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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17

NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's Featured Article - HowTo:Fix a computer

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Computers are marvelously complicated machines, and it is a wonder that they work at all. Unfortunately, because of this, your computer will likely stop working right one day. Maybe you're getting error messages. Maybe it runs slowly. Maybe it won't turn on. Maybe there's a raging fire billowing out from the side of its case. Essentially, it's not working like it's supposed to, and this is a problem.

But why spend big money taking it to a repair shop to be fixed by some barely-competent technician when you could just do it yourself? Fixing a computer may seem intimidating because of the amount of lights, whistles, and technological doodads you may find crammed into your typical computer. Using one is hard enough, let alone knowing how to fix it. Never fear though: you were smart enough to know how to get to Uncyclopedia, so fixing your Uncyclopedia display unit shouldn't be that much harder! Working up the motivation and confidence is the hardest part; it gets much easier from here on out, I promise.

There's a first time for everything, just like stapling toast to a wall. This will be a valuable learning experience for you. You're still probably distressed by your computer's misbehavior; take a minute to slowly inhale and exhale, or maybe go outside for a walk. Clear your mind to achieve the state of zen all great computer repair people use to pull off their magic.

Once you're sufficiently calmed down, brew up a big pot of strong coffee and chug it. You'll need the caffeine for the energy needed to make this work. And remember: you will be able to fix your computer! (more...)

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