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<div style="clear:left;padding-top:0.2em">{{recently featured|recently featured}}</div><div align="right">'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''</div>
 
<div style="clear:left;padding-top:0.2em">{{recently featured|recently featured}}</div><div align="right">'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured articles]]'''</div>
<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> {{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120211|Yesterday's Re-Featured [[Uncyclopedia:Retro Week|Retro]] Article! - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120210|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Article of 2011]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120208|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 2nd place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120205|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 3rd place (tied)]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120204|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 6th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120203|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 7th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120200|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 8th place (tied)]] - |Yesterday's Featured Article - }}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{#dpl: allowcachedresults=false|linksto=Template:FA/{{#time:d F Y|{{lastfeature|{{{1|}}} -1 day}}}}|format=,[[%PAGE%|%PAGE%]],,|suppresserrors=true}}</h2>{{#dpl:
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<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> {{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120211|Yesterday's Featured Article - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120210|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Article of 2011]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120208|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 2nd place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120205|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 3rd place (tied)]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120204|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 6th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120203|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 7th place]] - |{{#ifexpr: ({{CURRENTYEAR}}{{CURRENTMONTH}}{{CURRENTDAY2}}-1) > 20120200|[[Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2011|The Top Ten of 2011: 8th place (tied)]] - |Yesterday's Featured Article - }}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{#dpl: allowcachedresults=false|linksto=Template:FA/{{#time:d F Y|{{lastfeature|{{{1|}}} -1 day}}}}|format=,[[%PAGE%|%PAGE%]],,|suppresserrors=true}}</h2>{{#dpl:
 
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Latest revision as of 00:08, August 2, 2012

Today's Featured Article -


Recently featured: Hillary Clinton

Yesterday's Featured Article - Hillary Clinton

HillaryClintonAaaa

Hillary Clinton also known as Hillary Rodham Clinton or Hillary Rodham, or on bumper stickers as just Hillary! depending on how ex-President Bill Clinton is polling that week, is a U.S. politician, former First "Lady," and the only Secretary of State who had to be replaced by John Kerry.

Hillary Clinton is the utterly likable and completely unavoidable nominee of the Democratic Party for U.S. President in 2016, a campaign for which she has adopted slogans such as, "I'm the next best thing to Bill!" and "Vote for me and get Bill free!"

Hillary was born in Chicago, Illinois, on October 26, 1947, the daughter of a small businessman and a smaller homemaker, neither of whom is the clear source of those large thighs. Many journalists believe Hillary was named after Sir Edmund Hillary, who would go on to be someone people had heard of when he climbed Mount Everest — mostly, those journalists who take Hillary at her word. However, the fact is that she was instead named after Hilary Duff, and her parents doubled the "l" for "teh llullz."

Hillary was raised a Methodist, participated in student government, and by all accounts had a normal youth, apart from her obvious destiny to be a Senator and President some day.

The household was politically conservative and even influenced by Barry Goldwater. Unfortunately, she fell in with the Rockefeller wing — hardly Methodist and, on most issues, strictly agnostic — and later settled on Saul Alinsky, America's clearest exponent (after Karl Marx) of the idea that the ends justify the means, whose manual on ruthlessness informed the nation's lawyers no less than its pre-schoolers. (more...)
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