Talk:We Are Your Best Friend

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For some odd reason I've been trying to compleate 3 different things for weeks now and I start something new on the same day I complete it. Anyway that's irelevant. Is it any good for a days work? Could it be featured? In-Depth review apreciated. SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 22:15 11 July 2008

Well, who were you expecting to review this? ~~Heeren ["Meh"] [tecħ] [kurk] [12/07 08:38]
Humour: 5.8 Sorry, but first impressions just scream "gimmick article". I hate reviewing gimmick articles. Anyway, /me puts one of the very sad songs from Final Fantasy X on background, puts on reviewing pants. And yes, these are red links, but they'll be blue when you move to mainspace (which you should, dammit!)
  • top: -6- - decent. A bit short - it could do with a couple more lines of descriptions (funny how I say that a lot in reviews, maybe it's because I prefer a 1,000 character ramble of an opener, but maybe that's just me) - three lines isn't nearly enough for an article with this little text overall. I liked "tailored esspecially to your interests and perversions " (bold is spelling fix).
  • Colour coding key: -4- - I know this sets up something later in the article, but it doesn't really come off, and it's too much hassle for your average Uncyc reader to scroll back up to see what the related colour was. It doesn't really work, and I'd suggest using something more streamlined, but it's your call.
  • Our Selection Just For You!: -6- - It's alright I guess - in the context of the article it definitely works, but I feel that the whole thing is just way too complex for your casual reader to get. There are a couple of good lines here, such as "at least have a patch of land to call their own instead of standing on a carpet of catholics like everyone else in 2100 ", but it just gets buried beneath all the templatey-ness.
  • Need Ideas For Christmas or Birthdays?: -7- - You can basically put what I put for the section above here. It gets an extra point because of how it's formatted with the extra text outside, but otherwise it plays exactly the same tune. Two other things: That is a huge amount of whoring in these two sections, and in the kids section here you used the same gun template twice, I'm not sure if that was intentional or not.
  • And don't forget...: -6- - It's a nice little ending in trying to convince the reader, but again it requires expansion. I know it's whoring, but Cis-zeatin O-beta-D-glucosyltransferase uses this joke for basically the whole article if you want to find good ways to exoand on it. Again, the snappy section might be de rigour for this kind of article, I don't know, it's not my speciality.
Concept: 4 If you get another review of this, your concept score will probably be much higher. But you're stuck with me as a reviewer, and as I've already said, I'm not really one for gimmicky articles, which, you've gotta admit, this sort of is. Just my personal preference. It's a good idea, definitely, but purists are going to take shots at the execution. Also, this needs a lot more background text, as that is where the majority of your jokes are coming from. It reads like DYK at the minute - it needs to feel more like an article if you know what I mean.
Prose and formatting: 7 Well, I definitely can't fault the formatting. God knows how many templates, all formatted and aligned correctly. I hate to think how much work's gone into making them look right. The spelling's a bit off (such as "terestrial" instead of "terrestrial"), and I reckon a quick going over with that handy F7 button may be in order to keep it looking fresh and tidy. I've given this a high score because of the sheer amount of volume of templates though.
Images: 8 Again, an absolute shedload here. This review is starting to get on my nerves, because this is such an abstract article. They all fit very well with what they are describing, and give the article more of a shoppy feel to it. Two complaints I have, but only minor ones: Some of them I know I've seen before, but you'll only have that problem with experienced Uncyclopedians; and that some of the resolutions are a bit off, but that's easily fixable. Again, sheer volume elevates this score.
Miscellaneous: 2 I'm doing a Boomer here and weighing the score rather than averaging it. Why? Because I feel I've given undue weight to P&F and images due to the amount of templates in this. I don't like doing this, but 34-35 seems too high for this article and this reviewer.
Final Score: 26.8 This is a very decent article for its type, definitely. I think the kind of people who like this article type would lap it up. However, I'm not one of those people, so I came in with a fairly cynical view. Personally, this is easily mainspace, but I don't think it's near feature quality. And I have to put a disclaimer: Like UU's reviews, this is only my opinion, feel free to get others, and like UU, I'm a fairly tough scorer (though I'm not Hype), so these scores may be below the normal mean. Good luck!
Reviewer: ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 12/07 22:07

edit More From PEE

Erm yeah, didn't exactly get the most positive review last time but I've made some changes and I think it's a bit better now. Looking for an In-depth review please. SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 22:39 14 July 2008

