...about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly asinine alignments?
...that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
...that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
...that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
...that in 2001George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that it has been proven beyond reasonable doubt that the reason for 50% of modern marriages ending in divorce is because those people try to go to IKEA together for a relaxing afternoon?
...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
...that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
...that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
...that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
...that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.
...that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
...that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
...that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
...that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe?
...that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
...that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
...that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
...that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
...that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
...that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
...that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
...that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
...that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
...that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
...that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
...that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
...that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
...that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
...that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
...that is 8th grade math?
...that really fat people cannot wash themselves but must avail of car washes late at night?