Talk:White people

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

edit I don't know what the difference is between Uncyclopedia and Encyplodia Drimatica because they are both racist hate sites built up of people who are bitter, hateful, vengeful sadistic litttle shithead

who enjoy offending good people by spreading total crap about religions and races. I Perfer the real encyplopedia aqceholes!

Why are you being so bitter, hateful and vengeful? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 16:58, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

edit Beautiful

“I Perfer the real encyplopedia aqceholes!”
~ IP

I lolled in my pants. Maybe you should start with the dictionary and work your way up to an encyclopedia. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN19:23, 7 Mar

edit God damn clean up

Some wihte dude needs to clean this up....And what's up with the top section? We ALWAYS start an article with the oscar wilde quotes. Not with content. The preceding unsigned comment was added by 62.135.156.149 (talk • contribs)

edit Still cleaning up...

edit Revisions done, and still to come

I agree with RBD, the lists were a little cloying, but as I was doing a significant re-write on Revision as of 02:40, 9 June 2009 I didn't want to rip the entire thing down to nil, but also didn't want to leave the purely unfunny rants in there.

I'd like to see more quotes in here though, but some that are funny. (I liked the African child one, but I can see why it wouldn't be a winner all the time.) Scrap the lists (but I'd still love to have something relating to the two different Michael Jacksons, but I can save that for another page.) And I love to see an extension on the sub-genus area.

All in all, this is still in progress, and some people have different perspectives on what is racist and what isn't. (I have to admit that it's really hard for me to do anything on Aussies, being that I'm one myself.)

G'day [1]mate[2], howsit hangin'[3]? Bewdy Bonza[4] love[5]. Goin down the pier[6] in me thongs[7] to perv[8] at the Sheilas[9].

edit Translation

  1. Hello
  2. My good fellow
  3. How are you feeling today?
  4. Everything is going exceedingly well
  5. my dear (female) friend
  6. I am going to the boardwalk
  7. wearing my sandals
  8. To look/ogle
  9. (at) the beautiful ladies of leisure

Actually, that's not too bad. PuppyOnTheRadio 01:07, 13 June 2009 (UTC) but still talking too much

Yeah, but having one section use footnotes keeps anyone from using footnotes in preceding sections! I added two in the section "White history," and suddenly your translations became a copy of my {reflist}! For the time being, I've switched to asterisks. Very non-standard. Spıke ¬  10:57, September 29, 2009 (UTC)
PS--PuppyOnTheRadio corrected the coding today and it now looks normal again; thanks. Spıke ¬  02:05, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

edit Better than nothing

Hey atleast us white people arent asian. We have souls :D The preceding unsigned comment was added by Duper guy (talk • contribs)

You're right. White guys like us do have a soul, which as we all know is actually an imaginary entity that has been used to justify slaughter of millions in the past in religious wars. That proves our extremely over-inflated self-delusions of superiority. Pup t 09:45, 2/08/2009
Also a spiffy new animated signature, wow. Spıke ¬  22:54, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

edit Most common mental disease among White people

A double-personality disorder known to affect affluent white people is “the two-faced syndrome” when involved in political and social movements. They concocted a sickening mixture of unregulated capitalism to make them stay rich (or get richer), fanatical liberalism to end “racism” or “hate”, a strong sense of morality to out-Calvin the Calvinists and to promote an one-world order unity-commune government.

If you or someone you know suffers from the two-faced neo-conservative/pseudo-liberal psychosis, please get help not in your private psychiatrist session or in a out-of-the-way religious denomination. They will only make the two-faced syndrome sufferer worse with more symptoms like smugginess, egocentrism and an acute case of ignoramus. + 71.102.3.86 21:00, September 3, 2009 (UTC)

In my experience, the various faces listed above pertain to different white people, and real two-facedness is something much more subtle, when it exists. It is typical of an outsider--and I've been one, outside my country--to ascribe a single attribute to a new place and ignore the internal differences you haven't yet learned about.
Nevertheless, I am delighted that the above user thinks he has typed this comment straight into the article itself--where there is already, still, too much anger to be as funny as it could be. Shhh! (Smugginess?) Spıke ¬  00:27, September 28, 2009 (UTC)
And if it was toned down it would be being moderated... fine line to walk, so I figured fuck it, let's just go as far as we can this way! Pup t 03:12, 28/09/2009
Ah, but last night, I stumbled on My ex-wife, an absolutely rage-filled article (Hell does have one greater fury than A Woman Scorned!) that is as hilarious as a Sam Kinison stand-up routine. There are clever ways to be angry, and we ought to find them. Spıke ¬  12:51, September 28, 2009 (UTC)
Feel free to take it and change it as you see fit. I came into the picture when it looked like this and I hated it, and ended up pulling it to shreds and putting it back together, but never intended to put in any more effort than the amount to make this an average article, an I gave up on it long ago. The main thing I added was the edit comment to try and stop people from random stupidity. I don't know why I bother really... Pup t 22:49, 28/09/2009
Will do, gradually. Will not read a Michael Moore book! Cheers Spıke ¬  02:04, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

