Tap

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Tapping)
Jump to: navigation, search

Tap is the sacred act of procreating amongst the mammals known as primates. The actual act has been past down from generation to generation through vast forms of communication and visual instructions. From grunts to online pornography, humans and apes driven need to tap that ass has survived the test of time… and for good reason.

edit Apes

Monkeysex8dd

Evolution in the making

Male apes have been known to teach their sons how to tap a female and teach their daughters how to be tapped by the males while they were still infants. Sometimes these children would not be the male’s biological children thus helping to widen the gene pool unknowingly. The alpha males may have the strength to kick ass but a female will be tapped by a lesser male if the alpha male is busy tapping another female’s ass. The alpha female is known to be tapped by numerous males in a single day.

edit Humans

Tap2

The Art of Tapping

Humans have taught the act to tap that ass in the form of the infamous Father/Son talk and Mother/Daughter talk. In most cases in the recent generations, the Father/Son talk can be modified to the fill-in the blank (_____/Son talk) scenario. The elder sibling, an aunt or uncle, the mother, a grandparent, a godparent, the Board of Education, a Catholic priest, a legal guardian, and even a total stranger have been known to teach an adolescent the facts of life. Tapping can also be between people of the same sex. Girl on girl action never gets old and boy on boy action gets less attention.

edit Visual

Skeet

The Art of Skeeting

Art has provided many works of the act of tapping over the centuries. Sex graffiti covers the walls from the time of Homo erectus to Cro-Magnon. The walls inside the Great Pyramids have hieroglyphics and art depicting the art of tapping. The Greek & Roman males even taught the art of tapping to adolescent boys so that the young males would receive a tap from their elders. Mass orgies would take place in public places known as brothels and bathhouses just for the sake of tapping ass.

The Far East went as far as writing a book known as the Kama Sutra of all possible positions that could be conceived without being obese. Artist would paint portraits of nude women so men could tap themselves whenever a woman/ or young boy was not near or was unwilling to be tapped. With the invention of the camera, even the poorest and ugliest of people were able to visually stimulate themselves to feel as if they had been tapped.

edit War

Abraham Lincoln passed the Proclamation of Thanksgiving. Within the writing President Lincoln stated that tapping ones own family member was not an act of tapping but an act of incest. Jefferson Davis along with Governors of the southern states declared war for the right to tap ones own family member. After many tapped asses and many satisfied sons and mothers later, the south was defeated and the country rejoiced by tapping the women from the Native American tribes and killing their men with smallpox.

edit See also

Personal tools
projects