Teenager

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 07:52, April 6, 2006 by Rcmurphy (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
You may be looking for Teenagers (Animal) and not even know it!


Teenagers

Look at them, all huddled up like that. Makes me sick. Lousy teenagers...

Lousy, good-for-nothing teenagers. Always hanging around everywhere, causing trouble and whatnot. Setting a bad example for the young ones, the only ones that actually look up to them. I tell you, teenagers have never done anything for the greater good. If they aren't out in the middle of the night causing trouble, chances are they're laying around in the basement doing drugs or something of the sort. Teenagers are the reason I decided to never have kids of my own, just didn't want 'em to end up like that, rotten hoodlums. Never do nothing for nobody, just out there causing trouble, day and night... lousy teenagers.

History

Ah, they been around for almost as long as I have I suppose. Didn't start getting real bad 'til after I was in school. As soon as I graduated, people started hearing "Oh those teenagers been causing trouble at the football games again," or, "Oh, them teenagers are complaining about 'so and so' again." Things really started to go downhill after the war though, all them young soldiers coming back and doing whatever it is them and their wives did, I'm not sure I wanna know.

Anyway, then they started having all these kids, they were everywhere, and I started to dread the day they became their parents age; figured they be just the same, or worse. Well, the day finally came along, and they turned out to be worse than the ones that came before them. Damn hippies, started complaining about the governments, and the wars, that's all those damn kids ever did. Complain, complain, complain.

I still held out some hope that things would get better after the war and everything, but as soon as the soldiers came back, they all just started being rude. Refused to respect the men for what they did, just decided to shun them instead. Lousy teenagers...

Work Ethic

Boycow

Now that's hard work. I'm sure he never took life for granted.

Work ethic? What work ethic? I haven't seen a teenager with a work ethic since back when I was a boy. Yeah, I'll tell you 'bout a work ethic. Back then we'd have to wake up at 4:30 and go out in the bitter cold to feed the animals, milk the cows, collect the chicken eggs, and help make breakfast. Finally, after all that, we'd walk 10 miles uphill, both ways, in the freezing rain, to go to school so we could get ourselves a proper education, and provide for our future families. But nowadays, nowadays the kids ain't got no work ethic, they wake up 10 minutes after school started and go hassle their parents for a ride.

Sure are spoiled, never do anything for themselves, always gotta get someone else to do it for 'em. If I would've acted the way they do when I was a kid, I surely could've expected a proper whipping. I suppose it doesn't help that their parents keep buying them all sorts of fancy gizmos and such, and yet expect nothing back from the lazy bums. I sure hope they learn a thing or two before they become adults, otherwise the entire society's gonna be poor, and all we'll all look like a bunch of chickens running around with their heads cut off. Lousy teenagers...

Social Complex

Tompkins attacks tokyo

Look at this teenager attacking Tokyo... tsc tsc

Not very complex, if you ask me. Pretty simple really... just sit around and talk on the phone all day, and if they ever even bother to get outside the house they always got those damn 'Celular phones' with 'em. Never much care about anyone but themselves, even when they're in a relationship they always neglect each other and never seem to be with each other, not much of a relationship if you think about it. If they do get together, it's always with a bunch of other ones, and they just go and cause trouble for everybody. It's true, one teenager's bad enough, but if you get a few of them together... it's hell.

Other than just hanging out in their little groups, you do see 'em alone walking around town sometimes. I used to try to be polite, greet them and all, but they'd never say anything back, always just keep on walking. So now, as you can imagine, it's only fair that I treat them the same way. Step on their toes, cane 'em in the knee, whatever I can think of to get back at 'em for all those years they took from me. I'm not the only one neither, nope, just about everyone I know feels the same way, even my bingo partners. Everybody agrees that the world would be a better place if it weren't for them lousy teenagers...

Habits

Not all those drugs, and alcohol, and whatever else. I mean their sleeping habits and such. I'd rather not even speak of those other habits, makes me sick. All those stupid girls, going to parties and coming back home pregnant. Hell, I'd feel sorry for them if it weren't their fault, but it always is. Dumb things get all drunk and everything, what'd they expect to happen? Ah, well, suppose I won't live much longer, shouldn't have to go through that generation.

Sleeping Habits

File:Teensleep.jpg

Well, those teenagers don't usually go to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, I should know, I live next-door to a few. They claim they're studying their books and things of the sort. But I figure if they actually studied those they'd get better grades and do something with their life, 'stead of just lying around. Anyway, since they don't get to sleep 'til 3 or 4 in the morning, they usually don't wake up 'til 10 or 11.

They might show up to school late and blame it on studying, but they normally just don't bother. End up sitting in the basement some more, blaring music so loud everyone in town can hear. Better than the weekends I 'spose, they tend to stay up about twice as late those nights, and they're always a lot more rowdy with their 'parties.' They ain't like no parties I ever seen before, I'll tell you that much. There is an upside to the weekends though, that is I don't have to see 'em during the day when I'm out and about. Still have to endure that damn music though... lousy teenagers...

Eating Habits

Well, the eating habits are probably the most-interesting thing, which isn't saying much I guess. They're only interesting cause they vary so much. You see, the guys will eat pretty much anything in sight, cause they all wanna be big and strong... imbeciles.

Anyway, the guys all wanna be big and strong, but the girls all like to be small and skinny, think it makes them prettier or something. Strange thing is though, they never seem to eat in front of each other, too embarrassed I guess. I always see 'em alone at home, munching on whatever they can find usually. What they eat is never very healthy, always chips, or cookies, or mac n' cheese. They don't seem to worry much about their health; doesn't bother me a bit, the sooner they leave this earth, the better as far as I see it. Lousy teenagers...

Role in Society

Them teenagers don't do anything at all to help the community, except when they're caught shoplifting and have to do them community service. It doesn't work to educate them, but at least they can't cause harm when they're at it, I 'spose... Talking 'bout shoplifting, those damned teenagers only seem to do bad to the society, if you think about it... always breaking the law by smoking and drinking and doing drugs and transpassing and loitering and, of course, stealing stuff.

Those police officers don't seem to do anything at all to catch those damned teenagers... "They're just kids", they say. Yea, that's because police officers are getting younger and younger, almost teenager-like. Can't defend no-one, if you ask me, those damed teenagers. Can't even rescue a cat from a tree, them, hehe... Anyways, their 'role in society' is to be the pain in our necks, that's what it is. Always skateboarding on them walkways, those lousy teenagers...

Overall

Overall, well... Overall teenagers aren't much good for anything. Not good for working, not good for teaching, not good for talking to. Like I said, pretty much not good for anything, other than the occasional cane-beating, I 'spose. Those lousy teenagers...Template:ArticleFH

Personal tools
projects