edit Excess white space

Hey, anybody, what is the source of all that excess white space above the Leon S. Kennedy quote at the start of the article? Spıke ¬  21:28, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Solved; it was in "Template:Race Infobox" Spıke ¬  23:01, September 30, 2009 (UTC)
I did drop the Template:White in here at some stage in the past - I don't think it really suits in retrospect. In fact I'd be tempted to denude the templates and the quotes for the moment as it's still a WIP, chuck Template:Construction at the top, and keep working on the text, end then consider adding them back in... Pup t 03:00, 1/10/2009
I'm not attached to the box, but left it for the time being. Of more concern is the fact that the illustration, despite the freckles, is technically not a White Folk but a Wigger. Separately, I moved on to do some light editing of African American (after looking up what else links to "Template:Race Infobox"), where the image seems to be completely missing. Spıke ¬  03:10, October 1, 2009 (UTC)
Ha! I stole that image from here. The reason I found it was I was unsure of the implications of the word as it's not Australian slang. Pup t 06:01, 1/10/2009

edit Praise

This article is very good, I'm black brazilian guy and I like --189.48.218.22 13:19, October 2, 2009 (UTC)

Then you'll want to visit African American next! User:SpikeFromNH/signature 13:29, October 2, 2009 (UTC)

edit The need to rip on more Europeans, South Africans as well as more quotes!

Okay, so I think the article makes some okay jokes but we need the quotes, and possibly more warnings (e.g. "Holy Shit! What happened? - Michael Jackson on turning white). Secondly we need to rip on more subtypes of white people like the French, Afrikaners etc, but once again in a funny way and not a rant... That's what's bothering me with this article it seems to be more of a rant than comedy.... [unsigned--14:31, 10 October 2009 41.19.92.151]

Most of it has been cleaned up. The part about white policemen is still very much a rant--and more about black paranoia than white policemen, who these days live in fear of even a false accusation. The quote is fine; I've added it (even though it's historically imprecise, as MJ knew exactly what he was doing). As for French, etc., you have the right attitude; GET STARTED! PS--I think the problems of the French owe more to being French than to being white. Spıke ¬  22:20, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
PS--The "rant" problem has been solved, going forward, by the fact that the article has been protected against drive-by edits. As I guess you found out. Spıke ¬ 

Thanks for adding the quote, and granted MJ may have known about turning white, but it's funnier our way. I'll start drafting a French section (your point is well received) as well as other traditional white gags, although you've covered most of them. Let me know if you have any other ideas and I'll see if I can help. White people must be satirised (I made a new word)...

I don't know if my point is well-received, because my point was that White Folks seems to be locked against people known to us only as 41.19.whatever. And I am not willing, in the long run, to plant your ideas in the article. So register a user name and password for direct access. (Whether or not you do so, please get in the habit of typing ~~~~ to sign your comments; also, always complete the Summary field.) I did, in passing, offer you an idea for development; replace the section on White cops, written from the point of view of "They're out to get me," with something more subtle. It would be an improvement just to write from the standpoint of an advocate of white racism, charitably explaining the need to rough up those of Humbler Colors. Spıke ¬  22:53, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

edit Fun article

Atleast for non-whites. And thats how it should be. Why cant we do an article like this on niggers, and by that i mean an article that is funny and racist at the same time? 88.112.222.28 15:04, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Probably because it is either too sore a subject still, or else it has been done to death. Just my guess.-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 09:41, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
i think the black guys article is pretty good. --Tyypo 11:10, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

Tyypo, which one? There are several articles on black guys; African Americans is one that I fixed up a few months ago. I asked the big guys (in Forum:Climate-change articles) and was told that multiple articles is intentional and there is no interest in making them agree with one another.

Sims, I personally believe (as Dr. King did) that assimilation is the answer, but we still have too many people who profit from black separatism. It was a key factor (urban blacks thinking they would get special benefits) in the election of the President. And the "post-racial" candidate didn't boost assimilation by his remarks that "Cambridge police acted stupidly" given our history of slavery.

