. (more...)

edit Horace

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Quintus Horatius Flaccus

Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 BC – 8 BC) was a prominent Roman poet. He is known in the English-speaking world as Horace (/ˈhɔrɪsˌ/). In the Latin-speaking world, he is not known as anything, because Latin is dead, and so is Horace. In the dodgier neighborhoods of Rome in those days, he was known as Flaccid Quint.

It being over 2,020 years since those days, it is surprising that he is known as anything at all, but the reason is that the most frequent subject of the poetry of Horace was Horace. Horace was an officer in the Republican Army at the time it bombed at Philippi, which was around the time that Rome bombed at being a republic. When Octavian (or Augustus) became emperor, Horace stuck around as an official spokesperson. His poetry did a historic balancing act between toeing the party line and being of interest to normal people.

R. Barrow writes that Horace "tells us far more about himself than any other great poet in antiquity," R. Barrow evidently being one of the few who finds this interesting. By comparison, Rock And Roll Fred tells this writer far more about himself than does anyone else at the bar, and it is not.

Anyway. Horace was born on 8 December 65 BC — no one seems to know what day of the week that was — in Venusia in southern Italy. His home was on a trade route between Apulia and Bucania, and his appreciation of language may have been enhanced by those using that route, assuming that truckstops were not much different then from now. His mother must often have washed his mouth out with soap (in Latin, lava). It is possible that soldiers were relocated to his region from Rome for their role in the Social War, which proved that they "do not get along with others," and this could have been a source of even more crude language. His father was at one time a slave but gained his freedom and became an auctioneer, yet another basis of Horace's off-color writings. Horace has some very nice things to say about his father, but nothing at all to say about his mother. Mothers often complain that "You never write me."

Horace's mother invites our speculation, except that this entire section has been guesswork. Nevertheless, spending decades doing the same supports large departments at many modern universities. (more...)

edit Cruel and unusual punishment

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Kirk

Cruel and unusual punishment is a platitude found in the Eighth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The Amendment, like the rest of the Bill of Rights, was written to ensure that the new American nation would not suffer from the excesses of the former English overlords, such as drawing-and-quartering, death by torture (no matter how entertaining it was to contemplate it being done to Mel Gibson in Braveheart), or repeats of Mr. Bean.

That the Founding Founders in the execution-happy colonies would have written an amendment to ban executions entirely is so unthinkable that it has taken the finest minds in the United States to explain why it means exactly this.

Most uses of the Eighth Amendment in the U.S. court system therefore concern executions, the exception being the rare lawsuit to demand premium cable channels on prison televisions. In fact, no prisoner has ever been drawn-and-quartered or tortured in the United States at all. And slavery, the Alternative Minimum Tax, and Instant Replay in Major League Baseball are technically not even "punishments."

The Supreme Court, then, has had the task of understanding what the Founders could have meant by writing an Amendment that, on the surface, seems meaningless. In the American renaissance called the Great Society, it first occurred to the Court that the death penalty itself could be "cruel and unusual punishment."

As in most things, the Court advanced this "jurisprudence" gradually, first saving from execution only:

  • The insane, who obviously did not know what they were doing
  • Premeditated murders, because the nation needs their expertise and attention to detail in National Economic Planning
  • Child killers, because we need to give them a chance to grow up
  • Spouse killers, because we need to give them a chance to grow old
  • Elderly killers, because sometimes writing kids out of the will just doesn't work
  • African Americans, because we don't execute a fair share of white folks and we wouldn't want blacks to take this the wrong way
  • Authors of gun massacres, because this is the fault of gun shows, SUVs, and rodeos.

(more...)

edit I'm not a racist, but...

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Gingrich

I'm not a racist, but... has long been considered one of the most powerful clichés in the English language. It has the power to define people, cultures, and determine some of the most powerful philosophies that the world has ever seen.

It is generally used in an argumentative situation, to make a point that could potentially be otherwise taken in a negative concept. Similar examples are "I'm not a sexist, but I don't feel women deserve equal pay when they are only truly useful 26 out of 29 days." The statement is often a precursor to "petitio principi" (Latin for "It is because I said so").

In modern society there is an aversion to making a statement that may be considered as politically incorrect. This disarming preface has become a cliche due to it's usefulness in stating what may be unpleasant or not politically correct. This statement is referred to by linguists as a "but-head" statement.

To truly understand the strength of this statement the individual words must be taken into consideration:

  • "I'm" or "I am" is the first part of the phrase. It defines the speaker as an individual. Often used in philosophy to show the existence of things. Descartes said "I think, therefore I am". Here Descartes both defines himself as a thinking individual, and as an individual. In the phrase in question though the speaker defines themselves as a non-thinking individual, and therefore negates his own existence even as he asserts it.
  • "Not" immediately after the definition of self and the subsequent denial of existence, the speaker uses a negative. In Boolean Algebra, and all mathematical logic, the term "not" immediately reverses the meaning of everything going into it. So by defining themselves as a thinking/non-thinking existent/non-existant individual, they immediately negate it in total, and thereby make themselves into a non-individual. This can be viewed similarly to a member of a mob, who becomes no longer an individual within their own right, but simply a part of a greater whole. And in much the same way as a mob's intelligence as a whole is that of its least intelligent member, the speaker again shows the lowest possible calculation of intelligence. (more...)

edit Project Gemini

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Gemini patch

Project Gemini was NASA’s second space program, between the Mercury and Apollo missions. With the Apollo program behind schedule, NASA needed something to do between 1961 and 1966, after which everyone would be watching the soccer World Cup. The Gemini spacecraft carried two astronauts to different parts of the solar system and one crew into an alternative universe. The program put the United States ahead of the Soviet Union in the Cold War Space Race.

Gemini’s mission was to iron out various space-travel and personnel issues, in preparation for the goal set by President Kennedy to land people on the moon and return them safely to Earth. Project Gemini managed to complete the first part of that goal, just leaving Apollo to figure out how to return the astronauts safely to Earth. Other minor objectives were medical experiments, navigation, rendezvous, explosive yield, docking, EVA and orbital maneuvering techniques.

The Gemini capsule was launched on top of a Titan II inter-continental ballistic missile, the first to be fired from Cape Canaveral. The first four manned launches expanded the envelope from sub orbital ICBM to orbital spacecraft. Project Gemini was also the first to use mission control in Houston. (more...)

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