Teddy Bear
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Oh, crap. Where's the Teddy Bareback article?”
“a Teddy bear is among the most dangerous animal on the planet.”
“Love is black and white until you get attacked by a Teddy Bear.... then it's pure red”
“Sometimes I wear a teddy, but mostly I don't.Other times I piss in my nickers ”
“A pack of teddy bears ate my baby!!”
“Osama bin Laden renames one of his sons Paddington bin Laden.”
“ Rarely is the question asked, is my name my fellow Americans those god damn iraqies?”
“ Gimme back my Teddy Bear god dammit!”
“That Teddy Bear is one evil son of a bitch!”
| Teddy Bear | |
|---|---|
| Teddy.jpg | |
| Kingdom | Toy |
| Phylum | None |
| Class | None |
| Order | None |
| Family | oys |
| Genus | None |
| Species | Any kind |
| Binomial Name | Any name |
| Primary Armament | Funness |
| Secondary Armament | Cuteness |
| Power Plant | None |
| HP: | 0 |
| Mana Points: | 0 |
| Strength: | Soft |
| Intelligence: | Funny |
| Weight | 10 ounces |
| Length | 10 inches |
| Special Attack | NONE! |
| Conservation Status | Not Conservered |
Teddy bears are a small species of pack hunting bear and are the only social bear. Teddy b
Contents |
[edit] Diet
An adult teddy bear, generally hunts in packs to bring down children. Surviviors of teddy bear attacks are kind of rare and 85-90 percent of attack victims die of blood loss and blood poisoning or the simple fact that the doctors are just too fuckin stupid to understand how to save lives.
[edit] Random facts
LIFE SPAN: A long time . A teddy bear is called a teddy
POPULATION: A hell of a lot. 10 billion, kazillion, kalillion, mabillion, thousand teddy bears live on the planet so you children are all going to get eaten and not survive HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
[edit] See Also
[edit] Random facts
http://www.teddybears.org