Anon, black people do some ridiculous things, and ridiculous things are subject to ridicule (unless you are a 12-year-old in an American grade school who thinks he is gay). I disagree entirely with you that such ridicule is "racism"; it doesn't mean the author hates them all, or thinks his race is better. If you think this article is "fun...At least for non-whites," it may mean you don't like your race ridiculed and want an article that will settle the score. That is likely not to be funny. Offense not connected to humor is reacted to harshly by some of your fellow editors and one user recently cited it as a basis to vote an article off the island. Spıke ¬  12:45 2-Dec-09

I agree with you on several points on this one, Spike. The more white people who have black friends, or even black relatives (like I do...my cousin's wife to be specific), the less discrimination there will eventually be. Thus my adding of the joke that white people (only? not) marry black people because they want to be black. I know a lot of outstanding black people though I am white, the ones I can see making fun of are the gangsta types who are all obsessed about being "black enough" when all that is really needed is to just be themselves. As far as I can tell, the whole ebonics idea seems to be a lame idea to create a language out of slang to satisfy some sort of need to reconstruct cultural identity. So I don't mind lulz on ebonics, especially where it tends to make the user of ebonics sound less educated. Every group does some sort of ridiculous things, either now or in the past, and I would agree with using those things to construct an article. Finally, I strongly agree: a rant does not a good article make. This is part of what ends up going wrong with this type of article - someone gets offended and either blanks part of the article (or the whole thing) or adds their rant to the article, which gets corrected later by someone else who replaces it with a different rant, and the cycle goes on and on. Its part of trying to do an article on any stereotype. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:12, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

edit Revision to "Police brutality"

Three months ago, both this article and African American used to be filled with rants where someone ached to make a serious point about one race's superiority. The section here about white policemen still has that defect. Given all the cops (and college administrators and politicians) tiptoeing around in fear of the mere accusation of being racist, a racist white cop who acts out his racism is rare. You can say that this section is "from the point of view of the black man," but that still doesn't answer the charge of failing to be clever (and doesn't match the voice of the rest of the article). I don't know how to fix it, short of starting over. I raised the question of alternate points of view in Forum:Articles written from a controversial voice and many people here cherish the freedom to be creative. However, unless it makes things funny, I still greatly prefer writing articles as the strictly neutral encyclopedia editor (of no particular race) who unfortunately simply has all the facts wrong. Spıke ¬  01:01 3-Dec-09


Based on the concurrence above of Sims, and silence by all other readers, I've reworked the police-brutality rant. The stuff that follows it, on other white nationalities, I'm not fond of. It says nothing about whiteness (unless you are a black racist), it says nothing at all except the superficial fact that they have strange (to us) dialects or languages, and some of the sections don't say anything substantial about that. 12:10 PS--PuppyOnTheRadio has now moved the bit of Australian dialect to the article on Australian. If there is no objection, I will in a couple of days delete the remainder of Section 4 (preserving the illustration and caption) for the reasons stated above. Spıke ¬  04:21 23-Dec-09 This is now done. Spıke ¬  16:03 26-Dec-09

WTF? Kim Kardashian is the white protoype? She's darker than Beyonce (a black woman who has blonde hair) and resembles an Asian person than a Nordic Aryan! Somebody keeps taking back the Nordic Aryan template which fits the white people's psychopathological profile of being the superior race to dominate or rule the world! + PotatoSmut 02:46, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

The initial illustration used to be of a chav. The current one was substituted recently. I liked the previous one better, because it was an obvious stereotype (and even of a white person with a chain around his neck as though trying to act black), whereas the current illustration isn't stereotypical and makes you wonder what the point is. Separately, we're not doing "psychopathology" here. Just trying to write funny stuff. Spıke ¬  02:54 3-Jan-10

PS--And on that basis, I am reverting your edit. The section on US police was an anti-police rant that I recently converted to an ironic arm's-length discussion of how police "properly" violate the rights of nonwhites. Your addition, comparing police to Nazis and raising Aryan and Jewish issues, is inconsistent with this approach. It was, in fact, a rant that you were once warned about on your talk page. Spıke ¬  03:05 3-Jan-10


And further, last night I deleted the former last section, on the Ku Klux Klan. A main article, Ku Klux Klan, remains and is better than our former collection of stereotypes everyone has heard before.

The only thing I'm still not satisfied with about this article is the shifting tone of voice. The stuff I've written is straight encyclopedia point-of-view, while other stuff is Angry Black Man (but the stuff that remains is nevertheless pretty good). It's taken to an odd extreme in Section 1, where the Angry Black Man writes the text and the white guy footnotes it. A small problem, but specific suggestions are welcome. Spıke ¬  14:36 2-Feb-10

edit NAAWP

There actually is an organisation called 'National Association for the Advancement of White People'. Great article though.... 68.41.25.56 23:53, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

edit Obviously this article was not written by a black man.

