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<div style="clear:left;padding-top:0.2em">{{recently featured|recently featured}}</div><div align="right">'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''</div>
 
<div style="clear:left;padding-top:0.2em">{{recently featured|recently featured}}</div><div align="right">'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''</div>
<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> {{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120211|Yesterday's Re-Featured [[Uncyclopedia:Retro Week|Retro]] Article! - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120210|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Article of 2011]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120208|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 2nd place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120205|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 3rd place (tied)]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120204|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 6th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120203|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 7th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120200|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 8th place (tied)]] - |Yesterday's Featured Article - }}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{#dpl: allowcachedresults=false|linksto=Template:FA/{{#time:d F Y|{{lastfeature|{{{1|}}} -1 day}}}}|format=,[[%PAGE%|%PAGE%]],,|suppresserrors=true}}</h2>{{#dpl:
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<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> {{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120211|Yesterday's Featured Article - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120210|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Article of 2011]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120208|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 2nd place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120205|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 3rd place (tied)]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120204|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 6th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120203|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 7th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120200|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 8th place (tied)]] - |Yesterday's Featured Article - }}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{#dpl: allowcachedresults=false|linksto=Template:FA/{{#time:d F Y|{{lastfeature|{{{1|}}} -1 day}}}}|format=,[[%PAGE%|%PAGE%]],,|suppresserrors=true}}</h2>{{#dpl:
 
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Latest revision as of 00:08, August 2, 2012

Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Solar flares - Stairs

Yesterday's Featured Article - Solar flares

Guy drowning in sun

Solar flares are inexplicable fiery eruptions that occur on the surface of the Sun and make for some pretty cool desktop wallpapers. A single solar flare can release up to 6 × 1025 joules of heat into the vast vacuum of space, enough energy to power the city of Baltimore for far too long. The phenomenon is one of the leading wasters of energy in the universe, second only to people who forget to turn off the lights when they leave a room. Currently, nobody knows for certain how or why solar flares occur, although several theories have been developed by the American Astronomical Society and the very vocal scientific experts that comment on Yahoo! News articles.

One of the most widely accepted explanations for the phenomenon is that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans, which would explain their name. After the Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrated while reentering the Earth's atmosphere, neither the crew nor their flare guns were recovered, leading some to believe that the ship's crew escaped on a life boat to the Sun and now sets off flares periodically in hopes of signaling NASA scientists. Some have gone as far as to say that other forms of extraterrestrial life have also become stranded on the Sun's surface after crashing their flying saucers, but those people are just crazy.(more...)
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