Tar Ponds Black
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Anything can happen out of the Coke Ovens”
Tar Ponds Black is a great tasting, smooth dark beer produced right here on Cape Breton Island at the Coke Ovens brewery in Sydney, Nova Scotia. The beer is so good that truckloads of it are regulary shipped off to the mainland, the rest of Canada, and the United States. Tar Ponds Black is owned by the Labatt brewery but this special tonic is only produced in Cape Breton. For only $6.99, tourists and expatriate Capers can buy a souvenir bottle to take back home with them, for a limited time it even comes with a Cape Breton tartan bow.
In the late 90s and early 00s, Tar Ponds Black was involved in a lawsuit with some Whitney Pier residents. They claimed that this miracle drink caused cancer but the lawsuit was dismissed by the judge after carefully weighing the evidence. The fact that the judge had received a lifetime supply of Labatt Blue from the company did not factor into the decision
edit Effects of drinking Tar Ponds Black
In a government funded study in the late 90s it was found that drinking this wonderful beverage cures a variety of ailments such as autism, dyslexia, pedophilia, bipolar disorder, bestiality, Down's Syndrome, alcoholism, uglyness, being retarded, jumping off buildings, internet addiction, and schizophrenia.