I'll claim this one - it looks interesting... User-Gladstone-icon Rt Hon W E Gladstone MP GOM | Converse | Icons-flag-gb Yorks Rose 13:16, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
Gladstone The Rt Hon W Gladstone, MP, GOM is currently discharging the contents of his bladder in the vicinity of this particular contribution. You are cordially advised to stand well back, as decades of consorting with courtesans has left his aim somewhat lacking in containment!
Humour: 6.7 It's good - it's taking a well-used concept and working it into Uncyclopedic humour.
  • Opening paragraph -6- Hmmm. Difficult to really say about the opening paragraph - it says what you want it to say, but I'm not sure it really engages in the way you might want it to do. My two feelings about it - firstly, the web address is too wide and spoils the effect - I'd be inclined to reduce it to BYSWGOYFLA (as per what IWOOT do for theirs. Maybe even have to so it works out as a funny acronym (I've tried to think of one, but I can't come up with any right now!) Secondly, The second sentence could be more subtle. If it were me writing, I'd couch it in less harsh terms, while still saying the same thing. For instance, perversions is a bit obvious; maybe use own peculiar tastes
  • Our Selection Just For You! -7- This is a great opportunity to get some real digs in. If you look at Amazon, it tells you what you've bought previously when saying what you might be interested in - why not try the same here? You've got it with the Insomnia link, but it would work well with the others. "You got turned down last month for a mortgage - but don't worry! While Terrestrial Real Estate is out of your reach, get your spacesuit gloves on a prime square mile of Pluto?" "Your Prozac prescription ends this month - what better time to read Tarquin Middleton's latest wrist-slash feast?" and so on.
  • Need Ideas For Christmas or Birthdays?-7- It took me a little while to get this bit (see 'concept' below, though it didn't help that I'd not realised they were arranged in rows. (Perhaps a formatting issue? I'm at work on a 21" screen, so that may have something to do with it). Anyway, the comments are similar to above - make more of the reasons why the particular gifts are tailored to the particular person. It works really well for the lover, but it's not clear in the blurb why the wife would want a back street abortion.
Concept: 8 Right, so... It's basically Gnome-Mart isn't it? (For those plebs among you who don't read Private Eye, it's a centre-page cartoon spread that they always have in the Christmas edition with lots of dodgy spoof gifts). Anyway - inherently, it's a funny concept, and the gifts/books are generally well executed, if a little random in places. I'm not sure how well the "We are your best friend" concept fits with it though - the bit about mother/wife/kids/15 year old distured piece on the side seems a bit, well, "Peep Show"-ish. And I never really got "Peep Show", so it's probably me.

My one query really is the gifts bit - it took me ages to work out that they're arranged in rows (Ok, so I am having a retard day...). Perhaps it's worth using some sub-headings to point it out?

Prose and formatting: 8.5 You know what you're doing, so I feel a bit of a fraud even trying to comment on this bit!

It's easy for me to read as a fellow Brit, your prose is good and generally well punctuated. There's a couple of little splling errors/gramatical mistakes, but it'll be easier for me to edit the article than to try and list them all.

My one issue about the formatting is that it took me a while in the second section to work out that they were in rows (Ok, so I am having a retard day...). Perhaps it's worth using some sub-headings to point it out? Point off (plus half for the typos) as it spoiled the joke slightly for me.

Images: 7 Sounds harsh? They're all good pictures - but they're a bit dry. That's not why I've marked it down though - oh no. It's a spoof of an online store, right? So GIVE ME A LOGO! (ahem). I don't care how crap it is, but the top welcome bit should have a logo on it.
Miscellaneous: 7.6 Average of previous scores.
Final Score: 37.8 It's nearly there - I think it's getting close to the finished article. There's just sort of odd bits which need touching up really.
Reviewer: --User-Gladstone-icon Rt Hon W E Gladstone MP GOM | Converse | Icons-flag-gb Yorks Rose 14:31, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
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