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<div style="clear:left;padding-top:0.2em">{{recently featured|recently featured}}</div><div align="right">'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''</div>
 
<div style="clear:left;padding-top:0.2em">{{recently featured|recently featured}}</div><div align="right">'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''</div>
<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> {{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120211|Yesterday's Re-Featured [[Uncyclopedia:Retro Week|Retro]] Article! - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120210|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Article of 2011]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120208|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 2nd place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120205|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 3rd place (tied)]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120204|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 6th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120203|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 7th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120200|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 8th place (tied)]] - |Yesterday's Featured Article - }}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{#dpl: allowcachedresults=false|linksto=Template:FA/{{#time:d F Y|{{lastfeature|{{{1|}}} -1 day}}}}|format=,[[%PAGE%|%PAGE%]],,|suppresserrors=true}}</h2>{{#dpl:
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<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> {{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120211|Yesterday's Featured Article - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120210|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Article of 2011]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120208|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 2nd place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120205|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 3rd place (tied)]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120204|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 6th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120203|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 7th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120200|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 8th place (tied)]] - |Yesterday's Featured Article - }}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{#dpl: allowcachedresults=false|linksto=Template:FA/{{#time:d F Y|{{lastfeature|{{{1|}}} -1 day}}}}|format=,[[%PAGE%|%PAGE%]],,|suppresserrors=true}}</h2>{{#dpl:
 
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Latest revision as of 00:08, August 2, 2012

Today's Featured Article -


Yesterday's Featured Article - Constitution of the United States (actual text)

Sigs

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Section I. Any male constituent who has attained the Age of Twenty-One years shall vote for a nobleman of his choosing to represent him in the executive legislature. He shall freely cast his choice on a ballot in a designated voting bureau and deposit the ballot in a box. After all the constituents accomplished their duty of Citizenry, the box contents shall be dumped in the nearest river and the predetermined winner be announced to the People.

Section II. Any elected representative in the Land of the Free shall receive 10 slaves Free of charge, only shipping and handling to pay and shall be refunded if not satisfied before 30 days.(more...)
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