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<div style="clear:left;padding-top:0.2em">{{recently featured|recently featured}}</div><div align="right">'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''</div>
 
<div style="clear:left;padding-top:0.2em">{{recently featured|recently featured}}</div><div align="right">'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''</div>
<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> {{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120211|Yesterday's Re-Featured [[Uncyclopedia:Retro Week|Retro]] Article! - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120210|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Article of 2011]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120208|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 2nd place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120205|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 3rd place (tied)]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120204|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 6th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120203|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 7th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120200|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 8th place (tied)]] - |Yesterday's Featured Article - }}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{#dpl: allowcachedresults=false|linksto=Template:FA/{{#time:d F Y|{{lastfeature|{{{1|}}} -1 day}}}}|format=,[[%PAGE%|%PAGE%]],,|suppresserrors=true}}</h2>{{#dpl:
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<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> {{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120211|Yesterday's Featured Article - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120210|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Article of 2011]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120208|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 2nd place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120205|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 3rd place (tied)]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120204|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 6th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120203|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 7th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120200|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 8th place (tied)]] - |Yesterday's Featured Article - }}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{#dpl: allowcachedresults=false|linksto=Template:FA/{{#time:d F Y|{{lastfeature|{{{1|}}} -1 day}}}}|format=,[[%PAGE%|%PAGE%]],,|suppresserrors=true}}</h2>{{#dpl:
 
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Latest revision as of 00:08, August 2, 2012

Today's Featured Article -

Yesterday's Featured Article - Gravity (film)

Kerbal

Gravity is a 2013 science-fiction blockbuster starring Special Effects and Space Debris, with cameos from Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. It quickly became one of the top grossing movies in history, with a combined take of only $100 million less than timeless classics like Ice Age: Continental Drift and Fast & Furious 6.

In a world where global space agencies are run by incompetent nitwits and all objects lie in virtually the same orbit, NASA has taken the Space Shuttle out of retirement and is repairing the Hubble Space Telescope a second time. Generically named astronauts Ryan Stone (Bullock) and Matt Kowalski (Clooney) are joined on the mission by several other bit characters whose names neither the director nor the audience care about. Stone is a criminally incompetent PTSD case who cheated her way through astronaut training with appeals to pity over the "freak playground accident" of her daughter. Kowalski, the mission commander, is a graduate of Upper New York Pickup College and has a self-published book available on Lulu.com, Bang Space: How To Pick Up Chicks In Low-Earth Orbit.

With no warning during the mission, Russia decides that space is overrated and creates a deadly debris field that will render space inaccessible for centuries and which flies on a newly invented "half the orbital period as low earth orbit" trajectory, pummeling everything in its way every 90 minutes. The remainder of the shuttle crew are killed, forcing Kowalski to switch his pickup strategy from Negging to White Knight as he gives her instructions on how to reach the international space station, how to use a wrench, and how to tie her shoes. (more...)
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