This page is to professionaly written for some black man to conjure up. Probably had took a white man hostage and forced him to write it with a gun to his head high off his ass. How many black men to white men do you see graduating college with honors or even high school? And for those who do graduate college would not be wasting their time writing up this crap on here. The only reason why the majority of black men graduate high school is because they are a threat to the student body cause of their "gangster" ways cause they always have something to prove. Now lets take a look at the prison's in america. Theres a 10:1 ratio blacks to whites cause they just have to prove to everyone that they are "hard". Theres much more to say but i have to get ready for work so i can provide to my family/future. I dont need the government to give me money so i can sit on my ass all day in a shit lookin house getting high off crack etc then procede to beat my wife/girlfriend/hoe cause im unhappy with my situation. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Cyberhi07 (talk • contribs) and then proof-read by someone with a brain larger than a pea.


Thank you for working! but your own professional writing and netiquette leave a little to be desired. Indeed, as several of us have discussed in previous sections, culture and conduct--not just white racism--are real issues, even if it is un-PC to talk about them. The ratio of blacks in prison must be compared against the ratio of black illegality, not against the ratio of overall population. Legal oddities that target blacks (such as disparate sentences for crack vs powdered cocaine) don't survive scrutiny and are being removed. "Having something to prove" owes less to the "legacy of slavery" than to current black leadership lecturing the rest about said legacy! Anyway, if the above is what you feel about all blacks, then please continue leaving it to the rest of us to ridicule them more gently. Spıke ¬  11:32 20-Feb-10
SPIKE, you have to admit that he has a very valid point. I mean an individual who has by the very nature of the colour of his skin a less likelihood of being racially profiled, denied access to certain career choices or educational opportunities, and is systematically given a higher proportion of wealth and opportunity - as has his parents and their parents before them, making this not only a systematically disproportionate system but also an entrenched cultural issue - is obviously the best person to speak about what the lack of opportunity is for an oppressed minority group and their perspectives on the corrupt system under which they live. After all, he is white, and therefore more morally centred as a result. He would probably even be able to understand the overwhelming tone of sarcasm that runs through this post. Pup 23:18, 20/02/2010
And Cyberhi07... thank you for giving me that last little bit of help for me to be able to finally get this finished. Pup 23:45, 20/02/2010

edit This article sucks

This article is way too tame. What sensitive fuck wrote this article and then auto-blocked it? Whoever did it is a queer. Take off the goddamn edit so we can juice this motherfucker up a bit. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Rpr (talk • contribs)

Why don't you write a better version in your userspace, at User:Rpr/White Folks? Then we can see what a non-queer thinks of Caucasians. It'll be fucking critical mass. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 04:25, March 17, 2011 (UTC)

edit I FUCKING HATE HONKYS

THEY HAS BEEN OPRESSIN' DE BLACK MAN FO' TOO LONG NAW. IT IZ TIME FO' A REVOLUTION, BROTHERS AND SISTERS. --Roman Dog Bird 04:32, March 17, 2011 (UTC)

That's because you're a nigger Justin Beiber loving faggot. And you have cooties. Pup 09:50 17 Mar '11

edit Typical White Person is Who??

Kim Kardashian isn't even white The preceding unsigned comment was added by some IP (talk • contribs)

Racist! Pup 09:08 14 Jun '11

You dumbass, Talking about white people, black people, indian people and all other reces have something to say about the other race. Yea some white people want to be black and only GOD knows why, but look at all the black people who want to be white... They are putting blonde hair dye in there hair i mean come on.. seriously. And your right whitle people should have never brought them here in the first place, I could kick my ancesters ass for that, now we have to deal with them.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! --Roman Dog Bird 18:27, October 6, 2011 (UTC)

black people are leaches ignorant litle silverbacks .this is the most retarded page ive ever seen.we brought you monkeys here and house trained you and this is the thanks we get THANK GOD FOR SICKLE CELL AND AIDS The preceding unsigned comment was added by 173.195.143.220 (talk • contribs)

Dear previous IP. I really do hope that there has been no individuals whose sorry chore it was to be trained in anything by yourself. Except for custodial work - I'm sure you're very good at spreading shit around.                               Puppy's talk page12:14 18 Apr

edit About White People

I happen to be white and I say that we like to sit on the front porch sipping lemonade and reading the paper, it's a national pastime for US PEOPLE. JuggaloDan2013 (talk) 22:50, February 13, 2013 (UTC)

Are you sure you're not talking about the jews? Tired of white people being accused of jewish crimes although shabbaz goi also exist and righteous jews exist, but in the main stop confounding. The preceding unsigned comment was added by 134.129.205.25 (talk • contribs)

Are you sure you realize this is a humor wiki??? Spıke ¬ 18:19 11-May-14
Personal tools
projects